by Nia Arthurs
“Not exactly. I’m… taking a break.”
“Oh.” I try not to judge. Theo can afford to take a break. He’s got his trust fund and his grandmother’s inheritance.
I focus on that difference, realizing I can find a million more without trying too hard. It was a good thing we broke up. The world would have done it if I hadn’t.
Theo stops on the sidewalk. I almost bounce into him. He faces me, his tall body protecting me from the wind. He’s standing so close I can smell his scent—something subtle and spicy. Can he hear my heart beating? My shoes skitter against the pavement as I inch back.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice soft and vulnerable.
Tears sting my eyes, but I hold them hostage and refuse to let them out. This isn’t the time to get emotional. We’re over. Done. I have a new life now. Theo should move on and enjoy his.
“It was six years ago, Theo.”
“You think a call after you just up and disappeared was enough?” He touches my shoulder and bends his head so I have no choice but to look at him. “What happened, Sunni?”
I lick my lips and raise my chin. This moment played over and over in my dreams. Especially after the first few months. My arms wrap around my waist. “It’s like I told you back then. I realized I wanted more.”
“More than what? I would have done anything for you. I would have died for you.”
“Well,” I move his arm away with the hand holding my engagement ring, “I’m grown now so you don’t have to make rash promises you can’t keep.”
His eyes fix on the ostentatious diamond. I wear it because Dion gave it to me, but the thing is way too flashy for my tastes. I only slip it on for our dates and when we attended events back in Mexico and Guatemala.
“Is that…?”
“I’m engaged.”
“To that guy in the hotel?”
“Yes. His name is Dion. He’s a famous architect from Mexico. Your father hired him to design the hotel. That’s why we were there, and it’s why we were all dressed up.”
I hate that I bring attention to my dress because the way Theo eyes me sends goosebumps shivering over my exposed arms. Memories of his lips brushing mine in the hotel suite he called his bedroom burst to mind. I push it away.
Theo lets loose a shuddering breath. “Is that guy… Leah’s father?”
I struggle to hide how much Theo saying that name affects me. My heart is banging around my chest. Bile rises in my throat.
“Sunni!” Theo's never called me like that. It’s one part horror and one part fury.
“Y-yes.”
“Yes… what?”
“He’s the father.”
Theo caves in like I punched him in the gut. His deep brown eyes darken with pain. Everything in me wants to reach out and cling to him. Not because I still have those old feelings, but because—for all that we went through—Theo was my best friend, and I never want to see him hurt.
“Why?”
“Why?” I blink, unsure I’ve heard him correctly. “Because we love each other. It just happened.”
“What about me?”
I force myself to push him away. “Look, we were eighteen. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. It’s all part of the past now. It means nothing. I’m sure you’ve dated other girls since then, Theo. Don’t act like you were waiting all this time.”
“I dated girls, but none of them were you.”
What does he expect me to say to that? “I’m sorry I couldn’t break up in person. I’m sorry I did it over a phone call. That was rude of me. But you’re a part of my past. Dion is my future. I’m marrying him.”
“You can’t.”
I arch an eyebrow, stunned by the slight whine in his tone. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Or find that attractive? “Excuse me?”
“You meant everything to me.”
“Theo…”
“Don’t marry him.” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Please.”
My phone rings, rescuing me from having to answer. I fish it out of my purse and move slightly away so I can have some privacy. It’s Dion.
“I’m picking you up,” he says.
“Okay.” I press ‘END’ and turn to Theo. “That’s Dion. I have to go.”
Theo says nothing as I give him my back and stride down the path. The sky is awash in brilliant pink and orange tones. The sun is about to set. I want to run back to Theo and ask if we can at least be friends, but neither of us can handle that. For very different reasons.
My high heels pinch my toes. I’m in a navy blue dress with a full skirt that hits my knees. It’s unconventional attire to wear to a park and several people give me the side-eye when I stomp past. Some men on the half-finished building next door call out to me. I barely register any of them.
Theo sounded so broken. He’s not going to do anything crazy like kill himself, right?
I chew on a nail and by the time Dion pulls up in his pickup, I’m down to the nub. He pushes the door open from the driver’s side and I hop in.
“How’s Leah?” I ask.
“She’s fine. Leesandra has her baking powder buns so the kitchen is a complete mess.” He smiles, the kind that turns his already handsome face into a woman’s fantasy. He taps his finger on the wheel and in a more subdued tone asks, “How’s the guy from the hotel?”
I shift, staring through the window as we pass the park. Theo’s not there anymore. “He’s fine.”
“Did you know him from before Mexico?”
“Yeah. We grew up together in the hotel that Mom used to work at. You could say we were best friends.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?”
“Because we were more than that for a bit.” I paste a smile on my face and tease. “Now can I ask you about some of your old relationships?”
“Ask away. I ended everything with my exes cleanly. You can say I’m even on good terms with some of them.”
“Theo and I are on—” I clamp my mouth shut. Saying we’re on ‘good’ terms would be a lie.
“Exactly.” Dion frowns at me. “The vibe between you and that guy was so…”
“What?”
He squirms. “Raw? I don’t know. It wasn’t just him. I saw the way you reacted too.”
“How did I react to him?”
“Like your soul shook.”
I laugh. “Have you been listening to romance audiobooks again?”
He blushes. “They help my brain get into gear.”
“I thought that was my job.”
He shoots me another smile. “Now you’re just trying to be coy.”
I press a kiss to Dion’s shoulder and whisper in his ear. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Sunni, what are you doing?” He laughs and tries to wiggle me off by moving his shoulder. “Stop distracting me while I’m driving.”
“What?” I play innocent. “Am I distracting you?”
But it does not deter Dion. “Is that guy linked to Leah’s father?” He licks his lips. “Is he Leah’s father?”
I stiffen and plop back in my seat. Annoyance tinges my voice as I stare straight out the windshield. “Why are we still talking about this?”
“You’ve never mentioned it. I was waiting for you to tell me, but it doesn’t look like that’ll happen.” When he sees my furrowed brow, Dion sighs. “I’m not going to judge you, Sunni. You should know me by now. I proposed to you while loving and accepting Leah as my own daughter.”
“Then that should be enough. Why are you asking so many questions?”
“You’ve been acting weird since we moved back to Belize. It’s like you’re glancing over your shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
He parks in front of the tiny bungalow Mom and I are renting until Dion builds our home. “Then tell me the truth. Who is Leah’s father?”
“All that matters is
he’s no longer a part of our lives.” I pull the handle and climb out. “If you don’t mind, Dion, I’m a little tired so I’d prefer if you didn’t come inside.”
“Sunni!” he yells through the window.
I ignore him and storm into the house. My head is killing me.
I fly past my mother and Leah in the kitchen and head upstairs.
That night I dream of meeting Theo again. But in my dreams, instead of walking away I hug him tight and refuse to let go.
* * *
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