by Dana Mentink
“What are you talking about?”
“I thought we were partners on this. I thought you and I were, well…”
His expression grew stony and cold. “You thought wrong. If you’re ready, I’ll take you to the captain’s quarters and get you settled. There will be food waiting for you, and if you need anything else, I’ll have either the captain or the mate bring it to you.”
“Don’t you think they have enough to deal with?” she asked flatly.
“They can spare a few minutes for a passenger whose life is in danger. Come on.”
He led the way, barely hesitating to ensure she followed behind. And here Lexie had thought she’d finished crying for the day. What had she done wrong to make him act this way? He felt something for her—she was sure of it. And as much as she’d been resisting, she had to stop denying she felt something, too. She didn’t like it, but her heart didn’t lie.
They walked in silence through the near-empty hallways, most of the passengers now asleep for the night, bellies full of buffet food and minds hopefully quieter despite the ferry’s predicament. Shaun introduced her to the captain, who gave her a brief tour of his quarters, complete with attached lounge and kitchenette. They set her up with a pile of blankets and pillows, and a steely-faced Shaun instructed her to lie down and get some sleep.
And then he left, leaving her alone in a strange room, in a strange place, wondering what on earth she’d done to lose him just when she’d been ready to open her heart.
TWELVE
Shaun leaned against the wall outside the captain’s quarters. Lexie was right—he had promised to keep working together, but that was before someone had been killed. Couldn’t she see that? He cared too much for her to continue putting her life at risk.
The alarm sounded on his walkie-talkie, shaking him out of his contemplations. “Tell me we’ve got something,” he said, cutting right to the chase. The faster they resolved this, the better.
“We have a Roger Howard in the office,” said Parsons. “Copy of the passenger list for you, too.”
“Is he a frequent flier?”
“Eh? He’s a repeat visitor, if that’s what you mean.”
“Great. I’m down the hall, be there in two.” Shaun hooked the walkie-talkie back onto his belt and rubbed his tired eyes. Exhaustion had begun to creep up on him, but that might fix itself if this passenger had useful information. Lexie would want to be a part of this, but she desperately needed rest. As much as it pained him to leave her out of it, he knew she’d keep pushing until she collapsed, a trait he understood far too well. He’d also seen the other side of that kind of drive—the despair that came with realizing no matter how many people he saved, there’d always be someone else in danger. To make even a small dent in repairing the world’s brokenness demanded sacrifice. Time, relationships, personal hopes and dreams…and until Lexie, he’d emphatically believed that truth. Now?
Now he wondered if that really meant he’d been looking in all the wrong places.
Josh had his head poked out the security office door. He stepped out and shut the door behind him as Shaun approached.
“Here’s the list,” Josh said, handing Shaun a stapled pile of paper. “Tim had to take care of another passenger crisis, but asked me to get it to you. Gotta say, the snoop isn’t thrilled about being hauled down here at this hour.”
“He’ll be even less thrilled once we start asking questions.” Shaun suppressed a yawn. “He’s a regular?”
Josh pointed to a highlighted passenger name. “Roger Howard comes through a few times a year. Takes our ferry from North Sydney to Argentia, then heads up the coast to take the Port aux Basques ship back to North Sydney. That one’s a six-hour return trip. Times of departure are too close for him to spend any time in Newfoundland.”
“Port aux Basques? That’s on the southwestern tip, right? Cabot Strait? Some ships were sunk along there by German U-boats during the Second World War.”
Josh’s eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling. “Someone listened during history class.”
Shaun shrugged. “I have a passing interest in military history, you might say.” Not to mention it was part of the job to research the places he traveled to. “Now, the passenger?”
Josh opened the door to reveal a middle-aged gentleman dressed in a rumpled suit, wearing a perturbed expression.
Shaun sat at Parsons’s desk across from the passenger. “Roger Howard? Thanks for meeting with us. I assure you that, despite the hour, it’s for good reason.”
Roger folded his hands on the desk and scowled. “I don’t appreciate being woken at five in the morning and dragged to the security office like a common criminal.”
He’d appreciate it even less if he was the one who’d been hurting Lexie. “From what I hear, there was no literal dragging involved, so let’s stay focused. At least you’ve had some sleep, Mr. Howard, and I didn’t ask you here without cause. Mind telling me what you were doing on a restricted deck around seven last night?”
Roger grunted and leaned back in his chair, straightening his tie. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Think back, Mr. Howard. The engine deck is a passenger-restricted area.”
“Sorry, I was in my cabin.”
“What I think, Mr. Howard, is that you were skulking around to check on your smuggled cargo.”
The man sat bolt upright, smug demeanor falling away. “Smuggled cargo? I did no such thing!”
“But you admit you were on a restricted deck.”
Roger Howard clenched his jaw. He reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a business card and slid it across the desk to Shaun.
“What’s this?” Shaun picked it up, his stomach sinking as he read the card’s writing: Roger Howard, Federal Department of Maritime Occupational Health & Safety.
“I’m a health and safety inspector.” Roger tapped on the desk. “I conduct surprise inspections of Atlantic Voyages ships several times per year. This requires me to be on these restricted decks.”
“And you didn’t think to notify anyone?”
“Announcing my presence could compromise the inspection, giving time to hide or obscure the violations I’m hired to find. It’s a matter of public safety.”
Shaun resisted the urge to pound his head on the desk. A safety inspector? Of course. It made perfect sense. He dreaded breaking the news to Lexie. “If I call the number on this card, can someone at the department vouch for you?”
“Of course.”
Shaun planned to follow up on that as soon as nine o’clock hit and the offices opened. “Mr. Howard, did you notice anything unusual during your inspection?”
Roger huffed and leaned back again. “Other than the door to the engine room being locked so I couldn’t complete my rounds? No. I’ll be trying again today, however.”
Not likely. Shaun tucked the business card in his pocket and tried to hide his disappointment. He’d look into the man’s claims, but Shaun believed him. The man’s reactions seemed genuine, and his statements were easily verifiable.
Unfortunately, this made the lead a dead end. It felt like a weight in Shaun’s gut. Two promising leads had come up cold in as many hours, which meant they were right back to square one.
*
Lexie woke with a crick in her neck and a stiff back. She’d fallen asleep on the couch by accident, having only intended to sit and take a load off for a few minutes. As comfortable as the plush couch was to sit on, it provided a terrible sleeping surface. She sat up and clasped her hands together, stretching in all directions. It didn’t help. Everything still ached.
A clock on the far wall revealed another surprising truth, and Lexie blinked twice, wondering if her vision had suffered, too. No, there were the numbers, plain and clear. Just after four o’clock in the afternoon. No wonder she felt groggy and light-headed—she’d slept almost twelve hours! She needed food and hydration, stat.
As Lexie rubbed the remnants of sleep fro
m her eyes and wondered if the captain’s quarters had a snack basket, reality sank in. If she’d been left to sleep for twelve hours, the icebreaker hadn’t yet arrived. The ship’s passengers were now officially on day two of their sixteen-hour ferry trip, and likely getting more annoyed by the hour. It’d be helpful to have Shaun here to give her an update on the status of their investigation.
No, his investigation, she reminded herself. He’d made that quite clear last night, and she’d been far too tired to resist or argue the point. Well, now she’d had rest, and after some sustenance she’d be ready to get back into the game. Certainly the past twelve hours hadn’t gone entirely without new developments. Maybe Shaun had snapped out of his cold spell, too. Keeping her out of things? Please. She hadn’t come this far and survived this many attacks only to be sidelined.
Lexie stood and stretched her legs, wishing not for the first time that she’d slept in her own room. What she wouldn’t give for her bags and a shower. And her toothbrush. She debated leaving the captain’s quarters, despite Shaun’s plea for her to stay safely inside, but that yearning for cleanliness was satisfied when she realized her bags had been dropped off in the room while she slept.
Forty-five minutes later, Lexie felt mildly refreshed. The shower had helped soothe her aching muscles, though it’d done nothing for her famished insides. Hadn’t Shaun promised to bring food?
Right on cue, the door handle jiggled. Beeps from the outer control pad suggested the visitor was a friendly—or so she hoped. She gave her towel-wrapped hair a final squeeze, unrolled and hung up the towel, grabbed her comb and headed back to the couch.
The door opened, and Shaun poked his head inside. “I heard the shower a little while ago. You’re decent?”
The question made her smile. “I should hope so.”
“Excellent.” He sounded less angst-ridden than when they’d parted ways the night before, but Lexie couldn’t say for sure if she was reading him right. He pushed the door open the rest of the way, revealing a tray laden with a veritable feast. Lexie’s stomach rumbled at the scent of bacon, eggs and toast. A steaming mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice sat in either corner of the tray.
“I thought we were almost out of bacon.” Lexie picked up a slice and inhaled the greasy but oh-so-appealing scent. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“You wouldn’t believe what can be accomplished with a little politeness.” He pointed to the coffee. “One cream. Hope you’re still impressed.”
She was, and felt an odd twinge in her chest at the realization that he’d bothered to remember how she took her coffee. Did his thoughtfulness mean he’d come back to his senses?
Shaun lowered himself onto the other side of the couch, his back stiff. “All joking aside, Lexie, I want to apologize for acting brusque last night. You have to understand, I’ve been working to bring this operation to a close for the past three years.” He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees. “But you’ve got an interest in this, too, and the last thing we need right now is to be distracted by each other. I’m afraid that I’m putting personal feelings before logical actions, and I don’t want an emotional choice to put you in more danger than you’re already in. You’ve been hurt several times already, and I can’t let that happen again.”
How noble of him. Lexie could respect that, in a way—but at the same time, he’d said himself that she had an interest in this investigation. “I’m an adult, Shaun. I understand the risks. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose to be. I took this case on personally through Lead Me Home because I care about Maria and her family, and I want to see them reunited again. I want to see her graduation photos, hear her mother gush about her daughter’s achievements, see her sister’s face light up when they’re reunited. Something I never had.”
Shaun frowned and sat upright. “You know Nikki’s disappearance was not your fault, right?”
Lexie polished off the piece of bacon between her fingers, feeling the rush of blood to her cheeks as nerves took over. “Think about it, Shaun. All three of us were on that trip to Botswana eight years ago. If I hadn’t convinced her to come, she never would have met you, setting the whole thing in motion. That trip was the first cog in the wheel. I started those gears turning by bringing her along. She didn’t want to go. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have befriended you and been rejected when she wanted more, and then she wouldn’t have gone on the rebound and ended up who knows where.”
“People have choices, Lexie. Life is a series of choices. Somewhere along the way, your sister chose to act and react the way she did. Just like I did.” Shaun scooted closer to her on the couch, resting his hand on her knee. The sympathy in his eyes hit her hard. His words weren’t the empty platitudes she’d heard from most people—he’d been there, made poor choices and lived with the consequences. And chose to change, or so he’d told her, but at this point it was becoming harder and harder to doubt him. As far as she knew, Shaun had never lied to her, not once since the day they’d met in Africa. Nikki, on the other hand, had always struggled with the definition of “truth.”
Who was she to believe?
She kept her gaze down, picking at the scrambled eggs with her fork, taking tiny bites. “Do you ever think about her? About what might have happened if you hadn’t brushed her off?”
Shaun leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Honestly? No, I don’t. I thought we’d keep up the friendship, but she made it clear that I wasn’t to contact her or your family ever again, and I respected her wishes. Besides, it’s not healthy to dwell in the past and always wonder ‘what if.’”
Like I am now, she thought. What if she opened the gates and let in the flood of emotion that threatened to drown her after the events of the past day? What if she admitted that she and Shaun had an inexplicable chemistry or even said it aloud? She had a feeling that he just might reciprocate, and the prospect was terrifying. Could she really be falling for him? Could he really have fallen for her?
“You know I’m still looking for her,” Lexie mumbled, grabbing her cup of coffee and gripping it so tightly that her knuckles turned white. “I might find her someday. I won’t give up.”
Shaun nodded. “You don’t strike me as the kind of person who gives up easily. If anyone gets that, it’s me. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
Lexie’s heart both sank and leaped. Obviously Shaun had serious connections, whether he admitted it or not. Harnessing those resources could provide the break she needed to reunite her family, and yet, his offer seemed hasty. Too eager. Lexie swallowed against a rush of disappointment. Had Shaun only offered to help because he regretted not pursuing her sister?
*
Shaun watched with a heavy heart as surprise, hope and disappointment played across Lexie’s face. He hadn’t wanted to give her false hope, but the offer was sincere. It was also somewhat selfish on Shaun’s part, as it meant he’d have to talk to her after they resolved the case on the ferry. And if it also resulted in bringing a smile to her face, well, even better.
Unfortunately, if Lexie hadn’t heard from Nikki in eight years, it was unlikely that there’d be any new contact in the days ahead. His hope was that the CIA had info on her in a database somewhere, especially if Lexie’s theory held true and Nikki had been kidnapped. One trafficking ring was as bad as the next, and sadly, the Wolf was but one blemish in a despicable global industry. On the side of hope, however, stood the equally important knowledge that various agencies around the world had been shutting down kidnappers and their schemes for decades. If anyone had seen her, he’d be able to find out.
So, why had Lexie reacted to the offer as though she’d been stung?
“For a while,” Lexie said, hugging her legs tight against her chest, “I thought she’d up and left because of the kind of person her heartbreak turned her into. That she left and purposefully avoided our attempts to search or contact her. I’m sure now that she simply never had a chance.”
Shaun’s gut seized at the pain in Lexie’s voice. He touched her arm, trying hard to separate his head and his heart, but they were fast becoming entwined for the second time in under twenty-four hours. “I’m taking this man down, and I’m taking his entire operation down with him. Understand? I’m going to do everything I can to free as many people as possible. Today, we start with Maria. Tomorrow, or whenever we get off this ferry, I promise that I will personally use the intel we gather from the Wolf to change the lives of as many people in captivity as possible. We’re going to make a difference one way or another. I know that’s not the same as bringing Nikki back, but God has a plan. Even if we don’t understand it in the present.”
Lexie’s eyebrows lifted at the mention of God’s plan. “Sure He does,” she scoffed, taking another sip of coffee. “I did note, however, that you said we. Does that mean you’re letting me back on the case I came here to do in the first place?”
He had a feeling he’d regret this, but in their few hours apart, he’d missed her constant presence and quiet fortitude. She made him want to be a better agent. A better man. “I stand by my reasons for wanting to keep you safe, but you’re right. You came here to do a job, and we’re the best people to help each other in this situation. Plus, it’s boring out there without you.” He smiled and squeezed her elbow, and to his delight, she reached across and poked his hand.
“Too many men with opinions out there?”
Shaun grinned. “Plus, none of them are as cute as you.”
Lexie laughed and tossed one of the couch’s throw cushions at him. “Well, today’s your day, Shaun Lane, because I refuse to take on any case without an attractive man by my side.”
Shaun let his expression fall. “Guess this is where we say goodbye, then.”
The tension between them momentarily evaporated as Lexie’s genuine laughter broke down the remainder of the wall he’d erected the night before. Her smile was as lovely as he’d imagined it would be, but even lovelier was the woman behind the smile. She’d shown him her heart by revealing the truth of their past, and knowing that Nicola’s disappearance drove her to help others avoid the same pain she felt tugged at his heart in a way he’d never known before.