“Meg, can you please put me right near Bobby’s face?” I asked.
Meg lifted me up, face to face with Bobby. “Listen, kid,” I said sternly. “It’s dangerous for us out here.” I pointed up. “Every bird here is looking at us like we’re their next meal.”
Bobby cranked his neck upwards to look around. “But birds are nice!”
“Not when you’re two inches tall!” I said.
“You are way small,” Bobby giggled.
I pointed to the house. “Can we PLEASE go inside?”
“Say please!” Bobby ordered.
“I already did,” I insisted.
“She did,” Joe nodded.
“Bobby, you’re being a jerk,” Meg said.
“Say pretty please,” Bobby said.
I swear when I got big again, Bobby and I were going to have a very serious talk. It would not be a pleasant experience for him. It might even be painful for him. But for now, I was at Bobby’s mercy. I needed him to like me.
I leaned forward and gave him my biggest, prettiest fake smile, “Pretty, pretty please!” I sang.
Bobby grinned. “See, that wasn’t so hard!” His smile grew. “Now say…”
Before Bobby could finish, Meg snatched Joe from his hand. “Enough of this silliness!” she said, storming towards the house. “I don’t want some bird swinging down and eating my hundred dollars!”
Bobby raced after us. “Hey, they are my hundred dollars too!”
Meg ran towards the kitchen. She rushed in, then kicked the door shut with her feet. She hurriedly put Joe and me down on the counter. She locked the door a second before Bobby grabbed at it.
“Ha! Too slow!” Meg taunted.
Bobby pounded on the door’s window with his head and his hands. “Not fair!” he shouted back.
Meg stuck her tongue out. “Nah, Nah!”
To this, Bobby just pounded louder.
“Hey, what are you two twerps doing in the kitchen?” Zac yelled from the living room.
“Just playing!” Meg yelled back.
“Well, play quieter!” Zac shouted back. “I’m trying to talk on the phone right now.”
Meg rolled her eyes. She looked down at us. “He’s always on the phone. I don’t think he can talk without having a phone next to his big mouth.”
I pointed to the door. “Still, it’s best if you let Bobby in.”
We looked at the door. Bobby was gone.
“Oh, I didn’t see that coming,” Meg said. “He’s smarter than I thought.”
We heard the front door open. We heard the front door slam. Bobby came stomping into the kitchen. “Meg! That was so mean!”
Bobby turned and tried to fart at Meg. He pushed and pushed. Nothing appeared to happen. We heard a little squish sound. Bobby turned red. “Oops…” he ran out of the kitchen. “I’ll be back!” he shouted.
Meg shook her head. “OMG! That kid is such a LOSER.” Meg’s stomach started to rumble. She put her hand over her stomach. “Uh oh, not again…”
Joe pointed to the other end of the counter away from the door. “Can you move us over there? Those grapes smell pretty good.”
“Sure,” Meg said. She picked us up and rushed over near the grapes. She dropped us down. She ran out of the room. She turned back and shouted. “Sorry, sorry, sorry!”
Joe looked at me. “Our life is in their hands.”
“Oh Joe, you’re being overly dramatic,” I told him.
“Really?” Joe said.
“Joe, I have complete faith in Meg and Bobby. I know that together they can help us get back to normal.”
Joe looked at me.
I didn’t know if I really believed that, but right now I knew they were our only hope. I pointed to the grapes. “Let’s eat.”
Chapter 8
Joe and I stood in front of a bunch of nice purple grapes.
Now, if we had been normal size, these would have been easy to munch on. Of course, when you’re this small, nothing is easy. Joe grabbed one of the grapes with both hands. He leaned backward, pulling with all his might. He really put his back into it. He tugged and tugged. Finally, the grape popped loose from the stem. Joe fell over with the grape on top of him.
I gave Joe a little fake applause. “Job well done, buddy,” I said.
“Hey, I got it off the vine, didn’t I?” he boasted.
I gave him a nod. “That you did, my friend.”
Without even bothering to try to roll the grape from his body, Joe took a big juicy bite. “Yum,” he said, juice drooling out of his mouth. I walked over and took a bite out of the grape. After all the stale donuts...the fresh fruit tasted extra special.
“Ah, I had almost forgotten what fruit tastes like,” I said.
“I’m normally not a huge fan, but this tastes better than any grape I’ve ever had,” Joe said. “Do you think it’s because we’re so small that these grapes taste better? Like they are overwhelming our taste buds?”
I took another bite. “Nope, I think it’s because these aren’t old and dried out,” I smiled.
“Good point,” Joe said, still lying where he’d fallen, juices dripping down his chin.
“You know that’s gross, right?” I told Joe.
“Gross, but so, so tasty,” he smirked. “This is like fresh grape juice. It’s cool and refreshing.”
“And sticky…” I noted.
“Well, if you want to be picky about sticky,” Joe snickered.
“Joe, I think you’re getting a bit too much sugar now,” I told him.
He nodded. “Yeah, I see that. Picky about sticky,” he repeated and grinned. “That’s a funny rhyme.” He laughed at his joke again, a little too much!
I moved over and pushed the grape off him. “You don’t need to be under your food to enjoy your food,” I told him. “That’s probably bad for your digestion.”
“Great point,” Joe said, standing up. He looked at me. “Oh gross….” he said, his mouth dropping open.
“Joe, I know I don’t look my best, which is exactly why I don’t want Zac to see me. But I don’t think I’m gross.”
He pointed. I figured out he was pointing behind me.
I turned. I saw the biggest hairiest cockroach in the world. That’s what we get for being in a dark corner. Apparently, our grapes, or at least their juice, was also of interest to the roach.
“Man, I’m so getting sick of fighting off bugs for food!” I moaned.
It looked like for once we got a lucky break, as Meg suddenly reappeared. She raced over to us. “Great news, my stomach wasn’t nearly as gross and disgusting as the last time!” She spotted the roach. “Aaaahhh!” she shouted. She ran out of the kitchen. Well then, we didn’t get lucky.
“What’s the plan now?” Joe asked, peeking at the roach from behind my shoulder. “That thing sure is creepy.”
“It’s just a bug, no different from the other bugs we’ve fought!” I said bravely.
“I gu-ess,” Joe stuttered. “But somehow this one is even creepier than the spider… It’s so big and gross. And when you step on them, they make a crunch sound, and that’s when we’re big. But since we’re small, I don’t think we could hurt the thing. Those things are tough! So strong. They were on Earth before people… They may be on Earth long after people,” he shuddered.
I snapped my fingers in front of Joe’s face. “Snap out of it!”
Joe shook his head. He took a deep breath. “I’m okay. But we do not want to mess with that thing!”
The roach had stopped its approach and was staring directly at us.
I’m not sure if it was as scared of us, as we were of it. Or if it was more worried about Meg coming back and squashing it. But whatever was the case, we had some time to plan and react.
I scanned the counter. There was a coffee cup next to the sink. I assumed it had been washed and left there to dry. I pointed the cup out to Joe. “Look, we can hide out in that clean cup. We pick a couple of grapes off the bunch and go hang out
in the cup. We leave the rest for the roach.”
Joe looked at the grapes. He licked his lips. “Sounds like a plan, a fairly safe plan…” He took a deep breath. He took another.
I inched forward, hoping that would encourage Joe to act. I kept one eye on the roach as I headed behind the grapes. The roach stood there, its antenna wiggling. Reaching the grapes, I put my arms around a big juicy one and pulled it off the stem. I smiled as it popped into my arms. I turned to Joe, who was slowly approaching. “Hurry up!” I urged.
“My legs won’t stop trembling,” he said.
I pointed to the roach. “Joe, I’m sure this thing is as scared of us as we are of it!” I said.
Joe kept inching forward. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that…”
“Then why is it just standing there?” I countered.
“Probably thinking of how many ways it can eat us,” Joe said.
“Joe, roaches don’t eat people!”
“And you know this how?” Joe asked. “I watched this movie on TV once, it was about these giant roaches and they terrorized a town! Nothing could stop them!”
“Joe, that’s a movie. This is real life. This roach isn’t giant sized. Now come on, you can do this!”
Joe ran forward. He lunged at a grape and missed it. He steadied himself. “Okay Joe, you can do this,” he said, talking to himself. He slowly reached downed and plucked a grape. “I did it!” he shouted with pride as if he had just climbed Mount Everest.
“Okay, good, now let’s get to that clean cup!” I said.
We scurried across the counter, our grapes in our arms. Reaching the cup, we tossed the grapes in first. We climbed over the edge of the cup and climbed inside. Cold leftover coffee splashed all over our legs as we jumped inside.
“Oh gross,” Joe said.
“Guess it wasn’t that clean,” I sighed.
Joe grinned. “Well, at least we’re safe from that roach! And I’ve always wanted to try coffee. Smells good, don’t you think?”
That’s what I liked about my buddy Joe. Even though we were face to face with a nasty bug, he was still able to see the bright side of things. He kept things upbeat. I had to remember that. I wanted to be more like Joe.
We heard the door to the kitchen swing open. Joe and I peeked over the edge of the cup. In walked Bobby, followed by Zac. OMG, Zac could maybe see me! Wait! No, no, no! I didn’t want or need Zac to see me now. I’m miniature and smelled of the stale coffee that I just splashed into. Nope, we didn’t need Zac.
I sunk down into the cup. I motioned for Joe to do the same thing. Instead, Joe stood up straight, waving his arms. “Zac! Zac!! Look over here!” he shouted.
Luckily, we were so small and so well-hidden, Zac couldn’t hear or see Joe – yet. I dove across the cup and dragged Joe down.
“Joe! Are you crazy?”
“Ah, no, Bella! Zac could save us!”
“We don’t need Zac! We’ve already sent a message off with Becky. I know she’ll tell Mom. Plus, we have Bobby and Meg to help keep us safe.”
Joe shook his head. “Do you really think Becky will give your mom that message? Even if she remembers, which she probably won’t, she still won’t give her the message, because if you remember, SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU!”
“She likes me, she just has issues, but she likes me,” I insisted.
“Ah, okay. Plus do you really trust Bobby and Meg to keep us safe? Meg is scared of roaches!”
“Well so are you, Joe!”
“I’m two inches tall!”
“Joe, you’re scared of them when you’re regular size!”
“Good point,” he admitted with a sigh. He lifted a finger. “But I wouldn’t be counting on Meg either.”
“What about Bobby. He seems reasonable and in control,” I told Joe, admittedly choking on those words a bit.
“Ple – ease!” Joe said.
I put my hands together in the praying position. “Please Joe….”
Joe groaned and sank back into the cup.
“Bobby, why’d you make me get off the phone?” Zac questioned.
“Because there’s a big bug in here and it scared Meg! And if it scared her, I don’t want to see it either. I’m afraid it will hurt our little people that used to be fairies, but now they’re just regular little people.”
“Bobby, what the heck are you talking about? Have you been smelling your farts again?”
“Well sure, I love my farts. They smell great. But that’s not the thing...there’s a giant bug in the corner of the counter. Can’t have it eating our little people, or else we won’t get our reward!”
“Bobby, what has Mom told you about making stupid stuff up?”
“It’s not stupid! It’s real stuff!!” Bobby insisted. “Small, little people come out! Come out!” Bobby screamed.
Joe tried to stand up, but between the slippery coffee and me holding him back, he couldn’t. I grinned.
“Bobby! You have to stop making dumb stuff up!” Zac said in his creamy smooth voice.
“I’m not!” Bobby said with a stamp of his foot. “Even when I make stuff up, it’s always cool stuff. But this is something I’m not making up! There really, really, really are two little people in here. They said they were fairies, but now they’re part of some sort of experiment gone wrong. Or something. Whatever, it’s cool. At least I’m cool. They were pretty stupid to get shrunk!”
“I resent that,” I whispered to Joe.
Joe rolled his eyes. “He’s kind of right.”
“Bobby, neither of those stories makes any sense at all!” Zac insisted.
“Doesn’t mean they aren’t true!” Bobby countered. “Look, you told me the tooth fairy doesn’t exist,” he added, “But then I put a tooth under my pillow and POW the next morning I got a nice five dollar bill.”
“Five dollars for a tooth! That’s a lot!” Joe said. “I’d get like 25 cents…”
“I’d get a science fact and a tooth brush,” I whispered to Joe.
Joe smiled. “Your mom is so cool.”
“Look Zac, if you don’t believe me, ask Meg! Meg knows the little people too. She even knows the little girl’s little sister.”
“How dare he call me a little girl! I’m way older than him!” I whined to Joe.
“Sssh…” Joe told me.
“Meg is in the bathroom AGAIN. You know this might be a while…”
“Yeah gross,” Bobby agreed.
“And she calls us gross,” Zac laughed.
“Yeah, Meg doesn’t think her poop smells like poop!” Bobby laughed.
Zac laughed harder.
“It’s nice when brothers find something they can agree on,” Joe smiled. He tried to stand up, but I pulled him down again.
“Bobby, I know you think you know what you saw, but trust me, as your older big brother, there are no fairies in here.”
“Yeah Zac, I figured that out, I’m not stu-pid. I know now that they are two dumb kids who shrank themselves.”
“Bobby, that’s impossible,” Zac insisted.
“Nothing is impossible, Mom always says!” Bobby said.
“Yeah,” Zac said slowly like he was processing information. “I guess it’s not technically impossible, especially in this town. After all, there is this girl in my class, Isabel. Her mom does make some whacky and crazy inventions.”
“He knows my name!” I shouted. I clapped my hand over my mouth.
“Yeah, he called you whacky and crazy!” Joe said.
“No, he called my MOM that, and I love her, but she is whacky.”
“Did ya hear that?” Bobby asked Zac. “I think I heard talking. Little voices talking.”
“Bobby let it go!” Zac insisted.
“But, but, Zac,” Bobby argued.
We heard Zac walking away. “Just let it go, bro!”
“But, but…” Bobby insisted, trailing after his big bro.
I popped my head up from the cup just in time to see the two of them leaving the kitche
n.
“Phew, that was close!” I said, pulling myself out of the cup.
“Yeah, we were close to being rescued! Zac could actually talk to your mother for us; tell her what’s going on,” Joe said pulling himself out of the cup.
“He knows my name!” I smiled.
“Yeah, we’re not a big class, I think he knows everybody’s name. Though he does call me Jake sometimes….”
“But it’s great that he knows my real name. I love the way he says…Isabel!”
“I thought your name was Isabella!” Joe said.
“Same thing! Joe, don’t be so petty!”
Joe groaned. “I’m being real, not petty.”
“I think you’re being pathetic, Joe!” I said, arms crossed and turning away from him. Really, I didn’t know why I was so mad at Joe. I just knew I was.
Joe stayed calm. “Look, Bella, we’re both under a lot of pressure here, being two inches tall and covered in coffee and stuff. Plus, we’re counting on an eight-year-old with a stomach condition and a hyper five-year-old to save us.”
“True. This isn’t a normal situation,” I said.
“So we need to stay on the same page. We got into this as a team...we’ll get out of it as a team,” Joe said. He held out his hand.
I shook his hand. “You’re right, Joe. Sorry.”
That’s the thing about true friends, they stick by you even when you’re being crazy and nuts. They help you get back to being you. Friends know you aren’t ever perfect and hang in there with you. You accept each other as you are. I saw now that Joe wasn’t jealous of Zac. Joe simply wanted to do the right thing, at least what he thought would be the right thing.
In Joe’s mind, Zac happened to be our best chance for getting home safe, and not squashed. I saw his point. Zac was bigger and more capable than either Meg or Bobby. He could probably get us home in his pockets. I smiled at the idea of Zac carrying me home. He’d be my knight in shining armor forever. He could see all my mom’s cool inventions. He’d realize my mom is actually a brilliant (and a bit loony) scientist. He’d respect me for that.
Or would he? Maybe he’d think I was just some dumb geek with a strange extra geeky mom? A cool guy like Zac would never like a geek girl. Especially a geek girl whose mom invents things that shrink people and make poop extra stinky. Yep, a cool guy would not want to be seen with pigsty girl, especially after she got herself all shrunk. And I smelled like a weird mix of wet dog, coffee, sweat, and hamster. If I had any chance to get a cool guy like Zac, I had to have him only see me at my best. Right now, I wasn’t close to my best. In fact, this pretty much had to be me at my WORST!
Zac to the Rescue! Page 4