by CJ Murphy
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Maggie. We never had the money for me to fly back and forth. I took summer jobs to pay the bills for the small apartment I shared with two other girls. That wasn’t what kept me from coming home. I missed my brother and my dad, but life without her constant scrutiny allowed me to breathe.”
Maggie wrapped Jax in a hug. “No child should ever feel that way. I know things got rough after you met Chance.”
Jax nodded. “That’s putting it mildly. She put the vice grips on me after that. I never understood why until you told us about what happened. I’m not going to say I wish things had turned out differently for her. When I try to imagine you with her, it looks like a puzzle piece that someone tried to line up but couldn’t fit well. Hell, for that matter, like an entirely different puzzle.”
Maggie walked back to the stove and stirred one of the pots. “Jackie was always complicated. Nothing ever fit, as you say. She was never content with anything. It was like she was always searching. For what, none of us knew, just that she’d never stay here in what she considered the backwoods. Whatever she was searching for didn’t exist here. I always assumed that was why she changed her plans about where she was going to school and ended up at James Madison. In the end, she met your father, and they moved to Richmond. She never came back here much, not even for holidays.”
Jax shook her head. “No, I can’t even remember her coming to visit Grandma and Grandpa. Uncle Marty used to come and pick us up when we stayed with them. Always strange.”
Maggie turned to her. “Well, you always have a family here. I know I’m not your mom, but you can always think of us as your moms-squared too.”
Jax wiped away a tear. “That means more to me than you will ever know.”
They continued to work on the meal preparation. By one o’clock, everyone had gathered around Maggie and Dee’s large family table. A second table butted up against the first to make room for all those gathered. Dee sat at the head of the table and tapped her glass with her knife. “It’s a tradition in this family that we start the meal by saying at least one thing that we are thankful for. I’ll go first, and we’ll go around the table to my left. I’m thankful that both of my children have found wonderful people to add to our family. I want to say welcome to both Jax and Brandi. I’d also like to extend a warm welcome to Mike and Marty as you join this circus.”
Everyone continued around the table until Jax was the last person to speak. She’d listened to Chance say how grateful she was to have her back in her life and that soon they’d be married. She leaned over and kissed Chance softly. “Sweet talker.” She turned to the rest of the table. “I spent a lifetime in California, surrounded by people and things that never meant as much to me as the people at this table. I’ve been given a second chance at a life I always dreamed about. I’m grateful that I wake up every day knowing what true love is and understanding that family is more than just our DNA, it’s a group of people who love and treasure the bonds they share. All of you are what I am grateful for.” She looked at her father and uncle before she let her gaze visit the rest of those gathered. She raised her glass. “A family both of blood and of choice.”
***
That evening, as they got ready for bed, Jax heard Chance groan. “Too much turkey? Maybe it was that second piece of pumpkin pie I saw you shovel away.”
Chance turned with a glance that was pure sheepishness. “How’d you see that?”
“Eyes in the back of my head, my love. Plus, I know how much you love Kristi’s pie.”
“She should have been a baker. That woman kept me in cookies long after Mom stopped making them for me.” Chance stepped closer to Jax and wrapped her arms around her. “How’s your leg?”
Jax sighed. “I was on it more than I should have been. Despite therapy, it tires quickly. I just wish I wasn’t going to be in a cast for our wedding.”
“It’s going to be fine. Don’t worry, we’ll get you in the saddle on Glenny. If we have to, we’ll skip the horseback part altogether.”
Jax planted her hands on her hips. “No, that’s the wedding we wanted and the wedding we are going to have.”
Chance pulled her shirt over her head. “You know the other thing I’m thankful for?”
“That you can run off that pie tomorrow morning?” Jax slid down her loose track pants and sat on the bed to pull them over the walking cast.
Chance laughed. “That too. No, I’m thankful Brad accepted the plea deal. Marsha gave him two days to decide, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go. If he hadn’t taken the deal, we’d be going to court on Monday.”
Jax unbuttoned her blouse. “I know Penny is relieved. Taylor is livid, but that’s because she wanted to bury Brad under the jail. Thank God for small miracles. That puts it to rest, right?”
“Yes. No civil service hearing. Brad retires, and we move forward to a better department without him. What’s really bothering you?” Chance kissed her temple.
Jax sighed and leaned into her lover. “Mom. She emailed me a news link from California about Lacey expanding the clinic and hiring two new veterinarians. Why she thinks I would give a shit, I’ll never know. If she thinks she’s making me jealous or trying to show me what I’m missing out on, she’s wrong. I’ll take my practice any day over that rat race.”
“Honey, I’ve come to believe that your mother is a deeply unhappy woman. That isn’t going to change, any more than you’re going to suddenly agree with her. There’s a prayer that talks about being granted serenity to accept the things we can’t change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. You dared to change your life and come back here to start a new one. Now you need to accept that your mother is never going to approve of me or be happy for us. Ask yourself what about our life will change if she never accepts us.”
“Nothing, nothing would change.”
Chance nodded. “Exactly. We’re going to get married with or without her blessing. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together, with or without her blessing. I’m happy your dad will be there. Time may eventually change her, but I won’t hold my breath, and neither should you. If you think it would help, I’d gladly go have another conversation with her.”
Jax finished undressing and slid into bed, beckoning Chance to join her. “No, if anyone needs to have a conversation with her, it should be me. Maybe someday, but not now. Right now, what I want is to feel your body up against mine.”
“I like that plan.”
“The truth is, I have other plans for you well before that.” Jax held her lover tight to her own body and brushed her fingers between Chance’s legs.
“Tell me those plans include making love?”
Jax pressed her lips to the side of Chance’s neck. “Repeatedly.” She ran her tongue around the rim of the ear closest to her. “And so much more, Sheriff.”
“You silver-tongued devil.” Chance settled between Jax’s legs. Passionate kisses, followed by a warm hand that cupped her cheek, instantly transformed Jax into a boneless shell. She relaxed into the touch and brought her hands to Chance’s face. “I love you so much, Chance.”
“Good thing, because I refuse to live one more moment without that love. Nothing has ever freed me from everything like your kiss.”
Jax watched as Chance lowered her head and kissed her again before she felt a calloused finger trace her lower lip. She tentatively touched it with her tongue before drawing it into her mouth. Chance’s moan of pleasure let her know she was having a definite effect on her fiancée. Gunmetal-blue eyes bore a hole straight into Jax’s soul. As the pupils dilated, the color was replaced with a reflection of pure desire. When the finger was withdrawn, Jax uttered four simple words that were a request she knew Chance would be happy to fulfill. “Make love to me.”
“With pleasure.”
Jax felt her center clench, as Chance placed a line of soft, wet kisses from the corner of her mouth down her jaw, until
she stopped at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. The sensation of teeth grazing her pulse point caused a gasp to escape from her lips. “Oh God, Chance.”
The kisses started again. Seconds later, Chance hovered over her breast. Jax put her hands on the sides of Chance’s face and guided her exactly where she needed those lips. When soft lips closed around her nipple, her back arched in pleasure. The sensual assault continued, as teeth grazed the untouched nipples until both were in stiff peaks. Jax burrowed her hands in Chance’s hair and traveled with her while kisses rained down on her abdomen and landed on each hip bone and the small hollows beside them. Chance nestled between Jax’s legs and looked up.
“I love you, Chance.” Jax stared intently at her lover.
“I love you back, and I’m about to show you how much. You’ll tell me if I hurt your leg, right?”
Jax gently pushed Chance’s head where she wanted her. Hot breath wafted across her center, causing Jax to shiver with desire seconds before Chance’s tongue touched her most sensitive areas. Every nerve ending fired off, as fingers slid inside her and made her clit pulse. Conscious thought was completely absorbed by the feeling of soft suckles and flat licks. Jax found and locked on her lover’s eyes, driven higher and higher by Chance’s deep strokes. In moments like this, Jax found safety for her heart and a solid resolve in the love that would survive any storm. Seconds later, she felt the telltale tremors start as her body yielded to a bone-melting climax. “Chance!”
The next thing Jax became aware of were strong arms that gathered her in and held her close. They rarely spoke in those few moments after making love, preferring to enjoy the quiet with nothing between them. Chance’s fingers gently stroked up and down her back, and soft kisses fell on her forehead. Jax tilted her head up to capture those lips in a sweet kiss.
“Welcome back.”
Jax chuckled. “You do have a knack for completely exhausting me in the best way possible.”
“I prefer to think of relaxing you rather than exhausting you.” Chance shifted a bit in the bed until their eyes met. “Consider me your personal relaxation therapist.”
“I like the sound of that. Although, on the way to the relaxation part, you have a unique ability to cause my pulse to race.” Jax kissed the nipple that lay close to her lips and felt Chance jerk slightly.
“You don’t say.”
“I do say. I think it’s time for me to return the favor.” Jax urged Chance on top of her again and leaned up to deliver a searing kiss. “I want you, Chance Fitzsimmons, and I intend to show you exactly how much.” Jax slid her hands down Chance’s sides and urged her up over her mouth. She vowed to never take a single day with Chance for granted. As she savored the taste of the woman she loved, Jax knew she would do anything to wake up beside this woman for the rest of her days. Christmas couldn’t come soon enough, as far as she was concerned.
Chapter Twenty-five
THE NEXT FEW WEEKS flew by, and before they realized it, they were in the throes of Christmas preparations. The busy holiday season should have given Chance a sense of relief with the Brad and Leland dramas out of the way. She still felt a bit edgy. The end of the year always brought a slew of reports that needed to be filed and last-minute court appearances to close cases before the holiday break. To shake the feeling, Chance invited Taylor to go Christmas shopping one afternoon.
Taylor asked Jax if she would come over and spend the day with Penny. She’d confided that she was terrified of something happening to her wife and child so close to delivery. Jax had readily agreed and the two were going to spend the day putting the final touches on the nursery.
Chance snuck a glance at Taylor whose leg was bouncing in the passenger seat. “Stop worrying, Jax is with her.”
Taylor rubbed the back of her neck. “I can’t help it. If she breathes too slowly, I panic. If I ask to check her blood sugar one more time, she’s likely to punch holes in the ends of my fingers.”
“The last few months haven’t been easy for either of us. Love has made us nervous wrecks.”
“You can say that again. I’d rather face ten Leland Kursts than think about Penny going into labor. I’m afraid I’m going to faceplant right in the delivery room.”
Chance put a hand on Taylor’s shoulder. “You’re going to be a terrific mom. Don’t worry so much. You’ll be there for her when she needs you most; I know it.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“True, but I believe in you. It’s why I trust you with my life and that of my family without worry. Remember that.”
They drove on to the mall in silence, until Taylor changed the subject. “How about you? Starting to get nervous about the wedding?”
Chance chuckled. “Only about getting Jax and her cast in the saddle.”
“You guys are still planning horseback?”
“Yeah, but not as far from the house as we’d originally planned. You’ll be able to drive there in your Cherokee. Putting Penny in a wagon at this point isn’t happening. We have that little bluff that looks over the field. I’m just hoping for snow.”
“Either way, it’s about damn time you get hitched. You’re like a different person with Jax around. I’ve never seen you enjoy life more.”
Chance parked the Tundra. “My friend, you hit it on the head. For the first time in my life, I have no doubts. I missed years with her. I just hate that she and her mother are at odds. The woman hates my family and is none too happy her daughter is about to become a Fitzsimmons.”
They exited the vehicle and walked into the mall’s entrance.
“So Jax is going to take your last name?” Taylor checked her phone.
Chance nodded. “She is. I think it’s one more way of separating herself from Jacqueline. She never took her ex-wife’s last name. Something about professional issues with licenses and such. Now, she just doesn’t care about the paperwork a name change is going to create. Jax wants to be my wife in every sense of the word. She’s still her own person, but she wants to be a Fitzsimmons now.”
Taylor put a hand on Chance’s back. “I think she already is, in everything but name. Come on, according to my phone, it’s going to take six hours of face time with my wife to pick out things for the baby. The doctor doesn’t want her traveling unnecessarily. The UPS driver has been getting a workout delivering all those Amazon boxes to my house daily. These are things she wants me to look at in person today. How about your shopping list?”
Chance pointed to her head. “Got it all right here. The only thing I might have trouble finding is a particular brand of Scotch Jax’s dad enjoys. I don’t think we can get that here at the mall, but I know a liquor store in this area we can try.” Chance looked at her watch. “Let’s meet back here in an hour, then I’ll help you with your list. Here’s an extra key to my truck if you have things you want to go ahead and put out there before we meet up. May the force be with you.”
***
It was a week before Christmas, and more importantly, her wedding. Jax sat at her desk at the animal hospital, looking over the mound of charts she needed to work on. As fast as this place is growing, I’m going to have to hire more staff. A receptionist for sure. She and Lindsey were working five days a week, and there was a need for late evening and weekend hours. Brandi offered to come and help during Christmas break.
Jax had been surprised when Brandi remarked that she wasn’t going home. Brandi wanted to be with Kendra for both the wedding and Christmas. The opportunity to enjoy a white Christmas and some ski time was a definite draw for a native of California’s North Coast. Pretty sure the opportunity for a romantic Christmas also has its own appeal. Well Jax, this isn’t getting those charts done. She picked up the first one and had just put pen to paper when Lindsey knocked on the door.
“You need a break.”
Jax threw down her pen and pushed her long hair back. She gathered it up and pulled the hairband from around her wrist to tie the strands back. “I know, but I need to finish these charts so you
can enter them. I’ve come to a conclusion. It’s time to hire someone to do the secretary’s position.” Jax held up a hand, stifling Lindsey’s protest. “It’s not that I don’t think you can do it; it’s that I need you for other things. I also need to start thinking about what will happen when you accept that scholarship to go to vet school.”
Lindsey crossed her arms. “I’m still planning on working. I have to. Meg’s salary alone won’t carry us while I go to school.”
“Don’t worry. Your position here is safe with as many hours as you want. That’s why I’m thinking of bringing on another vet who can handle evenings and weekends. Your classes will be during the day, so you’ll be able to keep your full-time position by working what days, evenings, and weekends you want. That scholarship comes with a stipend for living expenses as well.”
“You’re really ready for someone else to step in here?”
Jax put her head back on her chair and put up her thumping leg on the edge of the desk. “I am. Honestly, at this point in my life, it can’t all be about work. I did that in California, and I lost sight of the things I loved riding my horses and even a nice candlelight dinner at home. Not that I really wanted that with Lacey, but you get the idea. Now, I have someone I do want those things with, and she’s about to be my wife. That’s something I don’t ever want to take for granted.”
Lindsey nodded. “I get that. Meg and I don’t get to spend nearly enough time together, even though we’re now married. With her shift work, sometimes it seems like we just pass each other at the door with coffee. The difference is, I know she’s always there for me, no matter where she is. I also know I sleep better knowing Leland Kurst is locked behind bars.”
“That makes two of us. How are you doing with what happened to us?”
Lindsey came in and sat down in the chair in front of Jax’s desk. “The nightmares are better. Mom had to come and stay with me for a while, when Meg was on shift. Physically, I’m fine. Mentally, I get better every day. I know his trial will be coming up and we’ll have to drag it all up again. He could have killed both of us, and for what? Because we didn’t want anything to do with him. This constant harassment from these idiots who think we just haven’t met the right man drives me crazy. Why can’t they just accept we aren’t interested?”