Inside Out

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Inside Out Page 11

by Lauren Dane


  Not that she’d comment, but he was talking about her to his brother? Part of her way deep inside fluttered and warmed. Fuck that. It was already fluttery and hot from the way Cope had kissed her. Twice. He’d been all manly and in charge. The way he backed her up against stuff, god, it pushed all her buttons in the best kind of way. Still, she needed to focus on that moment with her friends instead of the way she would be totally giving her vibrator a workout when she got home.

  Ben was bothered by something. She wanted to follow up and ask him about the sadness in his eyes but worried that it might upset Erin, so she kept it to herself. She’d ask Cope about it when they left.

  They stayed another half hour or so until Cope pleaded having to get up early the next day. She hugged Erin tight, urging her to rest, and said she’d see them all at the end of the week if not before.

  “You okay?” Cope asked as they walked to her car in the building’s garage.

  “Just tired, I guess. Was Ben all right? He looked upset.”

  Cope watched her carefully as she peeked into the backseat before unlocking.

  “Good. I like seeing that.” He stood at his door until she got in and then followed.

  “What?”

  “You’re being safe. It’s second nature. You have no idea how many people I work with who don’t even lock their front door, much less check the backseat.”

  She stared at him, wondering just when everything between them had deepened. She felt raw and exposed, but she wouldn’t turn back time to what they’d been before, either. This time in her life was dizzyingly confusing in a rather unexpectedly delicious way.

  Ducking into the car and starting it gave her a chance to compose herself. “Thanks. I suppose there are things in life you learn the hard way. I’d have preferred to learn this lesson from the hot young stud teaching me self-defense.”

  “Hot young stud, huh? Hope we’re both talking about me, or I’ll be all embarrassed.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I’ll wait for that moment.”

  “Ha. I wish you could have skipped that hard lesson too. To answer your question, it’s the usual stuff. My dad called. Ben’s upset.” He shrugged.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He paused, and she didn’t push. God knew she understood what it meant to have to stay silent on things. But that came at a price, and she hated to think about Cope having to pay it.

  “I do. But I can’t. Not now.”

  Her heart ached at the sadness in his tone.

  “All right. But if you change your mind, you know where I am.”

  “I do. It means something to me that you care. That I know you do.” He shrugged, and she felt the emotion behind the words blanket her.

  They drove on for a while in comfortable silence until they got to his condo. Once she turned the engine off, the silence drew around them. Just Andrew and Ella. Alone. Butterflies in her belly, nervous and excited all at once. He did something to her, and she liked it.

  He smelled incredibly good. Manly and sexy, and how is it that she’d never really noticed how good a man could smell? She hoped he couldn’t see her sniffing at him and think she was a weirdo.

  He looked out the window for the longest time, and she unabashedly stared at him, taking that opportunity to do so without him noticing. Truly Andrew Copeland was simply ridiculously handsome. Outrageously so. Strong features, his cheekbones were perfect, his lush lips surrounded by a closely cropped goatee and mustache. His lashes, dark and long, only highlighted the intense blue of his eyes. Add the body, tall, broad, muscled and tattooed and the slow, sexy drawl and you had an irresistible picture. And that didn’t take into account what a fabulous person he was in addition to the way he looked.

  Each time she was with him, she learned more; he let her in a bit, and that trust, being a woman who found it hard to give trust herself, meant a lot.

  Andrew Copeland was so much more than she’d known before. Complicated. Sensitive. Talented.

  He sighed, not in a beleaguered way, but as if he’d come to some sort of internal decision. She fisted the fingers itching to touch his skin. To comfort and to inflame.

  “Andrew, thanks for all your help tonight. With the lessons and all. I appreciate it.”

  He turned to her, and the breath gusted from her lips at the raw intensity he wore on his features. She swallowed and tried not to gawk. He was so utterly gorgeous he stole her words. And he didn’t look grateful just then. He looked hungry. For her.

  He took her hand, turning it upward, and pressed a kiss to the heart of her palm, sending a shiver through her.

  “You move me, Ella. It’s my pleasure. It’s win-win for me. Keeping you safe and being with you.”

  She struggled to keep her composure, leaving her hand in his. “I can’t believe you’re saying all this after all these years.”

  “At first you were with someone else. And then you were hurting and had other priorities. I had to wait it out. Wait you out.”

  She wanted to cry, wanted to jump on him, wanted to throw her arms around him for understanding and for wanting her anyway. He said things to her, things that burrowed beneath the self-doubt and pain, warming her, making her believe in more than just getting through each day.

  All she could do was look at him there, so very close to her, smelling all sexy and stuff, rumpling up her thoughts.

  “Damn it, Ella,” he stopped, running his free hand through his hair. He leaned toward her, and she stilled inside, knowing he meant to kiss her. Again.

  She closed those few last inches, moving her body to his, the center console keeping her from jumping into his lap. The last thing she saw was the curve of his lips right before he made contact. Her eyes slid closed as the warmth of him blanketed her.

  He took it slow, his hands grasping hers instead of holding her body close. Her system lit up like a pinball machine. She’d never been so ridiculously turned on by a kiss. How long had she waited for this? How long had this moment played itself in her fantasies?

  Reality was far better than a fantasy.

  Cope thought he’d die when he finally touched his mouth to hers, but then she made a soft squeak, moving closer to him, letting go of one of his hands to slide the other up the wall of his chest and up his neck into his . . . she tugged his hair, just enough to let him know she wanted more and wanted him closer. Waves of warmth, of pleasure and desire, rippled outward from his scalp down to his toes, making a long visit to his cock. He was pretty sure his cock was even more excited than the rest of him. It was different because she’d made the first move this time. She’d closed the gap between them in that shy/ bold way she had.

  He groaned into her mouth as she opened to him. Her tongue was tentative at first, nearly shy. Her taste, bright and seductive, drove him, along with the curve of her bottom lip, so juicy it called out to be nipped.

  So he did, and the sound she made tore at his self-control. So much so that he laved away the sting and began to pull back before things got any hotter. He wanted to take her long and slow, not in a car on a street outside his house.

  At the loss of contact, her lids flew up, and the stormy green haze cleared, leaving her expression distressed. He laughed, feeling much the same way.

  “I know. But if I don’t stop right now, the police will be called, and I’ll have to explain to an old workmate of mine why I’m necking with a beautiful woman in public.” He rubbed the back of his neck and gave in, leaning toward her to take her lips again.

  This time she nipped his bottom lip, sucking it into the heat of her mouth, and his cock wanted to burst through the front of his sweats. He’d be masturbating about three seconds after he got through his front door at this rate. Again. His cock would fall off at this rate.

  Breath heaving, he pulled back, pressing his body to the seat to keep from lunging at her again. Damn, she tasted so fucking good, like nothing he’d ever imagined before but would be damned without now.

  Still, he didn’t want
her to think he didn’t want more of her. But he’d not scare her with the realization that he wanted all of her. Not just then. “Tonight has been a very big win in the fantasy-gone-reality column. I’ve wondered what you would kiss like for years. That peck from the dance club wasn’t nearly enough.”

  She smiled as she sat back into her seat, the worried look in her eyes fading. “Really? Me?”

  “Yeah, you.”

  “And?”

  “Better than I imagined. I’m planning to do more of that on Friday. Just sayin’.” He opened his door and got out before he did anything else. The last place he wanted to feel the glory of her nipple against his palm was in a car after all the drama of the conversation between Ben and their father. And damn did he want to feel that.

  He bent and looked inside at her and smiled. She returned the gesture, nearly felling him with the look on her face. “Night, Cope. I’ll see you on Friday.”

  “Night, Red.”

  Her laugh topped his day, wore away some of the sadness about his dad, and he straightened, closing her door and waving.

  He strolled away, looking back at her, watching her pull out into traffic and drive toward her place.

  8

  Ella wiped down the stainless-steel counters in the small kitchen in the café for what would be the very last time. She smiled as she did it.

  “I’m going to miss this,” she said to Erin, who sat nearby drinking tea and eating almond cookies Elise’s mother Martine had brought by sometime earlier. Her OB had told her she needed to spend more time off her feet and resting. “Well, not the cleaning up part. I’m just fine to hand that off to one of the others. But I suppose, feeling a part of this place, like it was mine too.”

  “If you make me cry, I’m going to pinch you.” Erin winked, her eyes already shining with tears. “This is an awesome time in your life, Ella. Celebrate it. All the best parts of your past will still be here without the crappy pay and having to wipe stuff down.”

  That was true. “Pay wasn’t so crappy because my boss was a soft-hearted wench. This café was my safe place for several years. It’ll be hard to lose that.”

  “We’re your safe place, El. Me and Elise. The guys. We’re your family. You don’t need to pull lattes. You have your degree, you have a great job and you’ll take the crappy part of your past and use that to help people get to the good part of their future.”

  “Now you’re going to make me cry, and I can’t pinch you because you’re pregnant.” Ella sighed and hopped up to sit on the counter. “I feel like it’s graduation day in a sense, you know? I’m scared. Not that I can’t handle my new job. I love that job, and I think I’m a good fit for it. But you know, the other things in my life that are all changing all at once. It’s exciting and scary.”

  “The dating stuff?”

  “That and having a social life. I feel . . . exposed maybe? I didn’t do so well the last time I tried this. What if ...”

  “What if it’s you? What if you’re just a horrible judge of character, and you’ll attract some guy who’ll do to you what Bill did?” Her tone told Ella that Erin thought it was all bunk.

  Damn. Well, she supposed that’s what you got when you had real friends who understood you, warts and all.

  “Yeah, I guess so. Am I so obvious?”

  “Here’s how I know. I rolled out of a self-induced haze of self-loathing and fear to see Todd. Could I actually have something with this man who had gone from my life years before? Could I, totally messed up and broken, risk opening up to anyone new? And then there was Ben.” Erin laughed. “Just when I’d figured out how to be with Todd, here comes another man into our life. I took chances, and yeah, I was afraid.”

  Ella grabbed a cookie. “But look at you now.”

  Erin rubbed her hands over her belly. “Yeah, look at me. Happy. In love. Loved like I’d never imagined before. It’s not easy. It hasn’t been easy. I hate that Ben and his father have this huge gulf between them. I hate that two of Todd’s siblings won’t even speak to him. I brought that into their lives, and I regret it.”

  “That’s not your fault.”

  “It’s totally my fault, El. But that’s all right. Because in the end, all that’s anyone else’s business is that everyone in our relationship is treated with dignity, respect and trust. We have that. It’s not traditional. It’s not what anyone’s mom and dad would have planned for, but other than the basics, it’s none of their fucking business. I’m not giving in because some jerk can’t deal with something that isn’t his to be worried over. What’s it to Billy Copeland that Ben is in love with two people? How is that any of his business? It makes Ben so sad, and that’s what bothers me.”

  “I’m sorry about all that. And you’re right, it’s not their business, and it’s not their choice.”

  “And there’s not some flaw inside you to blame for Bill. You broke up with him. You got a protection order. You did everything right, Ella. He’s the one who was wrong. He’s the one who hurt you. Andrew Copeland is a lot of things, but he’s no thug. He’s gone over you. I’ve never seen that before. And you are blossoming at this new stage in your life. Your eyes are clear, there’s a bounce in your step and you will make this work. Because you’re you.”

  “I invited Bill in.” She hopped down from the counter and began to put things away. Hanging the spoons, tucking clean linens back into drawers. “I brought him into my life. I chose him. I loved him at one time.”

  “It’s not as if you didn’t pay for that. An awfully big price for such a stupid mistake. So you liked the wrong dude. You had kicked him out and had moved on nearly a year before the attack. You made the right choice, Ella.”

  Ella didn’t know about that. Sure, she wore scars that reminded her every day of the cost she’d taken on for knowing Bill. He’d hurt her. But she’d allowed him to. What did that say about her? She heard the bells above the door chime. “Duty calls.”

  “Go home early to get ready.” Erin came out right behind her. “You’ve done your job here.” Erin took her hands. “You helped me through some rough times. Just your staying here through school while I got my life in order and through the pregnancy this far has been so important. Thank you.”

  Tears sprang up, and she couldn’t stop them. She hugged her friend. “You saved me, Erin. You went to court for me, with me, you stood up for me when I couldn’t be there, even though you had bad memories. You gave me more responsibilities and a decent paycheck here so I could be independent and finish school. You have always been my friend. I’d never in a million years be able to repay you for your myriad kindnesses.”

  “Aw man, you two.”

  They broke off the weepy hug to face Adrian, who stood at the counter, grinning.

  “No tears. This is a happy day.” He winked at Ella, reaching out to thumb away a tear on her cheek.

  Ella liked looking at Adrian Brown. His was a face that called out to be looked at. But it was his voice that always made her pay attention. He had a very specific sort of cadence to his voice. Not an accent, but he held on to the words as if he tasted them. Listening to him speak was like lying in a hammock, rocking slowly, the breeze caressing your skin. He had this way about him, honey-slow and sweet.

  He had a stunning amount of charisma, the sort of man who could make just about anyone feel special just by being near. It was all part of a whole package that was only enhanced by the fact that he was an extremely nice man.

  “It is. I know it is, thanks to you both.” She mopped at her eyes like a doofus and sniffled her tears away.

  Erin looked back toward the kitchen and then to Ella again. “I forgot to grab my schedule book. Ella, hon, can you go and get it for me? It’s on the desk in the back.”

  Ella nodded. “Lock up, will you, Adrian? It’s officially after closing,” she called over her shoulder as she went into the back to grab Erin’s book.

  She should have expected it, but it was still a surprise when she came back out and saw all her fri
ends had gathered with food, smiles and even balloons.

  “Surprise!” Elise bounded up and hurtled Ella into a hug. “You’re now living your new life. How totally awesome is that?”

  Tears gone, Ella just grinned at the assembled group. Brody, Elise, Todd, Ben, Erin, Adrian, Rennie. Cope. He looked at her then, and there wouldn’t have been a way to tear herself from that gaze, even if she had wanted to.

  Truly, what a gorgeous sight he made in nothing more complicated than jeans and a sweater. The toes of the boots peeking from the jeans and the way he stood telegraphed that he was way more than just a pretty face. Mmm, he totally pushed every button she had.

  Talking went on all around her, but her attention was snagged on Cope. He walked toward her until he was right in front of her, stealing the air from her lungs. He leaned down and kissed her, right on the mouth, right in front of everyone else.

  At first she was startled, but then she sank into it, letting him take, giving back in full measure, and Lord above, she liked it. Just two or three months before, even the thought of kissing someone would have given her some serious sweats. Any reaction other than pleasure seemed silly just then; the glory of the way he tasted sang through her system.

  It was him, Cope, the way he was with her, the fact that she knew him and trusted him. That made her open, comfortable to be titillated and seduced.

  It wasn’t a long, sloppy kiss, but it wasn’t the way you’d kiss your friend either. She resisted the urge to slide her fingers over lips that still tingled when he pulled away slowly, his body heat still against her, his scent wrapping about her senses.

  “Congratulations, Ella Tipton.”

  She swallowed hard and looked up into his face, loving the details of him. “Thank you, Andrew Copeland. I can’t believe you’re all here.” She should have looked around at the assembled crowd who laughed and talked, filling the space with their own brand of boisterous noise. Should have, but made no move to do so and look away from that mouth.

 

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