Don't ever think I will.
Micah picked up the phone to call his wife.
37
What did you do with information that could send a person to prison? For the rest of his life? A person with morals would run straight to the police and do her civic duty. Unless, of course, you were a lawyer, bound by attorney-client privilege.
That's what dear little Neal was counting on; but as far as Tawana was concerned, he was a murderer who had lost his mind, and she wasn't going to contribute to the effort to set him free.
Tawana had been fuming all morning since she and Arlen had listened to Neal's confession.
"Why do you think he told us? And me, in particular?" Tawana asked Arlen again, as they ate lunch at a small sandwich shop near the firm.
Arlen, who had been just as shocked as Tawana, bit into his sandwich and shook his head. "I don't know, Elise. I'm still trying to figure this one out."
That was the other thing bothering her: How had Neal made the connection between her and Victoria since she was using the name Elise at the firm, instead of Tawana?
Micah and Serena might have figured it out after last night’s call from Arlen, but how would anyone else have known?
Tawana frowned and whispered across the table to Arlen, "How will knowing this information help us defend him if he's pleading 'not guilty'? Are we supposed to say the crime was self-defense? Or should we convince him to plead to a lesser charge, suited to an accidental death? I don't know if I can stay on this case, Arlen. I can't represent a confessed killer."
Arlen, who had paused between bites of his sandwich, gestured for Tawana to give him her hands.
Puzzled, she complied. He looked at her and smiled.
"Elise, take a deep breath."
He held her hands while she did so.
"Take another one. Now, think about something higher and greater than yourself and ask for guidance. For me, it's God. I've already prayed for him to show me, and the entire firm, what we're supposed to do with Neal's confession.
"On the surface, it looks like we've got a guilty client with little remorse, who wants us to help him work the system. But looks can be deceiving. So calm down, let your mind slow down, and try not to fret. The trial is another three weeks away; we can take the rest of today and let this information gel."
Tawana cocked her head to the side and frowned at Arlen.
"What?" he asked, before taking another bite of sandwich.
"Who are you, and where did my colleague go? You know, Arlen Edwards? Attorney extraordinaire?"
Arlen laughed and wiped his mouth with his napkin. He wagged a finger at Tawana and finished chewing.
"Looks like you're learning more than one lesson today," he said. "First, never be shocked by anything a client confides in you. People who look 'newborn-baby innocent' could be Jack the Ripper. In the criminal defense world, you learn to consider everything and expect anything.
"Second, never let a man's bow tie and professionalism at work lead you to believe he's one-dimensional," Arlen said. "Those are two of my characteristics, but there's a lot more to me than you can see at first glance."
Tawana nodded.
Arlen Edwards wasn't hard on the eyes. His broad smile was the first thing she noticed about him. It lit up his full, caramel face. He kept his mustache neatly trimmed and always sported one of those bow ties he preferred with his custom shirts. Tawana had found him to be meticulous about his appearance and about his work, but not stuffy.
What had been most surprising was his apparent shyness. She questioned him about it one night over a late working dinner, and he downplayed it.
"I'm not bashful when it comes to things or people I care about," he had responded. "That includes the people I'm helping receive a fair day in court."
Tawana had learned that he was a fellow U.Va. alum who had graduated six years before she earned her undergrad degree. Arlen had attended law school at the University of Richmond. However, today was the first time he had mentioned his faith.
"I know there's more to you than meets the eye, Arlen," she said as she polished off her sandwich. "But do you have to peel back the layers so slowly? Every day it's something new."
He slid out of the booth to dump his tray and refill his soda.
"That's the point, Elise."
38
Erika didn't know much about Elliott's fiancée, but one thing was immediately apparent: Mara was smart.
When Erika had offered to help her leave Elliott's subdivision, Mara accepted the ride only after reviewing Erika's driver's license.
"Now you know where I live, my height, weight, and age," Erika commented as she pulled away from the curb. "Where do you want me to take you? Home? To the hospital?"
Mara pointed to her eyes, both of which were bruised and rimmed with black. "How about the police station? Elliott has lost his mind."
Erika paused at the stop sign and stared at her passenger. "You're pressing charges?"
Mara returned the stare. "Wouldn't you?"
"I should have."
Mara sat back and fell silent. Erika turned onto Beach Road so she could head toward Route 10 and the county police department headquarters.
"He beat you," Mara said softly. "That's why you left him."
Erika glanced at her. "You didn't know?"
"How would I? I moved here from California eighteen months ago. I'm a legal secretary and met Elliott at a conference a little over a year ago," she said. "The story I got was that you were having an early midlife crisis and that soon after your son's birth, you decided you wanted to be free."
Erika laughed bitterly. "He told you that? And to think I almost took him back."
Mara shook her head. "I knew that was what he was up to. That's how I got these black eyes. I was cleaning out his car and stumbled across a card addressed to you. I opened it and read his note about loving you still and asking you to let him know your decision. How could he be writing that and telling me he wanted to elope soon?"
Mara ran her fingers through her hair with one hand and massaged her bruised cheek with the other. "At first he tried to play it off and say it was an old card, something he had purchased before we started dating. But I've been in that Mercedes a gazillion times; if that card had been there all that time, believe me, I would have seen it before today."
Erika wanted to laugh out loud and do a jig. In Mara, Elliott had met his match. She listened and tried to keep a straight face.
"Then, when he realized I wasn't going to fall for the okey-doke, he changed his story and said sending you the card was part of his plan," she said.
"He said he was stringing you along to keep you happy until you agreed to give him joint custody of his son. After we got married, then he would petition the court to give him full custody."
Erika almost broke her neck. "What?!"
Mara waved her off. "Don't even worry yourself, Erika. If he had sought custody, who do you think would have cared for the child? Not him. Do I look like I want some baby mama drama?
"I told him he had lost his mind. That's when he lost his temper and went off on me."
Mara turned and faced Erika. "I'm thankful for your help, but how did you just happen to be in the neighborhood?"
Erika started to give her a simplistic answer but thought better of it. "Mara, I've been wrestling for a long time with whether to end my marriage to Elliott, even though we haven't lived together since the night Aaron was conceived."
Mara frowned.
"I left Elliott on the night of our fifth wedding anniversary and lived in a shelter for battered women for over a year. That's where I was living, in hiding, when Aaron was born.
"I returned to Richmond only when I felt reasonably sure that Elliott wouldn't try to kill me," Erika said. "I was just that afraid of him. I wasn't wise enough to do what you're doing now, and put an end to the abuse when it started. Don't go back to him, Mara. I'm not going to, either."
39
Seren
a stood in the empty sanctuary of Zion Memorial Church and twirled around with her head thrown back.
She felt like breaking into song, but her heart was so full she didn't know which hymn or gospel tune would be most fitting to show her reverence for God.
Daddy, you have shut my mouth.
She also had been speechless two weeks ago when Micah had come home with the incredible news about New Hope Community Ministries' new location. God had a knack for pulling off miracles in ways that defied reason.
She paused and hugged herself, including the baby growing inside of her who now protruded underneath her flowing dress. On mornings like this, when she was alone in God's presence, she didn't worry about what the future held. If God could bring Micah's ministry to this, surely he would help her in hers, with her children.
Serena scanned the choir loft, which was raised on both sides behind the pulpit. She couldn't wait to stand there with New Hope's choir and belt out a song of praise.
This morning though, members of New Hope and Zion Memorial were gathering for a one-hour ceremony to consecrate their union and their new friendship. She thought about how the process would symbolize a marriage, and in her mind that was perfectly fine, because they were already brothers and sisters in Christ.
Erika strolled in just as Serena sat in the front pew, and hugged Serena’s neck from behind. Serena looked up at her friend and squeezed her arm.
"Hey, you," she said. "Where's Aaron?"
"Outside with the nursery director. She's rounding up her supplies with help from the youths. This place is absolutely beautiful, Serena."
Serena nodded. "It is. New Hope's oysters and pearls."
They smiled at each other, and Erika slid into the pew next to her. "I'm on my way to transformation too."
Serena turned toward Erika.
"Anything new with Elliott?"
Erika nodded.
"He goes to trial in a few weeks on assault and battery charges for injuring Mara, and the divorce proceedings are under way. I'm feeling pretty good."
Serena smiled. "You should."
Micah appeared in the pulpit and conducted a sound check on the microphone at the lectern before testing one at the front of the sanctuary near the altar. Members would use that one this morning if they wanted to come forward and share their thoughts about the merging of the two congregations.
He waved to Serena and Erika.
"Good morning, ladies," he bellowed, offering a crackerjack James Earl Jones impersonation.
"Erika, what do you think of New Hope's new digs?"
She gave him a thumbs-up.
"You must be doing something right, Pastor. God has blessed."
Micah pointed to Serena's growing belly.
"In more ways than one."
Erika leaned over to rub Serena's stomach. "I know you probably hate when people do that, but I'm your sister."
"I guess you get special privileges, but don't do it in front of other people; they'll think that gives them the right to touch me too."
Micah plopped on the pew behind them and peered at Erika.
"What's the latest?"
Serena punched his arm playfully. "You're a day late and a dollar short. We've already covered that."
A teasing sorrowfulness filled Micah’s eyes as he gazed at Erika.
"You know you're going to have to repeat yourself, right?"
The three of them laughed.
"Girl, where did you find this man?" Erika asked Serena. "Actually, Micah, I wish I had talked to you a long time ago, as my spiritual leader."
Serena sat up. "Should I leave you two alone for a few minutes?"
Erika shook her head. "Please. You know everything he's going to hear from me anyway, Serena."
Erika turned toward Micah.
"Like I said, I know where I'm heading now, and I'm sure it's what God wants me to do. But I struggled for months, many months, over my marriage. I wanted to please God and obey what the Scriptures say about honoring marriage, and yet I never felt at peace about taking Elliott back. Now I know why, but how could I have known sooner?"
"You know, Erika," Micah began, "if I could interpret the Bible and provide a cut-and-dried answer for every situation that presents itself, I would be revered around the world. In other words, that would make me God.
"All of us, even ministers, struggle to understand and live by the Word of God, which can sometimes seem contradictory. You may read one proverb that declares a lazy man is headed for ruin and another passage, just a few pages away, that insists man must take adequate rest, because all striving is in vain.
"Regarding divorce, yes, the Bible clearly states that God despises broken vows," Micah said. "But it goes on to describe how divorces should legally be handled when they occur, because inevitably, humans do fail.
"I think what concerned you more than being outside of the law of the Bible, Erika, was being outside of God's favor."
Erika nodded.
"Exactly," she said. "That was my issue."
"But if you look at the biblical passages on love and on a Godly marriage, could you honestly say that was what you and Elliott had, or even had the potential of having? We know he physically abused you the first time around. After hearing how he pressured you with divorce papers and flaunted a fiancée in your face, not to mention the greeting cards he routinely sent, it sounds as if you were still being beat up—emotionally this time, and with the Scripture, because he dangled his newfound faith in your face to guilt you into taking him back."
Serena watched her friend's face. She could see validation settling in Erika's eyes.
Micah picked up a New Living Translation Bible from the pew rack in front of him. He turned to Romans, chapter 8, and read aloud:
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.
Micah closed the Bible and looked at Erika.
"So essentially, we are supposed to honor God by being obedient to his laws. But our faith in Jesus covers us when we fall short. All that fretting and worrying you were doing, it wasn't in vain, because it showed God that you have a heart to live out his will.
"When you're facing a serious dilemma in the future, though, don't be afraid to seek help from a good Christian counselor," Micah said. "And ask God to keep you from getting caught up in dotting every i and crossing every t, to the point that you forget about his grace and mercy. He offers a new dose each day, enough for you and for me."
Erika smiled.
"Thank you, Micah. I should have talked to you about this a long time ago. But you're right: I can learn and grow, even from this experience."
Micah rose from the seat and hugged Erika. He stooped to kiss Serena and rub her stomach.
"You gon' be alright, girl," he told Erika. "Now let me go get ready. We are about to have some church up in here!"
40
Today Tawana was meeting with him alone.
Arlen had to file a brief before the courts closed, and Brandon and Heather were busy on other aspects of Neal's case. Neal had asked to meet only with Tawana, and the partners had advised her to go.
"Given the bombshell he's already dropped in our laps, go prepared for anything," Bob Wallace said. "Call me the minute you leave and let me know what he says."
Tawana, who was still trying to figure out how she could withdraw from this case and save her law career, sat in the jailhouse meeting room twisting her pen around and around, attempting to quell the jitters.
Use your street smarts with this boy.
That unbidden advice surprised her. I will, Lord, I will. Thank you.
It amazed her how, in the sh
ort time she had lived with Serena and Micah, her coping mechanism had improved.
Wine was no longer her sedative, and manipulative men had lost their allure. Attractive guys still caught her eye, but she had decided at some point during the summer to seek God's heart, instead of a man's, until she had grown beyond her pattern of bad choices.
Brandon had cornered her in the law firm's boardroom one morning when they were alone and had caressed her with his hazel eyes. He was model gorgeous, with thick dreadlocks and pecs to die for, but when he offered a kiss, Tawana declined.
"You want to smooch before you ask for a date?"
A few months earlier she would have been charmed by his interest. Now she was able to accept the reality before her—Brandon's actions simply showed what he was really after. Heather had later confided that she hadn't been as savvy. She and Brandon no longer rode to work together or communicated outside the office.
When Tawana thought about the kind of person she wanted to date in the future, Arlen came to mind. He had not once flirted with her or indicated an interest other than professional, but she realized that he was a standard of what to look for: a man who loved God, was sure of himself, and had integrity in his work and private life.
That last thought caused her to cringe. In being Elise in one setting and Tawana everywhere else, what was she doing? Did her actions reveal character or the lack of it?
Before she could ruminate any longer, Neal entered the room and sat across from her. He gave her a calculated smile. "You're alone today."
Tawana assumed a streetwise persona and smirked. "What's this about, Neal? What do you want this time, to confess to another crime?"
"What if I did? You couldn't do anything about it. You're my lawyer."
She decided to call his bluff. "Technically, I'm not. I'm still in law school, in case you didn't know. I'm a summer associate at Wallace, Jones and Johns."
Neal grew pale.
Tawana leaned forward. "What? Are you worried now? Well, I'm here. Go ahead and spill the beans."
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