Cassie: Um…no.
Andy smiled. He wanted to ask why she hadn’t told Aunt Sue why she’d broken up with him…instead he sent a frowning emoji and an LOL.
He sighed. It never occurred to him that she would keep the same number. When she’d said she needed space, he assumed she’d cut off her means of contact. Not that Andy would have tried to call her after that…
He started the car and drove through town. Romance was sporting enough Christmas decorations to make Whoville jealous.
How he wished Christmas didn’t remind him of the day Cassie broke his heart.
***
“Aunt Sue, please don’t bring up our relationship around Andy again. I’m sure it only makes us both uncomfortable.”
“Are you ever going to tell me the real reason you came back to Romance?” Sue sat in her recliner and lifted her eyebrows at her niece.
“I told you, I’m here to help you. You need to take it easy after your heart attack. And, besides, it gives me a chance to stay in one place and write another book.”
Aunt Sue folded her arms; nothing in her expression indicated she was convinced.
Cassie massaged her forehead. “Also…I hoped Andy would forgive me for refusing his proposal again and leaving.”
“He proposed?”
“He claims he proposed three times, but it was actually two because I slept through the first one and it was really stupid.”
Aunt Sue’s eyes bugged out. “Please, go on.”
“The first one I remember was after high school graduation. It was sweet, but we were too young and I refused. We talked about it and everything was okay. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about the radio proposal.”
“Radio? No, I only listen to NPR.”
“He proposed to me on the Beaver Jam. It was ridiculous. They were doing a stunt, collecting proposal stories from listeners. How could I take it seriously? We had a big fight after that and weren’t quite the same. But I was taking the job with Travel There anyway. It wouldn’t have worked. I didn’t want to give up that opportunity.”
“I’m sure Andy wouldn’t have wanted you to.”
“Long distance never works.”
“You really don’t think that boy would have followed you around the world?”
Cassie hugged herself tightly. She’d never considered asking him to go with her. “He wanted to get married, Aunt Sue.”
“You were scared.”
Cassie nodded, wishing things had been different. “How could I not be? You know what happened with my parents.”
“I understand, sweetheart. But as long as that boy stayed by your side, I don’t think he ever would have left you.”
Cassie’s eyes glistened and she blinked, not wanting to cry in front of Aunt Sue.
“It’s over.”
Aunt Sue leaned forward and took Cassie’s hand in hers. “Only if you give up.”
“I don’t know if he has any feelings left for me.”
“In my day, the best way to find out if a boy liked you was to see if you could make him jealous.”
Cassie leaned back on the couch. “Aunt Sue, don’t be silly.”
Aunt Sue shrugged. “Have it your way, darling.”
Granny Mary had three rehearsals scheduled for the coming week. Cassie and Andy would be spending a lot of time together whether they liked it or not.
Chapter Seven
Granny’s nose wrinkled at Andy. He thought he’d gotten his line right, but she obviously didn’t approve.
“Try it with a wee bit more feeling, lad. I want to be sitting here crying for yer pain. Now if you lost the love of yer life and it was yer own selfish fault, how would ya be feeling?” Granny folded her arms and held his gaze without blinking.
He met Cassie’s eyes and she pressed her lips together. There he was standing next to his ex-girlfriend, knowing exactly what it was like to lose the love of his life.
It wasn’t exactly the same―he hadn’t ever put money before Cassie―but why did he need to play that role with her on stage?
He practically growled out, “What idol has displaced you?”
Before Cassie could respond with her line, Granny smacked her lips. “Andrew, we aren’t looking for an angry response here. Go for shock and dismay.”
“Why wouldn’t he be angry?” Andy gestured to Cassie. “She’s breaking up with him.”
“I’ll be the director here, thank you very much.” Granny narrowed her eyes. “Scrooge is so wrapped up in acquiring wealth, he doesn’t see this coming. You see?”
“Can we take a water break?”
Granny rolled her eyes. “Go on, try it again. Show me some shock and dismay.”
Andy and Cassie ran through their lines, then Granny asked them to do it again because they said them too fast. The second time, Granny said there was not enough shock and too much dismay in Andy’s response. On their third time through, there was too much shock. Andy saw that coming because he’d intentionally exaggerated a wide-eyed, open-mouthed reaction.
Cassie giggled. He had always loved the sound of her laughter and he smiled. It was a situation he’d never thought they would be in.
Granny was not amused they found anything funny, and made them run through the lines a fourth time. Would Granny ever realize he was a terrible actor and fire him? Soon she sent them off stage and Andy went to sit in the front row below. Cassie followed and sat in the seat beside him. Every other time they’d sat down there she’d left a seat between them.
“Thankfully it’s a very small role.” Andy rubbed the back of his neck, breathing in her intoxicating floral scent. “You’re doing well.”
“So are you.” Cassie fiddled with her fingers. “Aunt Sue is already nearly finished with your costume.”
“Great.”
Cassie finally looked at him directly. “I’m really sorry she brought up the past.”
Andy waved his hand dismissively. “We better get used to it, I think. Especially since Granny probably has an ulterior motive in giving me this role.”
“You think she set you up?” Cassie blushed, bringing out a sparkle in her eyes. “Maybe she just wanted to get you in the Christmas spirit. She told me you aren’t playing enough Christmas songs.”
“Still?” Andy groaned. “I do have to take commercial breaks occasionally.”
“It’s my fault you’re not very happy this Christmas, isn’t it? You never used to dislike this time of year.”
“I don’t dislike Christmas.” Andy clenched his teeth. The feelings were still raw, but being close to her, watching the sadness in her eyes, made him want to throw it all under the bridge. He reached out a hand to her; she grasped it and shook it. “Look, if it will make you feel better, I’ll wear that jingle bell necklace to the next rehearsal.”
Cassie’s eyebrows lifted and she began to laugh.
“That would help, right?” He released her, his hand buzzing from her touch. “More than playing in Scrooge’s breakup scene.”
Cassie pressed her lips together, her cheeks puffing out from holding back more laughter.
“Did we get the most depressing part of the play?”
“Of course not, the most depressing scene is the Ghost of Christmas Future showing Scrooge what’s coming with Tiny Tim…then he falls in his own grave…”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
She patted his arm. “I get it, though, we have some depressing roles. We will be in the Fezziwig party scene. That will be cheerful.”
Her smile had his heart pounding. Why did she still have such an effect on him?
“Speaking of the Ghost of Christmas Future, there he is…” Cassie nodded toward the stage. Wally Schwartz pretended to be terrified of the tall teenager with a black sheet over his head.
The future was frightening, Andy knew. He didn’t know if he would ever find a love he could share with someone forever. And he didn’t know how to get past the memories of Cassie, when she was sitting right beside him.
> ***
Cassie had gotten a text from her agent days ago, saying she was scheduled for a book signing at the local shop, Pages of Romance, that Thursday. When the morning dawned, Cassie was excited and more than a little nervous.
Her first book event, in the town she’d grown up in, might be a little awkward. She’d likely see many familiar faces. And they’d have questions about why she’d come back…and about Andy. Maybe he was right. Maybe they did just need to get used to it.
She was there right at 9:30, before the shop opened. Cassie knocked on the glass door, and an older lady let her in and introduced herself as Greta, one of the booksellers. The shop had a table for her with a stack of her books and several pens laid out. She lifted one and grinned to see her name on them. There was an additional folding table set up that was currently empty.
She sat in the chair behind the table and breathed in deeply. How Cassie loved the smell of books. The shop was filled to capacity with shelves of them. Each shelf was adorned with greenery and large red bows. A Christmas tree was set up behind the book display in the front window.
“The Beaver Jam will be here at ten.” Greta carried over a box filled with more of her books and set it on the floor beside Cassie.
“What?” Cassie’s throat clenched.
“It’s going to be great publicity.” Greta didn’t seem to notice Cassie’s discomfort. “They’ll be broadcasting live till noon. We’re hoping it pulls in a good crowd to the shop today.” Greta tapped a finger on one of Cassie’s books. “Be sure to suggest these as Christmas gifts for everyone on their list.”
Cassie forced a smile. She was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of self-promotion. But maybe that was another thing she would have to get used to.
A van pulled up, sporting the red beaver logo of 96.1 the Beaver Jam. A team of guys worked on carrying in equipment and setting up on the table beside her. At exactly ten o’clock, as Greta flipped the Open sign over, Andy walked in and chuckled at her as she sat there staring in surprise.
“What’s so funny?” Cassie had no idea how he felt about this assignment, and she held her breath waiting for him to speak.
“You look like your ex-boyfriend just walked in.”
Cassie relaxed her shoulders and lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “I had no idea you’d be here this morning. You never mentioned it last night at rehearsal.”
“This was pretty last minute. My producer was peeved that your interview was cut short, and he told me about it at five o’clock this morning.” He busied himself getting his mic and headphones ready while the team brought in a few boxes of Beaver Jam swag. There were pens, hats, magnets, and keychains sporting a beaver.
“Really?”
“It’s a small town, but things move fast at the Beaver Jam.” Andy sat down, placing his laptop on the table, then sent her a goofy side smile. “Especially when Jack forgets to tell me his plans.”
“Is your morning show over?”
“Yep, this is overtime. Don’t worry, it’ll be great buzz for your book.”
Cassie felt her heartbeat speeding up. She wondered if he’d read any of her book. Could she outright ask if he’d seen the dedication page? She wanted to open it and show it to him. But who was she kidding? The book that focused on her world travels wouldn’t be something he ever wanted to open. Unless it was out of curiosity…
“Good morning, Romance,” Andy announced into the mic attached to his headphones. The shop was playing his station over their speakers. “This is AJ McKay and you’re listening to 96.1 KROM, the Beaver Jam. We’re broadcasting live from the Pages of Romance book shop today with local author Cassie Winston.”
Cassie gulped and tugged on his arm. “My pen name is C. W. Loveless.”
“But first, here’s a Christmas tune to get you started.” Andy clicked on something with his mouse and the opening chimes of “Silver Bells” rang out. “Oh, and I’d like to dedicate this one to my granny Mary.” Then slipped his headphones back. His brown hair was ruffled. It was longer than Cassie had seen it last, and she wanted so much to reach out and run her hands through it again.
Andy raised an eyebrow at her and Cassie turned her eyes away. “What is it? Granny still wants me playing more Christmas songs.”
“You’re doing great.” Cassie focused her eyes on the book in front of her.
“Why are you using a pen name? Doing a book signing in your hometown won’t keep your identity a secret.”
“Somehow a pen name feels safer. I realize not for events like this.” Cassie waved a hand to indicate the shop. “But anyone who has already read my book won’t know me by my real name.” She shrugged. “Okay, this is probably wishful thinking that someone around town has read my book and become a fan.”
“Why is that wishful thinking? You’re a great writer, Cassie.” Andy hesitated. “I’m sure it’s an incredible book. You shouldn’t worry about putting your real name on it. I know you always wanted to write a novel.”
“Funny thing is, this is nonfiction.” Cassie tapped the cover of the volume in front of her. “I’m working on a novel right now though. A romance.”
“Does being back in Romance inspire you?”
She met his eyes again and smiled. “Yes.”
“Isn’t Loveless your mother’s maiden name?”
“Yep.” Cassie nodded. “Ended up being a fitting name for her, huh?”
“How is she doing?”
“Ah, she’s living in California with her third husband. She married his money, not him.”
“Sorry to say it sounds like something she would do. I heard your dad moved to Portland.”
“I don’t know where he is right now. We haven’t spoken in a long time. His newest wife doesn’t like kids. And apparently not even if they’re adults.”
“Yikes.” Andy winced in sympathy. “That’s too bad, Cassie. I’m sorry.”
“I’m okay. Aunt Sue is like a mom to me.” Cassie watched him, heart thumping in her eardrums. “I thought Loveless was also a fitting name for me.”
“You never found anyone traveling all over the world?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I…” She stared at the book in front of her. “I really have a lot of regrets about the past, Andy.”
“We all have regrets, Cassie.” Andy put his headphones back on and addressed his listeners. “And we’re back, broadcasting live from Pages of Romance. Come on down to get your signed copy of My Heart’s Journey through Europe and Asia by C. W. Loveless. Miss Loveless is beside me. You may remember her brief appearance on the show last week. So, Miss Loveless, tell us more about your book.”
Andy handed her a microphone plugged into a machine on his table.
“I mentioned last time I was on your show that I took a job last year with Travel There magazine.” Cassie glanced at Andy, worrying over his reaction, but he nodded his encouragement for her to continue. “It’s filled with great travel tips, but the book is about my experiences with the people and places in each location. I talk about traditions and local legends in each place I visited.”
She took a deep breath. “It was a wonderful adventure. I craved adventure so much, but the experience made it clear to me that…it wasn’t all I hoped it would be.”
“Why is that?”
“I wish I had asked a certain someone to go with me.”
They stared at each other for a few moments, Cassie’s heart running wild and Andy’s expression unreadable. Andy waited a few heartbeats before turning back to his screen. “And we’ll be right back, folks. You’re listing to 96.1 KROM, the Beaver Jam.”
Andy pulled his headphones off. “Is this book about me?”
“No, it’s filled with travel tips and insights. But there is a bit in the end about finding myself, finding out what I really want in life.”
“What do you really want in life, Cassie?”
“For you to forgive me.”
“I do forgive you, Cassie. That isn’t the same as forgetting an
d wanting to get back together.” Andy swiped a hand down his face. “We can’t do this now, Cassie.”
“Why not?”
“For one thing, customers are on the way in.” He pointed to a stream of people lining up and filing through the door.
Andy sighed and stared straight ahead. “For the record, Cassie…if you’d asked me to go with you, I would have dropped everything and gone.”
Cassie’s heart thudded as customers walked up to her to chat about her book. She and Andy didn’t have another chance to talk. She talked with people and signed books the rest of the day, most she didn’t know, but a few familiar faces she was happy to see again.
“Are you two still together?” Joanna Pendleton from high school squealed when she saw them.
Andy shook his head rather more forcefully than Cassie would have liked.
Chapter Eight
Andy left the Beaver Jam that afternoon, his work done for the day. He didn’t live far from the station and many days he walked, though today he wished he’d driven. The ice-cold wind was pure Baltic, as his granny would say.
He’d tried to keep busy the rest of the day after the morning at the bookstore, but he couldn’t shake the aggravation that was Cassie voicing her regrets that she’d broken up with him instead of asking him to go with her. Back then, he would have gone with her anywhere, dropped his career, and run across the world. He thought about it for a moment. What if she had asked him to go? It would have been fun and exciting at first, but wouldn’t he still have been left with a perpetual girlfriend since she never wanted to marry him? Now he felt like a fool for loving her so much.
Yes, his radio proposal was a stupid idea and he wanted to forgive her, to let go of the pain and take her in his arms again. But how could he? How could he put his heart through that emotional centrifuge a second time?
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to check the screen. It was a group message from Granny, asking him if he and Cassie could meet at her house tonight to practice waltzing with a few other couples who were part of the party scene.
A Christmas Carol In Romance (Christmas In Romance Book 5) Page 4