by Tara Fuller
Easton’s body twisted and contorted, the light in his eyes going dim. Panic rose up inside me, clawing and screaming for me to do something.
“Stop!” I cried out, throwing myself in front of Easton. “Father, stop! This was all my fault. I forced him to escort me down. I wanted to save Tyler, and we did. We did it. He’s in Heaven where he belongs.”
“You think I’ve forgotten your hand in this, Gwendolyn?” He turned his attention to me. “You think I’ve forgotten the position you’ve put me in? If you were anyone else, I would have the Almighty take your wings. Was your human worth your destiny?”
I blinked up at the man before me, unable to speak through the fear. No…my father would never threaten me like this. He would never take my wings. At least I had never believed he would. But now… I stumbled back a step and my hands drifted up to my now-quiet chest, wondering where the man was who allowed me to star-watch from the floor of his office.
“My wings…” I whispered, horrified. “You would take my wings?”
“What kind of leader will I look like if I let this go unpunished? I can’t afford that kind of weakness, Gwendolyn.”
Behind me, a feral sound tore up out of Easton’s throat as he forced himself to his feet, fighting to gain control over Father’s influence on him. He limped to my side, and I grabbed hold of his arm before he could go tumbling down again.
“You’re entitled to your wrath,” he said through gritted teeth. “But the fault is mine. All of it. If you need to make an example out of someone to make yourself look good, then I’ll take her punishment and mine. Torture me. End me. But you will not touch her. I can’t let that happen.”
“Easton, no…” I clutched his arm and shook my head frantically. “I won’t let you do that. If he wants my wings he can have them. They’re not worth losing you.”
“It’s done, Red,” he said, staring down his leader before him, wincing as another jolt of pain lanced through him.
Father dropped his hand to his side, and Easton slumped into my arms, breathing hard. I stroked his hair back from his face, infusing him with comfort and love and everything good he deserved. When I looked up at Father, he was watching us with fear and awe in his eyes.
“No, Gwendolyn…” He took a step back and his face paled. “Not him.”
He knew. He knew I loved him. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to hide it from him. I didn’t want to hide it.
“Why not him?” I asked.
Father looked back and forth between us. “He’s tainted.”
“Tainted?” I laughed, bitterly. “No. He is compassionate, and brilliant, and brave, and selfless. He is a soul worth saving. But tainted? If there is anything tainted about him, Father, it’s the fact that he works for you. You could have redeemed him. Healed him. Instead you sentenced him to an eternity of Hell!”
“Gwen…don’t.” Easton touched my arm.
“No. He needs to know who you really are,” I said. Then back to my father, “He doesn’t belong down there.”
“And where exactly does he belong?” Father asked, his voice a dangerous rumble.
“With me.”
“Someone like him… He’s not capable of loving, Gwendolyn,” he said.
Easton rose on unsteady legs, jaw tense. “I love her.”
Father’s eyes narrowed on Easton, an icy glare that caused a shiver to run down my spine. “You don’t deserve her.”
Easton swallowed hard, but didn’t back down. “I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. She makes me better. She could make the world better just by existing in it if you’d let her. You want me to stay away from her? Then end me. Do it now, because I don’t know any other way. Trust me. I’ve tried.”
I linked my arm through his, wondering how I could ever love him more than I did in that moment. When Easton looked at me, he didn’t see a naive, innocent angel. He looked at me and saw the girl I wanted to be. If Father wanted to tear us apart, he’d have to do it literally. I wasn’t letting go. I wasn’t letting him send Easton back to that house of horrors. Father shook his head and paced along the cloud wall, thinking. His emotions were too jumbled to read. Then again, maybe he was doing that on purpose. He always hated it when I read him, the way he was feeling.
He finally came to a stop in front of us, his eyes cold and disapproving when they landed on our hands clasped together.
“You’re an angel, Gwen,” he said, simply. “You can’t be with a Hell’s reaper. It won’t be accepted. And whether you want to acknowledge it or not, there are more hurdles to cross than just my approval.”
“Then I won’t be an angel anymore,” I said.
Easton’s eyes went wide and he released me. “Jesus, Gwen…no. Absolutely not. It’s who you are. It’s who you were meant to be. You can’t, you won’t do that for me.”
Electricity crackled around us, forcing our attention to Father. He looked over Easton, eyes glowing.
“You want to give up what the Almighty has given to you…for him?” Disgust curled his lip. “So be it, Gwendolyn. Your wings in exchange for your reaper.”
I didn’t have time to register what he’d said before the pain began. It wasn’t just pain, it was a piece of myself being ripped away. I screamed out in horror and fell forward as the right half of my back began to tear. He was actually doing it…he was taking my wings. Betrayal delivered a swift blow to my heart, shattering everything I knew of love.
“Is he worth this?” Father shouted, voice trembling. “Vow to stay away from him, and this all can stop, daughter. Vow it!”
Another tear, and I screamed out again. “No!”
I was vaguely aware of Easton’s hands on me. His voice. I reached up blindly, searching for his face, and felt his fingers close around my wrist.
“Tell him, Gwen,” he cried. “Tell him you’ll stay away. I’ll stay away, you bastard! Just stop! Send me to Hell, annihilate me, anything! I’ll do anything!”
All at once the tearing stopped, but the pain still throbbed inside me. I blinked at the stars swimming beneath me, trying to right the world around me. I closed my eyes and sensed them. My wings…they were still there. Wounded, but whole. Easton slipped his arms around me and pulled my limp body into his lap.
“Gwen, talk to me,” he pleaded, brushing the hair back from my face.
I looked up to find Father staring down at us, absolute horror making his eyes look hollow. He fell to his knees and reached for me. I flinched and he winced.
“Gwendolyn…” he whispered. “You love him? You see good in him?”
I nodded and clutched Easton’s arm, unable to speak.
“I told you I’d leave her alone,” Easton said, voice broken. “Send me away, but Jesus…don’t hurt her anymore. She’s your daughter. Just…end me. I’m ready.”
Father watched Easton intently. “She can’t be with a Hell’s reaper. It’s too dangerous.”
“I know,” Easton whispered.
“You said you’d do anything to protect her,” Father said, staring off at the forever half-set sun in the distance. “To be with her.”
“Anything,” Easton said without hesitation.
Father turned and met Easton’s determined gaze. “Then I have a better idea.”
Chapter 29
Easton
I stood on the empty balcony of the crowded auditorium, a ghost among the living below. Gwen sat on the ledge, dangling her feet over the side. I leaned against the railing, searching for my best friend in the crowd. Gwen leaned down and planted a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. I pulled her over and spun her around so she was trapped against my chest.
“That was a tease.”
She grinned and pressed her nose against mine, basking in the glow created between us. “Did you want more?”
In answer, I caught her smile between my lips. Gwen sighed into my mouth, and I groaned in response. I’d never get tired of that sound. We didn’t get this often. Her father had started letting her v
enture out more due to our bargain. Agreeing to make the transfer to a Heaven’s reaper wasn’t exactly in my comfort zone, and I still wasn’t fully accepted, but getting these moments made every sacrifice worth it. I took my time tasting her, loving the way her soft body felt pressed up against mine. I threaded my fingers through her long, fiery hair and tugged, exposing her throat. She gasped as my lips trailed down to the spot just below her jaw that I knew drove her crazy.
“Oh!” She shoved me away and I growled, trying to reel her back in. It wasn’t enough. It was never enough with her. “They called his name!”
I sighed and placed her back on her perch and stood next to her watching the students in caps and gowns below.
“Finn Carter,” the announcer said through the microphone. The crowd clapped while Finn gathered his diploma. He gave the crowd a smile and nod as he hopped off the stage to make his way back down to Emma. The scythe at my hip began to warm. Gwen bit her lip and frowned when I cursed.
“Again?”
“Yeah.”
She hopped down from her perch. “I’ll go tell Father you’re busy. He can get the new recruit to do it.”
I should have said no, but I couldn’t. I had to be here. Finn was on the verge of going out and living his life. He was going to move on. Live a life the way it was meant to be lived. He was going to grow old. I needed to see this through.
“Thanks, Red,” I murmured against Gwen’s lips as I kissed her.
She smiled and tapped me on the nose. “Anytime.”
In a flash of pearl-colored light she disappeared, leaving me alone in a sea of people. I waited for the rest of the ceremony to pass, then made my way through the crowd and out into the sunlight where families were gathered taking pictures and crying.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?”
I smiled and turned to see Anaya standing beside me, watching the people around us. “Which part?”
“Seeing someone you thought you were going to be frozen in time with forever grow up, move on.”
We stood side by side and watched Finn, Emma, and Cash pile out of the auditorium laughing. I rubbed my chest, thinking I shouldn’t have been able to feel the achy full feeling there. But I did. Gwen must have been rubbing off on me.
“Ready to do this?” Anaya asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I owe them a visit.”
We both took a deep breath and willed ourselves into corporeality, moving closer. Anaya nudged my elbow, smiling. “By the way, I like the white. It’s working for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I prefer the black, but apparently you’re not allowed to scare people when you’re a Heaven’s reaper. Go figure.”
Finn stopped when he saw me, and after a split second of my doubting if he actually wanted me here, he grinned. I walked over, and Cash burst out laughing when he saw me.
“Holy shit!” He slapped me on the back, and I scowled. “This is something I never thought I’d see.”
Finn whistled. “Heaven’s reaper, huh? How the hell did that happen?”
Gwen. Gwen was how this had happened. She’d tumbled headfirst into my darkness and pulled me up out of it. Gave me hope. Love. Everything. Instead of saying all that I just shrugged.
“A girl,” I said. “A girl can change a lot.”
He cast a quick glance over at Emma, who was taking pictures with her mom. His eyes softened and he nodded. “Yeah. They can.”
If anybody understood it was Finn. He’d come back to life for a girl. How many guys could say that? He grinned at me.
“You look happy,” he said. “Happy looks good on you.”
“I thought you liked me when I was a surly asshole,” I joked.
He laughed. “Oh, I have a feeling he’s still in there. And for the record, don’t talk shit about the surly asshole. He’s my best friend.”
I looked down at my black combat boots, the one thing from my old self I’d skated by with keeping. They brought back memories coated in death and ash. I needed that. I needed to never forget where I came from. The things I’d done. I clenched my fist and looked up at Finn. I’d said all the right things to hallucination Finn, but now that the real one was standing right in front of me on the precipice of life, the words were harder to come by.
“I’m sorry,” I finally managed to say. “I’m sorry for not fighting for you. With you.”
His brow furrowed. “You did.”
“I should have done it better,” I said. “You’re my best friend. I’d go through Hell and back for you. You should know that. You know, before you go off and forget about everything that happened before…about me.”
Finn shoved his hands into his pockets and looked away. “I’m not going to forget—”
“You should,” I interrupted. “It’s okay. That’s how it’s supposed to work. You got a second chance. You’ll never fully take advantage of what’s in front of you if you keep looking behind.”
Finn scraped his fingers through his hair and laughed. “When the hell did you get all philosophical on me?”
My scythe warmed my hip, the calm honey-like sensation so different from the scorching flames I was used to. I lowered my hand to my side, still expecting the burn to return unexpectedly. Finn’s gaze dropped down to the blade, and the humor drained from his face.
“It’s not good-bye,” he said.
“Nah.” I pulled him into a hug and clasped him tightly, not caring if I was going to get shit for going corporeal and touching a human. “We’re brothers. It’ll never be good-bye.”
Finn pulled away and gave me a sad salute. “See you in the afterlife?”
“Yeah.” I laughed, looking up to the sky. “See you sixty years or so.”
“Let’s make it seventy.”
“Deal.”
Finn raised a brow and I looked behind me to see Gwen waiting. She smiled and gave a little wave to Finn. He chuckled and shook his head.
“Take care of him,” he said. “Keep him on his toes. He gets cranky if you don’t piss him off at least once a week.”
Gwen laughed and stepped forward to lace her fingers through mine. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”
I looked down at this girl, the one who had been willing to give up everything for me, and I couldn’t even remember the guy I’d been. The guy who had wanted to be alone. She’d done that. Somehow, beyond all reason, she’d managed to heal me. And I loved her for it.
“Do you want company?” she asked, smiling up at me. “I won’t be too much trouble. Promise.”
“Yeah, you will.” I smiled and brushed my lips against hers. “I’m counting on it.”
I turned away and closed my eyes, summoning the bright tunnel of light that would take me to my reap. There were no screams here. No dread. No pain. No regret. Only peace. And Gwen. And love. And for the first time in five hundred years, I was okay with that.
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Acknowledgments
First and foremost, a huge thank you to the readers and fans that have loved this series as much as I have. In three years we have been to Heaven, Hell, and somewhere Inbetween together. It’s been a wild ride and one I’ll never forget.
A huge thank you to Entangled Publishing for helping me bring this series to life. Three years ago, Heather Howland decided to take a chance on me and my reapers and I will be forever thankful that she did. With her help we created a story and characters that I am so proud to be a part of.
Thank you so much to the editors that helped me make this book shine, Heather Howland and Kari Olson. I don’t know what I would do without either of you. You have a way of taking what I create and helping me shape it into something amazing.
Thank you to Liz Pelletier, Heather Riccio, Debbie Suzuki, Tara Quigley, Erin Crum and the entire Entangled Publishing team. I am truly blessed to have this amazing publisher in my corner.
Thank you to my fellow author peeps and friends Melissa West, Rachel Harris, Cindi Madsen, and Lisa Burstein, Cole Gibsen, Wendy Higgins, Megan Erickson, Christina Lee, and Stina Lindenblatt. I am so thankful that I have you girls on this journey with me!
Thank you to my family, Jared, Colt, and Caden. Thank you for supporting me and loving me through every book I write. I love you, always.
About the Author
Tara Fuller writes novels. Some about witches. Some about grim reapers. All, of course, are delightfully full of teen angst and kissing. Tara grew up in a one-stoplight town in Oklahoma, where once upon a time she dreamed of becoming a writer. She has a slight obsession with music and a shameless addiction to zombie fiction, Mystery Science Theater, and black and white mochas. Tara now lives with her family in a slightly larger town in North Carolina, where they have at least three stoplights.
www.tarafuller.com
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