"You are perfect this way, just perfect."
Lacy knew she wasn't. No way. And she had to tell him things before he heard them from others. But not now. Now, she succumbed to the beauty of the moment, the glory of the feelings Holt brought out in her. In his arms, caught in his kisses, Lacy became a sensuous, loving woman. It was a part of her that she'd thought was lost.
CHAPTER NINE
"Let's get out of these muddy clothes." She felt sticky and encumbered and began pulling at her things.
He kissed her quickly. "And we'll take a shower. Together." He reached for the tail of his shirt and slipped it off.
She scooted toward the bathroom, stripping as she went. "In here."
"My pleasure." He followed her, pulling off his muddy jeans.
"My hair! Mud's even in my hair!" Lacy wailed as she inspected her image in the mirror. She slithered out of her jeans. He made her feel so damned sexy. She loved that about him.
"I'll wash it." His dark eyes swept over her. "Along with everything else if you want." He pulled her with him under the shower spray.
She turned her face up to him. "This will be a first. No man has ever washed my hair."
He cupped her face in his hands. "Then it will be my pleasure to give you pleasure." He kissed her lips and the warm water swept over their heads and ran down their bare bodies.
"You are amazing," she murmured.
Holt washed her hair with clumsy motions. "With practice, I'll get better at this," he promised.
Lacy leaned her head back and closed her eyes, allowing the moment to expand. She loved the feeling of his fingers following the warm spray over her head, loved as the water cascaded down her body. He spread his fingers around her scalp, cupping her head, massaging gently.
She rolled her head back loosely in his hands. "Oooh... that's nice.''
And when he was finished with her hair, his hands moved deliberately over her body, following the trail of water, touching and probing, teasing and tantalizing. There was nothing clumsy about his touch now, for he knew just where to touch, to massage, to stroke. Ahhh, heaven. She reeled with desire and tried to hold onto him for balance.
Holt hauled her against his own hot, aroused body. His chest and shoulders presented a fortress to which she clung as he pressed his male strength against her. The two of them wriggled beneath the warm shower, kissing, writhing together, letting the natural force of the water rinse her hair and arouse their passion even higher.
Lacy, her eyes still closed, relished the sensations surging through her body. The feeling of his arousal against her, his touch, the warm shower beating down on them all combined to carry her away to ecstasy. It was almost like a dream, except the feelings were real.
She'd never known loving could be like this. Holt was so agreeable, so eager to please, so much fun. She felt as if he were there just for her pleasure, her delight, her very own sexual renewal. And she loved the feeling of being pampered, of being the complete center of his attention, of his tender but powerful loving. After so many years of suffering rejection and feeling the need to perform and produce, she relished being tempted and spoiled and sought after in a sexy game of delights.
She arched her back, thrusting her breasts more fully into the curve of his hands and the warmth of his mouth. She was delighted by the way his palms completely covered her breasts and the sensuous knowledge that he could actually dominated her body with his. He brought her pleasure beyond her wildest dreams.
His palms slid to the sensitive sides of her breasts while his thumbs stroked her taut nipples. She reached up to hold onto his shoulders.
He grasped her hips and spread his fingers across her round bottom, lifting and pressing her to him.
She moaned softly into his kiss and rocked her hips at his urging. His tongue sought the inner recesses of her mouth, tasting and teasing with an erotic pulsating motion. She responded with a playful action of her tongue against his.
Lacy was completely wrapped in Holt's warmth and passion. She felt very secure with him and wanted to press him into her deepest parts. She felt an inner urging for him that was beyond her control and wanted to be captured by his strength. She wanted him to take her, wanted him in her—fully and completely and with all his force.
It was wild—and wonderful! And oh so much fun, something she hadn't considered sex to be in a long time. Sex had been a requirement. And it required a result. But not now. Not with Holt. He only pursued her ultimate pleasure. And his own.
"Please, " she murmured. "Holt, come on." She kissed his chest, laving each wet, hard nipple with her tongue. "Now," she demanded. Her hands moved down his body until she cradled his erection in her palms.
"No, Lacy . . . I need to get something – "
"I'm okay, don't worry Holt. Come on – " She continued to entice him until with a low groan, he gathered her to him.
Grasping her firmly, he lifted her off her feet and pushed her against the shower wall. Instinctively, she clutched his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his hips. She moved willingly, eagerly with him.
She could feel his powerful arousal and wriggled against him, letting him know how much she desired and anticipated their union.
And when they came together, a wild array of feelings rippled through her body. Lacy felt possessed and possessive at the same time. She was aware of sensations yet couldn't help wondering if she was in a dream. She was in charge of the moment, with a certain kind of power over Holt that was especially gratifying to her female instincts. She'd wanted him and he was there for her. The knowledge gave her joy and delight.
They came together in an explosive climax. Lacy held on for dear life, enjoying the sensations for a long, long time.
Finally, he lowered her to her feet. "You okay?"
She sighed. "I'm weak."
With the warm water still spraying their super-sensitive bodies, he tenderly washed her again with his hand. Then Holt turned the shower off, wrapped her in a towel and carried her to bed. His kisses were sweet and loving now.
Together they curled on the antique bed, under the old-fashioned quilt and dozed. It was a sweet sleep with bodied intertwined and the scent of love in the air. Hunger awoke them a few hours later, and they enjoyed a freshly-caught trout dinner in the restaurant and danced that night to a rocking country music band in the Wild Rose Saloon.
A slow rain continued through the night, and they slept in each other's arms, full of peace and contentment. They woke once and made love again. And Holt was careful to provide protection.
"I told you," she said, even as he rose over her. "We don't need that."
This time, he ignored her protests. "Yes we do." And then they both forgot everything as they climbed to the ultimate explosion.
The next morning, it was still raining softly when Lacy woke and slipped out of bed. Wrapped in a thick robe she found in the closet, she stood by the window.
The clouds hung heavy and low, spilling their steady drizzle. A thick fog drifted among the tree trunks and rose to mingle with the misty air. The mountains were eerily beautiful. Yes, a beautiful, rainy, foggy morning. They could spend the day in bed, making love until they were weak. Or walk in the rain until they returned to make love again.
Lacy smiled to herself. She felt like humming, or singing some silly, sentimental love song. Usually, she hated rainy weather. But this time, it was different. She loved everything around her, including Holt, the man who'd loved her so fiercely and held her so securely through the night. The eyelet-edged sheet was pushed to his waist, revealing his broad, smooth chest. The frills looked incongruous next to his dark masculinity.
He lay on his side, one muscular arm crooked and resting on his hip, the other flung over her pillow. She looked at him longingly, imagining herself, lying in his arms, as she had all night.
He stirred and reached for her. His hand roamed her side of the bed. Then he rolled over, revealing a healthy morning arousal. "Hi beautiful. What are you doing over there?"<
br />
She smiled. He was gorgeous. "Just watching the rain. And you."
"Is it still raining?" He frowned toward the window.
"Hmm. Looks like no letup."
Yawning, he laced his fingers behind his head. "Do you like to watch the rain?"
"Not usually. At least, not until now." She nodded to the scene outside. "But this rain is so beautiful here..."
"Well, if you're not having too fabulous a time over there watching cold water fall, I'd like to invite you where it's warm and dry." He patted the empty space beside him. "There's a spot reserved specifically for you. This is where you belong on a cool, rainy morning."
She smiled at him. He looked adorable, so ruggedly handsome waiting in that bed for her with his hair disheveled and his chest bare and his brown eyes beckoning to her. 'Come... come to me,' they seemed to say. She couldn't resist. She tossed off her robe and slid back into bed beside him, into the nest of his arms.
He kissed her, sweetly, gently. "I'd like to make love to you again, Lacy. This time, slowly and completely, not in a wild rampage that leaves us both crazy."
"I'd like that too, Holt," she murmured, then purred as he began some maneuvers that were bound to leave them both crazy. All day.
They eventually called for room service, including champagne, and took their time eating and feeding each other, lounging, showering and talking. Oh yes, they made wild crazy love again and again.
Later, Lacy could close her eyes and feel his kiss, experience the breathlessness. She could relive his tongue on her breasts, caressing the tight nipples. She could imagine the strength of his passion as he moved between her legs, the anticipation, then the fulfillment. She writhed with the imagined pleasure of her own response to his loving, of him wanting her, and of her wanting more.
The feelings swelling in her heart were different this time, more intense, less physical, deeper than she'd ever known. She just wanted to tuck him inside and hold him there indefinitely. And before they went any further, got any deeper, she knew she had to tell him.
He poured them each a glass of champagne and sat near the window, nude. Quiet. The champagne made talking easier.
She sat cross-legged on the bed with part of the sheet draped over her bare body. "Holt, we need to talk."
"Uh-oh. Sounds serious."
"Could be."
"Damn – I wanted this to be all fun and games. All enjoying each other. Nothing serious. Just pleasure."
She grinned and took another sip of bubbly. "It's been all that and more. It's been wonderful."
"Then I've completed my mission. To love you endlessly."
"Holt, oh my. I have to tell you this because God knows, I'd love to have your baby – "
He stood quickly and paced in front of the window. Still nude and frankly, gorgeous. "Whoa, just wait a minute Lacy. We've only just begun this relationship, and I'm not going to – I just . . . I don't want an accident. Don't tell me you're here just for - "
"Don't worry, Holt. I won't hit you with a surprise paternity suit."
"Look, Lacy, I didn't mean to —"
She held up one hand and suddenly, her emotions were high. "I'm only saying that I care for you, Holt. And I think you should know that. . . that the reason . . . well, in the five years I was married, I never got pregnant. We tried. I couldn't."
He looked at her, then away out the window, far away. He sat down and took another gulp of his champagne. "So you're saying that. . ."
"Right. I can't get pregnant."
"You're sure." He said it as a statement, not a question.
"As sure as possible." She took a drink of champagne and set the glass on the bedside table. She bent her legs and hugged her knees. "Oh, I did all the right things, or so I thought. Once my ex-husband decided he wanted a kid, doing it became an obsession. The time of day, specific positions, the right temperature. I went to doctors. We even considered in vitro. But my ex found another solution. Another woman."
"And now he's got kids?"
She nodded. "Two girls. The first pregnancy was the reason for our divorce. He succeeded where I failed."
Holt frowned. "You didn't fail."
"I didn't get pregnant. Couldn't, I believe."
"That isn't everything in life."
"Well, for me it was. And then everything else fell apart. My job, my life, my so-called loving marriage."
"Here's the kicker, Lacy." He leaned forward. "I have no great desire for another kid. I have a great one in Sophia, and no need to prove my virility by reproducing. Actually, I was angry with Selina – my wife – because I felt she deceived me and purposely got pregnant. She knew that with her kidney disease, it would be risky. But she wanted a baby so badly that she risked her life. And I had no choice in the matter."
"I'm so sorry, Holt. I had no idea." Lacy came to him, wrapping her arms and the quilt around him. "I promise, no secrets." She was on the verge of tears, thinking of this man who was carrying on with his responsibilities as if nothing mattered. But she knew better.
He scooped her up into his arms, kissing her, stumbling onto the bed, rolling her under him.
"Y'know something, Lacy? I don't care. I've loved everything about you. The sex, yes. But also the fun. The conversations. Getting to know you better. Just being with you. Holding you. And none of that has a damn to do with whether you're fertile or not. All I care about is you, Lacy."
She yearned for him so intently that she felt a deep aching and the urge to pull him quickly into her. Together they moved vigorously to the crest of emotion and beyond. Time stood still as their frenzied motion peaked. And when they were sated, they collapsed together, enfolded in each other's arms for a long, long time.
In the quietness of released emotion, Lacy cried. It was something she hadn't done in a long time. For the physical and emotional ride, for her unborn babies, for the love of this man. She had toughened herself for so many years that to hear such an honest and generous admission from Holt, rather than some sort of advice or put-down, touched her heart.
They lay folded together for a long time.
"Lacy," he murmured finally. "Hasn't anyone ever cared about you? Just really cared about you?"
"Of course, my family cares. My mother died when I was fourteen and I became my father's to raise. He pushed me to be the best I could be, as he did my brother. It all worked for Kevin. But I was harder to harness, less likely to be perfect. And that's probably why, when things fell apart, I just considered myself to be a failure. Everyone else did."
"And this jerk you married? He's like your father?"
She hesitated a long time. "Yeah, probably. Never thought of it before, but he, too, had high expectations of me." She laughed bitterly. "But I couldn't perform to his code for success. Not even to produce babies."
"Well, I care about you very much, Lacy. I knew from the first time I saw you that you were special. And now that I've held you in my arms, made love a thousand times, I'm convinced of it. And if you think we're through, you're crazy."
She squeezed her eyes shut, and tears fell on his bare chest beneath her head. Now she was more confused than ever. Bruce had been angry with her for so long that he didn't even try to stop lashing out. He assured her that every man wanted an offspring. A son to follow in his footsteps. A darling daughter to spoil. A houseful of adorable kids. And she had failed at all that. Now, Holt was denying everything she believed to be true.
On the way home that evening, they stopped at a roadside stand to buy a chile ristra—a string of red chilies to hang outside her door for good luck and prosperity. Lacy also got a handful of green chilies to roast and eat now or freeze for later.
Back on the road, she knew she had to tell him her big embarrassment before anyone else did.
"I don't want you to hear this from anyone in town," she began.
"Another confession?"
"I told you, no secrets. So I have to confess." She looked out the window so she wouldn't have to face him. "When I got
to Silver Creek last year, I was in bad shape. No self esteem. No confidence. Very unhappy. Just a mess."
She continued to look away from him. It was easier that way.
"Emotionally, I mean. And I. . . seduced an official at the mine. We had a brief, and I mean brief, affaire. And now I know that I wanted him because he's successful. Everything I'm not."
Holt was silent, pursing his lips as he drove the mountain road.
"But I realized pretty soon that I'd made a huge mistake. When the mine closed, I begged him to stay and help us make something of Silver Creek. But he said something like, 'Are you crazy?' And when he wanted me to follow him to his next big job in Peru, I'll admit, I considered. It sounded exotic. Then I asked myself, 'Are you crazy?' And myself answered, 'You're crazy if you go. You know you don't love him.' So I ran for mayor instead."
He paused a long time before commenting. "That's it?"
"Isn't that enough?"
"So you can seduce me since I don't think I fit your criteria for success."
"I'm here for you, not for what you can do for me. Besides, I didn't seduce you. You seduced me." She soft-punched his arm.
"That sounds like harassment by the boss-lady." He pulled off the road sharply, put the car in Park and turned to her. "I know just what to do about harassment." And he took her in his arms and kissed her solidly. When he finally, finally came up for air, he said, "No more confessions, or history lessons. It's just you and me, in the present. From here on out."
When they arrived back in Silver Creek shortly after dark, the flashing red lights of a police car caught their attention.
Under The Desert Sky (Desert Sky Series) Page 11