"And what of me, would you not take me?" said a tall girl, who had abrow almost covered by her hair, heavy eyebrows joined together, bigdrowned eyes, lips thick as eels and all red, and red, too, of face,neck, and shoulders.
"I don't like," said Lamme, "burnt bricks."
"Take me," said a girl of sixteen with a little squirrel face.
"I don't like nut crunchers," said Lamme.
"We must whip him," said they, "with what? Fine whips with a lash ofdried hide. A sound lashing. The toughest skin cannot resist it. Taketen of them. Carters' and donkey drivers' whips."
"Help! Ulenspiegel!" cried Lamme.
But Ulenspiegel made no answer.
"Ye have a bad heart," said Lamme, seeking his friend on every side.
The whips were brought; two of the girls set to work to strip Lammeof his doublet.
"Alas!" said he; "my poor fat, that I had so much trouble to make,they will doubtless lift it off with their keen whips. But, pitilessfemales, my fat will be no use to you, not even to make sauces."
They replied:
"We shall make candles with it. Is it nothing to see clear withoutpaying for it! She that will henceforth say that out of the whip comesforth candle will seem mad to everybody. We will uphold it to thedeath, and win more than one wager. Steep the rods in vinegar. There,your doublet is off. The hour is striking at Saint Jacques! Nineo'clock. At the last stroke of the clock, if you have not made yourchoice, we shall strike."
Lamme, paralyzed, said:
"Have pity and compassion upon me; I have sworn faithfulnessto my poor wife and will keep it, although she left me in evilfashion. Ulenspiegel, dear friend, help!"
But Ulenspiegel did not show himself.
"See me," said Lamme to the light ladies, "see me at your knees. Isthere a humbler posture? Is it not enough to say that I honour yourgreat beauties like the very saints? Happy is he that, not beingmarried, can enjoy your charms! 'Tis paradise, without doubt; but donot beat me, if you please."
Suddenly the baesine, who remained between her two candles, spoke ina strong and threatening voice:
"Good women and girls," said she, "I take my oath on my great devilthat if, in a moment, you have not, by laughter and gentle ways,brought this man to a good mind, that is to say into your bed, I willgo fetch the night watch and have you all whipped instead of him. Yedo not deserve to be called girls of amorous life if in vain youhave free mouth, wanton hand, and flaming eyes to excite the males,as do the females of the glow-worms that have their lanterns but tothis end. And you shall be whipped without mercy for your simpleness."
At that word the girls trembled and Lamme became joyful.
"Now, then, good women, what news bring you from the land of sharpthongs? I will myself go and fetch the watch. They will do their duty,and I shall help them with it. It will give me great pleasure."
But then a pretty little girl of fifteen threw herself at Lamme'sknees:
"Messire," said she, "you see me here before you, humbly resigned;if you do not deign to choose me from among us, I must needs bebeaten for you, monsieur. And the baesine there will put me into afoul cellar, under the Scheldt, where the water oozes from the wall,and where I shall have but black bread to eat."
"Will she verily be beaten for me, Madame baesine," said Lamme.
"Till the blood runs," replied she.
Lamme then, considering the girl, said: "I see thee fresh, perfumed,thy shoulder coming out from thy robe like a great petal of a whiterose; I would not have this lovely skin under which the blood flowsso young, suffer under the whip, nor that those eyes bright with thefire of youth should weep for the anguish of the strokes, nor that thecold of the prison should make thy body shiver, thy body like a lovefay. And so I had rather choose thee than know that thou wert beaten."
The girl took him away. So sinned he, as he did all things in his life,through kindness of heart.
Meanwhile, Ulenspiegel and a tall handsome brown girl with curlingwaving hair were standing before one another. The girl, withoutsaying a word, was looking at Ulenspiegel coquettishly and seemednot to wish to have anything to do with him.
"Love me," said he.
"Love thee," said she, "wild lover who lovest only at thine own hour?"
Ulenspiegel answered: "The bird that passes above thy head sings hissong and flies away. And so with me, sweetheart: wilt thou that wesing together?"
"Aye," said she, "a song of laughter and of tears."
And the girl flung herself on Ulenspiegel's neck.
Suddenly, as both were happy in the arms of their darlings, lo! therecame into the house, to the sound of fife and drum, and jostling,pushing, singing, whistling, crying, shouting, bawling, a gay companyof meesevangers, who at Antwerp are titmouse catchers. They werecarrying bags and cages full of these little birds, and the owls thathad helped them in the sport were opening wide their eyes, gilded inthe light.
The meesevangers were full ten in number, all red, bloated with wineand cervoise ale, with waggling heads, dragging their tottering legsand crying out in a voice so hoarse and so broken that it seemed tothe timid girls that they were rather listening to wild beasts in awood than men in a house.
However, as they never stopped saying, speaking singly or all at once:"I would have the one I love." "We are his that pleaseth us. To-morrowto the rich in florins! To-day to the rich in love!" the meesevangersreplied: "Florins we have and love as well; to us then the lightladies. He that draws back is a capon. These are tits, and we aresportsmen. Rescue! Brabant for the good duke!"
But the women said, laughing loudly: "Fie! the ugly muzzles that thinkto eat us! 'Tis not to swine that men give sherbets. We take whom weplease and do not want you. Barrels of oil, bags of lard, thin nails,rusty blades, you stink of sweat and mud. Get out of here; you willbe well and duly damned without our help."
But the men: "The Frenchies are dainty to-day. Disgusted ladies,you can well give us what you sell to everybody."
But the women: "To-morrow," they said, "we will be slaves and dogs,and will accept you; to-day we are free women and we cast you out."
The men: "Enough words," they cried. "Who is thirsty? Let us pluckthe apples!"
And so saying they threw themselves upon them, without distinction ofage or beauty. The girls, resolute in their minds, threw at their headschairs, quart pots, jugs, goblets, tankards, flasks, bottles, rainingthick as hail, wounding them, bruising them, knocking out their eyes.
Ulenspiegel and Lamme came down at the tumult, leaving their tremblinglovers above at the top of the ladder. When Ulenspiegel saw thesemen striking at the women, he took up a broom in the courtyard, toreaway the twigs from the head, gave another to Lamme, and with themthey beat the meesevangers without pity.
The game seemed hard to the drunkards; thus belaboured, they stoppedfor an instant, by which profited the thin girls who desired to sellthemselves and not to give, even in this great day of love voluntaryas Nature wills it. Like snakes they glided among the injured,caressed them, tended their wounds, drank wine of Amboise for them,and emptied so well their pouches of florins and other moneys, thatthey had left not a single liard. Then, as the curfew was ringing,they put them to the door through which Ulenspiegel and Lamme hadalready taken their way.
XXIX
Ulenspiegel and Lamme were marching towards Ghent and came at daybreakto Lokeren. The earth in the distance sweated dew; white cool mistsglided along the meadows. Ulenspiegel, as he passed before a forge,whistled like the lark, the bird of liberty. And straightway appeareda head, tousled and white, at the door of the forge, and imitatedthe warlike clarion of the cock in a weak voice.
Ulenspiegel said to Lamme:
"This is the smitte Wasteele, who forges by day spades, mattocks,plough shares, hammering the iron when it is hot to fashion withit fine gratings for the choirs of churches, and oftentimes, atnight, making and furbishing arms for the soldiers of freedom ofconscience. He has not won the looks of health at this game, for heis pale as a ghost, s
ad as a damned soul, and so lean that his bonespoke holes in his skin. He has not yet gone to rest, having doubtlesstoiled all night long."
"Come in, both of you," said the smitte Wasteele, "and lead yourasses into the meadow behind the house."
This being done, Lamme and Ulenspiegel being in the forge, the smitteWasteele took down into a cellar of his house all the swords he hadfurbished and the lance heads he had cast during the night, and madeready the day's work for his men.
Looking at Ulenspiegel with lack-lustre eye, he said to him:
"What news do you bring me from the Silent?"
"The prince has been driven out of the Low Countries with hisarmy because of the misconduct of his mercenaries, who shout 'Geld,Geld! money, money!' when they ought to fight. He has gone away towardsFrance with the faithful soldiers, his brother Count Ludovic and theDuke of Deux-Ponts, to help the King of Navarre and the Huguenots;from thence he passed over into Germany, to Dillenbourg, where manythat have fled from the Low Countries are with him. You must sendhim arms and what money you have collected, while we, we shall plythe task of free men upon the sea."
"I shall do what is to be done," said the smitte Wasteele; "I havearms and nine thousand florins. But did you not come riding on asses?"
"Aye," they said.
"And have you not, on your way, heard news of three preachers, slainand stripped and thrown into a hole among the rocks of the Meuse?"
"Aye," said Ulenspiegel, with the utmost boldness, "these threepreachers were three spies of the duke's, assassins, paid to kill theprince of freedom. Together we two, Lamme and I, sent them from lifeto death. Their money is ours and their papers likewise. We shalltake what we need from it for our journey; the rest we shall give tothe prince."
And Ulenspiegel, opening his own doublet and Lamme's, pulled out fromthem papers and parchments. The smitte Wasteele having read them:
"They contain," he said, "plans of battle and conspiracy. I will havethem sent to the prince, and he will be told that Ulenspiegel andLamme Goedzak, his trusty vagabonds, saved his noble life. I willhave your asses sold that you may not be recognized from your mounts."
Ulenspiegel asked the smitte Wasteele if the sheriff's court at Namurhad already set their catchpolls on their track.
"I will tell you what I know," replied Wasteele. "A smith of Namur,a stout reformer, passed through here the other day, under pretextof asking me to help him with the screens, weathercocks, and otherironwork of a castle that is to be built near the Plante. The usherof the sheriff's court told him that his masters had already met,and that a tavern keeper had been summoned, because he lived a fewhundred fathom from the place where the murder had taken place. Askedif he had seen the murderers or not, or any he might suspect assuch, he had replied: 'I saw country folk men and women travellingon donkeys, asking me for something to drink and staying seated ontheir mounts, or getting down to drink in my house, beer for the men,hydromel for the women and girls. I saw two bold rustics that talkedof shortening Messire of Orange by a foot.' And so saying, the host,whistling, imitated the sound of a knife going into the flesh of theneck. 'By the Steel-wind,' he said, 'I will speak with you in private,being empowered to do so.' He spoke and was released. From that timethe councils of justice have without doubt sent despatches to theirsubordinate councils. The host said he had seen only country men andcountry women riding upon asses; it will therefore follow that pursuitwill be directed against all persons that may be found bestriding adonkey. And the prince hath need of you, my children."
"Sell the asses," said Ulenspiegel, "and keep the price for theprince's treasury."
The asses were sold.
"You must now," said Wasteele, "have each a trade free and independentof the guilds; do you know how to make bird cages and mouse traps?"
"I have made such long ago," said Ulenspiegel.
"And thou?" asked Wasteele of Lamme.
"I will sell eete-koeken and olie-koeken; these are pancakes andballs of flour cooked in oil."
"Follow me; here are cages and mouse traps all ready; the tools andcopper filigree work also which are needed to mend them and to makeothers. They were brought me by one of my spies. This is for you,Ulenspiegel. As for you, Lamme, here is a little stove and a bellows;I will give you flour, butter, and oil to make the eete-koeken andthe olie-koeken."
"He will eat them," said Ulenspiegel.
"When shall we make the first ones?" asked Lamme.
Wasteele replied:
"First ye shall help me for a night or two; I cannot finish my greattask alone by myself."
"I am hungry," said Lamme, "can one eat here?"
"There is bread and cheese," said Wasteele.
"No butter?" asked Lamme.
"No butter," said Wasteele.
"Have you beer or wine?" asked Ulenspiegel.
"I never drink them," he answered, "but I will go in het Pelicaen,close by here, and fetch some for you if you wish."
"Aye," said Lamme, "and bring us some ham."
"I will do as you wish," said Wasteele, looking at Lamme with greatdisdain.
All the same he brought dobbel-clauwert and a ham. And Lamme, fullof joy, ate enough for five.
And he said:
"When do we set to work?"
"To-night," said Wasteele; "but stay in the forge and do not be afraidof my workmen. They are of the Reformed faith like yourselves."
"That is well," said Lamme.
By night, the curfew having rung and the doors being shut, Wasteele,making Ulenspiegel and Lamme help him, going down and bringing upfrom his cellar heavy bundles of weapons:
"Here," he said, "are twenty arquebuses to mend, thirty lance headsto furbish, and lead for fifteen hundred bullets to melt down; youshall help me with it."
"With all my hands," said Ulenspiegel, "and why have I not four toserve you?"
"Lamme will help us," said Wasteele.
"Aye," replied Lamme, piteously, and falling with drowsiness throughexcess of drink and food.
"You shall melt the lead," said Ulenspiegel.
"I will melt the lead," said Lamme.
Lamme, melting his lead and running his bullets, kept looking with asavage eye at the smitte Wasteele who was driving him to keep awakewhen he was dropping with sleep. He ran his bullets with a wordlessfury, having a great longing to pour the molten lead on the head ofWasteele the smith. But he controlled himself. Towards midnight, hisrage getting the better of him at the same time as excess of fatigue,he addressed him thus in a hissing voice, while the smitte Wasteelewith Ulenspiegel was patiently furbishing musket barrels, muskets,and lance heads:
"There you are," said Lamme, "meager, pale, and wretched, believingin the good faith of princes and the great ones of the earth, anddisdaining, in an excessive zeal, your body, your noble body that youare leaving to perish in misery and humiliation. It was not for thisthat God made it with Dame Nature. Do you know that our soul whichis the breath of life, needs, that it may breathe, beans, beef, beer,wine, ham, sausages, chitterlings, and rest; you, you live on bread,water, and watching."
"Whence have you this talkative flow?" asked Ulenspiegel.
"He knows not what he says," answered Wasteele, sadly.
But Lamme growing angry:
"I know better than you. I say that we are mad, I, you, andUlenspiegel, to wear out our eyes for all these princes and greatones of the earth, who would laugh loudly at us if they saw us dyingof weariness, losing our sleep to furbish up arms and cast bulletsfor their service while they drink French wine and eat German caponsfrom golden tankards and dishes of English pewter; they will neverask whether, while we are seeking in the open wild the God by whosegrace they have their power, their enemies are cutting off our limbswith their scythes and casting us into the well of death. They,in the meanwhile, who are neither Reformed, nor Calvinists, norLutherans, nor Catholics, but sceptics and doubters entirely, willbuy or conquer principalities, will devour the wealth of the monks,abbeys, and convents, and will have all: virgin
s, wives, women andbona robas, and will drink from their gold cups to their perpetualjollity, and to our everlasting foolishness, simplicity, stupidity,and to the seven deadly sins which they commit, O smitte Wasteele,under the starveling nose of thy enthusiasm. Look upon the fields,the meads, look on the harvest, the orchards, the kine, the goldrising out of the earth; look at the wild things in the woods, thebirds of the skies, delicious ortolans, delicate thrushes, wild boars'heads, haunches of buck venison; all is theirs, hunting, fishing,earth, sea, everything. And you, you live on bread and water, and weare killing ourselves here for them, without sleep, without eating,and without drinking. And when we shall be dead they will fetch ourcarrion a kick and say to our mothers: 'Make us more of these; thoseones can do us no service now.'"
Ulenspiegel laughed and said nothing. Lamme breathed hard withindignation, but Wasteele, speaking in a gentle voice:
"Thou speakest but lightly," said he. "I live not for ham, for beer, orfor ortolans, but for the victory of freedom of conscience. The princeof freedom does even as I do. He sacrifices his wealth, his sleepand his happiness to drive out from the Low Countries the butchersand tyranny. Do as he does and try to grow thinner. 'Tis not by thebelly that peoples can be saved, but by proud courage and fatiguesendured even unto death without a murmur. And now go and lie down,if thou art sleepy."
But Lamme would not, being ashamed.
And they furbished arms and cast bullets until it was morning, andthus for three days.
Then they departed for Ghent, by night, selling bird cages,mouse-traps, and olie-koekjes.
The Legend of Ulenspiegel, Volume 2 (of 2) Page 9