by Tara Fuller
“Red…what are you doing?”
“What does it look like?” I said, smiling down at the empty-eyed baby.
“You can’t interfere like this,” he whispered. “You have no idea what you’re playing with.”
“He’s just a baby.” I held the baby to my chest and looked back at the mother, who was silently crying, pleading, holding her arms out for the infant. “No one deserves this…”
“He’s not her baby, Gwen,” Easton said, calmly. “Just like that wasn’t my sister in that cave. Put him back and let’s get out of here.”
I ignored him and pulled from his grip, making my way to the mother. The joy sparking to life inside me drove me forward, sensing an outlet. A chance to be set free. Her cheeks were raw and wet with tears. She reached up to wipe them away with the back of her wrist and watched me with rusty hope in her eyes.
I smiled warmly and handed her the baby. She clasped him to her chest and sobbed as she kissed his head.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she cried over and over again.
A sense of relief washed the tension out of my limbs as the joy bled out of me and into her. I took a step back and Easton took advantage, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me away from the demons gathering around us, confused by the act of compassion.
“She’s happy,” I whispered, smiling, as he dragged me away. I could feel featherlight tendrils of joy lifting her up out of the dark. I didn’t think I’d ever feel that here. It felt like the best victory.
Easton glanced down at me, a grave look settling in his eyes. He tried to pull me faster. “She’s not allowed to be happy, Gwen Not here. Not ever again.”
“But—”
“We have to go now,” he said, urgently. “Before—”
“What’s this?” a menacing voice roared. Cutting down smaller demons in his wake, a beast with oily black skin and filmy white eyes shoved his way through the crowd. The ground vibrated and Easton jerked me into the camouflage of the crowd before he could spot us. A heavy cloud of fear moved though the air, choking out the joy I’d created. My breaths began rushing in and out of my lungs too fast, making the world spin around me. A demon shouldered past, pushing me back. A sudden blast of heat seared my leg. When I opened my mouth to scream, Easton slapped his hand over my lips and pulled me off the steam vent. Pain radiated up my leg while tears flooded my eyes. My knees seemed to buckle underneath me, so I sagged against Easton’s chest. He supported my weight and pressed his lips to my ear.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I nodded, understanding that we had to get out undetected, and he moved his hand away.
The demon approached the woman, who cowered down, hunching over to protect the infant in her arms. He laughed at her attempt, and flies spewed from his mouth. As he reached down and plucked the baby from her arms, she screamed, rising up to beat on his chest with her fists.
The baby…no…not the baby. The joy that lived inside me, that ruled me, smothered the pain, forcing me to act. I began to struggle in Easton’s arms.
“No…” I wrenched free of his grasp.
Easton cursed under his breath. “Gwen, don’t!”
I shoved my way back through the crowd and came to an abrupt halt at the edge. The demon grabbed the woman by the hair and held her up for the hungry crowd to see.
“Let you all see what happens when you take peace that doesn’t belong to you!” he growled, then ripped the woman in two. Blood sprayed the crowd and they went into a feeding frenzy, gouging, tearing, biting. Chained souls were plucked from the line like sitting ducks waiting to be fed upon. A dark and angry pain ripped through me, doubling me over, swallowing me down a gullet of darkness into the belly of Hell. Spots danced across my vision. The healing energy of joy inside me fought a losing battle.
It was too much. Too much. Too much. Too mu—
“Snap her out of it!” Scout’s voice hissed somewhere past the darkness. “This place is getting out of control. We need to get out of here, pronto.”
The brunt of it all hit me so powerfully my knees gave out. I felt myself falling, but I was helpless to stop it. It was her…the mother. Even in pieces I felt her pain, the utter desperation, sucking her under, pulling her apart. I felt as if I’d been ripped in half. Before Hell, I’d never known real pain…but oh God…this hurt. It surpassed hurt and dragged me down to a place much darker than that.
“No you don’t.” Easton’s hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me back up against his chest before I hit the ground. His lips brushed my ear, his breath hot and hypnotic. “Listen to me, Gwen. I know it’s bad, but you’re tougher than this. I’ve seen it.”
I whimpered in response, unable to tell him I didn’t feel tough. I didn’t even feel like Gwen. I felt as if Gwen had been left behind and only this body and the pain swallowing it existed.
“Look at me. You’re going to walk away from this place and we’re going to go on. We’re going to get Tyler and we’re going to get you the hell out of here. You’re going to stand up and walk because you are the strongest person I’ve ever met. Understand?”
A ringing sound pierced my eardrum. Light barreled toward me like a freight train as joy wove a path back to consciousness. I blinked at Easton, still unable to speak, but that was enough for him. He nodded and helped me to my feet. I stumbled, but managed to stand with his support. Keeping my hand locked in his, he pulled me through the crowd. Every step away earned me a breath of relief, but it didn’t block out the hellish sounds of the riot behind us.
Chapter 20
Easton
I didn’t look at Gwen. I couldn’t. I felt her shivering against my side, but she was quiet. Too damn quiet. Again, I wondered how I could have agreed to bring her here. She’d only been in existence for seventeen years. Angel or not, she was a freaking kid. She didn’t deserve to be scarred by this place, haunted for an eternity. The rest of us had earned it. But Gwen…she went to battle in the war-torn lands that death left behind. While I reaped the dead, she did the impossible. She sewed together the broken, sad souls of the living.
We barreled forward a few more blocks, taking advantage of the distraction Gwen had unintentionally caused. The line of chained souls had started to fight back, creating broken chinks where the demons had ripped them free from the line. We slipped through an opening undetected and headed for the outskirts of the city.
Scout nudged my arm with the handle of his blade and nodded toward a string of abandoned rail cars. Black vines weaved a slippery barrier over the broken railroad tracks, coming to life under our boots like serpents, reaching and coiling in an attempt to drag us down into their grip. I pulled my boot free and stopped at a rust-colored rail car, holding up two fingers to motion Scout to go first. He jumped in ahead of me, disappearing into the darkness inside to do a sweep. A minute later he poked his head out.
“All clear,” he said.
I nodded and hoisted Gwen up. Scout reached down to meet me and pulled her into the car. Inside, ash coated the floor of the rail car and a mass of blooderflies clung to the ceiling. I sank down in front of Gwen, and Scout stood over us, rubbing the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable.
“Is she going to be okay?”
Gwen blinked back at me with empty eyes. I wiped my thumb over her cheek to rub away the blood. “She feels it. Their pain. The loneliness. The torture. All of it.”
Scout’s eyes grew wide. “And she’s made it this far?”
“She’s stubborn.”
Gwen blinked at me and her brows pulled together. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”
I exhaled and managed a weak smile for her. “I didn’t think you were. It took you a while to come back from that one.”
She looked down at her trembling hands and gasped. “Is that…is that her blood?”
“She’s already dead,” I said. “They’ll have her reanimated to start it all over again by the end of the day. What happened…it wasn’t your fault. It’s
just the way things work here.”
She pulled in a deep, ragged breath and frantically began to try to wipe it off on her pants, rubbing until her skin looked angry and raw. A sob ripped free of her throat, and her shoulders hunched as she collapsed in on herself.
“I did this,” she choked out. “I did it. I did—”
“Hey…” I grabbed her hands and held them against my chest. She tried to jerk away from me, but I held on, not wanting her to hurt herself. She was strong. In more ways than she realized. Strong in a way I’d never be.
“I want it off,” she said. “I need it off! Please. I feel sick. I just want it off!”
I looked behind me, searching, and Scout tossed me my pack. He raked his fingers through his curls, eyes softening as he looked Gwen over. “I…uh…I’m going to go take a look around. See if I can find a quieter route. I’ll give you guys some time.”
I unzipped my pack and nodded, conveying my thanks for the privacy with a silent look. He hopped out of the car, and I was alone with Gwen. Not the safest place for me to be. Outside these walls may have held countless dangers for most…but for me the biggest threat was sitting across from me with wide, innocent eyes. I was in too deep with this girl already. Deep enough I didn’t think I’d ever find my way back out. This thing between Gwen and me, this insurmountable, necessary, consuming thing…it felt inevitable.
I looked down at this beautiful creature who had managed to turn my soul inside out in a matter of days. She shook so hard her bones rattled like wind chimes. I pulled my shirt off and soaked a corner of it with water, then began to wipe the blood from her face. Once I was done there, I started on her hands, cleaning away the death cloaking her glowing skin. I could feel her gaze on me, questioning. I focused on eliminating the last drops of blood from her skin. I did not focus on how badly I wanted to keep touching her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I lifted my chin to meet her gaze, and the sadness there made it impossible to look away. I wanted it gone. I wanted the girl who giggled at bad jokes and saw beauty in everything around her. I wanted Gwen.
“You’re welcome.”
“You want him to take me back, don’t you?” she asked, voice broken and weak. “I’m slowing you down. You could have had Tyler already if it weren’t for me, connection or not.”
I didn’t answer, and she looked away, lifting her hand to wipe a lone tear from her cheek.
“You should. Someone should lock me away, so I can’t hurt anyone else. If I’m lucky that’s all Father will do when I get home.”
“That’s a pretty stupid thing to stay for such a smart girl.”
She jerked away, anger flaring in her eyes, and stood on shaky legs. “It’s not stupid. It’s the truth. Something’s wrong with me. Angels don’t do the things I do. They don’t interfere and get pure souls sent to Hell. They don’t break the rules. They don’t want the things I want. They don’t want, period! And they certainly don’t fall in love with…with…”
I bolted to my feet and backed her against the wall. Her eyes widened, and her breath hitched. “With what, Red? They don’t fall in love with what? Say it.”
She shook her head, refusing to answer. I braced my hands on the wall of the rail car on either side of her head and lowered my face so we were sharing the same breath. My heart screamed in my chest with things unsaid. Things that needed to be said.
“They don’t fall in love with someone like me,” I said.
She boldly held my gaze, keeping her hands balled into fists at her sides. I should’ve given her some space. I didn’t. I wanted to hear her say it. I needed to hear her say it if I had a chance in hell of letting her go.
“They don’t fall in love with someone who is incapable of loving them in return,” she finally said.
I closed my eyes, hating what she was saying and the truth behind it, wishing I could be what she needed, what she deserved. Warm, soothing fingers touched my face, and I opened my eyes to find her watching me warily. “You don’t want to be loved by me, Red,” I said, solemnly. “I live in the dark. I’m always going to live in the dark. You follow me far enough and you’ll never make it back to the light. And you, angel…you belong in the light.”
She pressed her lips together, but her eyes said so much. So much she’d already laid out for me. So much I’d rejected.
I belong with you. I love you.
I kissed her. Hard and hungry and desperate for what was inevitably going to be taken away. I didn’t want to love someone who was going to be stolen from me again. I didn’t want to love anyone. Yet here I was. Loving her. Consuming her. Ruining her. And I couldn’t stop. I gripped her hips and hauled her up so her legs wrapped around my waist. Nothing had ever felt this good. This right. This wrong. Eventually I’d have to walk away, let her go. But not right now. Right now I was content to get lost in the mind-melting way her soft body pressed against me in all the right places. In the way her lips moved beneath mine, needing this just as much as I did. Her hands slipped up my neck and into my hair, pulling me closer to Heaven, closer to my end. I let her. I would have given her the world just then if I could have. But I only had me, and if that’s what she wanted, then I was hers.
Completely, irreversibly hers.
I was vaguely aware of the sounds outside. That only a thin wall of rusted metal separated us from the horrors of Hell. That Scout would be back at any moment. This was not the place to be doing this. Gwen sank her teeth into my bottom lip as if she were tasting it, and those vague thoughts evaporated.
Giving in to the need coiling around the base of my spine, I shifted my hips over hers. Gwen sucked in a sharp breath, letting out a whimper that I caught between my lips. Heat sparked between us and caught fire, and everything Gwen burned through my very being. I groaned against her mouth, loving how she came to life under my touch. Normally the only thing people did when I touched them was die. Not Gwen. She lit up under my hands, my heat. She tentatively pressed back against me, let her hands slide down my spine, exploring, testing, driving me fucking crazy. I growled and tore my lips from hers. If we didn’t stop now, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
God…I didn’t want to stop.
I pressed my forehead against hers, unwilling to sever our connection completely as we fought to catch our breath.
“I thought you said that wouldn’t happen again,” she said.
“I lied.”
She blinked up at me, lips swollen, face flushed. Her hair was a fiery mess from my fingers. I reached up and smoothed it away from her face. I didn’t know what to say to her. What could I say? She owned me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
Because you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Because I fucking love you. Because by some miracle of God you love me.
“Because—”
“Am I interrupting here?” Scout’s voice stopped my admission cold in its tracks. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, collecting myself. Jesus…what had I been about to say to her?
Something you know nothing about, jackass.
I pushed away from Gwen, avoiding the disappointment in her gaze. Raking my fingers through my hair, I turned my attention to Scout, who was staring at me with a knowing smirk on his face.
“What did you find?” I asked, impatient.
“Nothing nearly as interesting as what was happening in here, I’m sure.”
Gwen’s cheeks turned crimson and she ducked behind the curtain of her hair. I scowled at Scout as I scooped my pack off the floor, brushing the ash off it.
“That’s the only free pass I’m giving you.” I pointed my scythe at him. “Next time I shove this up your ass.”
“No need to get kinky.” He held his hands up and grinned. “I found a way through. It’s going to take a little longer, but there is no way we’re getting through town now. Not with her, anyway.”
In other words, a horde of demons knew about her, and were looking. My blood chilled at t
he thought of what would happen if they caught up with us. The look on Gwen’s face said her thoughts were in line with mine.
“All right then.” I held my hand out to Gwen, and she hesitantly laced her delicate fingers through my rough ones. “Lead the way.”
Chapter 21
Gwen
For a brief, disorienting moment, I fooled myself into thinking I wasn’t in Hell at all. The industrial park–type buildings around us mimicked the ones on earth in a disturbing way. The blistering cold was another kind of torture altogether. Pinpricks of pain scattered over every inch of my skin, and my teeth chattered so hard my jaw began to ache. I rubbed my arms, trying to create enough friction to thaw my blood. All around us, bloody snowflakes floated down from the sky. Normally I would have been thrilled at the opportunity to finally feel fluffy white wetness against my skin, but this was different. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at the cherry-red flakes falling all around me or think about who or where they came from.
“Gwen?”
I opened my eyes at the sound of Scout’s voice. His blond brows were pinched together, concern coloring his soft features. He really was handsome. Not in the dark, addictive way Easton was. No…Scout still had an innocence within him. He may have been attempting to rid himself of it at every turn, but it was still there. A sunny yellow core that glittered through his pores.
“Yes?” I finally said.
“You still with me?” He looked worried and uncomfortable, like he wasn’t accustomed to thinking about how the person he was in charge of guarding was feeling. I didn’t know what to say to him. How to look at him. He was the one who brought Tyler into this place. I rubbed my arms and dropped my gaze to my frozen boots, trying to remember my roots. I was still an angel. Angels forgave.
“I’m fine,” I muttered, wondering what was taking Easton so long. I peered through the long dark shadows the rows of enormous rusted-out buildings created. We’d been at this for hours, hours that felt like days. Easton would go ahead of us to scope out the kaleidoscope of dilapidated metal buildings. Scout would babysit me. And when all was clear, they brought me in close enough to attempt to get a feel for Tyler’s presence.