“With the way you’re blushing, I want them, but I won’t ask because I don’t want you to hide from me for the next few days. I was getting bored here all alone.”
“I really like him.”
“Pilar.” There was a warning note in her tone.
“I know. I know.”
“We said fun. You’d have fun while you’re here. Sometimes, you don’t get to take the fun home.”
“I know.” I shut my eyes to that reality.
She wasn’t wrong. As wanted as Ben had made me feel, I knew this was temporary. It had to be. Now that I’d taken on more responsibilities with the Crown, anyone I dated would be put in the limelight, and from what I knew about Ben, that was the last thing he wanted.
“Imagine how it’ll be at your mother’s Sunday dinners if you don’t fully accept that it’s temporary,” she said.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I opened my eyes again. “But I also want to remind you that you were wrong about Elias and Adeline.”
“I was, wasn’t I?” She frowned slightly. “But that was because your brother stepped up and did something about it. He was in a position where he could. Ben…well, he’d have to want to settle down. Do you think he wants to settle down?”
“I’m not sure. He doesn’t seem opposed to it.” I gave her a small smile. “But I also don’t want to spring that on him. He likes to keep his private life private.” I shrugged.
“And that’s an impossible task with the Crown,” she said.
I nodded sadly.
“Well, let’s wait for him to decide what he wants.” She sighed. “Sometimes, love chooses for you.”
“Love?” I felt my eyes widen. “I don’t think he’s… I don’t think we’re…” I paused. “It’s too soon for love.”
“Love has no time restraints.” She shot me a look. “But I’m not going to encourage this. I’m not supposed to, and I won’t. I’m supposed to talk sense into you and tell you that it’s dumb, not tell you to be open to it.”
“Spoken like a true secretary of the Crown,” I said, though I meant it sarcastically.
I’d never second-guessed anything, but lately, I’d been doing that with every situation. I was beginning to dislike the idea that we had been brought to this Earth for one sole purpose, and that was to serve the Crown. I wanted to serve myself for once. I couldn’t even imagine how it was for Elias, who had the weight of so much responsibility on his shoulders—from the time he was born. The only thing I wanted was Ben, and every moment I spent with him, I only wanted him more and more. But the fact of who I was made it all seem pretty impossible.
Chapter Sixteen
Pilar
“Did you tell Ben to drive you?”
“What?” I glanced up at Amir, who was standing in the threshold of my room. “No. I told him I had to go home this weekend to do a few things and that I’d be back on Monday.”
“Well, his security called us and said he’s on his way here because he’s taking you to the airport.”
“I mean, I’m not opposed.” I smiled. More time with Ben was definitely something I wouldn’t turn down.
“He’ll be here in ten minutes. Are you ready?”
“Ready.”
I was due back in Paris for a quick trip. Joss had left earlier this morning to take care of some things with Aramis. Apparently, he’d locked an heiress he’d been on a date with out of his apartment and then left her out there pounding on the door while paparazzi photographed her. I swear, my brother Elias was close to putting Aramis on The Bachelor: Eligible Prince Edition if he didn’t start coming to his senses. I hadn’t even asked Adeline if she’d spoken to my brother about my situation with Ben. I didn’t want anyone to burst my bubble and tell me that he was too much for me—older, more experienced, etcetera. Being with him made me feel safe and free, and the thought of giving any of that up made me want to cry. I heard the rev of a car’s engine as Ben pulled up to the front of the house and felt myself smile.
“Hey,” I said upon exiting the villa and seeing the black sports car.
“I hope you don’t mind that I hijacked Amir’s job.” Ben got out of the driver’s seat and walked over to the passenger door, opening it as he waited for me to approach. When I reached him, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me flush against him, kissing me deeply before letting me go.
“How could I mind?” I ducked into the car and waited for him to close the door. I looked out at Amir, who was shaking his head with a chuckle. “I’ll see you there.”
He jogged over to the SUV behind us and took the wheel, following us as Ben drove off. He placed a hand over mine, which was currently resting on my knee.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you while you’re gone.”
“I’ll only be gone a couple of days.” I grinned so widely, it made my face hurt. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else to occupy your time.”
“Definitely not.” He squeezed my hand, looking into my eyes as he stopped at a red light. “I’m waiting for you.”
“That probably shouldn’t make me as happy as it does, but here we are.” I winked at him. “When are you due back in Paris for training?”
“One week.” He sighed. “I love football. It’s my favorite thing in the world, but the older I get, the more my joints hurt when I think about going out there for an entire season.”
I laughed. “You’re getting old, Drake.”
“I guess I am.” He pinched me playfully. “Not too old for you, I hope.”
“I guess I have a thing for older men.” I bit my lip as I looked over at him. “Or maybe just older men named Benjamin Drake.”
“Good answer.” He brought my hand up and kissed it as he pulled into the parking lot where the private jet hangars were located.
After Amir had settled everything with our identification, we drove in and parked in front of the small office. Ben got out and opened the door for me, holding my hand as he walked me inside.
“We’re ready,” Amir announced, walking away from the counter and toward us.
“I guess this is goodbye.” I faced Ben.
“Not goodbye. I’ll see you soon.” He kissed me then, and I wrapped my arms around him to deepen the kiss because I felt like I needed to savor this moment to make up for all of the ones I’d miss over the weekend.
It was a dangerous feeling, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop myself from falling, and at this point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to try.
* * * *
I’d only been in Paris a few short hours before I reported for my first duty. I was serving food at one of the local homeless shelters today. It had always been one of my favorite places to come as a kid. My parents would bring my brothers and I every Christmas. Even though we were extremely privileged, and Santa never skipped our houses, serving food for the less fortunate put things into perspective. The shelter was also one of the few places that always supported my father, regardless of what the rest of the country said about him. When my brother stepped into the role of king, they were very vocal in their praise. And when he chose to marry Adeline, a commoner, they were even more so. Amir and I pulled up to the shelter, and he switched off the car.
“Are you sure you want to drive home by yourself?”
“Please. It’s only two blocks, and I need my space.” I smiled. “Besides, Aramis is coming to serve food with me, so I’ll be safe.” I winked.
Amir nodded as we stepped out of the car, and he jogged over to the waiting SUV with the other security members. The thing I loved about Paris was that, yes, we were always flanked by security, but in instances like these, where we were close to home and at a safe place, we were allowed some freedom. It wasn’t much, but when you lived under a microscope, you learned to appreciate every bit of it. As I walked to the door, I sent my brother a text, telling him I would wait for him inside. On the rare occasion where we felt extra daring, we stood outside for a while with no security, hiding behind sunglasses and beneath ha
ts. Today, I just wanted to go inside and do my duty so that I could go home and sleep in my bed. My phone vibrated, and I stopped walking, unlocking the screen to find a text, though not from my brother.
Ben: I hope you had a good flight. I miss you already.
I took a deep breath and smiled, reveling in those words. Ben missed me, and it wasn’t like he had to tell me as much. He could have played it cool like most guys I knew. Instead, he’d sent me a message, telling me that he missed me. I bit my lip as I responded.
Me: I miss you too. I wish I had thought to kidnap you and bring you in my suitcase.
Ben: I saw the size of your suitcase. I think I’d fit.
Me: haha. I think you might!
Ben: I wouldn’t have been opposed to going home to be with you.
Butterflies took flight in my belly. I bit my lip harder.
“I’m surprised he let you out of his sight.”
I gasped at the sound of Kayla’s voice and glanced up to find her standing a few feet away from me. “What are you doing here?”
“I live in the area.” She shrugged. “I heard you were going to come feed the poor today. It must be tedious work, considering you don’t even feed yourself.”
My pulse quickened. “What do you want?”
“What do I want? Nothing. I’m just taking a walk.”
“You should leave.”
“I will.” She looked past me. “Nice car. Are you sure you want to leave it parked in a neighborhood like this?”
The shelter doors opened before I could form a response, and Monsieur Baron stepped outside.
“Pilar! We’ve been expecting you.” He smiled.
“Bonjour.” I smiled back, then looked at Kayla. “I have to go. I have important people to meet with.”
She glowered at me but walked away. I strolled inside, trying to brush off the encounter. The papers always published where we’d be making appearances for the Crown, so I wasn’t shocked that she knew where I’d be. But the fact that she’d followed me here was unsettling. I made a note to tell Amir about it. Our previous encounter had been uncomfortable, but this was more than that. Soon enough, Monsieur Baron set me up behind the counter, and Aramis walked in, flashing me a big smile.
“I’ve been waiting for you.” I shot him a look.
“I was busy kicking someone out of bed.” He winked.
“You were? Or Joss was?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Joslyn has become a major pain in my butt.” He pulled on a white apron, walked over to me, and squeezed me into a hug. “I’ve missed you. How was your holiday?”
“It’s not over. I’m going back in two days. But it’s splendid so far. Everything I ever dreamed of. I don’t know why I didn’t start going sooner.”
“Because you’re too much of a good girl to rebel.” He pulled away. “So, anything you want to tell me?”
“No.” I blushed despite myself and looked away quickly. Had Ben told my brother about us? They were friends, after all. “Do you have something you want to tell me?”
“Aside from the fact that I’m dying to drive that shiny new car of yours? Nope.”
“You can drive it to my place. I’ll drive yours.” I bumped his hip with mine as we started serving food on the plates. “How have Elias and Adeline been?”
“Oh, you know, trying to control the kingdom, but fine.”
“They are not controlling, Aramis.” I laughed. “You just don’t want to change, and that’s a problem for the family right now.”
“So, I’m a problem?”
“Honestly? Yes.”
“How?” he scoffed.
“Eli asked us not to call attention to ourselves, and that’s all you’ve been doing.”
“Really? Because unlike all of you, I happen to read the papers, and they’re all talking about how you’re partying too hard in Ibiza.”
“Ibiza is a party.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my fault they have nothing else to talk about right now.”
“That’s exactly how I feel about my situation.”
I smiled at the woman taking the plate in front of me and small-talked momentarily with her before turning back to my brother. “Your situation is entirely different. For starters, the women you sleep with are famous in their own right, and you treat them like crap. Publicly.”
“Yet they keep coming back.” He shrugged a shoulder.
“What you need is a swift kick in the butt. A woman who comes out of nowhere and makes you settle down once and for all.”
“Good luck with that. All the good ones are taken,” he scoffed.
“Joss isn’t taken.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it, frowning before shaking his head. “Joslyn hates me.”
“I never understood why.”
“We all have our secrets.” He shot me a look that spoke volumes, and I shut my mouth about love for the remainder of our time at the shelter. The last thing I needed was my brother lecturing me about Ben, and I was pretty sure he knew all about us.
Chapter Seventeen
Pilar
I couldn’t stop laughing at the show my brother was putting on as he got inside my sparkly red sports car. He was acting like his car wasn’t just as luxurious. I shook my head from behind the wheel of his SUV and placed my phone on the magnetic holder he had tucked into the air vent. We all had them, a gift from Joslyn last year, so that when we were driving, we could still talk on the phone. I dialed my brother and saw him do the same thing with his phone in my car as he answered.
“Your seat is up to the steering wheel.”
“That’s because I’m much shorter than you.” I snapped on my seatbelt and fixed his seat so that it was closer to the steering wheel. “This is a safe car. A total dad car, if you ask me.”
“Dad car?” He chuckled. “I guess my Range Rover would be lame in comparison to this R8.”
“I agree.”
“We’re going to your place, right?”
“Yep. Unless you want to go get dinner. Or go to Eli and Addie’s.”
“Didn’t you just get in? Have you even been home?”
“Not yet.” I watched as the brake lights of my car flickered on, which meant he was about to start driving. I put the SUV into drive, as well.
“Are you hungry? We can get food delivered and tell Eli and Addie to meet us there.”
“That sounds like a better idea,” I agreed. “I’m going to call the little Chinese place by my house and order.”
“Okay. I’ll call Eli.”
We hung up and started to drive. Aramis peeled out of the parking spot with a loud rev of the engine, and I tried to follow with as much gusto, but his Range Rover wasn’t up to that kind of speed—too heavy. We reached the first light and passed it, then made a right. As we approached the second light, which crossed between a major street and the exit of the highway, I saw that we had five seconds to beat the yellow light that was approaching, and knew Aramis would slam the accelerator. I prepared to do the same, adrenaline coursing through me as we neared. I heard the engine of the car in front of me, felt the one of the vehicle I was in, but knew we wouldn’t beat the yellow. It would turn red as we passed, if we were lucky. It all played out in slow motion, the way one watches a movie that’s both terrifying and intriguing, a train wreck you can’t quite look away from.
Aramis floored it. The vehicle, which was the safest in its class, swerved left and right before spinning out of control in the middle of the red. I slammed on my brakes, gasping as my heart hit my throat, watching in anticipation, hoping like hell he’d regain control before the intersection opened up to the street.
I felt as if the world stopped as one vehicle, then another crashed into the car Aramis was driving. The car I was supposed to be driving. I didn’t think about my surroundings as I got out of the car and ran over to him. I didn’t think about how crowded the streets were or that I myself could also be hurt doing this.
The only thing I could think about was my b
rother.
Chapter Eighteen
Ben
“Have you seen the news?” David asked, walking into the villa.
“No. What happened?” I switched the channel.
“Prince Aramis and Princess Pilar involved in fatal car accident”
Fatal car accident.
The control slipped out of my hand, crashing to the floor.
“In critical condition.”
“Ben?”
I blinked, looking at David, my eyes glazed and hazy.
“Do you want to go?” David asked.
I thought I nodded. I thought I said something. I couldn’t be sure. I felt numb. I’d just seen her. I’d just texted with her a couple of hours ago. I glanced up at the television, took in the helicopter footage as it circulated around the scene. My heart squeezed. God, please no. I’d give her up if it meant she’d be okay. I’d give up football. I’d give up anything to rewind time so that she could be okay. That was the mantra I kept in my head the entire flight over and on my way to the hospital when we finally got there. Nothing else mattered, I realized. And as I stepped out of the SUV and into the sea of swarming cameras taking my picture, I no longer cared. I didn’t care to hide behind a wall. I cared about Pilar, getting to Pilar and making sure she was okay. It was the only thing I cared about in that moment.
* * * *
“What are you doing here?” Elias turned to me when he saw me in the hall. Two of his security personnel stepped between us.
“Are they okay? Is Aramis okay? Pilar? What happened?”
“They’re…they’re going to be fine.” Elias’s expression fell. He waved away the security team between us and let me come closer. “Aramis was driving Pilar’s car and it spun out of control.” He shook his head. “She went to try and help, and was hit by a cyclist and fell, but she’s okay. He’s fine. He just got out of surgery, and he’s all right.”
“What about the fire? It looked like there was a fire.”
“One of the cars…” Elias swallowed. “One of the other cars involved caught fire.”
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