by Jane Henry
“Well, let’s see if anything’s awry,” I said.
We walked together to the barn so Samuel could check the livestock, and at first everything looked fine. But when we reached the other end where the saddles were hung with care along the wall, Samuel swore under his breath. “Looks like one’s missin’,” he muttered. “I’m gonna wear that boy out when he gets home.”
“Whoever would’ve taken it?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not sure. There were locals around who came into town on the latest caravan, and I don’t trust ‘em one bit.” He turned to me with a frown. “It’s why you’re not allowed out alone, young lady.”
I pursed my lips but didn’t respond to his bossiness. Allowed?
“All right, back to the house,” he said. When we reached the door, he grasped the back of my neck and dipped down for a brief kiss. I stood up on my tiptoes, hoping no one had seen. “Come on in now, little Ruth.”
I followed him, nodding to Ma and Geraldine as we came in.
Ma rose and came to embrace me. “I’ve missed you,” she said warmly as she pulled me into her bosom. It felt nice, being held like that. Her home smelled like cinnamon and spice, warm bread baking and something delicious cooling on the stove. The room was warm and tidy, the windows and doors open to allow a breeze to come in.
“Well, I was afraid you were doing poorly when we didn’t see you for so long,” she began. “But it sure looks like you’ve made up for that and then some. You’ve got a right flush on your cheeks and you look pretty as a picture. You all right, child?”
“Yes’m,” I said. My eyes instinctively shot to Samuel, who was still standing in the doorway. Ma took us both in, her shrewd eyes missing nothing. She tossed an arm over my shoulder and brought me further in. “How’s Hannah?”
I nodded. “Hannah’s doing well,” I said. “Her arm’s healed, and she’s off back to school now. She’d done her best to get Matthew to do her chores, but she’s well enough now to handle them just fine.”
Ma chuckled. “She’s a firecracker, that Hannah.”
“Oh, that she is.”
Ma removed her arm from my shoulders and bustled about the cabin. “You need tea, darlin’?” she asked.
“Yes, please.”
“Tea, Geraldine?”
Geraldine nodded.
Geraldine sat by the fire, rocking her little one. While Ma made my tea, I heard Samuel tell Ma about the saddle, their voices rising and falling as they discussed the situation.
I decided to focus on Geraldine. “Hello,” I greeted, but she ignored me. Her lovely Mary Jane seemed as if she’d grown since I’d seen her just a few weeks prior, her wisps of blond hair curling around her temples, little button nose and rose-colored mouth fetching and endearing. She was wrapped in a knit blanket, and her little eyes were growing heavy with sleep. I heard the door of the cabin open and close, and I knew Samuel was going back to the barn.
Geraldine spoke in a low whisper. “I know what you’re all about, Ruth. And Ma can embrace you and you can do no wrong in her eyes. But in my eyes, I know exactly what it is you’re after.”
I felt my limbs grow cold, and I wished that Samuel hadn’t gone back out to the barn. I lifted my chin. “Yes, I lost my temper. Occasionally, I do,” I said. “Though some people make it far easier to do.” I frowned at her, but I bit my tongue. It would not do to lose my temper now. “What exactly is it that you think I’m after?”
Geraldine frowned. “You want in on the Stanley family. You want to be one of them. So you’ll seduce Samuel, and do your very best to get your hands on him. You attack Pearl, and you’re doing your best to pull this family apart.”
The familiar flash of anger flared in me. I hated her. I hated everything she said, and I hated that I felt, deep down in my bones, that this was how all the Stanleys felt about me, only she was the only one who had the nerve to say it.
“You’re wrong,” I hissed. I heard the whistle of the teakettle, and Ma clattering on the stove. “I lost my temper, and for that I am deeply sorry.” I meant every word. “But I would never try to hurt this family. I owe you no further explanation.”
I turned from her and promptly went to help Ma with the tea. My heart hammered in my chest, and my palms were damp. How dare she make such an accusation? I’d done nothing to deserve it, and it hurt far more than I would have thought. I stirred milk and sugar in my tea, and sank gratefully in a chair. How long had it been since I’d sat with a cup of hot tea? I’d done nothing but work the past few weeks.
“Feeling all right, Ruth?” Ma asked. I blinked, placing my teacup gingerly on the table.
“I’m fine,” I said, quiet now, as I couldn’t forget what Geraldine had said to me. I heard Samuel’s voice outside the door. I stood with my cup of tea, and peeked out the window. When I did, my stomach twisted into knots. It was Aaron.
* * *
The first time I met Aaron, he’d come riding to my old house with Samuel. Matthew had gotten in trouble in school for licking a boy who’d taunted my Hannah. A few days after the school incident, my husband had been drinking all weekend, and was passed out in our bedroom, when a knock came on the door. I’d answered, and been introduced to both Aaron and Samuel. They were stern, yet kind.
When Aaron asked questions, he expected straight answers. I had no reason to hide the reality both Hannah and I faced, as long as the Stanley brothers were discreet. I had always liked Aaron. He was a good-natured man who loved his family, even if he tended to be quite sober.
Aaron had been a steady help to me over the past year, and he and I had always gotten along well. He was my friend’s husband, and a good man, taking care of Ma and his younger siblings. When the snow flew, he’d take care of his own wife and farm, then traipse through the cold to come and be sure Ma had what she needed as well. But though he was a good man, he was stern. Hannah and Matthew respected him, and everyone looked to him as leader of the family.
So it came as no surprise to me that Pearl wasn’t allowed to speak to me after I’d slapped her. I knew he was fiercely protective. What I didn’t know was how I could ever get back into Aaron’s good graces.
I would not wait for him to enter the cabin. I would go to him. I placed my cup of tea on the table, stood, and marched to the door of the cabin.
“Now, Ruth,” Ma began, and I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “I need to talk to Aaron.”
She clucked her tongue and shook her head, and I heard Geraldine fussing in the background behind me, but I ignored them both, opened the door, and marched outside.
Samuel was leaning up against a bale of hay outside the barn, and I had one brief, heart-fluttering moment. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing his tanned, muscled forearms crossed on his chest. His jaw clenched as he chewed a piece of straw, and his hat shaded his face. He was all man, raw muscle and power and strength, and it hit me hard before I renewed my courage and plowed on.
When I came to them, Samuel’s eyes met mine and narrowed. He shook his head once, one curt side-to-side shake, and he pointed a stern finger back to the house, making a scooting motion with his fingertips. I knew he didn’t want me confronting Aaron now, but I had to do what I came for. Swallowing, I ignored Samuel, and walked straight up to Aaron.
He was adjusting the reins, smoothing one large hand over the rippling flank of his horse, as he walked her to the barn. His hat also kept his face in shadow, and his large form moved with grace and purpose. I felt my bravado nearly fail me.
“Ruth,” Samuel warned.
I suspected I would regret ignoring him later, but it was a risk I was willing to take.
He was just about by the barn, still talking to Samuel.
“Have you noticed anything else missing?” Aaron shouted over his shoulder. He still hadn’t seen me.
Samuel shook his head, pushing one foot off the hay bale and marching on over to me. “Not yet,” he said to Aaron. I moved quickly away from him. He was going to make m
e go in the house and I would not go.
“We had some chickens stolen last week,” Aaron said over his shoulder. “And it looks like eggs are being taken. Thought it was just a poacher, but now that you know someone’s stolen property, could be somethin’—” He froze as he turned around and saw me.
Samuel glared at me, not trying to be discreet anymore. “Ruth, get back in the house,” he ordered.
I shook my head sadly at him. I would not obey. Not this time. “I have to speak to Aaron.”
Aaron drew himself up to his full height, meaning he towered over me, and he took one step closer. “Ruth,” he said with a stern nod.
I drew in a shaky breath and curtsied politely. I believe it very well may have been the first curtsy I’d ever done in my life. I saw Samuel shake his head and his eyes roam heavenward.
“I need to speak to you about last week,” I said.
Aaron’s jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed, and his arms were tight across his chest as he eyed me. He said nothing, merely nodded.
“You know I… just wanted to explain…” But I could hardly say the words out loud. My eyes dropped to the ground.
“Say it.” It was Samuel, not Aaron. I lifted my eyes and looked at him in surprise. He looked every bit as stern as Aaron now.
I sighed. I’d disobeyed him staying out here and approaching Aaron when it was likely not a good time to do so, and now he’d make me do what I came for.
“Go on. You insisted on bringing this up? Tell him what you did last week.”
Drawing in another shaky breath, I continued. “I lost my temper with Pearl.” The words hung suspended in the air, and I wanted to take them back.
“And?” Aaron said. “Why don’t you tell me in your own words why you lost your temper, Ruth.”
I folded my hands behind my back to keep from fidgeting, and nodded. “Yes, sir.” I never called any man sir unless it was Samuel after he’d spanked me and made love to me and I was as subdued as a church mouse, but now I pulled out anything I could think of. I inhaled. Better to get it all out at once. “She told me I wasn’t thankful for all the work that Samuel’s done for me, and it made me angry.” I swallowed as Aaron raised his brows. “I don’t always like the idea that people are helping me. I like to do things on my own. I want to prove that I can.”
Aaron nodded. “She told me. She had no right to lecture you about that, Ruth, and I’ve spoken to her about it.”
I nodded. “Well, after she said that, I lost my temper. I didn’t mean to, Aaron. I’ve never done it before. But I slapped her right across her face.”
He nodded, his eyes darkening. “Oh, I know it,” he said. “I came home for supper and my wife had the traces of a handprint straight across her face. How do you think I felt about that, Ruth? To work all day and come home to my wife, heavy with child, with evidence someone’d struck her?”
“I bet you were fit to be tied,” I said softly, casting my eyes down again.
“Oh, I was. The only thing that stopped me from comin’ out to give you a piece of my mind was Pearl beggin’ me to be merciful. So I did. This time. But damned if I’ll let you near her again. You say this is your first time hittin’ someone, yet I was there the day you tossed water in Geraldine’s face. Seems you’re given to temper more than you care to admit these days.” He frowned at me.
I squirmed. It was true, and I wanted to tell him it wasn’t. But I couldn’t. I was given to temper more recently, and my actions had surprised even me.
His eyes softened a bit as he continued. “Now, I know you had one difficult situation, Ruth. I knew Leroy and I know what he was capable of. You’ve done good, makin’ a way for yourself, and takin’ care of your daughter. But you do understand that until I know you’re not gonna lose your temper again, I’m keepin’ my wife in her delicate position away from you.”
My heart sank. I turned to Samuel. “Tell him, Samuel! Tell him how I already paid for what I did.”
Samuel was frowning at me now, too. “Oh, I did,” he said. “When he told me you oughtta be spanked for such a thing, I told him clearly I’d already taken care of that and you’ll continue to answer for your disobedience.”
Suddenly I was mortified, and I wanted to run away and hide. My cheeks flamed, but I had to speak my mind. “I’m trying hard, Aaron. I asked Samuel to take me over his lap. I wanted to pay for what I’d done, and I did. Won’t you give me another chance?”
Aaron worked his jaw for a minute as he looked from me to Samuel. “Not today, Ruth,” he said, gently but still firmly. “Not when she’s about fit to bustin’ with that baby. She needs to take to bed and ease her discomfort.” He shook his head. “Not today.” He turned his back to me, effectively dismissing me as he turned back to Samuel. They spoke in low murmurs while I stood back.
Aaron swung himself up on the back of his horse, tipped his hat to me, and took off at a trot toward town. My heart sank within me. He was not going to allow me to see Pearl. My only real friend, heavy with child, and I wouldn’t be able to help her when she needed me. I wanted to cry.
Samuel beckoned for me to come to him. I dragged my feet, as I knew I’d disobeyed him. But when I reached him, he put his arm around me and hugged me.
“I know this is hard for you,” he said. “And I think Aaron’s bein’ a bit harsh. But the best way for this to blow over is not to stir it up but let it lie. You understand?”
I nodded.
“And why do you think I wanted you not to come out here right now?”
I sighed into the fabric of his shirt, the roughness somehow soothing against my cheek. “You knew he wasn’t going to want to listen to me,” I said sheepishly.
He continued. “Did I tell you not to talk to him right now? Did you know I wanted you back in the house?”
I couldn’t deny it. “I did.”
“And yet you plowed on anyway.”
“I had to! I had to tell him my side!”
Samuel frowned. “I didn’t tell you not to speak your mind. It was the timing that was wrong. You should’ve listened to me.”
My temper rose, this time because he was right and I’d been wrong. I was angry at myself for making a bad situation worse and I didn’t know what to do with that anger. “Well, you don’t always know everything,” I muttered.
His eyes flashed at me. “Adding disrespect now, Ruth? First you disobey and now you sass me?”
I looked away, wishing I could stop myself from spinning out of control.
Samuel continued. “Aaron was fit to be tied over that saddle bein’ missin’, and his own things being pilfered, and in no mood to be merciful or compromise. You ought to remember that, woman. When a man has somethin’ troublin’ him, he’s unlikely to be merciful. You understand my meanin’?”
I nodded slowly. I thought I understood. I dug the toe of my boot in the ground nervously. “You’re not feeling merciful at the moment, are you?”
He shook his head, his grip tightening. “Not at all.”
* * *
He marched me to the barn, holding my elbow tightly, and I had to skip to keep up with his long strides. He pulled out his milking stool, and pointed a finger for me to sit. Why was he making me sit? But after I obeyed him, I watched as he walked to the edge of the barn and over to a young birch several yards away from the barn door. I gasped. He meant to cut a switch? I watched him, my mouth gaping open, as he removed a thin switch with a knife and stripped it. He marched back to the barn, stern conviction written across his features.
“Come here, please,” he said, gesturing to the half wall that separated the loft from the stalls. It stood about as high as my waist. I stood and walked to him on trembling legs. When I reached him, his hand went to my jaw and he looked me straight in the eyes.
“You were rude to me, and disobeyed me,” he said. I nodded as he continued. “I was trying to protect you. I was trying to save you unnecessary hurt. How can I do that if you don’t obey me?”
“You can’t,” I wh
ispered.
His eyes darkened as he released my chin and pointed to the wall. “Lift your skirts and lower your drawers. Then lean across that wall.”
I obeyed quickly. I needed it over with. I knew he wouldn’t spank me too hard, but I also knew a switching would sting and I was eager to get to the point where we were reconciled once again. He’d tried to protect me. My thoughts and emotions were nearly strangling me. I needed to be set to rights again.
As my drawers fell to my ankles, a breath of air hit my bare skin. I was mortified, while at the very same time there was something darkly erotic about being bared to him, prepared to receive my punishment. I bent obediently over the wall as he stepped over to me, placing a hand on my lower back.
“With each stroke of this switch, I want you thinking about how much I care about you. While every one of my instructions to you may not always make sense, they are always made with your best interest in mind. Do you understand me, young lady?”
My eyes were squeezed shut as I braced myself for the first stinging swat. “Yes, sir.”
The switch whistled through the air and struck me hard, the pain intensified in such a small area, it flared across my bottom. Again, the switch fell. I came up on the tips of my toes as a third swat landed.
“You’ll do what I say,” he said soberly, with another whistling lash of the switch. “You’ll learn to be respectful. You’ll learn to obey me.” Swat after swat fell and I lost count, the switch whooshing through the air right before searing pain blossomed. A cry rose in my throat and tears threatened to spill. He paused, his hand resting on my tender skin.
“Have I made my point, little Ruth?” he asked.
I nodded my head, my cheeks hot with embarrassment. “Yes, sir,” I whispered.
He yanked up my drawers, dropped my skirts, and pulled me to his chest, tossing the switch to the side. His eyes were grave, but filled with concern. I felt contrite now, and as I thought about Aaron not letting me see Pearl, the tears that welled in my eyes began to fall. I felt sorry I’d disobeyed Samuel and earned a punishment, sorry that I couldn’t see Pearl, and heartbroken that I’d not met the expectations of the family I loved so dearly.