“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I can’t force you to love me anymore,” I said. I must have sounded pathetic to him.
“Aria, it’s not about you,” Shadow replied.
What kind of fucking answer was that?
“I guess it’ll never be about me again, right?” I cried. “All that bullshit about wanting to leave the Midnight Society, taking me away and travelling, making love in exotic locations, was all a string of words meant to keep me around so I could be your fuck-buddy, am I right?”
Shadow shook his head. “I still want to do all those things.”
“You sure have a funny way of reassuring me.”
“My mind has been preoccupied, if you haven’t noticed. I just learned that the person I was hunting for the past thirteen years—the twisted fuck who murdered my parents—ended up being my own twin sister. I’m sorry if holding your hand, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and taking you away on an extended vacation is not at the top of my list at the moment.”
His words tore through me like razorblades. Was this what loving Shadow was going to be like?
“Why are you acting like you hate me?” I asked. “Like I no longer matter?”
He was about to say something, but quickly stopped short. After a long pause, he spoke again. “I don’t hate you.”
“Do you even love me anymore?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
There was no pause this time in his response. “I do.”
“Prove it then—” but before I could finish my sentence, he was already on me, his mouth pressed hard against mine as our tongues found their way to one another. My stomach soared to my heart as I felt his strength crush my body close to his.
If he only knew how long I’d waited for this moment, for him to give me a sign that he still loved me. His kiss was so passionate and forceful, yet somewhere deep down inside, my heart was breaking as I gave my body up to him once more.
Chapter Three
Aria
Sex was always better when emotions were high, and at the moment, my emotions were an inch short of touching the moon.
Shadow’s mouth devoured mine and I moaned, tasting the sweetness of lips and his tongue. Oh God, how I missed all of this.
He pushed me atop the kitchen table, requesting me to submit. By instinct I tried to get up, but he pinned me back down with his strong arms, rendering me helpless, to do as he pleased.
“The sandwiches,” I said breathlessly, while looking over my shoulder at the plate of food at the center of the table.
“Fuck the sandwiches,” he said, and with one hand he pushed the plate onto the ground, scattering the bread, lettuce, and meat everywhere.
While sitting at the edge of the table, I grabbed his neck with one hand and pulled his mouth closer to mine, forcing our lips to lock once more. His strong hands found their way to the front of my white blouse and he ripped it open, exposing my lace bra underneath. The raw and dirty sound of fabric tearing fueled the fire burning inside me.
My blouse was ruined, but I didn’t give a shit. The only thing I wanted was to feel Shadow’s bare chest pressed against my body and to have his hardness satisfy me again.
I shrugged my blouse off my shoulders. It slid down my arms and onto the table. My mouth remained fixed onto Shadow’s as our tongues continued to explore one another, feasting on the magnetism that drew us together.
It felt good to be wanted again.
His soft lips found their way between my neck and shoulders, while his hands undid the clasp of my bra. I shivered with nervous anticipation while Shadow exposed my heavy breasts to him. His fingers pulled lightly at both my nipples while I moaned with pleasure.
His mouth gravitated towards the tip of my breasts and he sucked them, his tongue tracing circles around each nipple.
“Shadow, fuck!” I gasped as I grabbed his leather belt with trembling hands. I undid the clasp and pulled down his zipper, freeing his throbbing erection. The warmth of his hard cock between my hands sent shockwaves through my body. He unleashed an earthly groan as I ran my hands up and down his full length.
I wanted him to fill me. I needed him to fill me.
Shadow lifted me off the table and onto my feet again, kissing me with a sense of urgency, his mouth was the coolness that could vanquish the raging fires within me. He pulled my jeans down to my ankles, with my thong following closely behind, and pushed me back onto the table as his fingers slipped inside of me, the pad of his thumb massaging my throbbing clit.
"You’re mine,” he growled, just before his mouth found my aching nipples once more as he gently pulled on them with his soft lips, his tongue lapping their ends.
The sounds of his fingers, pushing in and out of my wetness sent me to the edge.
“I want you inside me,” I breathed.
“When I’m ready,” he answered as he pressed the tip of his head at the entrance of my pussy and rubbed it up and down the length of my outer lips. Every time he glided over my clit, I felt waves of pleasure crashing across my entire body.
I gasped.
“Fuck me already.”
Just when I thought he was going to plunge into me with his hard cock, he pulled out and stroked his head against the outer walls of my wet sex once again.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned. “Stop teasing me. I can’t take it anymore.”
He looked at me with his dark, lust-filled eyes and I melted.
“Say my name,” he commanded.
“Fuck me,” I whispered.
“Say it.”
“Fuck me Shadow, please just fuck me.”
The warm sensation as he immersed himself in my pussy was surreal while the strength of his hard cock pulsated deep within me. His thrusts were slow at first, but quickened in pace as he placed his hands on my knees and pushed my legs apart, forcing my inner-muscles to clench tightly around his cock.
He stared at me with fire in his eyes, moaning with every stroke. My hands gravitated to the nipples on his rock-hard chest, tugging on them. He seemed to enjoy it as his deep, fulfilling strokes became more urgent.
“Do you like getting fucked?”
“Yes!” I screamed. “I fucking love it!”
I closed my eyes and focused on the pleasure, the feeling of every hard inch slipping in and out of me. The sounds of our flesh slapping with every one of his movements, mixed with my screams and the creaking of the kitchen table drove me over the edge.
My orgasm seized my entire body as I screamed Shadow’s name at the peak of my climax. After a few more plunges, he too came, pulling out and spilling his cum all over my naked body.
I was still breathing heavily as he tossed me a roll of paper towels, which I used to clean myself up.
“Shadow, that was incredible,” I said, a wide smile on my face. He didn’t reply. Instead, his focus was on putting his pants back on. “Did you hear me Shadow?” I asked again, desperate for him to acknowledge me.
He nodded, that same stupid nod he gave me when I asked him not to break my heart—that ambivalent nod that punched me in the gut every time I realized I was being ignored.
Don’t do this to me Shadow, especially after all of this. Please, don’t do this to me.
I got off the table and walked slowly towards him.
“Can you at least look at me?” I asked. I must have sounded pitiful and fragile, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to acknowledge me, to make me know that what just happened here meant something to him—instead of a cheap, meaningless quickie.
He looked at me with complete complacency. It was worse than a slap across the face.
“You should put your clothes on,” he said.
I wanted to die.
He used me. I had bared my soul to him and in return he used my body to satisfy his needs. I felt stupid and foolish. I felt like a whore.
I scrambled to put my clothes back on, though my blouse was completely ruined. I had to hold it together with a fist, just so my bra wasn’t expose
d.
Shadow walked past me and grabbed a water bottle, turning his back to me. I had the urge to kick him in the spine. A shattered vertebrae for a broken heart seemed like a fair trade. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I heard Lincoln, whistling cheerfully from down the hall.
“Who wants sandwiches?” he asked in a light-hearted tone as he rounded the corner. However, as soon he stepped into the kitchen and saw the mess on the floor, his jaw dropped. His eyes turned towards me, staring at my right hand which was desperately trying to hold my blouse together.
“There’s been an accident,” Shadow said, gesturing at the scattered food on the kitchen floor.
“What accident?” Lincoln asked, shaking his head. “You tripped and fell into Aria while losing all your clothes in the process?”
Silence.
“I can see what happened here,” Lincoln sighed. “I just wish you’d moved the sandwiches out of the way. I’m starving.”
“I’ll clean it up,” Shadow said.
“You do that. In the meantime, I guess I’ll go get us a pizza,” he said. “When it arrives, try not to throw it on the floor, in case you suddenly have the urge to bone each other again.”
Lincoln headed out kitchen door, but stopped just short of the entranceway. He turned around and glanced at the sandwiches on the floor one more time.
“Seriously, there are people starving out there. Tossing food on the floor is a cardinal sin.”
So was using someone for sex, especially after you stomped on their heart for the last two weeks, I thought to myself.
When we were alone once again, Shadow began picking up the bread and meat off the floor, his eyes focused on his task, not bothering to look at me. .
“Do you need help?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, just before adding, “I’ll do it alone.”
Alone.
It was the perfect word to summarize how I was feeling at that very moment.
I was alone.
Chapter Four
Aria
“The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing humanity that he didn’t exist,” Lincoln said as he rummaged through the drawers of the makeup table. “Last I checked, I was still on several most wanted lists—not the ones I take pride in being on—therefore, we’ll need to take a page from Lucifer’s book and disappear as well.”
“Not a problem for me,” I replied. “I feel invisible already.”
I stared at my reflection in the broken mirror anchored to the table. It was smashed in the center, forming a cylindrical pattern of shattered glass. I felt as if I was looking through the eyes of a fly, the mirror reflecting hundreds of fragmented images of a sad girl, eyes stained red from tears.
Shadow had left an hour ago, without even a goodbye.
He was tearing me apart. For the past two weeks, every cold interaction we had with one another made me realize that his love for me was indeed fabricated by Calisto—that evil donkey bitch. With the flip of a switch, Shadow was able to reverse-engineer any sentimental emotions he ever felt for me. Rubbing salt into the wound, he had decided to pull me close only to fuck me, and then when it was all over he pushed me away again. It was the fuck-and-run trap that I fell right into.
Wham, bam, sayonara ma’am.
So where did that leave me now?
Not in a good place, that’s where.
Lincoln must have seen the look of self-loathing on my face. He walked over to me and rested a warm hand gently on my shoulder.
“He still loves you.”
For a moment, those words gave me a small flicker of hope, but it was quickly snuffed out by my own skepticism.
“Do you treat the ones you love like shit?” I asked.
Lincoln paused for a moment.
“Well, as they say, we always end up hurting the ones we love…” his voice trailed off for a moment, “Or vice-versa.”
He was thinking of Calisto. All this time, I was so focused on moping around in my own broken world that I didn’t take into consideration what Lincoln must have felt.
He had blood on his hands and blades in his heart.
But he seemed to take it well—better than I did.
“You can talk to me about anything you want,” I said. “Despite me being an emotional wreck, I still have two ears that can listen.”
Lincoln thought about it for a moment, and then shook his head. “Maybe another time.”
“You’ve been so busy trying to console me, who’s going to console you?”
“I didn’t think I needed consoling.” Though his mouth formed a smile as he spoke, his eyes told a different story. He was hurting, and badly.
“Why are men always so complicated with their emotions?”
Lincoln shrugged. “We are complex creatures in general. We tend to bottle everything up while women like expressing their emotions.”
“Why keep it in?”
“Sometimes, it’s easier not to say anything just to avoid further complications. And to be honest, we’re lazy too. We’d rather focus our time and energy on being productive instead of beating on old bones.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. I wanted to hold it together, I really did, but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Justin burning, and Shadow turning away from me. My best friend was dead and my lover treated me as if I were dead too.
My eyes began to fog up. It wasn’t long before tears formed watery lines down the side of my cheeks.
Lincoln looked at me sympathetically and frowned.
“He loves you. Trust me, he still does.”
“How can you be so sure?” I asked.
Lincoln took a seat next to me and brushed away a tear with his index finger. “Because I’ve seen this exact same thing happen before. You’re not the first person he’s loved.”
“Tell me,” I said, more of a demand than a request. I was desperate for some answers, just so I could understand what was going through that man’s head.
“It’s not really my place to say. It’s in the past, and why walk that road again when there’s a new one just over the horizon?”
“Please Lincoln,” I practically begged. “Just give me something to help me dull this pain. Help me understand Shadow.”
Lincoln thought about it for a moment, and then finally nodded.
“I guess it’s no surprise, but Shadow doesn’t get over things easily,” Lincoln began. “From what people told me, he’s like his father—obsessive. When Shadow’s focused on something, everything and everyone around him becomes secondary.”
“So Shadow’s obsessive nature gives him a free pass to act like a dick?” I asked.
“He’s pushing you away to protect you,” Lincoln said. “He did it once before to another woman he loved when things were getting too dangerous.”
“Did he bang her in the kitchen too, while trying to ‘protect’ her?” I asked.
Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck and shot me an ‘I have no idea’ look. “I believe he was thinking with the wrong head?”
Well I sure paid the price for Shadow’s alternative thinking. I felt stupid and cheap allowing Shadow in just like that. “So who was this girl, and why the need to protect her?” I asked, wanting to dig a little further.
“Being a part of the Midnight Society is not the safest gig in the world. The kinds of enemies we make are rich, powerful, and often belong in a psychiatric ward.”
“No kidding,” I said, remembering Calisto, hidden beneath that terrifying executioner’s outfit, while she annihilated everyone close to us.
I shuddered.
“I was sixteen at the time, climbing the ranks of the Midnight Society, when a war broke out between our organization and the Order of Ascension, a powerful religious sect based in Europe. Believe it or not, they had the backing of the Catholic Church at one point.”
“The Midnight Society went to war with a religious organization?”
“These maniacs had no association with God. They di
d have incriminating photos of a few high ranking cardinals of the church in the company of a bunch of barely legal Eastern-European prostitutes,” Lincoln said as he leaned back in his chair. “The Ascension claimed they were doing God’s work, but last I checked, I don’t think the lord almighty was an advocate of smuggling and distributing drugs, firearms, and under-aged women.”
I shook my head. “The church knew about all of this?”
“They must have, but what could they do?” Lincoln asked. “The Ascension had them all by the balls. Hell, they could have told the church to take down every cross and replace it with a smoked meat sandwich and they would have done it.”
I raised my brow.
“Hey, you have no idea how long I’d been craving a sandwich, only to have the opportunity stolen away from me because of your carnal kitchen acts.”
“Don’t remind me,” I said, embarrassed. “Getting back to the Ascension…”
“At the time, the Ascension was led by a charismatic man named Elias Rose, short for Rosencrantz, who, I swear, could charm the wool off a sheep’s back if he wanted. He was also a man of vision and wanted to expand his enterprise of guns, drugs, and sex slaves into our territory. The Midnight Society’s Council met with Rose and discussed the potential business venture. Guns and drugs we could sanction, with the hopes of controlling and regulating the market just so it didn’t turn into chaos, but the human trafficking we just couldn’t live with. What Rose was doing to these girls was inhumane. Many of them never got the chance to experience their childhood—kidnapped and thrust into the horrors of the illegal sex trade business.
“At the time, it was James and Brevin who did all the discussions, but things went south fast. Rose wasn’t pleased that we didn’t want anything to do with the Ascension.
“However, Rose wasn’t one to take no for an answer easily and retaliated by attacking Brevin’s family. From what I understand, it was only supposed to be a warning shot, but his four year old daughter was scared shitless. In a moment of panic, she ran onto the road and got hit by oncoming traffic. She suffered permanent brain damage and was reduced to a vegetative state.”
Penumbra (The Midnight Society #2) Page 3