Liam shook his head at their endless banter. “I don’t think I ever realized how noisy you two are. Do you ever stop giving each other a hard time?”
Tommy looked at Boone. Boone looked at Tommy. “Nope,” they both said at the same time and burst out laughing.
“I don’t even know what to say.” Liam guided King out of the corral. “You two are a couple of characters.”
“I know what you can say.” Tommy walked over to the fence and climbed up to sit next to Boone. “You can tell us what her name is.”
Liam looked at his brother with as much innocence as he could muster. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on. You’ve been moping around here ever since you got back two weeks ago. And there’s the way you’re always looking down at your phone as if you’re hoping for a message. Who is she, Liam? Some pretty California girl?”
“Yeah, whatever. I’m taking King back to the barn. We’re done here for the day and I still have to meet with Wyatt.”
Liam let King walk to the barn on a loose rein. He pulled off his hat and used a bandanna to wipe the sweat and grit off his face. It was only mid-May, but the temperature was creeping up into the eighties and the air was dry.
An image of waking up in Shelter Creek flashed in his mind. Early morning and the air all misty from the coastal fog that crept over the hills at night and left everything damp and rich. Liam had known he’d miss Trisha and Henry, but he hadn’t thought he’d miss Shelter Creek as much as he did.
He thought about it a lot. The picturesque town with its lively square. The way the whole community turned out for the art fair and the Easter celebration. Jace had told Liam that in the summertime, the Shelter Creek Rodeo was a big event. He’d love to show that to little Henry, with Trisha by his side.
But Trisha didn’t seem to want to be by his side. She hadn’t called, though she’d texted him a few photos of Henry. She hadn’t emailed either. And when he’d phoned her, their conversation was stilted. All the remnants of their last bitter conversation had settled like ash, covering all that was good between them.
He unsaddled King, rubbed him down and put him in his stall with a flake of alfalfa. Tommy was feeding tonight, but King deserved an extra snack for his hard work today. Then Liam went to meet Wyatt, to go over the steps they’d take to install a manure digester.
Wyatt was reading a web page when Liam got to the office. “We need to dig a big holding pond. And then we’ll need a separator for that,” he said by way of greeting.
“Hello to you, too,” Liam quipped. “And as for the digester, Jace was only just getting started on it, so I don’t have much personal experience. I just know what he explained to me. And that it’s expensive to set up.”
“But if we can get it set up, we can power our own ranch. With manure.” Wyatt’s inner geek was showing. “That’s so cool.”
Liam grinned. “It’s rare you show so much enthusiasm about something out on the ranch. Maybe you can be in charge of this process. Ranch and Manure Manager. I can see it written across a business card.”
Wyatt laughed. “I think I’ll leave that particular title off my card, if that’s all right with you. But it’s good to see you smile. You’ve been pretty serious since you got home.”
“Well, it’s felt pretty serious, with Dad having bypass surgery and all.”
“He’s out of the woods now, though. I bet he’ll be up and about and bossing us around any day.”
“Good to know.” Liam slumped back in his chair. “Maybe he’ll want to supervise the manure digester.”
“I sense a lack of enthusiasm. I thought your time in California would get you all revved up about this stuff.”
“It did. I’m sold. Glad we’re going organic and grass-fed.” Liam thought about what he’d gleaned in California. “Have you ever thought about how we manage predators out here?”
“Not really. If we see them, we shoot them. Why?”
“They do it differently out in California. Jace’s ranch, and the ranches around them, are trying to coexist with their coyotes and mountain lions, rather than shooting them on sight.”
“They’ve got a lot of rules out in California that we don’t have. Mountain lions and coyotes aren’t classified as game animals here. Which means we don’t need permits or anything to shoot.”
“But what if we didn’t shoot? What if we just scared them off?” He explained to Wyatt what he’d learned. “If you kill one coyote, other packs move into the territory. Then they have more young because they’ve got this new food supply.”
Wyatt shrugged. “You’ll have to talk to Dad about it. I don’t see him changing his ways about predators too quickly, though.” Wyatt looked at Liam with mild curiosity. “Did you like it out there in California?”
It was the perfect opening. A chance to tell his brother about Trisha and Henry. But Liam held back, just like he had ever since he’d come home. He’d told himself it was because they were all worried about their dad, and dealing with the hospital and the surgery and the aftermath. But now that Dad’s health crisis was under control, Liam had to admit that wasn’t the only reason.
If he told his family about Trisha and Henry, they’d see it differently than him. They’d see it as one more mistake he’d made when he was addicted to the pills. And he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his cool if they started making jokes and comments. Or if they saw the people Liam loved the most as consequences he had to live with.
Yet he’d made Trisha feel that exact way. He hadn’t meant to. He’d tried to speak from his heart that night, but either it had come out all wrong or she just couldn’t hear him. Maybe she didn’t want to hear him. She was so self-protective—maybe she was incapable of feeling deeply for someone.
Except she clearly adored Henry. And she said she loved Liam, too. But she didn’t trust him. Not enough to truly commit to him. Maybe she still saw him as the young guy who didn’t know himself well. Who went along with whatever impulse grabbed him next. Who didn’t have the guts to go after what he wanted.
He stood up suddenly, disturbed to the core. He was that guy. Sitting here in his brother’s office, when what he really wanted was to be in California.
“You okay, Liam?”
Liam winced at the worry on his brother’s face. Wyatt, too, saw him as incompetent. As needing constant worry and watching so he didn’t go off the rails again. He needed to get out of here. To think about who he was, and what he needed to do, and how he was going to do it. “I think I’ll go for a ride,” he told Wyatt. “I’ve got to clear my head.”
“All right. Suit yourself. See you in a while.”
“See you.” Liam jogged to the barn with a sense of urgency he hadn’t felt in a while. Not since he’d left Shelter Creek and Trisha and Henry and everything that really mattered to him. At the barn he threw a saddle on Delta, a big black quarter horse that he’d ridden for years. He slipped the bridle on and mounted, taking the trail out to the bluff overlooking the ranch. It had been his mom’s favorite spot and it was where Liam came whenever he wanted to feel close to her. Her spirit was here, at least for him. He’d come here after rehab, to apologize for his weakness. For his lack of care for the body she’d grown and nurtured so carefully with square meals and love.
He stopped at the edge of the bluff, where it was all view and sky and air. He closed his eyes, remembering his mother’s voice, her laugh, her smile. “I’ve got a son, Ma. I’ve got a baby boy. His name is Henry, and he’s got your curls and his mother’s big blue eyes. He’s the cutest little guy.”
He waited. For what, he wasn’t sure. Maybe her voice, wrapped up in the whisper of wind that rustled the grass out here.
“I want to be a good dad,” he confessed to the empty space. “I want to take care of both of them, but I’m twenty-six years old and all I know is this ranch and the rodeo an
d I don’t think I can do either of those anymore.” He was breathing more heavily now, fighting back tears he didn’t even know he had in him, it had been so long since he’d cried.
“And, Ma, I keep asking myself, how can I be a good dad? Less than two years ago I was strung out on drugs, living from pill to pill. I stole, Ma. You know that. I told you out here, after rehab. But it haunts me, you know? I’m someone who is capable of committing a crime, and now I’m supposed to be an example to a kid?”
Tears ran down his face and he let them come. Just sat on Delta’s back and looked at the view and cried, the dry wind wicking at his damp skin, hissing gently through the grass, as soothing as his mom’s hand on his back. He could almost hear her telling him it would be okay.
The first stars were glimmering when Liam turned Delta back toward the ranch. Despite the dark, the sure-footed gelding knew the way, so Liam gave him a loose rein and let him find the path. By the time they reached the barn, Liam felt more clearheaded than he could remember being in his entire life. He hadn’t just come back to Texas to fulfill his past obligations—he’d been scared about his new ones. Returning home wasn’t just about loyalty to his family—it was about his fears about starting a new one. Fear that he couldn’t be a good father or a good husband. Fear that he didn’t have as good a handle on his addiction as he thought. Fear of striking out on his own, on a new ranch in a new place.
The wind, his mom’s hand, whatever it was that he’d felt this evening, had assured him that he could do this. He could create the life of his dreams, if he only mustered the courage to start.
Liam led Delta into his stall and slipped the bridle off him. The big horse immediately went to his manger to start in on the hay waiting there. As Liam pulled off the saddle, he knew it was time to move on from his life here in Texas. He could see his future so clearly, in Shelter Creek, with Trisha. He could even see the path he’d need to take to get himself there.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TRISHA LOOKED AROUND at The Book Biddies, gathered in Lillian’s living room for the emergency meeting Vivian had called. Trisha was sitting on the couch, with Vivian on one side of her and Lillian on the other. Annie was cuddling Henry in the armchair by the fireplace. Everyone was drinking the margaritas Lillian and Emily had concocted. They were looking at Trisha expectantly and she was trying to think of what to say.
“I love Liam,” she blurted out.
“Well, of course you do,” Lillian said mildly.
“He wants me to live in Texas,” Trisha told them. Just saying the words twisted her stomach in knots. “And I don’t want to leave Shelter Creek.” She looked at Emily and Maya, who were sitting across the room. “I love working for you two.”
“We love having you.” Maya’s smile was kind.
“But I’m considering moving to Texas anyway.” There. It was out. And from the stunned looks on everyone’s faces, it wasn’t what they’d been expecting. “I want to visit and see what it’s like.”
“Good for you.” Monique raised her glass. “It’s a great idea. You two are meant to be together. Anyone can see it.”
“You certainly deserve a vacation,” Kathy said. “How long has it been since you took time off work?”
“Maternity leave,” Trisha said. “And before that was the trip to San Antonio. Where I met Liam. And got Henry.”
“How romantic,” Kathy said. “Flying across the country in pursuit of love.”
“But if I go, what about my jobs? Emily, Maya, who will assist you?”
“We’ll find someone to substitute while you’re gone,” Emily said. “I have a roster of substitute assistants for my clinic. Maybe one of those people can cover for you at my practice and at the wildlife center.”
“And Carly loves to help with the animals,” Vivian added. “I can give her some part-time work caring for wildlife, if we need extra help.”
Trisha felt as if they’d removed weights from her ankles, and now she could suddenly fly free. It was frightening, but she was so tired of letting her fear keep her tethered.
“Okay, then.” Trisha squared her shoulders. “I’m going to go to Texas to show Liam that I love him. It’s not a solution, but it’s a start.”
“And then come back here as soon as possible.” Lillian put her arm around Trisha. “Because we will miss you, very much.”
“But what if I hate it there?” Trisha looked around at her friends. “I don’t think I can stay unless it’s a nice place.”
“Don’t borrow trouble.” Monique’s voice was firm. “Cross that bridge when you come to it.” She burst out laughing and looked at the margarita in her hand. “This magic elixir is making me speak in clichés.”
It eased the tension in the room perfectly. Everyone laughed and Emily raised her glass. “To Trisha. Being strong.”
Trisha took a deep breath and looked at Henry, who was bouncing on Annie’s knee. “Henry, I think we’re heading to Texas.”
“Let’s look at plane tickets,” Vivian said. “Lillian, can we borrow your computer?”
“I’ll help you pack,” Eva offered. “I’ve got the capsule wardrobe down pat.”
“We’ll drive you to the airport,” Priscilla said. “Me, Lillian and Kathy, since we’re retired. Do you want to leave tomorrow?”
Trisha looked around the room in astonishment. “Why are you all so excited to get rid of me?”
Vivian put an arm around her and squeezed. “Because you’re in love with Henry’s daddy. And we want you to be happy. Even if you have to go to Texas to do it.”
* * *
“I’VE GOT SOMETHING to tell you all.” Liam looked around the old pine table in the main house dining room. They still gathered there for Sunday night supper, even though Liam, Boone and Tommy shared a bunkhouse now, and Wyatt had an apartment over the garage.
Dad leaned back in his chair, looking so much thinner and older than he had before. “This doesn’t sound like good news.”
“Depends on how you look at it, I guess.” But his father’s words caused Liam some unease. Maybe it was wrong to spring this on Dad suddenly. What if it caused another problem with his heart?
But how did you ease into telling someone that you had a kid? He’d just have to do his best.
“Almost two years ago now, I went to my friend Clint’s wedding in San Antonio. I met a woman there and we hit it off pretty well. But then I left and we didn’t stay in touch.”
Liam realized he was sugarcoating things to make himself look better, one of the things he’d learned not to do, back in rehab. “Well, the truth is, I spent the night with her, then walked out without leaving a note or anything.”
“You dog,” Boone said.
“It’s not an excuse, but I was using at the time. I wasn’t on my best behavior anywhere I went.”
“I remember this,” Wyatt said. “This was the night before we took you to rehab. You were going on and on about this woman.”
“That’s right.” Boone ran a hand through his hair. “We all thought you’d had a hallucination or something.”
“Nope. She was real.” He took a breath and went for it. “Turns out she’s from the same town as Jace. Shelter Creek, California. And she had a baby. A son named Henry. He’s my kid.”
Liam watched his dad carefully, looking for signs of cardiac arrest. But his father just looked shocked. Then, unexpectedly, he smiled. “A son? You have a son?”
His brothers seemed stunned into silence, something Liam could not remember happening in their entire family history. He addressed his father. “You have a grandson. His name is Henry and he just turned a year old. He’s cute as a button. And he’s got Mom’s curly hair.”
His father stared at him with an interest Liam was not used to seeing there. “Well, I’ll be. Why are you here, and not there?”
“You had a heart problem, Dad. Remember?�
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“I’m fine now. Is she coming out here? Are you moving there? You’ll take responsibility for this, Liam.”
Liam put his hands out to try to stop his father’s impending lecture. “I asked her to marry me. She hasn’t said yes yet. I’m hoping I can convince her, though.”
That woke his brothers out of their trance. “You mean you two have a kid together and she still doesn’t want to marry you?” Tommy grinned. “That must sting a little.”
“Ouch,” Boone echoed.
Wyatt was looking misty-eyed. “That’s amazing. Congratulations, little brother.”
“Thanks, Wyatt.” Liam turned to his father. “I want to sell my share of this ranch. I want to start my own operation, out in Shelter Creek. It’s where Trisha wants to raise Henry. And I respect her enough to go along with that.”
A silence settled on the table. “If that’s what you want, Liam, we’ll work something out,” his father said. “But we’ll be sorry to see you go.”
“I don’t love the idea of living so far away from you all,” Liam told him. “I never thought I’d live anywhere but Texas. But my home is where they are. I’ve realized that now.” He glanced over at his brothers and grinned. “And the weather sure is a lot nicer out in California. I’ll be thinking of you all while I’m riding through that cool summer coastal fog, and you’re out here sweating in 105 degrees.”
“Okay, now I pretty much hate you,” Tommy said, and Boone busted out laughing.
They talked a little more, asking questions about Henry, and what Shelter Creek was like. Liam tried to explain it all, and showed them photos, too. But it was hard to paint the whole picture—the pretty houses, the nicely maintained streets, the redwoods, the hills. And how he felt about Trisha and Henry. There were no adequate words for that.
Mostly what he felt was his mother’s spirit, that sense of having her blessing, which he’d carried with him since his ride the other day. He was stepping up, taking control of his life, and she was proud of him, wherever she was.
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