“Why?”
Kaylie didn’t answer.
Dr. Marsden waited.
“Then I could have hated him,” Kaylie admitted. “Instead, I thought she drove him away after we went away to school.” Is that really what I’m thinking? That’s awful. She looked up into Dr. Marsden’s compassionate eyes. “I was so mad at him for leaving, and she still didn’t tell me about him and the other woman until months later. She protected him.”
“Why did she tell you about the affair?”
“I pushed and pushed. I was so angry about my dad that I started to blame her for his leaving, and I guess I pushed too hard one day, because she was crying and blurted it out.” Kaylie paused to swallow the lump that was threatening to stop her from speaking altogether. “She blurted it out. I don’t think she meant to.”
“And then you thought she was weak, for having stayed.”
Kaylie lowered her eyes to the floor, her heart heavy with the memories she wanted to push away.
“Kaylie, you have every right to feel that way. But let me play devil’s advocate here for just a moment. Have you ever thought that maybe it took courage and strength to stay for all those years? To protect you and your sister? And to take it a step further, by keeping that information from you after their divorce, she was allowing you to still adore your father for the man you thought he had always been until you gave her no choice but to stand up for herself.”
“You sound like Danica,” Kaylie huffed. She waved her hand like none of it mattered, but the truth was, it mattered too much. It was her fault that her mother had told her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. But Danica says that all the time, that Mom was strong, not weak.”
“I’m not conferring with Danica. I’m talking with you. I can see why you think she was weak. That’s a natural inclination. You’re protective of her. You don’t like that she was hurt for all those years.”
“I felt like she was blindsided.”
Dr. Marsden nodded. “I’m sure you did. But your mother made a conscious decision that she thought was best for all involved, and you might never know why she made that decision. Have you asked her?”
“Yes,” Kaylie answered quickly. Then she corrected herself. “No. I…we…I think I accused, but never really asked.”
“Maybe you should.”
Kaylie nodded. This was far harder than she’d thought it might be. She’d have to confront her mother after all. “Isn’t there a magic something that you can give me—a mantra, a guidebook—something that will help me?”
Dr. Marsden laughed. “I wish there was. It sounds to me like you are every bit as smart as your sister, and there’s no question about your efficiency or your ability to focus. And determination? You’re here, and that takes determination. Therapy is not easy.”
“Thank you.” Kaylie’s voice didn’t sound like her own. Her words came out as a whisper, hidden under an enormous heft of gratitude for telling her something she’d needed to hear for far too long.
“It sounds like you might need to work on your confidence a bit, but it also sounds like that might come from growing up in your sister’s rather large shadow. And you know, Kaylie, you have the power to not only change what others think of you, but you have the power to change what you think of yourself, and that, my dear, is the place to start.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Max fell asleep on the plane with her head leaning on Chaz’s shoulder. He was tired enough to sleep, but worry kept him awake. He hadn’t heard back from Cooper yet about how to handle things with Lea, and he began to wonder if he would ever be rid of her once and for all. He hated that he’d ever allowed himself to get roped into her aggressive sexual manipulations in the first place.
He looked at his reflection in the window against the dark sky. The man he saw looking back at him was not one he was proud of. Lea was like a noose around his neck, and if he’d only been honest with Kaylie in the first place, she never would have worried. It dawned on him that Kaylie hadn’t mentioned how she knew about Lea. Chalk up one more thing to worry about.
The captain came on the loudspeaker announcing their descent, startling Max awake.
“Sorry,” she said sleepily. A few strands of hair had sprung free from their elastic band, giving her a messy librarian look.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you slept.”
“Didn’t you?” She stifled a yawn.
He shook his head.
“Worried?”
“More than I care to admit.” He tightened his seat belt. Max did the same. “Max, I’m really glad you came with me. This would have been a much more painful trip had I been alone.”
“I’d never send you to the wolves alone. I learned my lesson two years ago.”
“You were at the festival two years ago,” he reminded her.
“Yeah, but I left your side for just long enough for her to swoop in and sweep you off your feet. I’d seen the way she’d been looking at you. She made no effort to hide the fact that she wanted you.” She smiled up at him. “Never again. I’ve learned my lesson.”
The plane touched down and they followed the streetlights, heading toward the parking lot.
“I need to get my car from the Village,” Max reminded him.
“Do you want to tell me why you had your bag in the trunk of your car?”
“I did that the night before. You asked me that the night I drove you home, but I guess you were a little drunk. Besides, don’t you know by now that I’m a little neurotic about being prepared?”
“Or maybe you thought you’d meet a guy and get lucky at Taylor’s Cove?” Chaz teased.
“Oh, yeah, ’cause I’m one of those girls, and because so many hot guys hang out at a bar that’s known for hosting bikers and old men?” She smirked. “How many times have I hooked up with a guy in all the time you’ve known me?”
Chaz thought about it, and the more he thought, the more he was sure that he’d never heard her talk about a boyfriend. “I’ve never heard you even talk about a guy.”
“Nope. Anyway, if my car’s out of your way, I can take a cab.”
“Right, after you saved me from the claws of Lea? No way. Get in.” Chaz was mindlessly running through his guy friends, wondering if any of them would be right for Max.
“Get that look off your face,” Max said. “I don’t need any introductions.”
“I guess you do know me.” He laughed. Driving back toward town picked up Chaz’s spirits. He pulled out his phone and Max reached for it.
“No way am I gonna let you kill me in some crazy, fatigued, texting and driving accident. Tell me what to text.”
“Okay, okay. I was just gonna tell Kaylie I was on my way. It can wait till we get to the Village.”
Max was already texting.
He shook his head. Little Miss Efficient.
A moment later the phone vibrated. “She’s quick.” Max read the message. “Looks like you’re in trouble.”
“Why?” What now?
“She said she’s got something to tell you. Didn’t you already clear the air?”
Chaz sighed. “Yes. Shit. Did she tell you how she found out about Lea? I didn’t ask her, and now I’m worried. Lea’s going after a piece of the festival. I need to make sure Kaylie knows everything.”
“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.”
“Not me,” he said.
“Just be gentle, you know? Don’t tell her about how I had to practically drag the two of you out of bed when you hooked up with the dragon lady. That’s so embarrassing.” She looked out the window.
“I’d never tell her that, and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have been put in that position. That was thoughtless of me.” A sly smile crept across his lips. “It was fun, though.”
“You’re a pig.”
When they pulled up beside Max’s car, Chaz put the car in park and turned toward Max. “Listen, I haven’t really been myself the last few days. I don’t usually drink so
much.”
“I know. I knew when I saw you in Taylor’s Cove that something wasn’t right. You and Kaylie are usually glued at the hip. I can’t remember the last time I saw you out on the town at all, much less without her.”
Chaz nodded solemnly. “Thanks again, Max. You really are a great employee.” He watched her climb from the car with a look of disappointment on her face. He grabbed her hand before she closed the door. “Friend, Max. You’re the greatest friend, and I really do appreciate it.”
Chaz opened the door to the chalet, feeling like he’d been gone a month instead of just a few days. He felt his shoulders relax. Home. So much had transpired that he could barely think straight. Kaylie was the only clear thought he had. He missed her more than he ever thought he could miss someone.
The smell of Kaylie filled the air. Flowers. Happiness. Love. He dropped his bags in the foyer. Candles shone brightly on the countertop that separated the dining room from the kitchen, and freshly picked flowers stood tall and beautiful on the dining room table. Kaylie was fast asleep on the couch, her belly arching across the wide base of cushions. His heart warmed as he knelt beside her and brushed her hair from her cheeks. He kissed her forehead, then slid onto the couch and wrapped his arms around her.
Kaylie nuzzled into him. The heady scent of her perfume drew his lips to her neck, and he felt her body respond. She opened her eyes and smiled, forehead to forehead, their baby between them.
“You’re home,” she said sleepily.
“I’m home.”
“I’m sorry.” She spoke fast, as if she desperately needed him to hear her. “I’m gonna figure out how to be better. I promise.”
He touched her cheek. “Kaylie—”
She put her finger to his lips. “Not for you. For me. I’m going to a therapist. I’m going to figure out my own stuff, so our baby doesn’t have to deal with my baggage.”
Chaz had never felt love the way he did at that moment. Every inch of him ached to taste her, to swallow the talk he knew they needed to have and just make love to her until neither one could remember the pain of the last few days. But he’d done enough procrastinating. Kaylie was his fiancée, the woman he wanted to trust him, and in order to do so, he needed to know he’d done everything possible to make things right.
“I want you so badly,” he admitted, “but I want to talk about what went on first.”
Kaylie closed her eyes for a second, touching his chest. “We could fool around and then talk.” She ran her finger down his shirt to the waist of his pants with a wanton look in her eye.
“I know we could, but it will be so much better after.” He sat up, then took her hand and helped her get comfortable as well.
“Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I guess I was really upset when that woman called. She made it sound like you two were together, and between Max’s brush and her sock, I just lost it.”
“I’m sure she did it on purpose, Kaylie. As I said on the phone, she was doing everything she could to drive a wedge between us.”
“The way she spoke sent me—it sent me right back to the call from my mother about my dad and his affair, and all that hatred came rushing back. Hatred toward my father and anger toward Mom. I know I jumped to conclusions and I’m so sorry that I misdirected that anger at you. How could I have been so stupid?” She dropped her apologetic eyes to her lap.
He lifted her chin with his finger so they were eye to eye. “You are anything but stupid, Kaylie. You went into protective mode—protecting yourself and the baby. I could never fault you for that. I do wish you had let me explain first, but you had every right to be mad. I had kept something from you. It was me who was stupid. I should have told you about Lea when we first met, but I was afraid. I thought you’d worry every time the festival came around, and I swear to you, on everything on this earth that I cherish…” He touched her stomach. “And on our baby that has yet to be born, I would never, ever, cheat on you. Lea was a mistake, nothing more.”
“But…why would she do that if it was…what was it? A fling, or were you in love with her?”
He watched her swallow hard and squeeze her thighs with her hands. He hated to see her readying herself for something hurtful. He took her hand in his.
“It was anything but love.”
“But you told me that you were never really a one-night-stand guy.”
“And I told you the truth. Lea was the only person I had ever done something like that with. She had been a sponsor for years, each year sponsoring a little bigger chunk of the festival, and through the years, she flirted, but I didn’t pay much attention. That year, she was relentless, not that there is any excuse for any of it. But she pulled out all the stops and I just…” He paused to take a deep breath. “I gave in. And we had a weekend tryst—two days, that was it. I won’t lie to you, Kaylie. It was all about sex. Nothing more. She wanted more, and on the second evening she started telling me how to do business and trying to weasel her way into how I ran the festival. She became clingy and aggressive, and when I noticed she was disrespectful to me, and then Max and the staff, I broke it off. I promise you, Kaylie, love was never even an option. Honestly, like wasn’t really, either. It was just sex.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Kaylie asked with tears in her eyes.
“No, but it is the truth.” He closed his eyes, knowing he was digging a hole, but also understanding that honesty was the only way to heal their relationship and move forward. “Kaylie, you told me your background, and I know you get it, and I know it doesn’t make it better. The one thing you can be certain of is that I will never make that mistake again. Look at me.” He waited for her to look into his eyes. “When I met you, I knew my life was complete. You are the woman I love. You are the only woman I ever want to love.”
“I do know that,” she said. “You could have told me about her before, when we told each other about our pasts.”
He nodded. “I know that now, and I’m truly sorry. I was so ashamed by what I’d done. I felt used and dirty. Never before had I shirked my responsibilities for something so meaningless, and I never have since.”
“I still don’t get why she’s coming after you now.”
“Because she wasn’t over me, I guess. I don’t really believe that’s the whole story, though. I think she’s just crazy. I mean, who pretends to buy a business and calls a man’s wife pretending to having been intimate with him?” He shook his head. “Max thinks she’s just obsessed and feels like if she can’t have me no one will.”
“Then do we have to worry?” She put her hand on her belly.
Chaz shook his head. “No. Cooper is checking into things, but he said we can’t get a restraining order because she’s not outright harassing us. My mistake was taking the sponsorship and following her orders like a puppy. Her only connection to me was the festival, and now that’s done. Max will never take another call from her. I was worried about the festival, and it was stupid. The festival is a job. You’re my life.” He took her hand again. “What we have is so strong, Kaylie. These last few days were a nightmare, and with your concerns about your job, it was a blip on the radar screen of the many years we’ll have together. I can’t imagine anyone or anything coming between the love we have.”
Kaylie nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I know. And I’m thankful for Max. She called me to make sure I was okay—and I know now that when she said you ended things with Lea, she meant two years earlier. That’s something a sister would do. She’s kind of like your work wife. She takes care of you when I’m not there.”
“Yeah, she does, but not in the way you do.” He kissed her on the lips, and when she pulled him into a deeper kiss he didn’t want to let go, but he had more to say.
When he reluctantly pulled away, she was looking at him with desire in her eyes, and when she spoke, it was almost a whisper. “I get the idea that Max feels safe with us. Like she’s been really hurt somewhere down the line, and she doesn’t want anything to mess
up the little family she has with us.”
“Kaylie.” God he wanted to kiss her again. He didn’t want to talk about Max or Lea or anything else, but he had to finish, and then he’d let down that barrier and devour her. “I wanted to tell you before you went out with the girls, but you were running out and I thought we’d talk when you got back. It was my fault, the whole thing, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you.” His words rushed from his mouth. The faster they were out, the faster he could allow her hand, which was inching up his thigh, to race forward. “And I’m so proud of what you have done. Even during such a stressful time, you kept your strength and your focus, and you found something more within yourself, while I barely made it through each day. I admire you so much, and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I adore you.”
She tucked her hand between his thighs. Even without touching his most sensitive parts, the heat of her hand burned into him and the ache became a throb of need.
“It was you who pushed me, and I was so rude to you. I overreacted when you said that maybe I should write, and the truth is, I have no idea if I want to be barefoot and pregnant or build a career—but I want my options left open.” Her last words left her breathless, and she leaned in closer, her breath on his chin.
“When I see that spark in your eyes, while you’re talking about your career, I want that for you, too. I’d never push you to do anything you didn’t want to. The only thing I want for you is happiness, Kaylie.” He couldn’t stand it. He kissed her hard and then pulled away fast. “I want you to wake up every day and know you’re with a person who adores you and wants to protect you.” He kissed her again and her hand slid up, cupping him through his pants. “I feel that way about you. I wake up and know you love me, and I want that for you.”
She kissed his neck. “Okay, okay, shut up.” Her kiss turned to a hard, tongue-pressing suck. How could he have kept anything from this sweet, delicious woman? He brought her lips to his and she arched in to him as he kissed her deeper, relishing the taste of her. He’d never let her go, and he’d be damned if he’d let someone like Lea come between them. His hand slid down her neck to the crest of her breast and she moaned, a hungry, desperate moan.
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