by Lucy Clark
‘We made breakfast for you.’ Chloe was still bouncing on the bed, clearly bursting with excitement.
‘Well, Paulette and her husband did the cooking,’ Felix clarified. ‘But I put some food on a plate for you and made you a cup of tea.’
‘I helped pour the juice,’ Chloe stated as Felix lowered the tray onto Harriette’s lap, telling Chloe gently to stop bouncing on the bed or the juice might spill. The child did as he asked. ‘And I picked the flowers for you from the garden,’ the little girl added, and Harriette smiled brightly at the thin-stemmed flowers that were really weeds but looked absolutely delightful in a small glass of water in the corner of her breakfast tray.
‘I’m... I’m overwhelmed.’ Harriette gazed up at Felix, who was standing beside her, grinning as excitedly as Chloe. The thought was incredibly touching and she could see it was heartfelt, which made it all the more special.
‘What’s that mean?’ Chloe started to bounce again, but when she saw Harriette’s juice start to wobble she instantly stopped. ‘Oh, sorry.’
‘It means that I’m happy,’ Harriette clarified.
‘Chloe, why don’t you put on your purple shoes and go and play with some of the other children?’
‘Really? I can go outside?’
‘Remember your hat,’ Harriette added and held the tray as Chloe scrambled off the bed and located her shoes. She quickly slipped them on and then accepted the hat Felix was holding out to her. ‘Bye.’ And she was out of the door.
‘Oh, to have the energy of a child,’ Felix stated as he came around the other side of the bed and sat down next to Harriette. When he didn’t make any more effort to move, she turned her head and looked at him.
‘Are you just going to sit there and watch me eat?’
‘Yep.’
‘Have you eaten?’
‘Yep. Come on,’ he urged. ‘It’s getting cold. Don’t want Paulette’s hard work cooking the bacon, eggs and toast to be in vain, do you?’
‘No, sir. I do not.’
‘I’ll keep you company.’
‘Gee, thanks.’
He laughed at her words and she delighted at the sound. ‘You’re certainly happy this morning,’ she stated before taking a sip of her tea. ‘Mmm. Perfect.’
‘You can have coffee before clinic starts but I thought tea might be a nicer, more relaxing way to help you wake up.’
‘Thank you.’ She gestured to the tray. ‘This is very thoughtful.’ And it was. Even though she’d spent a lot of time with Felix since they’d met, there were only a few occasions where she’d witnessed the ‘real’ him, as though he felt the need to keep his inner being hidden from the world. Yet this morning it seemed he was happy to fling open the doors to his inner soul and let the sun shine.
She picked up the knife and fork and began eating the food before it cooled too much. No sooner had she eaten the first mouthful than Felix reached over and snagged a piece of toast from her plate. ‘Hey! I thought you’d already eaten.’
‘Still a bit hungry,’ he mentioned before munching away. And there they sat, Harriette beneath the covers, Felix on top of the covers, eating breakfast together much in the same way they had many times before but never in a bed they’d shared. The intimate setting and the absence of Chloe made Harriette feel highly self-conscious, aware of every movement he made. Some of the dreams she’d had last night started to flood back and, as Felix had featured in them in an even more intimate way than they were presently experiencing, she felt colour suffuse her cheeks.
She quickly finished off her food, then took a large drink of her tea, wanting to be done with breakfast as quickly as possible so that Felix would leave. ‘All done,’ she remarked.
‘You haven’t had your juice yet. Chloe will be most upset if you don’t drink it all, especially as she slopped quite a bit all over the bench when she was trying to pour it.’
‘Oh, the darling,’ Harriette murmured as she started unplaiting her hair. ‘It was a good idea to include her and let her help, even if she did make a mess.’
‘What’s that old saying? More of a hindrance than a help?’
‘Exactly.’ Harriette grinned as she ran her hands through her hair, loosening it up, knowing the plait would have made the tendrils wavy during the night. ‘But she enjoyed being included and that’s the biggest thing at the moment.’ When Felix didn’t make any further comment, she glanced over at him to find him staring at her, his mouth open slightly. ‘What?’
He managed to close his mouth but then slowly shook his head from side to side. Without another word, he leaned closer and removed the breakfast tray from her lap, placing it on the ground. Harriette continued to work the small knots out with her fingers but still watched Felix’s movements, wondering what she’d done to make him stare at her in such a way. His look seemed to be one of confusion, one of incredulity, and she wasn’t sure why.
When he nudged the open bedroom door closed with his foot, then sat on the bed, facing her more than before, her eyes widened in surprise. ‘Felix? What is it?’ Was he about to tell her something private, something personal, something important? She waited.
‘Your hair...’ Tentatively, he reached out a hand and carefully touched her loose hair. ‘You are exquisite, Harriette,’ he murmured as he threaded his fingers through the locks. ‘Such a great colour.’
She swallowed over the sudden dryness of her throat and tried to talk but seemed unable. In fact, this time, she decided to keep completely quiet. Felix was close to her, his gaze taking in her slightly parted lips before flicking back to stare into her eyes once more.
‘I need to know,’ he murmured. ‘Need to see if this chemistry is real and not just a figment of my imagination.’ Even as he spoke, his voice deep and laced with desire, he continued to sift her hair through his fingers. ‘Harriette?’
Was he waiting for an answer from her? ‘Uh...’ She stared into his eyes, amazed at the intensity she could see there, unable to form any other sort of reply.
‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss, wanting more, needing more.’ He stopped touching her hair and instead started caressing her cheek and neck with the tips of his fingers, the touch light and tender and intoxicatingly sensual. ‘I’ve dreamt about you, I’ve dreamt about us kissing, about us being together and—’ He broke off and gazed once more at her mouth, this time running his thumb over the soft suppleness as though he needed to touch her more intimately.
Harriette’s lips parted and her tongue slipped out to wet her lips, licking the tip of his thumb. They gasped in unison, the room filling with the tension of unrepressed desire.
‘Harriette,’ he murmured and began to lower his head, drawing his mouth closer and closer with each passing second. ‘If you want me to stop...’ His words were barely audible but the sound seemed to boom around them.
‘Shh,’ she whispered. ‘Kiss me, Felix. Kiss me now.’
And as though he needed no further coaxing, that was exactly what he did, bringing his mouth to connect with hers, to explore, to taste, to fulfil the need both seemed to be experiencing. He kept the movements gentle, testing, teasing and tantalising both of them. The taste of her lips held a hint of saltiness mixed with sweetness mixed with perfect Harriette-ness.
She placed her hands on his arms as though ensuring he kept his hands at her face, as though ensuring he didn’t pull away, because she simply wasn’t ready for him to do that. He was encouraged by her touch and, slowly but surely, he increased the pressure of the kiss, opening his mouth a bit wider and kissing her as he’d wanted to for what seemed like his entire life. No other woman had made him feel the way Harriette did, accepting him for who he’d been, for who he was now and for who he would be in the future. How was it possible that she had such a capacity to care and that she would choose him of all people to care about?
Although their kiss had intensified, she wasn’t letting him rush ahead, wasn’t letting him speed things up and he liked that, he liked that he could kiss her intensely but slowly, savouring every second, every flavour, every sensation she was evoking within him. She was caring and giving and now she was giving to him. The action only made him want to reciprocate, to make her feel special, to make her feel as though she deserved the utmost in happiness for the rest of her life. Whether or not he was the person to give that to her, he had no idea but the question he’d originally wanted an answer to had been answered in abundance.
With a slight groan, he eased back from her, his hands still cupping her cheeks, his breathing as erratic as hers as he stared into her eyes.
‘Yep. It’s there all right,’ he ground out.
‘Uh-huh,’ she confirmed as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his, both of them breathing heavily. ‘The attraction is awake and definitely alive...’
‘And increasing with each passing moment,’ he finished.
Harriette sighed. ‘What do we do now?’
‘That’s a very good question.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘CLINIC’ WAS THE logical answer to their question even though it wasn’t the one either of them wanted. The homestead seemed to be getting louder and louder as the people who had stayed overnight started to rouse and others who had been driving in for the clinic began to arrive.
All too soon, Harriette and Felix were back at work, seeing patient after patient before packing up around midday and driving out to the next property. Chloe kept up a steady stream of chatter as they drove along, Felix taking a turn behind the wheel and surprising Harriette when he reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a little kiss before he continued driving along the straight bitumen road. When she told him to slow down and take another shortcut, he didn’t quibble but instead turned off and headed across country, unfortunately needing to have both hands on the wheel again.
It was as though that kiss this morning had opened up the unaired part of Felix. He was being demonstrative, jovial, interactive and, well...happy. Even Chloe noticed the difference in him, laughing as he spoke to her in a silly voice and willingly going into his arms when he went to unbuckle her seatbelt. It was as though he’d been given a new lease of life and that night, when they’d finished the clinic, Felix and Harriette sat out on the porch in rocking chairs and watched the sun set. Chloe was snuggled on Harriette’s lap and eventually fell asleep as Harriette rocked steadily back and forth.
‘Another busy and eventful day over,’ he murmured, shifting his rocking chair closer to hers. She couldn’t believe it was only that very morning since he’d kissed her...kissed her in a way she couldn’t ever remember being kissed before and seemed, for all the world, as though he was looking forward to doing it again.
‘Chloe seems to be enjoying the interaction with the other kids who come to the clinics,’ Harriette stated and Felix nodded.
‘It’s good to see her laughing and smiling and joining in.’
‘She deserves happiness.’
‘Yes, she does, as do we all.’
‘Yes,’ Harriette agreed.
There was silence between them for a few minutes, the sounds of the wooden rocking chairs moving back and forth on the wooden porch.
‘What do we do now?’ Harriette asked softly, echoing her question of earlier that morning.
‘I’d like to start by kissing you again,’ he murmured and she couldn’t help but smile at the suggestion.
‘I’d like that too, Felix, but you know what I mean.’
‘I do but it doesn’t mean we need to figure everything out straight away. We’ve only kissed a few times and, although I do intend to repeat the action again and again, there’s no need to plan a future just yet, is there?’
Harriette pondered his words for a moment. ‘I guess as you usually like things all organised and hospital corners, I just thought that—’
‘I’m trying to change, Harriette. I’m trying not to live my life by logic but by emotion. I don’t know how I’m going to progress but I know for now I don’t want to make firm plans, to organise, to sort things out. I just want to...feel and you...you make me feel, Harriette.’
She smiled at his words. ‘You make me feel, too, Felix. Like I can’t ever remember feeling before and that’s a nice thing.’
‘See?’ He reached over and took one of her hands in his and kissed it. ‘Tomorrow, we do our last clinic, then go to Darwin, then head back to Meeraji Lake when we can discuss things.’
‘OK.’ She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it in reciprocation. ‘For now, though, Chloe’s starting to become a dead weight and we need to leave bright and early tomorrow morning.’
‘Then we’d all best get to our beds.’ With that, he let go of her hand, then stood and carefully picked up Chloe from Harriette’s arms. The little girl went without fuss, winding her arms about his neck and resting her head on his shoulder, not waking up at all. ‘Shall we?’ he asked and Harriette nodded. ‘You lead the way as I can’t remember which rooms we were allocated.’
‘Oh. OK.’ She opened the screen door and held it while Felix entered the house with Chloe, then led the way down the quiet hallway of the old homestead until Harriette opened one of the bedroom doors. She quickly pulled back the bed covers so he could put Chloe down. ‘I’ll get her sorted into her night clothes later,’ she stated.
‘She hasn’t brushed her teeth,’ Felix pointed out and, when Harriette shrugged one shoulder, he held up his hand as though to stop her from speaking. ‘I know, I know. One night won’t hurt.’
‘Very good,’ she praised as she covered the little girl with the sheet before turning to face Felix, smiling up at him with delight. ‘You’re a fast learner, Dr McLaren,’ she stated, unable to stop herself from edging closer to him, wishing he would take her in his arms and kiss her goodnight.
He didn’t disappoint and slipped his arms about her waist, bringing their bodies into contact. He immediately lowered his head, their mouths meeting in perfect synchronicity as though they really had been designed for each other. They continued to explore but this time he let her guide them through the tumultuous, raging rapids of desire.
‘You smell so good,’ he murmured as she broke off and pressed soft kisses to his neck, standing on tiptoe so she could reach.
‘You taste so good,’ she replied before seeking his mouth once more, the intensity of their need for each other becoming heightened with each passing second. When Felix’s hand shifted to slide beneath the hem of her top, Harriette instantly stilled.
‘Sorry. Too fast?’ he murmured against her mouth and she eased back to look at him.
‘I...uh...don’t want you to take this the wrong way but...having become pregnant at sixteen and bearing the consequences, I’m...er...not in the habit of becoming intimate with someone until I know where the relationship is going.’ She kept her words as strong as she could because she wanted Felix to continue, wanted to throw caution to the wind and see where it might lead them, but she’d also promised herself decades ago never to let herself be sweet-talked or pressured into doing something she wasn’t ready to do.
‘You’re right. Of course you’re right,’ he remarked and, instead of pulling away as she’d half expected, he simply slipped his hands back around her waist and dropped a kiss to the top of her nose. ‘And of course we need to adhere to lessons learned in the past. I, myself, am usually extremely cautious about the...uh...women I see.’
‘Women?’ She raised an inquisitive eyebrow and grinned before kissing him on the lips when he started to look worried. ‘I’m teasing, Felix. Of course we both have past relationships. You don’t get to our age without having them, but the past is the past and although we need to learn from it, we also can’t let it
dictate our future.’
‘So you do want to sleep with me?’
‘Of course I do but it doesn’t mean I will. For a start, we have Chloe to consider.’ They both looked at the child sleeping soundly in the bed, completely oblivious to what was happening in the room. ‘And I meant what I said. I need to know where things are heading before I can let myself break down that last barrier.’
He kissed her, then put her from him. ‘Just as well we’re not sharing a room tonight.’
‘Just as well,’ she agreed and couldn’t help but laugh as he took her hand in his, kissed it, then bowed and closed the bedroom door behind him. ‘Good night,’ she called softly, not at all sure he’d heard her.
‘Sleep sweet,’ he returned, equally quiet, and Harriette couldn’t help but clasp her hands to her chest and giggle with happiness. No matter what might or might not happen between herself and Felix in the near future, for the moment—right for now—she was happy, and happy was good.
* * *
The next morning, they were up with the birds and watching the sun rise as they drove. Once more, Felix had been attentive towards both her and Chloe and Harriette was pleased to see the real Felix, the man she’d always known was buried deep inside him, starting to venture out. Part of her wanted to know why and the other part simply wanted to accept and enjoy. If she questioned him, she risked him clamming up, which she most certainly didn’t want. Instead, she tried to take her own advice and not worry, not try to think fifty steps ahead as she’d conditioned herself to do.
‘Have you heard from Eddie? You haven’t been able to speak to him online due to having no Internet connection out here,’ Felix asked as the sun started to rise in the sky, the greys of the morning changing to muted reds, blues and greens.
‘I told him before we left that it might be difficult to contact me but we should be nearing Internet and cell-phone range soon so hopefully my phone will buzz with lots of delightful messages from my boy.’