by Aimee Carter
“What?” I said cautiously, pausing in front of her.
“Don’t waste it. Tell everyone what happened with Minister Creed and Minister Ferras. Tell them we’re being held hostage and used against each other. Tell them what kind of monster Victor Mercer is, and don’t pull any punches. If I can’t rally them, then you have to. And whatever you do—” She leveled her gaze at me. “Don’t you dare let Knox get in front of a camera again.”
We stared at one another, and I took a shaky breath. “If I survive long enough, I will.”
I limped through the doorway, collapsing on the chaise longue at the foot of the bed. Lila rolled her eyes at me. “Would you stop acting like he’s going to kill you? He won’t. You’re his favorite toy.”
“And he doesn’t want to let anyone else play with me,” I muttered.
Lila shut the door and locked it. “Fine. You know what? If you don’t want to go, then I will.”
I winced and slowly unwrapped my bad foot. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She sniffed and went to the freezer, wordlessly tossing me an ice pack. “You heard me. If you’re too chicken to go, then I will.”
“But—” I stared at her for so long that my palm began to grow numb, and I hastily pressed the ice pack against my foot instead. “Daxton will know we’ve switched. He’ll use it as an excuse to kill both of us.”
“Not if we’re careful. And besides, we only have to fake it long enough to get me on the helicopter.” Her blue eyes were bright with excitement, and she studied me closely. “We’re still exact matches, and all it would take is five minutes at the most—that’s all we’d have to pretend to be each other.”
“You’d have to pretend to be me for five minutes,” I corrected. “I would have to be you for the rest of the war, otherwise you know Daxton will take it out on Greyson.”
She knelt beside the chaise, taking my cold hand in hers. “Then pretend to be me. Please, Kitty. We can do this—I know we can. You fooled my own mother once. There’s no way you won’t be able to fool that megalomaniac, too.”
My heart pounded, and my mouth went dry. “I can’t do that. You know I can’t do that. What if something happens to you? What if he drops you off in the middle of nowhere? What if it really is a trap?”
“Then at least I won’t be here,” she said fiercely. “And that’s worth the risk to me, Kitty. Maybe it isn’t to you, but to me—I would do anything to get out of here.”
I blinked rapidly, a million thoughts running through my mind. Half of them were reasons why this couldn’t possibly work, but the other half were reasons why it could. And reasons why it should. Everything she wanted me to tell the world—it would mean infinitely more coming from her. If the real Lila Hart were on live television, telling the truth about what had happened, then even the staunchest Daxton supporters would have no choice but to question everything. Or at least enough to break through to them, one by one, bit by bit. That was all we really needed. That extra push that could turn the tables on Daxton and give the Blackcoats the power they needed.
It was worth the risk. Especially if Lila was willing to take it. No, not willing—eager. She stared at me, practically begging, and the hope shining in her eyes was almost enough to make me agree.
“My foot is broken,” I said at last, but even to my ears, I sounded pathetic. “And there’s an X on the back of my neck, remember? My rank is gone. No one will believe I’m you.”
“They don’t have to, as long as they believe I’m you.” Lila stood and moved to the cupboards and cabinets that filled the white room, and I instantly knew what she was doing. It may have been my bedroom at the moment, but it was also more fully stocked than any hospital room in the country. “We can give me an X. And we’ll give you pain medication for your foot so you’ll be able to walk on it.”
“What if it doesn’t heal right? What if I have a limp for the rest of my life?” I said.
“So what? Add it to the list.” She pulled out several items from the cabinets and tossed them on the bed. “We can work on the details.”
I winced. “Lila—”
“What? Is a limp that big a deal to you? Daxton doesn’t ask to see us much anyway, so you can just stay in here and let it heal.”
I shook my head. “It isn’t that. It’s too risky. They might check my neck. They will check yours, and if they touch it, they’ll feel your VII.”
“They won’t,” said Lila firmly. “No one is crazy enough to X out a VII. No one.”
“Except you.”
“Yeah, well.” She shrugged. “I don’t want to be me anymore. You can be me—you’re good at being me. But I’m done. I don’t care about the risk involved. I don’t care where I end up. I just want to be gone, Kitty. I want to be free. And if that means dying in the middle of nowhere, then fine. I’d rather die out there tomorrow than die in here a hundred years from now.”
It was the feeling behind her words—deep, unshakable, and full of everything she wanted for herself in her own life—that struck a chord within me, and finally I had no choice but to relent. Because I knew that feeling. I’d lived that feeling every day of my life as Lila, and if one of us had the chance to escape and start over, it should have been her. She had been Lila Hart far longer than I had, after all. She deserved a break. “Okay. If you’re sure this is what you really want.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and she broke out into a wide grin. “I’m positive.”
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that the sickening copper taste of blood filled my mouth. This was crazy. Insane. A million things could go wrong, and it would only take one for Daxton to discover us. One wrong move. One wrong look. One wrong anything, and it was over. At best, we would both be stuck here; at worst, we would both be dead. “We can’t tell anyone. Not even Greyson. Not until you’re gone,” I said, my voice trembling. He was going to kill me. And if Knox ever found out, he’d resurrect me and kill me again.
“I know,” she said firmly, but it wasn’t enough to settle my nerves. “This is just between you and me.”
“And—and if anything does go wrong—”
“We’ll figure it out.” She exhaled sharply and focused on me again. “You need to protect him, all right? You need to do everything you can to make sure Greyson makes it out of this in one piece. As soon as Victor thinks he’s about to lose, he’ll go after Greyson. I know he will.”
“I’ll protect him,” I said. “And I’ll find a way to kill Victor. It won’t be easy, but—”
“If anyone can, it’s you.” She pressed her lips together, and for a moment, guilt flashed across her face. “I shouldn’t leave him.”
“He’ll understand,” I said gently. “He knows how hard you’ve had it. And I think he’ll be glad at least one of you got to be free.”
Lila nodded, a jerky gesture that didn’t look natural. “He’s my best friend, and he’s the only real family I have left. So please, just—make sure he’s okay.”
“I will,” I promised. “No matter what. But, Lila—” I paused. “I know you’ve never liked me, but you and I are cousins, too. You’ll always have me. And your mom loves you. And Knox. You have more people in your life than you realize, and once this war’s over, we’ll get to be a normal family. No backstabbing or plotting or murders. Just family.”
She shook her head with a rueful smirk. “Maybe, but we’ll never be normal.”
“Probably not,” I agreed. “Could be fun to try, though.”
“You have a very strange definition of fun,” she said, and I managed a smile. She wasn’t wrong.
We spent the next several hours taking care of the details. The first thing we did was brand an X into the back of her neck with a small laser she’d found—the same kind Hannah had used on me my first day in Elsewhere. I was careful to match my X exactly, and though it wa
s a punch to my gut, permanently marring Lila’s perfect VII tattoo, she beamed as soon as she saw it.
A cream took care of the redness and swelling, and we did her nails to match mine. Once Lila had painstakingly duplicated my makeup from the interview, I scrubbed it off my face and let her replicate her usual look on me instead. We switched outfits, shoes, hairstyles—and finally the time came to figure out how to make this work with my broken foot.
“You need to be on the roof,” she said as she gently inspected it. It was still swollen enough that wearing shoes would be difficult. “I’m going to pump you full of painkillers and give you a shot to make the swelling disappear. It won’t be comfortable, but you’ll be able to walk.”
“Do you think this is enough to fool Greyson?” I said. I hated lying to him, but he couldn’t know, not until Lila was safely gone.
“Just pretend to be mad at him for making the deal,” she said. “If you can sell that, he won’t notice any other differences. Not right away, at least.”
I nodded. “And you can do my accent, right?”
“What, you mean sound like I grew up in the slums and never read a book in my life?” she said, in a perfect imitation of my voice and dialect.
“You’re horrible,” I said, and she shrugged, producing a needle from one of the cabinets.
“You’ve known that for months. Now hold still—this might pinch.”
At fifteen minutes to midnight, we walked down the hallway together. She limped on my crutches, my brace on her foot and my grimace on her lips. Meanwhile, I walked beside her, my foot almost numb. I would pay for this as soon as the painkillers wore off, but for now, Lila’s plan was working.
“Remember, you’re pissed off at Greyson,” she said as we stepped into the mirrored elevator. “Don’t be nice to him. I know it’s hard—he’s like a baby animal sometimes. It’s impossible to be mean to him. But you have to sell this, got it?”
“Got it,” I said, and I carefully adjusted my collar so the chain of my necklace wouldn’t show. I couldn’t bear to part with it, but I kept it hidden underneath my clothes most of the time anyway. Greyson would never notice. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Positive,” she said. “This is exactly what I want.”
At least one of us was certain, and I took comfort in that. We were silent on the ride up to the roof, and when the doors opened, a blast of frigid wind hit us. I pulled up the hood of Lila’s coat and shivered. She wore my bomber jacket, the one I’d worn while trying to sneak into Somerset, and I almost felt bad it wasn’t heavier. But in her excitement, Lila didn’t seem to notice the icy air.
The helicopter was already on the roof waiting for us, and the pilot stood nearby, along with several guards. I wasn’t sure what they thought we were going to do—hop on the helicopter with Lila?—but Greyson stood toward the edge, his hands shoved in his pockets and a thick scarf wrapped around his neck.
I kept my distance and did my best to look as silently furious about the whole thing as possible. Lila, on the other hand, approached Greyson and caught him in a hug, dropping one of her crutches in the process. I held my breath, waiting for her to put her foot down and give us both away, but instead Greyson ducked down and got it for her.
She had the hard job, I figured—she was the one who had to convince Greyson she was me. But if he suspected anything, he didn’t let on. As I wandered toward them, making sure not to limp, they hugged again, and I saw Lila whisper I love you into his ear. It was true for both of us, but from my vantage point, I could see the flash of pain on her face when she said it, and I knew that was directly from her.
She approached me next and caught me in a hug as well, this time holding on to her crutches. “Remember what I said,” she whispered, and I nodded. “Now glare at me while I go.”
I did exactly that, burning a hole in her head as she hobbled toward the helicopter. One of the guards stopped her and brushed her hair away from the back of her neck, and my heart pounded as I waited for him to touch the scarred X and feel the VII underneath, rather than the III on mine. It was the only difference between us and the only way to tell us apart for sure, but Lila was right; apparently the guard didn’t think anyone would purposely X out their VII like that, and he let her go without touching her skin.
Relieved, I watched as the pilot opened the door for her, and she climbed in with effort, selling the whole broken foot thing. It was impressive, and if I hadn’t known any better, I would have thought she was me. I could only hope the same held true for Greyson.
“Goodbyes are always difficult, aren’t they?” said an oily voice near my ear, and I set my jaw.
“Did you even think about sending us instead?” I spat, exactly the way Lila would have. The pilot hopped inside, and the blades began to spin. I held on tightly to my hood as it threatened to fly off. The last thing I needed was Daxton discovering the switch before Lila was safely off the mountain.
“Of course, but you made far too strong a point, darling. I delight in the thought of getting to show the Blackcoats my merciful side.”
“You don’t have a merciful side,” I said as the helicopter rose in the air and turned, heading toward the horizon. A trickle of regret ran through me—that could have been me getting out of this place, heading back to Knox and Benjy and the Blackcoats. But Lila had lived her whole life under her family’s rule one way or the other; she deserved to know what it was like to make her own choices for once.
“Don’t I?” His voice grew thoughtful. “I suppose you’re right, my dear Lila.”
“Kitty?”
Greyson’s voice crackled in my ear, and it took every bit of willpower I possessed not to react. The ear cuff, I realized. I’d forgotten to give Lila the ear cuff.
“Kitty, can you hear me?”
I saw Greyson moving his lips, his brow furrowed as he fiddled with his sleeve. He thought it didn’t work. But then our eyes met, and a look of horror passed over his face.
He knew.
At that exact moment, a strange whistling sound echoed across the mountain range, and Greyson turned white. Confusion coursed through me, and I opened my mouth to ask if he was okay.
But then I saw it—a trail of light in the dark sky, whirling away from us at a horrifyingly fast pace.
And just as I put the pieces together, that trail of light reached the helicopter in the distance, and a fiery explosion lit the horizon.
“Mercy is terribly overrated,” said Daxton calmly, and as he walked away, I watched in silent shock as the burning helicopter fell from the sky and crashed into the mountains below.
IX
Ghosts
I didn’t remember how I got back to Lila’s bedroom. Someone was screaming—it might have been me, or it might have been Greyson—and I vaguely recalled strong arms around my torso, carrying me somewhere. But when I came to, I was once again lying in bed with no real memory of how I got there.
Lila was dead. If there was anything left of her, it was scattered on the side of a mountain now, and I was the only person who knew it was her. Everyone else thought it was me. It should have been me. I should never have traded places with her. I should have seen this coming. Daxton was never kind or generous—he was only cruel and sadistic, and of course he never intended to let any of us out of here alive. Of course he wanted to permanently silence the mouthpiece of the opposition, as soon as I’d told the country everything he’d wanted me to say. I should have known. I should have known.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid.
And Lila had been the one to pay the price.
“Was it her idea, or—or was it yours?”
I looked over at the couch, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. I was wrong. I wasn’t the only one who knew it had been Lila.
Greyson sat on the sofa, his head in his hands and
his shoulders shaking. His sleeves fell to his elbows, and I spotted red impressions of hands much larger than his own on his forearms. “I just want to know,” he said thickly. “She was so angry at me. She knew it was the right thing to do, and she knew—she knew she had to play along, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to leave. She wanted out of here so damn badly, and—”
“It doesn’t matter. I went along with it. I let her take my place,” I whispered. My throat was sore. Maybe I’d been the one screaming after all. “I didn’t know—I had no idea Daxton would—”
Greyson let out a choking sob, and I sat up, not knowing what to do. I had no right to cry over Lila’s death. She’d never liked me, not really. I couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t have liked someone living my life, either. But Greyson loved her, and he’d already lost her once, when they’d had me Masked in the first place and we’d all thought Daxton’s assassination plot had worked. And now he’d had to watch her die for real, right in front of him, and this time there was no possibility that she’d managed to sneak away. We’d both seen her get on that helicopter. Whether or not they ever bothered to find her body, there was no question she was gone.
Greyson stood at last and came to sit on my bed. He made no move to hug me, but he leaned against the headboard beside me and pulled his feet up next to mine, and we sat there together in silence for more seconds than I could count. I didn’t dare say anything. There was nothing I could say to make this any easier for him, and if I hadn’t already lost him completely, I didn’t want to hurt him even more.
“Thank you,” he said hoarsely, and he sniffed. I turned my head to look at him, my brow furrowed. “For—for giving her that chance. You didn’t know it would end like this. And Lila—” His voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it. “She didn’t feel any pain. It happened too fast. She probably didn’t even realize...” He wiped his eyes. “All she wanted was to leave. She died happy.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, either, so instead I took his hand. He didn’t pull away.