by M. J. Reed
The department heads looked on with approval as I, along with several of my most senior enforcers, led Sade to the recesses of the seventh level of the city. All Reglin Charr could do was watch as his daughter was taken away.
Chapter 18
I rolled over to glance at the clock on my wall, again. I’ve hardly slept. I’ve spent most of the night lying in bed and thinking about my last conversation with Lonn. It’s almost like he doesn’t care that he’s scheduled to marry someone else tomorrow. I can’t believe he would even suggest I share him! Maybe, I don’t know him as well as I thought. I rolled over again and sighed in exasperation at my pillow. I’m gonna be so tired tomorrow.
I always believed that Lonn and I were destined to be together. Now, after hearing that Dr. Ward had changed some of the matches, I’m not sure if we were meant to be matched up and some external force has interfered, or if we weren’t supposed to wind up together at all. Maybe destiny doesn’t have anything to do with this. What if I just deluded myself into thinking that being with Lonn was my only option? I told him I love him, but did I really mean it? The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I was in love with Lonn, or if I was just in love with the idea of him. I wanted to get married and start a family so badly. What if I was only with Lonn because I wanted those things, and not because of who he is as a person?
I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to get comfortable when the things making you uncomfortable are the thoughts in your own head. I willed myself to think of anything but Lonn, and instead, Wyatt popped into my head. Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot closer to Wyatt than I have to Lonn. Wyatt hasn’t been here long, but he already feels like my best friend. Maybe, he’s more than that. I had been trying to keep myself from thinking about Wyatt, but in the dark, alone, I gave in. I set my mind free. I let myself explore the quiet, intimate holiness of loving someone beyond reason. Of loving someone in secret, even from myself.
There was a light knock on my door. “Are you okay?” A low voice questioned, easing the door open.
“Lonn?” I whispered sleepily. I was groggy, but I knew enough to stay quiet to keep from waking my dad. Even though I had just been thinking of another man, I was happy Lonn had come to see me. His arrival felt like a sign. I can’t believe I doubted Lonn, even for a minute. Wyatt and I have chemistry, but how can that compare with our history together?
“Hey,” I called to him quietly, smiling into the darkness. “I’m glad you came back.”
He didn’t answer. I felt the bed sink beneath his weight as Lonn crawled beside me. The room was dark, but I could tell exactly where he was. Strong hands traced their way along my body. He was so close that I could feel his heart beating. As he moved to lie next to me, my bed creaked beneath our combined weight.
“We can’t.” I breathed, battling my own exhilaration. “My dad will hear us.” My head swam with excitement even as I protested.
A strong arm wound around my waist and pulled me close, and his lips met mine. I lived in a world of contradictions. I was hot, but covered with goosebumps; excited, but terrified; calm, but frantic. I was drunk with emotion, and I loved it.
“I don’t care.” He whispered. But the voice that replied wasn’t Lonn.
“Wyatt?” I asked, surprised, but not displeased.
He pulled me in for another kiss, and I melted. I felt safe and warm as I pressed myself against him. His rough hand rested on the small of my back and drifted downwards. My heart pounded as I struggled to unbutton his shirt.
Wyatt’s fingers moved to the front of my pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped them deftly, and gently as if he were savoring undressing me. I arched my back, lifting myself so he could slip them off. He took advantage of my change in position, pulling my pants off with one fluid motion, then moving to kiss his way along my neck.
I pulled him onto me. Sex has always been described to me as painful, sinful, and something that was meant only for a man and his wife. As Wyatt pressed me into the bed, his fingers dipping below the waistband of my panties, I knew that he would never do anything to hurt me, but that everything I wanted to do with him was incredibly sinful.
“Cora!” I heard my father yell. “Cora, breakfast is ready!” My dad called from downstairs. There was a hint of irritation in his voice, suggesting he had been trying to call me to the table for a while.
I sat bolt upright in bed, flushed and covered in sweat. I guess I fell asleep after all. I thought, adjusting to the fact that my tryst with Wyatt had only been a dream. Almost a shame I had to wake up. I felt a twinge of guilt. But it was just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. “Coming!” I yelled down the stairs, forcing myself to get up and get dressed.
I’ve spent a lot of time and energy maintaining a relationship with Lonn, and I don’t want all of that effort to go to waste, but when I’m around Wyatt, everything feels simpler. The conversations flow naturally, the silences are comfortable, and we have a lot in common. Plus, we have great chemistry. I can’t think like that. I did my best to shake the dream off as I got ready for the day, but as soon as I got downstairs I saw Wyatt sitting at the table with my dad and my midnight fantasy came flooding back.
He raised his brows at me slightly as I settled onto a chair as far away from him as possible. “How are you?” He asked, sipping from one of our teal mugs.
I couldn’t help but blush when I saw him. “I’m good.” Get it together. It was just a dream! It probably only happened because we’ve been spending so much time together. I looked away, doing my best to hide the blush from my father. I wonder if Wyatt’s had any dreams about me.
Since his arrival in Departure Wyatt has had a shower, been loaned some clean clothes that fit him well, and has shaved, emphasizing his strong jawline. Sitting across from him at the breakfast table, I did my best to ignore him, but I couldn’t help but imagine what it would have been like if Wyatt Cascade had been my first kiss instead of Lonn Amici.
I became acutely aware of my appearance. I had been up crying and worrying most of the night, and I’m sure that I have dark circles under my eyes. My outfit left much to be desired. I had gotten dressed in a hurry, and the shorts and belted tank I had decided to wear were tragically understated. It doesn’t matter how I look. I inwardly chastised myself. My priority now needs to be finding out if I was meant to be matched with Lonn.
The harder I tried not to think about Wyatt, the harder it was to focus on anything, or anyone, else. I picked at my breakfast absently as I stewed in my own thoughts. In my dream, when I thought Lonn came to my room to see me, I took it as the sign I had been waiting for that we should be together. Maybe, dreaming about Wyatt is actually the sign I needed? I let myself glance up at Wyatt, and we locked eyes. He’s watching me. My heart fluttered, and I forced myself to look away. I hope I didn’t hurt Wyatt’s feelings when I told Lonn I loved him last night.
“You going to take Wyatt around the upper levels of the city today?” My dad asked as if we hadn’t just had a fight the night before. “Maybe, you two could look around the market?” He suggested. He looked at me, but his eyes seemed distant. He must be thinking about work, again. Seeing my father so disengaged irritates me. I guess I should be grateful. If he paid more attention to me, he would probably just find more reasons to be disappointed in me.
I nodded, pleased to have some time away from my dad. And some time alone with Wyatt. “Yeah. I can show him around.”
My dad stood. “I’ve got to get a few things ready for work. You two have fun!” He headed for his office. “If you want to buy anything, just have them put it on my tab.” He called back to us as he retreated.
Wyatt and I bolted our meal and got ready to go. Almost as soon as we stepped outside Wyatt asked the question I have been dreading, “So, how are you really doing?”
At least he’s direct. I like that. I sighed. “Lonn’s getting married tomorrow.”
“And you wish you were marrying him instead?” Wya
tt asked, his eyes drilled into me. He looked unhappy when I mentioned Lonn, but I can’t be sure if I’m reading him correctly, or if it was just wishful thinking on my part.
I looked away. “I don’t know anymore.” When I was able to meet his eyes again, Wyatt was giving me a crooked grin that made the muscles in my pelvis clench. My heart hammered against my ribcage. I have always believed in signs, and somehow his being here with me feels like fate.
Without thinking about it, I had guided us to an alcove near overlooking the common areas of the city. The view from where we had stopped to chat was beautiful. We were just above the market, right near the stairs that would take us into the fray, and below us, we could see everyone going about their business. Several departments have a shift change scheduled around this time, and the booths are packed with people getting a bite to eat, buying groceries, or just taking a moment to say hello to their neighbors. The hustle and bustle below us made our perch atop the lonely staircase feel that much more intimate.
“Lately, I wonder if I’ve been holding onto Lonn more because of our history together than because of how I feel about him.” I wasn’t entirely certain what made me admit this to Wyatt, but it felt good to tell someone. “We grew up together, and I’ve always believed that we were meant to get married. Now, without knowing if we were meant to be matched up in the first place, I’m not sure what to think. I just-” I paused, trying to organize my thoughts. “I wish I knew for sure who I was supposed to be matched with.” The words spilled out of me, clumsily. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I spoke, and strong arms moved to envelop me.
I took a deep breath to calm myself. He smells so nice. With my head pressed against Wyatt’s chest, I could just make out the beat of his heart against mine. With one hand he turned my chin upward so that our eyes met. For a moment, I thought Wyatt was about to kiss me, and a deluge of heat raced through my body, eventually settling itself deep in my core.
“And if you knew for certain who you were supposed to be paired up with, you would feel better?” Wyatt asked, still holding my chin.
I nodded. “But the only person who would know would be Dr. Ward,” I frowned. “And even if we could get him to see us it’s not like he would tell us anything.”
Wyatt gently traced my lips with the pad of his thumb and gave me a smile that made my heart melt. His hands were rough and strong, but his touch was tentative and gentle as if he were handling something extremely precious.
Kiss me. The thought popped into my head unbidden. My eyes flicked from his eyes to his mouth and back again.
“Well, you’re in luck,” Wyatt said. “Because I think I need to see the doctor.” And with that, he pulled away from me and threw himself down the stairs.
Chapter 19
“Sade! Are you alright?” I pressed myself against the bars and reached out to hold her hand.
Departure’s seventh level is a dreary place. It serves as a holding area for both short and long-term prisoners, as well as a storage area for non-recyclable waste. The people here are sometimes used as forced manual labor, and those hoping to earn their freedom via repentance and community service are sometimes worked to death before they can be granted a pardon. The residents here are rarely executed per se, but if rations of food, water, or oxygen ever run low those on level seven are usually the first to have their allotments cut.
Even visiting level seven is unpleasant. The air is thick with the smell of urine and body odor. Indistinct sobs and screams comprise the awful din of the seventh floor, and being surrounded by that kind of noise is unsettling. Sade doesn’t belong down here. This place is terrifying! My inner coward begged me to turn and run, but I couldn’t leave without finding some way to help Sade.
Usually, I wouldn’t be allowed down here without approval from either Oswalt or Reglin Charr, but Wrenna ordered her security team to let me in regardless. It’s likely that Wrenna only let me visit Sade because she knew seeing Sade in here would upset me. Still, I’m grateful that I’m able to see my friend. Someone needs to visit her in this awful place.
Oswalt isn’t likely to visit her since he sent Sade here in the first place. Reglin won’t be able to look in on his daughter without appearing biased, and generating more political strain between himself and the faithful. And as far as I could tell Sade didn’t have many close friends. My wife left me, Sade’s girlfriend broke up with her, and now we’re just two loners trying to help one another out.
“I’m alright.” She said, giving my hand a squeeze.
My security escort sneered at us before he made his way back down the long hallway so we could visit privately. Despite what Sade said, she obviously wasn’t alright. Sade’s eyes were still puffy from crying, and the thin young woman shook when I touched her through the bars.
She glanced around furtively and lowered her voice. “Are you okay? I should have some alcohol stashed in an air duct on the third floor, around where they’ve been doing construction. It’s not a lot, but maybe you could use it to take the edge off your detox.”
I’ve known Sade since she was born, and I like to think I know her pretty well, but I was amazed that even in this place she had still taken the time to worry about me. I’m the doctor here. I’m supposed to be taking care of her. In that instant, clarity settled over me. I have to stop drinking. I have to detox. If I want to help my friend, I have to help myself.
“Now’s not the time to worry about that,” I replied, determined to set myself on the right path and rescue Sade. “I can get a message to your father if you want, or to Oswalt.” Even as I suggested it, I wasn’t sure what good a message would do. Those two are so caught up in their own rivalry, that they’ve completely lost sight of what’s important! “Or I could-” I started, but quickly trailed off. Oswalt had made his sister’s imprisonment into a symbol of his own righteousness, and I couldn’t think of anything I could do to defuse the situation.
I shifted from foot to foot in frustration. I had always thought of Sade as a strange mixture of surrogate daughter and close friend, and not being able to help her was making me crazy. She squeezed my hand again to stop me from fidgeting, and for a moment we each contented ourselves with the quiet company of the other.
“Paul.” She hissed at me, gesturing with her eyes at an approaching enforcer. “Don’t worry about me, alright? I always knew that this might happen to me. Just, get to that air duct. Take care of yourself.” She finished, pleading at me with her eyes.
I wanted to say so much more to her, to make her feel better, but at that moment a young man with a security badge forced us to cut our visit short.
“Dr. Ward.” He said, firmly but respectfully. “We’re going to have to take you back upstairs. You have a patient waiting for you at your home.”
“Why is there a patient waiting at my house outside of office hours?” I asked, bristling. “I have dozens of young physicians who can take care of emergencies.”
“Sorry, sir. Reglin Charr wants you to see to this patient personally.” The guard took a step closer to me, clearly not wanting to be overheard. “I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I heard that it’s something to do with the surface-dweller.”
Sade and I shared a look of surprise.
“Go check on Wyatt,” Sade ordered, putting on a brave face.
It’s a shame she isn’t interested in leading the city. I would follow her anywhere.
Unable to think of anything else I could do for Sade, I nodded at her and followed the guard out of the dungeon.
Chapter 20
“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He hissed, my father’s voice bouncing along the empty walls of my private apartment within the church. “She’s your sister! How could you send her to jail?”
I knew my father would confront me, but I was surprised he would come here to do so. Even though he’s a believer, my dad has always seemed uncomfortable within the walls of the Solne’s temple. The high ceilings remind him of how small he is, and he doesn’t lik
e that.
“Because it was the right thing to do,” I answered. “Sade has always had trouble accepting her role within the community. I pray that during her incarceration God will bring my sister peace, and the wisdom to accept her place in society.” I had practiced the words in my head a few times, knowing that this conversation was coming, but my father seemed unconvinced. I guess I never really expected him to understand.
His face turned purple with rage. “You think that locking her up, forever, is going to help Sade adjust to life here?”
I know that Reglin Charr had spoken to Sade many times about the things Departure needed of her. My father had bent over backward trying to reconcile Sade’s wishes with the responsibilities of running the city, but she was unwilling to compromise. Sade has always been his favorite child, and knowing she’s locked up is probably a bitter pill for him to swallow, but I know it’s for the best.