When I caught up to Akir, my weapon was lowered, and I reached for his arm. “Are you sure?” I asked with uncertainty. “He’s your brother…”
“I know he is,” he responded tightly and so low that I had to strain to hear him. “But I cannot risk the many for the few.”
Those words struck me like an arrow through my flesh. They were the mantra of every royal. And the hardest thing any would have to go through. To save his people, he would have to leave behind his brother.
And I knew that the decision would be his own personal beast, tormenting him forever.
****
We drove like hell. We’d already wasted too much time at the campsite and we needed to get back to the Ruined City to treat the wounded. To treat River.
His face had become thin and wraith-like. Gone was the sun-kissed bronze and in its place, a ghost of the man I loved. Pale skin, blueing lips and a face covered in sweat. He shivered for what felt like hours, thrashing in and out of consciousness and pain. His mangled leg would soon be infected if they didn’t cut it off.
I dreaded the moment they’d do it.
I knew the likelihood of surviving was slim. And in the Broken World, we had no technology advanced enough that would guarantee his survival. I could only hope and pray to whatever gods that were listening to save my guard.
I’d give them anything if only they’d let him live.
His cries of agony filled the back of the van. I wanted to cover my ears and block it out but I knew that act would make me nothing more than a coward. So I listened, each cry falling onto my shoulders, weighing me down heavier and heavier with each passing moment.
I was sitting in the front seat next to Akir. Kael had made me. He’d claimed he needed the space to work, to care for River. But I knew he’d only done it to spare me.
Akir was driving. His hands were wound tightly on the steering wheel. I could see the whites of his knuckles and the tension coiling off of him like a living, pulsing thing. If I could make him feel better, I would. I’d take his hand in mine and share our grief. But it would do nothing. Nothing would ever calm that storm inside him, the doubt. Nothing but the truth, anyway.
So when we arrived at the Ruined City moments later, I was hopping out of the vehicle before he safely parked. I ran to the back just as the other vans pulled up beside us. Everyone began unloading, Akir hopped out to start barking out orders to his people.
My heart was torn in two directions as I watched them carefully pull River from the back as well as my hybrid mother from the other car. I couldn’t go to them both. And I couldn’t leave them alone. I feared that if I did, it’d be the last time I’d see them.
“Go.” Akir appeared beside me, his fingers feathering across my wrist before pulling away. I tore my gaze from my mother’s brown eyes to look up at him. His own face was a hard mask, but his eyes seemed defeated. “Go with River. I will look after your mom.”
My throat tightened, my hand reaching for his as if by their own volition, fingers slipping into the spaces between his own. “You’re sure?”
He looked down at me then. His piercing eyes nearly burned my own with the intensity. He was covered in ash and blood and he side of his lip twitched up into a mocking smile. And never before had he looked so beautiful.
I stood on my tiptoes on impulse, my hand splayed against his hard chest, and I pressed my lips lightly to his. It was a soft and innocent kiss that made me crave the texture and taste of his tongue against my own. But I pulled back, feeling the thunderous beat of his heart against my palm.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
I looked at my mother one last time to find her staring between me and Akir with wide eyes. As if she couldn’t quite believe what she’d just witnessed. I gave her a look that said “I’ll explain later,” before turning and following Kael, Lex and River.
****
“We need to operate now.” Kael was saying urgently.
A cacophony of sound assaulted my every nerve, wiring it to alertness. But I couldn’t think. I didn’t know how to help. Not now. Not like this.
As soon as they’d laid River’s body onto the bed, he’d woken up, screaming. He thrashed around in a panic, crying out incoherent things. It was as if he was delirious, the pain of the fever searing directly into his brain.
“Hold him down!” Kael commanded.
Swallowing the rising bile and panic in my throat, I ran to River’s side and held him down with my upper body. Lex was frantically looking around until he found what he needed. He came back with rope and I moved just as he began tying it around River’s upper body to keep him still.
Kael was working on disinfecting the tools. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach at the sight of the saw, sharp and threatening. Water began to pool beneath my tongue, my stomach churned as he went over to River with all of the supplies.
“Lex, hold down his good leg.” Kael pointed as he retrieved a long piece of wood. Lex did as he was told and Kael went to the front of River. “River,” he called out to be heard beyond the screams, “I need you to bite down on this.” He slipped the wood between River’s teeth. Then he went back to his injured leg and lifted the saw.
The room around me started spinning, spots danced across my vision. I felt the bile rising up, up… but I swallowed it back down. I had to be strong. Strong.
“This is going to hurt.” Kael affirmed as he set the saw just below River’s knee.
My heart thundered faster and faster.
“Bite down,” Kael commanded.
Then he began to saw.
And all I could hear were River’s muffled screams.
****
I was drenched in his blood. Dark crimson staining my clothes, already stiffening against me. The stench was overwhelmingly nauseating. I felt as though I’d never get used to it, used to the cooppery tang, used to the screams, used to the pain.
I’d had to hold him down, had to help Kael patch him up. I had to spend hours listening to his screams of agony turning on and off again like a Ruined City lightbulb. The pain was too awful to bear so he’d close his eyes, giving into the darkness only to wake up and live the pain all over again.
My insides churned throughout it all, threatening to rise up and spill over. I pushed the sensation down, even when all I wanted to do was hurl my guts up at the sight of his torn flesh being mutilated even further.
I was glad when it was over.
Glad when River survived the procedure.
“He’ll be fine now,” Kael assured me quietly. Funny, I didn’t feel reassured. “The worst is over with. I’ll need to monitor him so he doesn’t catch infection or fever.” He took one look at me, his dark eyes softening. “Go get some rest.”
His own face looked haggard; he was probably more tired than I was but I didn’t argue. My hands were still shaking. I nodded absently to him and to Lex, who was breathing heavily against a wall, and set my eyes on River. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. I should stay. I should stay and make sure he survived the night…
“Go to your mom, red.” Lex said a little breathlessly. “If his condition changes, I’ll go find you.”
I gave him a tight nod and turned around before I could change my mind.
And I left.
****
“They’ve already taken blood samples from her. They’re going to run an analysis on it and let us know what they find. Maybe there’ll be a way to reverse what they did to her.”
Akir’s voice rumbled out of the lab room. He spoke in tired tones and I could almost hear the sag in his shoulders. The defeat in his words. It broke my heart, made me want to gather him into my arms and hold them there. Maybe we could find comfort in each other, if only for a brief moment.
I was about to step through the doorway and do just that when a harsher voice froze me in my tracks.
“What does it matter?” Braxtyn snapped angrily. “Our brother is missing and instead of gathering soldiers to go and look for him, you’re here studying
the hybrid queen.”
Akir sighed rather loudly. “You saw what those hybrids did to our camp, to our men. I will not risk their lives unnecessarily. Not until we have a better understanding of what’s going on here.”
Braxtyn scoffed and the empty worry inside me ignited into the hatred I felt for him once more. I’d eavesdropped on one conversation he’d taken part in already. Did I really want to suffer through another one? Did I really want to listen in on his cruel words once again? Maybe not. But I damn well wasn’t going to walk into that room just yet.
“We were caught off guard. We can go back and tear up that lab and find our brother.”
I heard his desperation. He was repeating words that I’d heard before, words that had come from the lips of my own brothers. We’d had this exact conversation regarding the beasts. And Akir was doing what my father would have done. Protecting his people.
“No, Brax.” Akir said with finality.
I heard Braxtyn’s angry scoff. “If only you cared so much about our family as you do for her.”
The silence that followed seemed painfully infinite. I couldn’t see Akir’s form but I imagined what he looked like in that moment. Tense, tight, a scowl pulling over his face. And then he spoke, “What,” his voice was menacingly low, “is that supposed to mean?”
“You know damn well what it means, brother.”
“I don’t. Explain it to me.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his explanation. I already knew what he thought of me.
“Ever since your engagement was announced, your whole life has been about Princess Keanna and Princess Keanna only. You dropped everything to rush to the hybrid lab for her. But now that our own brother has been captured, you don’t want to risk the men? It’s bullshit.”
Akir was silent a long moment again. His silence frightened me much more than his next words did.
“If I cared more about my fiancée than I did about my brothers, you’d be dead by now.”
I froze and risked a peek in the threshold. Akir’s arms were crossed against the wide expanse of his chest and he was staring down his brother angrily. Braxtyn’s hands were tightened into fists at his sides and I didn’t misread his stance, his body poised to throw a punch at any given moment.
“If I cared more about her than I did you, I would have pummeled you to the ground for what you did to my queen. You all think I didn’t notice?” He gestured at his brother’s bruised face. “You all think I’m such a fool? No, brother, do not mistake me for one. Because if I cared more about her than I do for you, I would have shot you myself for hurting her.”
“I didn’t—”
“Don’t fucking lie to me.” He interrupted. “I saw the wound on her cheek. I saw Lex’s bruised knuckles and I certainly saw your fucked up face. Don’t stand there and lie to me.”
Braxtyn had the good grace to flush. “She was the one who—”
My fiancée held up a hand to silence him. “I don’t give a damn who started it. Don’t be a child. Princess Keanna is going to be your queen, whether you like her or not and you will treat her with the respect she’s owed. Do you understand me?”
Braxtyn’s face twisted into rage. He was so different from his brother, so different in manner and even in anger, they looked nothing alike. “Fuck your queen,” he practically spat.
There was enough hatred packed into his words that Akir was on him in a second, pushing him back and pressing his forearm against his throat. There was a clattering as in their struggle, they knocked aside a rolling table with tools.
I burst into the room then, just as Akir held his brother up against the wall and choked him. I rushed to his side. There was an urge me in that wanted to let Braxtyn suffer for all that he’d done, so I made no move to pull Akir away. A part of me knew anyway that this was his brother and he would never seriously harm him, no matter how angry he was with him.
Braxtyn’s face had gone red as he struggled against his brother’s strong hold.
“Akir,” I whispered softly, a warning.
Finally, he let go and his brother slumped against the wall, clutching his neck and coughing. He shot me a glare through the tears clouding his eyes. I glared right back. Akir took a slow step away from him, probably more to compose himself, to avoid reaching out for him and attacking once more. Though I wouldn’t blame him for it if he did so.
“Come to see the show?” Braxtyn sneered in my direction.
I scoffed and turned to Akir, to study his face. It was set in angry lines, nostrils flaring. And I noticed, just beyond the very large room, there was an enormous cage and inside of it, my mother.
My heart lurched at the sight of her locked in an iron prison but I hardened my gaze. I would not let emotion show and most definitely not in front of Braxtyn Murtaugh. But he seemed to read me anyway because he let out a derisive snort that made me curl my hands into too tight fists.
“You want to hit me, princess?” He smiled cruelly. “Go ahead.” He let his arms widen at his sides. Prey, fresh for the taking. And my hands itched to move so badly. To knock the smile from his face.
“It’s what you deserve,” I said tightly. “For what you did to Lex. For what you did to River.”
He blinked at those last words with disbelief. “I didn’t do anything to your precious River.”
My rage boiled molten hot to my core. “Because of you he’s lying in bed without a leg. Because you held me back from saving him. You let him get mauled.”
Braxtyn’s eyebrows drew at a tight line, just before he threw his head back and roared with laughter. The sound coiled my insides into knots. “Is that what you think? That I held you back so that River would die?” He laughed again, the sound harsh and guttural.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. You let your own father get taken so it shouldn’t matter what happens to River, right?”
His face shut down entirely. A cold type of rage passed over him, so icy it chilled me down to the marrow of my bones. “I saved your ass from death and you’re accusing me?”
I scoffed. “Saved me? Is that what you’re calling it?” The rage burned hotter and hotter until it was impossible to contain. I refused to believe that he’d been trying to save me. I refused to believe there was good in him. how could there be when he’d shot at Lex? When he shot at me? When his father had coincidentally been taken while he hadn’t? When River was lying in a hospital bed without a leg when I could have saved him from that fate?
“You don’t have to believe me—”
“I don’t.”
He practically growled. “Fuck you!”
“Brax,” Akir warned in a deadly tone.
“No!” He shouted. “You can do what you want. Stay here, pant after your princess, give out bullshit orders, but I’m going to find Cole!”
“No you’re not.” Akir’s tone was halting but still Braxtyn straightened up and started to walk past him. “I gave you an order.”
“Fuck your orders.”
Before I blinked, Akir was on his brother again, pulling him by the back of the shirt. And before I could even register what was happening, Akir’s fist was slamming against his brother’s cheek and Braxtyn was falling to the floor.
My mother growled uncomfortably from within her cage. I didn’t blame her.
“Get out of here, Keanna.” Akir growled at me, the sound so animal-like that it frightened me.
“But…” I looked to my mother. Did I really want to leave her alone while they fought it out? What if, gods forbid, Braxtyn won the fight? What if he decided to harm my mother?
A shiver ran down the length of my entire spine as Braxtyn slowly stood up, shaking his shoulders out. He assumed a fighting stance, fingers curling. A smile splayed on his face and it was cruel, chilling thing.
“I’ll look after her, lass.” Akir pressed his hand to the lower part of my back and gave me a shove. “Now leave.”
I didn’t dare turn my back to them. Instead I began my slow exit, feet shuffling as
I walked backwards. Akir was holding his own fists up.
And I left just as they swung at one another.
****
I soaked in the tub. The silence and the steam was enough to threaten suffocation, it was enough to nearly have me drowning in my emotions. But I pushed them down, lathered them off. What good would it be to cry? Everything had already gone to shit and crying wouldn’t right them.
Neither would soaking in the luxurious bath of Akir’s room, but it didn’t matter.
I’d needed to wash River’s blood from my body. I’d needed to get rid of the ash and the dirt. But that wouldn’t get rid of my memories. No matter how badly I wished it.
My hair was clean. My body was too. I’d drained the dirty water and refilled it to the rim to lay there, my arms resting against the edges of the tub, my head leaning luxuriously back. The warmth of the water soothed my aching wounds and joints. But it did nothing to soothe my aching mind.
The bathroom door creaked open. I didn’t open my eyes. Instead I listened intently to the soft footfalls on the white tile floors approaching me. Only when they stopped did I open my eyes to find Lex standing at the foot of the tub, staring at me.
He’d obviously cleaned up, for there was no trace of ash or blood on him. His eyes lingered just where the swells of my breasts peeked out from the water, and then his gaze ran lower still to beneath the surface.
I stood up then, letting the water slide down over my body like a tantalizing waterfall. I heard his breath hitch.
“Is everything okay?” I asked cautiously. “Is it River?” How much more heartbreak could I take?
Lex visibly swallowed. His eyes were glued on every expanse of my naked flesh and then he looked into my eyes. “He’s fine, little red. Recovering quite nicely.”
“Oh,” I loosed a breath of relief and then reached for a towel hanging on the rack. Before my fingers grasped it, Lex was walking forward.
“Don’t get out on my account.” He smiled in his all too familiar way. The sarcasm was there, pushing away whatever else he might be feeling after our tiring day. It relaxed me, had me smiling back at him.
Freeing the Beasts Page 3