“No. Just someone I hadn’t talked to in a very long time, an old friend. She had texted earlier so when I saw that she called, well, I thought maybe she was in some kind of trouble.” Tanner nods, listening intently. “I’m so sorry that I spoiled the moment.”
“That’s alright. I’m hoping there will be many other moments in our future,” he teases. I smile widely back at him. He quickly glances at his watch.
“Let’s get you home before the cops bust us for being in the park this late.”
“Ah, so you’re a rule follower, eh?” I ask, realizing just how much I love teasing Tanner Finley.
“Not all the rules, but I really don’t want this date to end in the back of a police car. So, yes, in this case, let’s behave ourselves.” Inside, I pout a bit, not wanting to leave this near perfect date. But, knowing that there will be more nights like this puts the smile back on my face as we drive to my apartment for a slow and sensual good night kiss.
Swooning over a computer geek? Hell yeah!
Chapter 25
Interrogation
“So, what on earth do you talk about with her?” Morgan asks skeptically over a slice of pizza. We’re sitting on my apartment floor watching a romantic comedy (Abram would be so proud) and chatting over dinner. I’ve somehow managed to reveal my ongoing friendship with Cece.
“Everything really. Well, almost everything. I can’t bring myself to tell her about Tanner. It would crush her.”
“But, you said yourself that you’re talking to her a couple of times a week. Tanner has become a huge part of your life. How could you not tell her about him? If Cece’s really your friend, you wouldn’t hide it from her.”
“In theory, I agree with you. I know I shouldn’t be hiding him from anyone. I adore him but, she’s still in mourning. If she knows I’m starting to move on, she may pull away from me.”
“And why would that be so terrible? What is so special about this friendship? You have plenty of friends already.” I can hear the obvious disdain in her voice.
“I don’t know how to explain it, Morgan. It’s a bond that I’ve never felt with another human being. Maybe it’s because we both lost Mayson, maybe it’s because we comforted each other in a way that no one else has. All I know is that I treasure her and really look forward to our talks every few days. She’s become like a second mom to me.”
“And what about Tanner? Does he know about Cece?”
“Not exactly,” I mutter, looking at the floor.
“Daphne!” Her mouth is agape, her eyes open so wide I can see white all around her bright blue irises.
“I know, I know. It’s just so odd. I don’t know how to explain it to him.”
“But, he knows about your friendship with Evan, right?”
“Yeah, I told him about Evan from the start. He doesn’t mind. Besides, he knows that Evan talks with me about the women he’s interested in. We’ve even talked about possible double dates. But, his relationships don’t last long. Evan is very fickle.”
“And Tanner’s okay with it?”
“Yes, he seems to be. I think he knows that Evan and I don’t have feelings for one another. We just go to concerts and hang out occasionally. I try to convince him to date nice girls while he entertains me with stories of the troublemakers he’s trying to date. Besides, Tanner likes him. My friendship with Evan is so different from my relationship with Cece.”
“Well, with everything I know about Tanner, he wouldn’t appreciate you hiding this from him, never mind the fact that you haven’t told Cece yet. That’s deceptive, Daphne. It’s so not you.” Morgan looks terribly disappointed in me. “Look, you told me how much he appreciates honesty and dealing with things as they come about. He doesn’t like secrets. You’re playing with fire, my dear.”
Morgan’s words sting. I’m simply not ready to reveal anything yet to Tanner or to Cece. They both mean so much to me, both relationships so new, so fragile. The thought of hurting either of them is unbearable. Cece continues to be a living, breathing connection to the man I loved for years. Tanner is absolutely fantastic, so different from my first love in many ways, yet he evokes many similar feelings. I’m falling for him quickly. It terrifies me; just as my feelings for Mayson once did. It’s simply not the time for me to reveal either of them to the other. Yes, it is a risky choice, but I must live with it, at least for now.
“Ok, changing subjects. I need to talk to you about Matt.” Uh oh.
“What about him?” I do my best to remain casual as I take a bite of pizza.
“He’s acting really, really strange lately. I’m worried he’s getting ready to break up with me.” Morgan looks alarmed. I need to calm her fears without giving away any potential engagement information.
“Why on earth would you think that?”
“Lately he seems to be working even longer hours than usual. We’re supposed to be taking a trip to the Bahamas next month and all of a sudden, he doesn’t want to talk about it at all. We’ve been planning this trip for months. I’m terrified that he’s going to break things off right before we’re supposed to leave. You know, like Carrie did to Mr. Big in the first season of Sex and the City.” It’s hard for me to not laugh at Morgan. She’s definitely over thinking this.
“My guess is that he’s working really hard before your trip. You know Matt is a hard worker and I’m sure he’s just trying to get ahead of the game before traveling. Morgan, I see the way he looks at you. Regardless of his recent behavior, I’m certain he is still very much in love with you.”
“Hmph,” Morgan utters. She’s not convinced. Crap. I’m not sure what else to say without being obvious that I have more information than she does on the matter.
“Promise me you’ll wait until after your trip before saying something to him, Morgan. The last thing you want to do is put a damper on something you’ve been planning for so long. If he acts strangely on the trip, then bring it up when you get home. I know you’d regret it if you brought things up too soon. And if he cancels the trip, I’ll kick his ass. Okay?”
Morgan stares at her food for a moment before answering, “You’re right. Maybe he is trying to get ahead of his work load. That does sound like Matt. Besides, he hasn’t been cold towards me or anything like that.”
“Does he just seem preoccupied?” I ask, knowing that Matt is absolutely preoccupied. Knowing him, he’s excited to propose while on their vacation and is able to think of nothing else. His longer hours at work are probably a desperate measure in order to keep his poker face intact.
“Yes.” Morgan nods, wide-eyed, relieved that I understand.
I’m also pleased, knowing that I’ve convinced her not to confront Matt before they leave on vacation. In a few short weeks, they’ll be boarding a plane, headed towards an incredible getaway; one that will include a proposal. Morgan has no idea what’s in store for her, but I do and I’m thrilled!
Chapter 26
Firsts
After an incredibly long school year, summer vacation has finally arrived. Unlike past years, I’ve declined to teach summer school so that I may enjoy these several weeks with Tanner. On this lazy Sunday afternoon we are snuggled up in my bed. He’s reading the Sunday business section of the newspaper as I lay my head on his chest, enjoying the rise and fall of his ribcage. Gently, my fingers wander up and down his thigh in an attempt to finally find a ticklish spot on his body.
“It’s no use, sweetheart,” Tanner insists, “I’ve told you I’m not ticklish.”
“Everyone has a weak spot, Tanner.” I say confidently.
“That’s true, Daphne. But, not everyone’s weak spot is a ticklish one.” I get the feeling Tanner is talking about his feelings for me. Perhaps I’m his weak spot.
I sit up and stare deeply into his speckled eyes. His cheeks quickly turn a deep shade of crimson. He knows I have him figured out. Instead of glancing away or making a joke, Tanner simply shrugs his shoulders and smiles.
“Come on, you know I’m crazy a
bout you,” Tanner says.
“Really? I thought you were just using me for my Sunday paper?” I tease, avoiding his straightforward nature. I wonder if I used to make Mayson feel like this when I was blunt and to the point with him. Did I make him feel ill at ease the way that Tanner does? Did I make him tongue tied as I feel right now?
“Well, I do like a good business section,” he jokes, “But, no Daphne, you are, in fact, my weakness. You must know that by now. Sometimes it’s hard for me to think clearly when you look at me like that.” He lovingly strokes my cheek with his knuckles. I close my eyes, enjoying his tender touch.
“Like what, exactly?” I goad Tanner, not to torment him or make him uncomfortable, but because it drives me crazy knowing how much I excite him.
“Well, for example, when you tease me and act like a little jokester. It’s adorable and sexy and I can hardly stand it. C’mon, you know you drive me senseless, Daphne.”
“Senseless? Well, that doesn’t sound very pleasant,” I say, pouting slightly. As hard as it now is for me to express myself, I love hearing Tanner confess his feelings for me and want to hear more, so much more.
“Oh, it’s better than pleasant. You drive me insane in a way that no one else ever has. The way you glance at me when you think I might be looking your way is one of my favorite things in the world,” he says dreamily, stroking my hair with his fingers. “Sitting across the table from you at Henry and Elise’s dinner party was the best possible torture. You kept glancing my way, thinking I might be looking back at you. What you didn’t realize is that I never stopped looking at you that night. You were all I could think about.”
“I felt the same way,” I finally admit, not wanting Tanner to think his confessions are the least bit one sided. Reaching out, I gently play with the whiskers of his goatee. Tanner responds as he always does, by breathing in deeply and closing his eyes tight. I know how to turn him on and I love it. I can’t get enough of this feeling, this feeling of having power over another person’s emotions and desires. I’m wrapped up in Tanner in a way that is new yet somewhat familiar. He is so unlike Mayson, honest and direct.
“God, you’re gorgeous.” Tanner says as he opens his eyes. He looks at my cheeks, my forehead and my nose, exploring every curve of my face.
“Thank you,” I giggle, “But, you don’t have to butter me up to get in my pants.”
Tanner looks hopeful as he gazes into my eyes. “I want you so badly. Are you sure you’re ready? We can stop if you want to wait. It’s alright. Really, it is,” he says, his voice strong yet cracking a bit with emotion. His brown eyes are sweet in their expression as he attempts to suppress the building desire within his body. We’ve been dating for several weeks. We agreed to take it slow and we have. But, today things are different.
“No, I’m so ready for this. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Please, Tanner, I need you, every bit of you.” I pull him back down to me and his mouth is once again pressed to mine. Parting my lips, I invite his tongue back into my mouth. Just as he begins to submit to my kiss, I tug swiftly on his shoulders and flip him to his back. Leaning my hands into his chest, I smile giddily. His muscles are tense and firm as a look of astonishment spreads across his handsome face.
“Wow, you’re pretty determined, aren’t you?”
“I told you, I’m ready. And I won’t let you talk me out of this.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” he laughs as I slowly nibble on his neck.
Cupping his face with my hands, I press my lips against his, letting him know that I’m in no mood to stop. I want him desperately. He shifts himself slowly and moans quietly into my mouth. Message received.
I rock into him again and again until he pulls his mouth from mine. His eyes sear as he flips me onto my back and kisses me passionately, holding my arms above my head with one hand. With the other, he slowly traces an invisible line down to my shoulder blade and a delicious shiver runs up my spine. He is driving me wild and he knows it. He pulls away and gazes down at me lovingly. He pushes my bangs from my eyes and caresses my cheek with his strong hand. This sweet, simple gesture sends me into a frenzy. I want him.
Our tongues and bodies dance and twist together in a rhythm I’ve never experienced with another man. It’s so passionate yet so effortless. I can’t seem to get enough as he moves tenderly above me, stopping every so often to gaze into my eyes with absolute love and devotion. I stare at him in awe, urging him to continue as the pressure builds inside of me. It is agonizing, yet beautiful and I never want it to end. Tanner pushes me to the edge and I feel myself breaking apart as I cry out his name. His body tightens above me as he finds his own release. He lays down beside me, both of us speechless. Every part of me tingles from my fingers to my toes. As I struggle to catch my breath, he slowly traces the curves of my side with his fingers, leaning in to plant tiny kisses in the small of my back. After several minutes, I finally find the energy to speak.
“That was…wow,”
“I know,” Tanner says, clearly proud of his accomplishments.
“That was honestly, the best ‘first time’ I’ve ever had.”
“That’s awesome,” Tanner says, astounded. “You, you’re awesome. That was, by far, my best experience...ever. I’m so wrapped up in you, it’s ridiculous.” He says, lovingly threading his fingers through my hair.
“I haven’t been this wrapped up in someone since...well, it’s been a long time.”
His brow furrows knowingly as I almost mention Mayson. “Look, I know it must be really hard with everything you went through, but I need to know something.”
My nerves stand on edge as I await his question. “I must know. Am I a rebound? You mean so much to me and the thought of coming in second with you is excruciating.”
“Tanner, that’s not fair. There’s no comparison.”
Tanner sits up quickly; his eyes bore into mine. He’s obviously not happy with my answer. “I’m not asking you to compare us. But, I need to know that I’m not your recovery guy, the one who simply helps you get your groove back. I need to know that you actually want something real with me, because I’ve never wanted anything more.”
“Of course I want something real with you. You’re fantastic. I love being with you, love spending time with you. Yes, I loved Mayson. But, he’s gone and I’m ready to move on.”
“Are you?” Tanner questions, his eyes turning frustrated.
“Yes! We just made love, for God’s sake! Do you think I do that with every guy I date? Please, stop this. I want to be with you and I don’t know what else you want me to say.” Gazing into his eyes, pleading for patience, I reach out to run my fingers through his beautiful chocolate-brown hair. He presses his eyelids tight and takes a deep breath.
“Alright,” he nods, “I’ll work on it. Just know that I’m not giving up on you. I will fight for you, sweetheart.”
“I hope so,” I shiver, pulling Tanner’s arms around me, regrettably thinking of Mayson.
Chapter 27
Rooftop
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I tease Tanner, knowing full well he is ready to meet my family. We are joining them at a rooftop Cubs game along with several of my other relatives. As we stand on the platform, waiting for the train that will take us down to the city, I stop to admire my handsome boyfriend.
“What are you doing, sweetheart?” Tanner tilts his head to the side curiously.
“Just admiring you,” I smirk.
“Hmmm,” he says, pulling me into his arms, “I could get used to that.”
“Me too,” I say, planting a small kiss on his full lips.
“So, remind me again, what are the topics I should avoid with your Dad? Politics, religion...anything else?”
“Hmm, stick to talking about baseball and you should be all set.” I laugh. “No, seriously, everyone will love you. Just don’t mention that you’re a White Sox fan.”
“I’ll keep it a secret, that’s for sure.” Tanner laughs.
“How long do we need to be dating before I’ll be able to reveal my true nature?”
“Hmm, it may be a few years yet.” I smile.
“A few years? Nah, they’ll love me right away and I’ll convert them.”
“You think so, huh? That’s another sign that you’re not from Chicago. There are no converts in this town.”
After a short train ride, we arrive at the Sheffield Building to watch the Cubs game. As we climb the three flights of stairs, I fend off Tanner’s roaming hands as he tickles and pinches my bottom. We reach the entrance and see my Dad waiting for us at the top. I turn to look at Tanner who grins sheepishly.
“Daphne, honey, you’re here.” My dad smiles and extends his hand to Tanner.
“Mr. Harper, it’s great to finally meet you. I’m Tanner.”
“Yes, Tanner, I’m glad you were able to join us today. We’ve been waiting for Daphne to bring you around. Come on, let’s grab a beer.” He pats Tanner on the back and gives me a wink. As they walk away, I hear my Dad ask, “So, Tanner, tell me, are you a Cubs fan?”
“Daph, honey, you made it!” I turn to see my Mom headed towards me. She is radiant in her Cubs visor and top; she’d live at the ball field if we’d let her. “I saw your father talking with Tanner. He’s very cute, sweetie.”
“Yes, he is. And he’s also funny. His sense of humor is one of my favorite things about him. Mom, I’m so excited for you to get to know him. He’s positively amazing.”
My mom runs her fingers through my long hair, giving me a warm smile. “Oh, darling, you have no idea how lovely it is to see you happy. Your father and I have been worried about you. You’ve gone through so much. But, the look on your face tells me all I need to know. I’m certain I’ll adore Tanner. He’s making you glow with such happiness. Come on, let’s catch up with those guys and have a drink.”
Several hours later, Tanner and I are sitting on the train headed back to the suburbs. I’ve had a few too many beers so I’m leaning on Tanner’s shoulder for support. His hand caresses my leg gently, drawing shapes on my thigh with his fingers.
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