Even with this exciting break, Rez stayed icy toward me on the drive, not veering from one- or two-word answers. And she seemed perpetually stuck on calling me Mr. Moseley.
Tension and formality drove me bonkers. It was like trying to sit down while wearing armor: uncomfortable, awkward, silly, and unnecessary. We could keep the lines between us and still be relaxed. Right? But everything I tried to get her to laugh fell in my lap with a flop.
“Rez, come on. I’m sorry about what I said last night.” I sighed. We’d been on the road for almost two hours, and I was about to lose it if she uttered another one-syllable response. She kept her head down, going over the paperwork spread out on her lap, circling and writing notes in the column.
“I know. You’ve told me several times now.” Her marker circled another spot on the map.
“But you haven’t forgiven me yet.” I smiled and glanced over at her. “Please forgive my beastly behavior. I don’t know where it comes from.”
She cocked her head, and her lids tapered with a deep scowl, not wavering under my charm.
The smile dripped from my lips. “Really. I’m sorry,” I said sincerely.
“Yes. I understand you are. And I’m not mad at you, Mr. Moseley.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and went back to the map.
“Not mad, huh?” I snorted and gazed out at the deep green grass rolling by the car like waves. Dots of sheep and stone fences dominated the land between the small, sleepy villages. The gray sky greeted the turbulent ocean in an almost seamless line. “Because you always call me Mr. Moseley when you’re happy with me.”
Rez dropped her hand, crackling the paper, and turned to me. “What do you want from me?”
Taken aback, my mouth opened but nothing came out.
“I am doing as you asked. Keeping this professional.” Her voice rose with indignation.
Damn. Even yelling at me, I could close my eyes and drown in her voice.
“You were right. We are not friends or anything else. We are coworkers. So let’s keep on the task at hand. Do our job. And get home to our loved ones.” Rez set her jaw, then went back to the files on her lap, letting her hair fall, covering her face from view.
I had said pretty much the same thing to her, but hearing her say we weren’t friends stabbed painfully at my chest. And the back home to our loved ones line twisted my gut into a knot.
What did I want? The thought of not even being considered a friend prickled my spine. I had only said it to push her away. I didn’t really believe it. We had all gone through a lot together during the war. If anything had bonded us, it was the loss of family and friends. How many nights and days had I sat in Lars’s kitchen, talking and joking with her?
The problem was having her as my friend meant letting other lines slip. I didn’t care. If being friends meant I had to take even more freezing showers or slip out to find a water fairy around here, I would do it. She meant more to me than some “coworker.”
The words sat on my tongue about to cascade out, when my attention was caught by a dark gray Saab in the rearview mirror. It looked like almost every other car on the road we passed, but this one had been behind us since we left Cahersiveen. I thought it turned off, so I let it go. But now it was back. It could be a coincidence. Travelers journeyed the same path as we were, but since my encounter with Lil’ Mack, I felt on edge.
Being out in the middle of the country with few cars on this unmarked two-lane road with us, I could do nothing but keep going. We were nearing Limerick, where we’d curve west toward another finger of the Irish coast.
I spent the rest of the trip watching the car in back, relaxing when we passed Ennis and it turned north. Jesus, I really was paranoid. It wasn’t a bad thing in our case, being on guard. But paranoia was a thin line before you were sure everyone was out to get you.
Rez picked the Clare Coast Hotel to stay in, which was more sensible than the place we stayed in Cork. Nice, simple rooms next to each other, right in town. I hated they weren’t connected, but at the same time I was relieved. Something about having a door privately linking our rooms felt strangely intimate. Almost taunting.
Rez’s coolness hadn’t ebbed any when we separated to our rooms. I was back to doubting if friendship was a smart idea, deciding to let her dictate the formality of our partnership.
After throwing my duffle bag on top the dresser, I flopped on the bed, the springs squeaking under my weight. I stared at the ceiling, my stomach rumbling with hunger.
I wanted to eat. I needed to sleep. But the thing I required the most was sex. It was starting to make me crazy. I was so freakin’ tense and coiled up I could barely breathe. The beast scratched at my insides, needing to be let out. The nightmares were ready to pounce the moment I shut my eyes, and the tension with Rez was causing anger to simmer under the surface. I had been angry for a long time. At myself, at Eli, at Lorcan. I learned to live with it, hide it under the humor. Now it was seeping out my skin, and I was trying as hard as hell to patch the holes. But with everyone I covered, two more burst open in another spot.
I rubbed my forehead and growled.
My hearing wasn’t as strong as it was in dweller form, but I could still hear Rez move around on the other side of the wall, the squeak of her bedsprings bouncing.
I crushed my lids together. It was not even noon and I already needed a drink. And about ten water fairies. I was close to the water, so they were probably around, except I couldn’t find the appeal in locating them. The thought of dealing with them only exhausted me. What the hell is wrong with me? The image of ten naked, curvy, horny women should have me running toward the ocean…dick first.
The bed in the next room whined again with a slight groan, like she had lain back on it. The idea of her pleasing herself slammed into my brain and my cock pulsed, pressing painfully against my jeans. Oh no. This really wasn’t good.
I was about to get up, go for a run, anything to separate myself from the picture of Rez in my head, when I heard a soft moan. Oh holy shit. Was she…? My throat went dry, the fabric of my jeans straining. My breath went shallow. Leave, West. Get out of here.
But I neither wanted to nor could. The soft panting I heard through the wall tied me to the bed. She was probably thinking of Lars, missing him, but I didn’t linger on that. Desire consumed me. We were both stressed and fae. Two things relieved by sex.
I stirred, the buttons of my pants rubbing against me sent pleasure through my body. No. No. No. No. The last bit of logic pleaded with me. Don’t do this. But merely breathing set my dick throbbing.
Another soft moan came through the wall.
“Screw it.” I tore at the top, popping my jeans open desperately, grabbing myself out of my boxer briefs. Palming myself, I began to stroke. I let out a heavy sigh. The thought of Rez doing the same on the other side of the thin wall had me so turned on I couldn’t even see straight. I closed my eyes, letting myself have this moment. My hand worked faster, picturing her on her bed doing the same. The way her body would first constrict with pleasure and then go limp. Without thinking, my free hand went to the wall, wanting to feel her.
Energy slammed into my hand, flowed into my fingers, pumped down my body, tingled every nerve, and exploded through me. “Holy fuck,” I whispered hoarsely. This was something I had never experienced. The energy coursing through my veins heightened every sensation to almost painful levels, and created sharper waves of pleasure.
A harsh gasp and moan came from next door. Had she felt the same thing?
I was completely undone, no longer in my head or even in my body. I didn’t care who heard or if she knew I was getting off with her. It was past that, as if I were possessed. My fingers curled, digging into the wallpaper. I was semi-aware I was swearing. Loudly. My hips rocking frantically, leading myself to the ledge. Jacking off was nothing new to me. It was natural. Normal.
But never in my centuries of life had it felt like this. It was something you did in the shower or quickly when you could
n’t actually get sex or some girl to do it for you. This was a hundred times more intense than ten water fairies going down on you. It was like her energy was going straight into me, wanting nothing more than to give me the most intense bliss. My head began to spin, feeling myself ready to peak.
A cry so sharp and full of ecstasy vibrated through my hand and into my body, shoving me off the cliff. My mouth parted and a roar tore through my lips, so loud the hanging light shook. My release pumped out, the world blurred around me. My hand slid down from the wall, my lungs trying to catch up with what just happened.
Holy shit. What did happen?
I was not someone who got embarrassed for something like this. Ever. I was quite open about sex. Fae were the most sexually charged creatures around. Dark Dwellers were near the top of the sex-driven list. But this…
I had no doubt Rez heard me as well. The entire hotel did. I wailed and cursed louder than a banshee.
Did she get off hearing me, knowing what I was doing? Did she get turned on as much as I did at the thought of the person in the next room doing the same? Did she feel the power pulsating between us? Almost like she had been in the room with me…
West. Stop.
Before I let any thought settle, I shot out of the bed, tearing off my soiled shirt, and went straight for the shower.
I couldn’t deny I felt a hell of a lot better, every muscle relaxed, but it was something that would never happen again. Ever.
And if we didn’t acknowledge it, then it never happened.
My stomach was about to eat itself, and this was what propelled me to finally go to her room. My knuckles rapped on Rez’s door. She had to be starving as well. She barely ate the croissant I got her, which was hours ago.
Play it cool. Act like it never happened.
The door unlocked and swung open, her scent drifting out to me. My grip on the doorframe crunched, my body immediately reacting. The beast pawed under my shell, constricting every muscle that had finally relaxed.
Her hair was swept into a ponytail, a few loose strands hanging around her face. A line etched between her eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to run my thumb over it softly till it was gone.
“Hey.” I cleared my throat. “Thought you might be hungry?”
“Oh. Yeah. I am.” Her gaze wouldn’t meet mine, splotches of red dotting her neck and cheeks. If I held any doubt she was aware of what happened earlier, it vanished.
My instinct was to call it out. Laugh about it. Make a joke…like I always did. With anyone else in the world I would have. But Rez could see through my bullshit, and I didn’t like feeling transparent right now.
“Was cross-referencing ports in this area with the notes Lars gave us.” She stepped back into her room, nodding to the table.
Lars. The elephant constantly paraded between us. Probably it was him she was thinking of while I was picturing her mouth on me. I ran my hand through my damp hair and stepped into the room, afraid to get too close to her.
The desk was peppered with files and maps, markers, and notes strung across the surface. “Find anything?” I touched the map, scanning her circled indicators.
“No. The leads we have are so vague it’s hard to count on them for anything.” She came to my side, her arm brushing mine, and she almost jumped away. “The one thing I found was a claim the ship actually got far out to sea before they brought it back in, and it crashed on the rocks. This, unfortunately, means the port could be miles away from its resting place. Finding the port where it departed still won’t help us.”
“No, but at least it gives us a jumping-off point.” I tapped on the chart. On a map a dozen miles each way looked like nothing, but underwater, you could be feet from ruins and still miss them. “At least I feel we are in the right area now. That deserves a celebratory dinner, right?” Actually, I needed a fuckin’ drink.
“It’s three in the afternoon.”
“There you go with those rules again, darlin’.” I smirked, looking down at her.
She waggled her head but let a grin inch over her mouth. “Fine. Only because I can hear your stomach rumbling from here.”
“It’s about to devour itself.” I groaned, rubbing my stomach, and my T-shirt hitched up. Rez’s gaze darted down to my exposed V-line.
She blinked, the red on her cheeks flushing deeper as she bit on her bottom lip. I don’t think she even realized she was doing it, but holy shit, if it didn’t turn me on again. Heat crawled up my back. The images in my brain were far too vivid: me tossing her on the table, her body arching back, crinkling the maps.
Both of us reacted at the same time, turning opposite ways.
“Let me grab my coat.”
“I’ll go get my jacket.”
We both bumbled out, running from each other.
Damn! This had to stop. We couldn’t even be in the same room longer than two minutes before I was peeling off her clothes in my head. I didn’t want to test how long it would be until I actually tried. Because I couldn’t. I shouldn’t even be fantasizing about it.
We needed to find this damn treasure now so I could send her off back to Lars and get my head screwed on straight. Get back to kinky girls in alleys. No baggage, no commitment, no names. That was what I deserved. The seedy trenches with people like me. Those were the people I belonged with…I only ruined good people, dragged them down to the dark, and destroyed them.
The more Rez called me Mr. Moseley, the easier it felt like what happened earlier was only a dream. I actually wanted to believe I fell asleep and it had all happened in my mind. At least then I was the lone asshole, and Rez was unaware of my dirty thoughts of her. But walking to the local pub, I had a horrifying thought… I was faintly aware I might have called out her name. I kept my head locked forward, not once glancing over at her.
In Europe it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is, the local pub is full. People use it as their extended living room, socializing and hanging with their buddies after work. Today, in the dreary, late afternoon, gatherings of mostly locals milled around the cozy pub.
Rez and I sidled up to the last two barstools available. We knew bartenders were always the best to befriend and talk to. They knew more than anyone.
“What’s your poison, darlin’?” I nudged her shoulder. “Don’t think they’ll do Grey Goose martinis in this place.”
“Wow. You really think you have my number, don’t you?” She flipped her long hair over her shoulder.
I leaned into her. “Am I wrong?”
She glowered at me, only proving my point.
The bartender made his way to us. “What would you like?”
“I’ll take a stout on tap.” I nodded to the beers.
The bartender nodded and looked over at Rez. “And for you, lass?”
“Uhhh.” Her gaze wandered over the taps. “Same.”
My eyebrows lifted. “Same? You don’t strike me as the beer type.”
“I’m not.” She shrugged. “But when in Ireland… You were right. I should try the local stuff.”
“This is the not the kind of beer you ease into for the first time. It’s strong, dark, and thick.”
“Just the way I like them.” She grinned.
My lungs constricted, partly from her sexual innuendo, and partly because she might as well have been describing me. Or most likely Lars, which reminded me of who she usually slept with every night and that I better stop this line of thinking quick.
I grabbed for the beer set in front of me, trying to banish the image of her on top of Lars, head thrown back, screaming his name.
The awkward silence came zinging between us. She reached for her beer, taking a sip. Her face scrunched up, and she shook her head, like it would help dislodge the taste from her tongue.
“Told you, darlin’.” I snickered, taking a deep gulp of mine. “Yum.”
She shot me a look but picked up the beer again, taking another sip. She shuddered again.
“Okay.” I grabbed for the beer. “Yo
u don’t have to drink it. Get something else.”
“No.” She snatched it back possessively. “I want it.”
I chuckled at her grabby hands and determined expression. “If you say so.”
“I ordered it. I will finish it.” She sat straight in her chair, like she was setting herself up for a challenge.
“Is that a Rez rule?”
“Rez rule?”
“Yeah, one of the thousands keeping you on the straight and narrow and your very controlled life.”
One eye narrowed on me. “Structure isn’t a bad thing.”
“I didn’t say it was bad.” I leaned an elbow on the bar, twisting to look at her. “But it keeps you from experiencing the really good things.”
“And the really bad,” she retorted.
“Yeah…” I nodded. “But you can’t have one without the other. You can’t fully appreciate ecstasy if you’ve never experienced misery.”
Her gaze darted away. “Who says I haven’t?”
My eyes moved slowly up and down her. “Because one look at you, darlin’, and you can see you’ve had a cushy life.”
Her eyebrows furrowed, a spray of anger blooming under her face. She reached for the beer and took a huge gulp, which caused her features to sour more. She shook it off and took another drink.
Getting under her skin only spread a satisfied wickedness through me. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” A mischievous grin inched across the side of my mouth.
“Nothing,” she said, but I could see it was all a front. It made me want to push her more, crack a wall and actually see her get flustered. Get beyond her comfort and protected façade.
“Let me ask you a question.” I licked my lips. Her eyes darted to them then back up. “Are you this uptight in bed? Do you like to be in control there too?”
Her mouth parted, a blush hinting at her olive skin. “That is none of your business.”
“Have you ever been so thoroughly fucked you’ve completely lost yourself?”
Her jaw tightened as she tried to swallow, her head turning forward.
I was probably going too far, but that’s what I did. I enjoyed making people squirm. And now I saw I was affecting her, so I couldn’t seem to stop.
West (A Darkness Series Novel) Page 9