“Yes?” She pressed back against him, reveling in the sensations of his mouth on her skin.
He breathed in her ear, tickling it with his fevered breath. “I am leaving soon.”
Anya’s belly knotted as her heart dropped. “Could we not talk about this now and simply enjoy the time we have together?”
“Please. Let me continue.” Merivic nibbled her neck, causing her breath to catch and the knots to loosen into a quiver. “Will you marry me?”
Anya snapped out of the sensual haze she was drifting in, and her whole frame stiffened.
He constricted his arms, his mouth against her hair. “Do not respond now. I only wish you to think about it.”
Anya eased away and he loosened his hold as she twisted to face him.
Merivic rubbed the back of his neck, then scrubbed his shorn dirty-blond hair, glancing into her wide eyes.
“Um… I…” He took a deep breath as his hand dropped. “There was possibly a more tactful way to propose.”
“Marry you?”
He took her hands, clasping them together under his chin. “Please, hear me out.”
Merivic stared into her eyes to ensure she was willing to listen, only speaking again when he was sure he had her full attention.
“Four years ago I began hosting seasonal masquerade balls in various territories, starting with those closest to my kingdom, and then spiraling out. I was searching for someone special; someone to catch my eye and hold me there, someone who could make my heart hammer and my palms sweaty—I was searching for someone to take as my wife.
“Two years ago, I met you, Anya. Every season since, I have come back to see you, using the ball as a guise to spend time with you, to ensure you were the one.” He raised her hands and kissed them, his eyes locking on hers. “You are the main reason why I have stayed this summer, and I know now, without a doubt, you are the woman for me. That is, if you will have me, of course.”
Anya’s chest was tight, her stomach alive with flutters. She opened her mouth to speak, but could find no words.
“Shh, I am not yet finished,” Merivic whispered, putting a finger to her lips. “I never knew love could be so strong. So commanding. So consuming. I find myself wishing to give you everything I have, anything you could possibly want. Even that in which you would not think to ask for.”
He closed his eyes, holding her hands to his mouth. “It is because of this love that I want you to have the final say. I asked your father for your hand and he readily agreed, but I once again insisted that it be your decision to make.” Merivic opened his eyes and gazed longingly into her eyes. “As it always has been with me, Anya, the choice is yours. I would rather you choose to be with me than be made to feel it is expected of you. I only ask that you take the time to think about it before making your decision.”
She nodded stiffly, her eyes still wide, as he lowered her hands.
“I love you, Anya.” Merivic slowly leaned in and whispered a kiss against her parted lips. “For me, there could be no other.”
Chapter 8
The morning sun greeted Anya early, shining through the open window to brighten the back of her lids, rousing her from a restless slumber. Unable to bring herself to face the day, she lay staring at the knotted, wooden beams in the ceiling. All the same questions harassing her late into the night continued to scatter through her mind. She briefly wondered if there was an easy answer for any of them.
Anya reluctantly dragged herself out of bed and dressed for the day, dimly hoping the routine of doing so would magically bring her some measure of clarity. When that failed miserably, she trudged toward the stairs and descended into the cookery, now hoping a warm breakfast would be a better assist.
Perhaps this is how I will make it through the day, Anya thought. Seeking solutions from one mundane activity to the next. Did a decisive answer even exist?
“Good morning, Father.”
Chiberus’ back stiffened as his daughter approached from behind. He had wanted to avoid her this day, and was sure he would be gone long before she awoke. He cursed his luck as Anya settled on the opposite side of the table.
“Anya.” He mumbled his greeting, barely lifting his gaze from his plate.
Anya eyed up her father, trying to read his mood as she resolved to seek his guidance. He was normally a very strong judge of character, and she was curious as to what his thoughts on Merivic truly were—aside from his stature as a lord, and his stability as a potential husband.
“Father—”
He lurched to his feet, interrupting her. “Sedalene will tend to your meal.” And without another word, he strode out of the room.
Bewildered, Anya stared after her him, certain she had just witnessed not fear, but a restrained agitation she had never known him to possess before. He was always solid in his demeanor, and more than forthcoming with his opinions—which was why she had decided to seek his council. And what had just happened nearly left her speechless, for in the solitary glance he cast in her direction, she had—for the first time ever—observed a vulnerability about him. He was holding something back, something he did not wish her to see, and the struggle was apparent in the split-second he held her eyes.
Anya’s chest tightened as her thoughts whirled. What is he hiding from me? And what does it mean?
“Good morning,” Sedalene sang, drifting into the room with a crystal vase full of wild flowers. “Is this not the most beautiful arrangement you have ever seen?”
Anya was still staring at the empty doorway her father had disappeared through.
Sedalene set the vase on the table. “Anya?”
“Hmm?” Her eyes flickered to the flowers, and her tension lessened. “Oh! They are gorgeous,” she gushed, leaning in to inhale their sweet scent. “Where did you find them?”
“They were sent for you.”
Anya’s eyes narrowed, but the corner of her mouth twitched. “Merivic?”
Sedalene grinned, handing Anya a sealed piece of parchment. “Merivic? Rather informal now, are we not?”
Anya flushed, completely missing her nanny’s mirth as she snatched the letter out of her hand. “Seda, he insisted I address him by his first name only.”
“Yes, my child. I was merely teasing you.”
“Oh. My apologies.” Anya broke the wax seal and could not help but smile as she read the message.
“Well, what does it say?”
“Nothing,” Anya murmured, slipping the note into her pocket.
“Apparently, it was something, or you would be able to contain the smile upon your face.”
Anya folded her hands on the table and nodded to where Chiberus had been sitting. Sedalene accepted the invitation by slowly sinking into the chair.
“Merivic proposed to me last night.” The expectant expression on her nanny’s face told Anya she had already heard. “Who told you?”
“Your father.” She clasped her hands around Anya’s, her eyes sparkling. “Such excitement you will find with this man!”
“I suppose I would.” Anya could not match the level of her enthusiasm, although she did find pleasure in the thought of a possible future with Merivic.
Sedalene’s shoulders pulled back. “You are not thinking of denying his proposal, are you?”
Anya shrugged as she offered a feeble smile.
“You do not love him?”
“No…at least, not yet. But it would be very easy to grow to love him.”
“Then why do you hesitate?”
“I am surprised you do not already know.”
“Kael?” Sedalene’s eyes widened, her tone saturated with incredulity.
Anya nodded meekly as she averted her gaze, almost embarrassed to admit she was still holding onto the dream of a man she had not seen in two years.
“You have not spoken of him in quite some time.” She squeezed Anya’s hands. “And you have been so happy, especially since Lord Merivic became a greater presence in your life.”
“But,
what if…” The hopeful words died in her throat as a shadow passed over Sedalene’s pleasant expression.
“Anya, my child. I love you dearly, which is why I will say what I must, no matter how much it hurts for you to hear it.”
Anya seized with trepidation, certain she would not like what her nanny had to say.
“Kael has been gone for many years now, and not once has he attempted to write you a simple letter. His family has heard from him, as you well know. And yet, you have not. It is obvious he has settled in his new life, and has found his own calling—one that does not include you by his side. You are only fooling yourself if you choose to wait for him and deny yourself any measure of happiness in the meantime. You must stop pining for that man, and seek out your own future. In Lord Merivic, you have a handsome, respectful man who adores you and wishes to spend the rest of his life with only you. You owe it to yourself to be open to that very real possibility.”
Tears welled in Anya’s eyes. Sedalene’s words dove deep, biting into her soul, and leaving a bitter aftertaste behind. But she knew them to be true. Kael had not reached out to her, and there could only be one reason as to why—he did not want her.
“Do not cry, Anya. I know it is painful, but if you look deep down, you will find you have already known this truth for quite some time. And how could you not?” Sedalene asked gently, cupping Anya’s face. “Now, my child, look to what could be, to what experiences you could have, to what happiness you have already known these past few months. This man—Lord Merivic—lightens your heart and puts the bounce back into your step. I have seen it. Why is it you cannot?”
A fresh round of tears pooled in Anya’s eyes as her words hit home. Yes, she had come to know the truth long ago. Yes, Merivic made her very happy. And yes, she was excited to see what her future held. But it was also what ultimately held her back—the unknowns of this new man, of a new love. With Merivic there would be nothing but clues to decipher and mysteries to unlock, whereas before there was the security of knowing another with no surprises. How could she truly be certain of her happiness one month from now, or even two, much less all the years that followed?
“What did Father say, when he told you of the proposal?”
Sedalene sat back, breaking contact. “Why do you ask?”
“He disappeared the moment I attempted to talk to him about it. Does he not approve of Merivic?”
“Of course, he does. He readily granted your hand, but Lord Merivic insisted you be the one to decide.”
Anya nodded. “Merivic told me it was up to me. But I still wanted Father’s impressions of the man.”
“You father cherishes you, Anya. He would not have agreed had he not thought it was a fine pairing—no matter his background or standing. But he will not tell you this himself.”
“Why not?”
“Lord Merivic was kind enough to have what you desired be the most important factor—first above all else. And your father wishes to comply, and let you seek your own happiness. That is why he avoids you; he also wishes the decision to come from your heart, and does not want to influence you in any way.”
Anya stared at the flowers as she slipped into her thoughts. Lord Merivic was a kind and gracious man, rising above the hardships he and his family had suffered, and continuing to exude a strong spirit in face of it all. He easily drew out her compassion and consideration, all while tugging her heart toward a love she would not be able to deny for long.
Anya knew her father’s position now, that he unquestionably wanted this future for her—a future with Merivic. Her loyalty for her father tipped her decision toward acceptance, but it was not just allegiance that guided her—she trusted his instincts as well.
Sedalene rose and circled the table, coming to a halt to kiss the top of her head. “I know you will make the right decision.”
Anya smiled and looked up at Sedalene as everything clicked into place, and she knew without a doubt and with all of her heart, what she must do. “I believe I already have.”
Her nanny searched her eyes and her face brightened. “Yes, I can see you have.” She pulled Anya to her feet, enveloping her in a great hug as she laughed, and cried. “Such adventures you will have, Anya, and such happiness. Lord Merivic will treat you well, and you will share an unforgettable love. I am certain of it.”
Sedalene pulled back, her hands still on Anya’s shoulders, and she beamed. Anya smiled in return and giggled as she scrubbed at her tears with the back of her hand.
“You should go tell your father at once. He will be so pleased!”
Anya knew her father would be happy with her decision, but her mirth faded when she thought of the unavoidable consequences.
“What is it?”
“I will miss you both so much.”
“Oh,” Sedalene scoffed as she waved her hand in the air. “We will have plenty of time to worry about that.” She hooked her arm around Anya’s as she led her out of the room. “We have a wedding to plan first, and we need to begin straight away. There is so much to prepare for.”
“I wonder…”
“Yes?”
“Do you think Merivic will be able to stay for the preparations, or will he have to leave and come back? Surely he cannot be absent from his kingdom for much longer.”
“He can if he has good people in his stead. But if he should have to leave, I cannot imagine he would do so for very long.” Sedalene rubbed Anya’s forearm. “Do not fret, my child. You know he could not tolerate being away from you for any length of time.”
“Thank you, Seda. Oh, I will miss you dearly when the time does arise.”
“As I will miss you, my dear Anya. You are like a daughter to me.” Sedalene pointedly looked away as her voice caught with emotions. Clearing her throat, she continued, “But you will not be rid of us so quickly. Your father and I will be sure to visit often.”
Anya laughed and leaned her head onto her nanny’s shoulder. “You had better. And maybe the time on the road together will finally bring you two together.”
Sedalene stiffened. “Whatever are you talking about?”
“Oh, stop, Seda. I know how you feel about Father. With me no longer around to tend to, you should see what can become of it.”
“Anya! I do not—”
“Please,” Anya protested, rolling her eyes. “It is obvious, so do not even attempt to deny it.”
Sedalene’s face warmed as they entered the training room and spotted Chiberus sparring with another soldier. She leaned down to Anya’s ear, never averting her gaze from Chiberus across the way. “Do you think he knows?” she whispered.
“He has not a clue,” Anya hissed back. “But you can change that.” She winked at Sedalene as she unhooked her arm and called out to her father.
“Well,” her nanny mumbled, smoothing out her dress as Chiberus approached. “I will leave you two alone.” She turned on her heel and nearly sprinted from the room.
Anya held in her giggle as she watched Seda retreat. She did not want to be in the position to explain her mirth to her father who might ask for the cause, especially since he had most certainly witnessed Sedalene’s hasty exit.
“Where is Sedalene off to in such a hurry?”
Anya shrugged, feigning an innocent expression. “Do you have a moment? I would like to speak with you about Lord Merivic.”
*****
“So, what did he say?” Sedalene inquired, pulling up the back of Anya’s evening gown.
“Oh, Seda, you should have seen his face! I do not think I have ever seen Father so happy.”
“I regret to have missed that.” She yanked the back of the dress together and hooked the top, causing Anya to gasp. “I apologize, my child. I may have pulled it up too high.” She eased the garment down a bit and buttoned it up. “There we go!”
“Oh. Where did those come from?”
“What?” Sedalene spun Anya around. “Oh, my!”
“Indeed.” Anya stared down at her breasts, pushed up by the
tight, low-cutting fabric into very definable, fleshy mounds.
“They came from the cut of the dress. Apparently, it was designed for women not quite as full as yourself.”
Anya giggled nervously as she bounced in place, testing the restraint of the material to ensure her breast would not simply slip out.
“Appears to be secure,” Sedalene commented. “Thankfully you are accepting Lord Merivic’s proposal. I do not think he could handle a rejection looking as you do. The heartbreak would sting tenfold.”
Anya burst into a laugh. “I do not know, Seda. This”—she gestured to her chest— “might be enough to break his heart as well. Especially when he comes to realize the exaggeration of it all.”
“Anya!” Sedalene clasped her hand over her mouth, but chuckled along with her. “Such things you say.”
Anya smiled at her nanny as she continued to fuss over her, and her thoughts wondered to Merivic and the night ahead. Her chest was tight and her belly alive with flutters. She could barely wait to see him and accept his proposal, for now that she had decided her future, she was eager to embrace it and start anew.
Chapter 9
Chiberus led Anya to the familiar gardens of the great hall as they awaited Merivic, who was still greeting his guests. She absentmindedly fiddled with her amulet as her belly tightened into knots, trying to determine the perfect way to accept his proposal so it would be memorable for them both.
“Anya, you must settle down. You are making me nervous as well.”
She issued a strained giggle as she pulled her wrap tight around her shoulders. “My apologies, Father. I am just excited, is all.”
His black eyes softened as he watched her pace in front of him. “As well you should be. You will have such a grand life, Anya. Better than any I could have hoped to provide for you.”
Anya looked to her father, saw the emotions swelling under the surface, and it warmed her heart. She stepped closer, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you, Father, for giving me such a wonderful life—both now with Merivic and while growing up. I could not have asked for more.”
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