by Shayne Ford
Briefly, he grabs my waist as he helps me spring up. I push myself all the way up and astride.
“Relax,” he says as I stiffen in the saddle. “They’ll walk. Brandy knows how to do it if you don’t do anything crazy and startle her. If nothing else she’ll follow my horse,” he says as if that’s supposed to make me feel better.
After a few moments, I realize it’s not as bad as I thought.
Although I still fear I could fall at any moment, I begin to relax and enjoy the slow-paced walk.
We follow a small creek that leads us to a meadow where an old brick wall separates the estate from the next piece of land.
We ride in silence for the most part until we reach a strip of land covered with vegetation. He pulls his horse to a smooth halt.
Deftly, he dismounts and teaches me how to do the same. Once I pull my feet out of the stirrups and start sliding off, he catches me in his arms.
As much as I struggle to keep my feelings under control, I warm up as I feel his embrace wrapped around me.
Grappling with a wave of heat, I tear away from him and avert my eyes as I run my hands over my clothes, pretending I’m not affected by him.
The horses start grazing not far from us as we lower ourselves on the grass. The afternoon light rolls over our faces, the temperature mild this time of day.
We spend a few more moments in perfect silence.
He doesn’t look at me while I steal glances at him from time to time. He tilts his head down, a few bangs swooping over his brow.
I finally find the courage to do what I’ve always wanted to. I bring my hand to his face, thread my fingers through his hair and comb it all back.
He flicks his eyes at me. The sun, and the colors of the fall spill into his azure gaze.
For a second, he drinks me in, and then he shifts his eyes away.
“How’s life with Blackmore?” he says with a flat voice.
“It’s work.”
“Work you could’ve done for me,” he says.
I sense resentment beneath the veneer of his calmness, so I stay mum.
“It wasn’t that simple,” I say and look down, hiding my eyes.
He stays quiet for a moment before he speaks again.
“You knew you were gonna leave. Why didn’t you tell me that day in San Francisco?” he asks.
I flick my gaze up.
“I wasn’t something I had planned. It was a last minute thing.”
“Was it?”
“Yes. And I didn’t think it would make a difference.”
“Really?” he bursts out, his voice washed with disbelief. “How come of all people, you had to work for Ashton Blackmore?”
“I had no idea I was interviewing for his company. I was hoping they’d offer me a local job, and then they made me a different proposal.”
A shadow rushes across his face.
It’s brief and yet enough to make his eyes glint with sadness. I can almost feel him pushing his emotions back, and it hurts him.
It hurts me as well.
“I didn’t run away, Lex,” I say, voicing a thought and answering a question he hasn’t even asked.
His eyes narrow, their color turning gray.
“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” he says.
I place my hand on his arm. The warmth of his body flows through my skin and enters my blood.
As much as I push the tears back, they taste salty on my lips.
“It does to me,” I mutter, and his eyes sparkle with emotion again. “I didn’t want to leave, but I was so caught in you. I couldn’t even tell what was real and what was not.”
“So how’s your life now? Is it better?” he asks, bitter.
We lock eyes for a moment as I ponder whether I should be sincere or not.
“Different,” I finally say.
“Different how?”
I faintly smile.
“I get reacquainted with my old self.”
He tears his gaze away from me and looks away. Perhaps to hide a thought or emotion.
“I’m lonely if you really want to know the truth,” I say.
He whips his gaze at me. His eyes turn cloudy as if the blue color starts to bleed.
“Despite all of this?” he says, motioning over his shoulder in the direction of the estate.
“I’m not here for that,” I say. “It never mattered to me.”
“What about all that traveling with your boss?” he tosses at me.
“How do you know about my traveling?”
A rueful grin tilts his lips.
“It’s not that hard. I know his business. Besides, you’ve been in public places, and people saw you,” he says.
My chest tightens.
“You mean the Livingston brothers?”
He smiles and looks down.
“Maybe.”
I dip my gaze as well. Distracted, I run my fingers through the grass.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asks softly after a few more moments of silence.
We raise our eyes at the same time.
“That’s not what I had in mind when I said I’d love to travel. The places I get to see are amazing, but it’s not by far the kind of experience I would’ve loved to have.”
He studies me for a moment before I look away to the horizon.
“I know that it doesn’t mean much to someone like you,” I say quietly, “but there are simple things that I’d love to do. Things that would make me really happy. I’d love to see the sunset in the most remote and wild places on earth. And I’d love to feel the dust on my sun soaked skin. To smell the wind, the earth, the ocean and the leaves. To touch beautiful animals, and to sleep next to a bonfire on a starry night. I long to eat simple food and talk to kind, unsophisticated people. To hear their jokes and see their unaltered love for life streaming in their eyes. I dream of sitting on an old stone sidewalk somewhere in a sleepy Spanish town and hear a man playing his guitar, and perhaps singing as well while a woman pours her passion into a flamenco dance. I want to see and feel and absorb all those beautiful facets of life and stack the memories in my heart. That’s how I’d find the happiness I’ve always wanted. The happiness I talked with you about,” I say softly.
I glance at him, my heart filling with his beautiful eyes. A beautiful expression slides onto his face as if he sees the world I just described. As if he gets a taste of it through the filter of my mind.
No longer cloudy, his eyes look like the summer sky.
“I don’t think there’s much to life, Lex,” I say, smiling ruefully. “I never thought about that. Perhaps because I was so young. But when my dad died a few years back, I got my first clue. He was a happy man. A good man. And he was blessed with my mom and us. He loved us, and we loved him back, and we all hoped that we’d see him getting old with us. It never happened. He worked so hard to make sure we had a decent life, and although he never admitted it, he always felt he hadn’t spent enough time with us. When that tragic accident happened, one stroke of fate wiped everything away. He vanished out of our lives in a mere second. And although he was no longer alive to feel the regret, we felt it. My mom did. And I did. And it made Elsa spin out of control. We didn’t know then, and we never talked about it, but we all missed him, and we all wished we had spent more time with him.”
I pause for a moment.
“Now I’m away from them. And I have a different perspective on things. That’s how I know what makes me happy and what I truly miss...”
His eyes narrow with a nostalgic smile.
“There is only one other thing that would make my happiness perfect... To have someone else to share it with,” I say, and his eyes pulse with life again.
10
DAHLIA
The evening is calm and quiet.
Some of the guests chat over dinner while others enjoy a drink at the bar, or spend time in the spa or sauna.
Once I finish eating, I retreat to my room. Lex hasn’t shown up for dinner, and mixed though
ts fill my mind.
Quietly, I close the door behind me and call the concierge.
The woman at the front desk hasn’t seen him either. Kindly, she checks the parking lot.
“His car is here, Miss. Do you want me to call his room?”
“No, no. It’s okay. Thank you.”
I set my phone on the table and look out the window. Voices lift in the air not far from me. I crack the window open and spot my boss.
A few more men join him on the terrace. They all stand not far from the pool. Women attach to their group as well. One profile catches my eye. Panicked, I do a double take as I recognize Catherine Walker.
Not far from her I spot Nicholas and next to them, I see Lex. Something tightens in my chest.
Soon, they all migrate to the bar. Ashton tears away from the group and heads inside. I peel away from the window, grab a robe and a towel and head to the bathroom.
Someone knocks on the door.
I drop everything on the chair and head to the entrance. I swing the door open.
“Everything okay?” asks my boss, giving me a quick once over.
“Um, yes. Why?”
“You left early.”
“You said you wanted me in the office early in the morning.”
“Yeah. About that...” he says and walks inside.
I step back to accommodate him, my eyes connecting with his.
“I pushed the meeting up to ten o’clock. I wanted to make sure you and the guests have enough time to get back.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be there on time for the meeting,” he says, checking his designer watch.
“Are you spending the night here?” I ask.
“Yeah, yeah...” he says, somewhat distracted.
Another knock on the door makes us both swivel our heads in that direction.
“Are you expecting someone?” he asks.
“No.”
Not that it’s his business.
He gets first to the door and swings it open. A silent gasp rolls from my lips as Lex fills my view.
If by any chance he is surprised to find my boss here, he sure conceals it well. He gives me a quick glance before he starts talking to my boss.
“Catherine has a few questions for you,” Lex says to Ashton who quirks an eyebrow at him.
“Sure. I’ll be there in a moment,” Ashton says.
Lex doesn’t move.
My boss quickly gets the clue and whips his gaze to me.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he says to me and smoothly pulls away.
Frozen, I watch one man leave as the other walks in.
Lex locks the door behind him.
Biting my lip, I push back a smile. He pivots to me, his lips pressing together as he suppresses a grin.
“What are you doing?” I ask softly.
From inside his suit jacket, he pulls out a bottle of wine and two long stem glasses. My eyes widen with surprise.
He walks across the room and places everything on the small table sitting by the window. Silent, I watch him taking his jacket off. His sleeves are cuffed up which makes me think he only had the jacket on to hide the bottle.
He pulls the chair out for me and swings his gaze to me. Inviting. I walk to him and take a seat.
Glancing at me from time to time, he uncorks the bottle of wine and fills the glasses. Slowly, I let my gaze roam over his face, taking him in from his magnetic eyes to his perfectly drawn full bottom lip.
He wears a pastel blue shirt and dark suit pants.
My eyes linger on his chest before they slide down to his hands and fingers. He hands me my glass and takes a seat across from me.
We clink glasses.
“What are we drinking to?” I ask, watching him over the rim.
He briefly locks my eyes, his lips curving into a mysterious smile.
“Your happiness,” he says.
My cheeks start burning.
We both take a sip. It’s a red wine with a rich bouquet.
“Were you playing tricks on my boss?” I ask as I set my glass on the table.
“No,” he says and licks his lip.
My gaze stalls on his mouth.
“He has no business being here at night,” he says with a categoric voice.
“It’s only nine o’clock.”
“Same thing.”
I take another sip, pushing back a chuckle.
“Were you cock-blocking him?” I ask, grinning playfully.
He quirks an eyebrow at me.
“Would I have a reason to?” he asks, serious.
He’s actually waiting for an answer.
“No,” I say quietly.
“How is he as a boss?” he asks.
I sense him a bit tense.
“I think you know him pretty well.”
“I know the man. And the business partner.”
He dips his lip in his drink. He takes another swig and runs the tip of his tongue on his upper lip again.
“He’s good,” I say, distracted.
I flick my eyes up.
“He lets me have a boyfriend,” I toss at him jokingly.
He smiles amused.
“Does he?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“And...? Have you found one?”
I sway my head side to side.
“No. I was never looking for one...”
He nods softly in agreement and looks down at his glass, a soft grin creasing his lips. I push the small lamp to the side and light up a few candles. A soft glow veils his face.
His eyes sparkle in the dimness.
“But I always loved how you kept everybody at a distance,” I say.
He chuckles softly.
“Hmm...” he mutters.
The voices on the terrace sound louder, woven with laughter, drawing my eyes to the window.
“What’s her story?” I ask as Catherine Walker comes into view.
She talks and smiles, swooning over none other than my boss.
Lex glances to the side as well, his lips slowly curving into a knowing smile.
“It worked,” he says, taking them in.
“What are you talking about?”
He looks at me.
“I always thought they make a cute couple,” he says.
I start laughing.
“Have you planned all this?” I ask.
He gives me a smug grin.
“No, you didn’t,” I say, my voice lined with disbelief.
A sly smile curls his lips.
“To keep him occupied?” I ask, shooting him an incredulous look.
“Both of them,” he says after he drinks more wine.
“I thought you liked her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Everything. And she sure likes you.”
“As much as she likes him now,” he says, motioning to them over his shoulder.
“You’re good at this,” I say, admiration beaming in my voice.
He quietly chuckles.
“I didn’t want to become that good at it. It’s just that I’ve been doing it for a long time.”
“What about him?”
“He’s a big boy, and even better than her at this game, and I’m sure she’s gonna give him a good time.”
“How do you know all that?” I ask the loaded question.
Parting his lips, he flashes his pearly teeth.
“Do you know her that way?” I ask with a softer voice, smiling cunningly.
He locks my eyes and purses his lips, his grin spreading all the way up on to his chiseled cheekbones.
“I don’t need to have her in my bed to know,” he finally says, and I feel relieved. “Why are you so panicked because of her?” he asks.
“I’m not,” I mutter.
The heat of a blush spreads across my cheeks, disagreeing with my words.
Cocking his head to the side, he throws me an incredulous look.
“She has a lot of power,” I say, trying
to exonerate myself.
“And?”
“And she’s beautiful.”
“Is that why you find her intimidating?”
“Yeah. Possibly.”
“What makes you think you don’t have what she has or perhaps even more?”
“I don’t have her power,” I say with conviction.
He studies me for a moment, his blue eyes streaming a soft, warm smile.
“Power never comes in only one shape or form. There’s power in big things and small things. Power threads through everything. What makes you think you lack power?”
I stay quiet, musing over his words.
“If you ask me, you have more power than her,” he says. “And way more depth,” he adds.
A good feeling starts pouring over me.
Silence falls between us again as he stares vacantly at his glass while my eyes follow the slow motion of his fingers up and down the delicate stem.
“Remember when I told you we need to find our own answers before we know if there can be a common path ahead of us,” he says softly and my gaze lifts and meets his eyes.
Clenching my jaw, I push back my emotion and nod.
“You got your answers, and I found mine.”
He stays quiet for a moment before he continues.
“You were so affected by what you saw that night in James Sexton’s house. And I don’t blame you. But in a way, I am glad that things have unfolded that way. There were many times I asked myself why I felt for her the way I did. Why was I so hung up on her? I like her, and she likes me, but we both knew that James was her man. She loves him deeply, and he loves her just the same. He’s like a brother to me, and having feelings for her made me feel like shit. Luckily, he understood. He might’ve even had an explanation for why I felt the way I did. But I, on the other hand, was completely blind.”
He looks down and lets out a sad chuckle.
“It wasn’t real love as you were tempted to think for a brief moment. She came into our lives when both of us, James and I, were ready to meet a woman like her. But we didn’t know all that at the time. Perhaps we even took it lightly, and that’s how we got tangled with her. Quickly and inescapably. She was his woman from the very first moment. I knew it, and yet I couldn’t stop feeling for her the way I did. And it wasn’t because I loved her or I wanted to steal her away from him, but because I needed someone like her. She fed my craving for a moment, and what I felt for her was real. But a lot of it was my imagination and my longing for that kind of connection with a woman like her. Sadly, this has not become clear to me until you left. Rain never had my heart. And you didn’t get only the crumbs. You got everything I could’ve given you at that moment. And it was way more than I had given to any other woman. That’s all it was. I didn’t lie to you or tried to fool you into falling for me. I was simply caught in the shadows of the past, and I wandered, lost, looking for my way out. At the same time, I intimately knew how you felt for me and I didn’t want to be the man who smashed and killed your heart. That’s why I kept you guessing in a way, but that wasn’t my intention. I only wanted to protect you. ”