Inside Out

by Lauren Dane

  “Oh no.” She shook her head, putting her fingertips over his mouth. “You’ve said enough. And then some. It’s my turn now. You’re a cancer in your family. Why, I don’t know. Oh what? You think you’re the first guy on the planet who didn’t like who his son or daughter ended up with? You think you’re special? What you are is a coldhearted prick who seems to get off on abusing his family for kicks. Maybe you didn’t get enough hugs as a child, maybe your pea brain is too small to see how ridiculously and totally in love your son is with the people he’s made his life with. Maybe you’re one of those ignoramuses who thinks his opinions are facts. Frankly, at this stage, I don’t care.”

  “Just who do you think you are?” His stance shifted, got more aggressive, but she was filled with so much righteous indignation and anger for her friends and for the man she loved, she held her ground despite the tiny frisson of fear deep in her belly.

  “I think I’ve been friends with Erin Brown for longer than you’ve known her. I think I’m a person who watched her fall in love with your son every day. A person who watched your son fall for her and then for Todd. Oh, get that look off your face. It’s not like anyone is asking you to watch them have sex. Anyway, why is it you’re so fascinated with how your kid has sex and with whom? Seems to me that’s your issue, not his.”

  “You’re dating Andy, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. So now you can be unhappy with his choices too. I’m sure that will be a comfort to you at holiday dinners. Or when that baby says his first word, starts crawling for the first time, takes his first step. Your wife will be there for it. Are you so angry, so bitter and hateful that you’d willingly check out?”

  “Ella, that’s enough.” Andrew stepped out into the area from the stairwell. “It’s not worth it.”

  “Andrew Copeland, if this isn’t worth it, you please tell me what is.” She turned to him. “This man showed up here and has not done a thing to support his son who has to be terrified of losing his child. Why are you here, Mr. Copeland?”

  “This is family business. You’re not family, and I don’t have to make excuses to you.”

  “Fine, though I can’t be disappointed that you’re not family. What I can do is say what I’m thinking, because you’re not man enough to stop me. No one will stop me from speaking my mind ever again.” She said the latter to both of them.

  “And what’s on your mind then? That I should throw a party for my half-gay son who is maybe having a baby, maybe not? That I should celebrate this baby who should not have ever been conceived to start with? What kind of life will that child have? You think all the other kids are going to be so hip and with it that they’ll accept two dads and a mom who looks like a pen exploded on her?”

  “Is that what you think people want from you? Really? Your level of hubris is unbelievable. This isn’t about you. Don’t you get that?”

  “Ella, honey, just let it go.” Cope touched her arm.

  “Let it go? Are you kidding me? He comes here, stirs trouble, and no one wants to say boo to him. Why? It’s a serious question.” She knew they had a complicated relationship. What father and son didn’t? But this man didn’t deserve two sons as wonderful as Andrew and Ben.

  “You are not family. You’re the problem!”

  “You are, and you’re acting like a thug. And for whatever reason, you’re getting a pass. Not from me. The fact is, I am family. I’m more family to Erin than you will ever be, and I don’t need your permission to tell you I think you should go if you can’t at least be halfway supportive. My friend is in the hospital, scared about losing her child.”

  “Get this woman out of my face, Andy.”

  Andrew put his arm around her shoulders. “Dad, I think you need to take a breath and calm down. This isn’t helpful, and you promised to behave if you came upstairs.”

  “I’m not taking any direction from this woman or from anyone else. This is none of her business.”

  She started to speak, but Cope squeezed her shoulders. Which frustrated her, but it wasn’t the time for that. She knew he was most likely embarrassed by his father’s behavior and perhaps even hers. But she’d deal with that later. This man should not be allowed to make Erin, Ben or Todd feel bad here and now. If he wanted to hate at his own home, that was his choice. But not here. Not now.

  He relaxed a little when she kept quiet. “Dad, we’ve discussed this, and you had options. You came here, so I’d imagine somewhere inside, you want to be helpful and loving. But on the outside? Not so much.”

  “I’m not having this conversation with her here.”

  Ella sighed but said nothing else to him. She turned to Cope. “I’m going back up.” She wanted to warn him again not to bring his attitude back up in there, but it felt like overkill, so she let it be.

  Halfway back up the stairwell it hit her, and she had to pause, holding her belly. She’d done it. She’d stood up for her friends in the face of exactly the sort of aggression Bill used on her to keep her compliant.

  She’d wanted to turn and run a few times, but she’d stood her ground.

  She pumped her fist into the air once and smiling, began to climb again.

  23

  “Everything all right?” Elise sidled up to her once she got back. The room was emptier than it had been; Todd’s parents sat near the windows, Lorie’s head on her husband’s shoulder while she worked on her knitting. Todd sat with them, talking quietly with his father. Now there was a man who had problems and sincerely worked to get past them.

  “Where’s Ms. Irene?”

  “She’s with Adrian, cheering him up. She told him he needed to look at the fish on the floor below us. That’s where her pediatrician is. They have big tanks but also play sets, which I wager Adrian has now figured out. Good thing he’s smitten with her.”

  “It is a good thing. It’s a good thing she’s surrounded by people who love her and appreciate her for who she is.”

  Elise’s brows rose for a moment as she drew Ella farther from the others. “What the hell happened down there? Do I need to hunt that asshat down and kick him for you?”

  “Where’s Annalee?”

  “She hit the bathrooms. Probably needed some time alone after her dumb ass of a husband humiliated her the way he did. Ben went back to yank Brody out so Adrian could get in.”

  “Has anyone called Raven? I know she’ll want to be here.”

  “You’re totally avoiding the subject. I called her. She’s in Portland and on her way back now. What the fuck happened? And do not ask me another question having nothing to do with that dingus Billy Copeland.”

  “Testy. The cute blond ponytail prevents you from truly taking the rank of head bitch in charge, though.”

  Elise fought a smile. “Hurry up. Brody will be back soon, and he’ll frown on gossip.”

  “I just told him to be supportive or get out. I don’t think anyone needs that negative energy.”

  “I imagine he was very receptive to that.”

  “Whatever. In my opinion, if he comes back up here and he can’t be civil, they should have security remove him. I don’t care if it hurts anyone’s feelings or not; Erin is the important one here, and I’ve had it with all this tiptoeing around what a big giant cockhead that man is. Trying all that aggressive stuff on me like I was one of his minions.”

  Elise’s expression softened. “He threatened you?”

  “Not outwardly. He’s one of those men who uses his body to make the threat. You know, Grrr, I’m big and mighty. Watch me stick my chest out and fear me. I’ve met that one before. Done with it. My impression is that he loves his sons. I believe that, honestly. But he is so wrapped up in the kind of relationship Ben has with Todd and Erin that he’s got a disconnect the size of Texas about it.”

  “Cope’s down there with him?”

  “Yes. So hey, you want me to sweep Rennie out of here and keep her for the night? I’d love to, you know. I love your kid.”

  Elise hugged her. “I know, and that m
akes me so happy. You know Rennie adores you. Brody and I are going home. He wanted to sleep out here tonight, but we’re ten minutes away, and they’ve promised to call if there’s any problems. Apparently Erin just flat-out insisted he go home as there was nothing he could do. He can’t say no to her.”

  “She’s right. But that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when someone you love is in trouble.”

  “I feel like you’re going through all this stuff and I’m only seeing part of it. I want to hear all about how things are with Cope and all this stuff with his family and how that’s affecting you. I’m being a shitty friend. I’m sorry. We need to catch up so you can fill me in.”

  “Don’t apologize! You’re planning a wedding, raising a child, and dealing with all this stuff with Erin and the baby. We talk all the time anyway. It’s just that I’m trying to process it still. But when I get it figured out, you’ll be the first to know.” Or maybe the second. A lot of it had to do with Cope, so she’d probably talk to him first. “I got through it, though. That much I can process now. I was scared when he was so angry. Not that he’d hurt me; I don’t think he’d go that far.”

  “The man tried to punch his son!”

  “Yeah, he’s a dingus. But that’s part of their macho dude thing. I’ve seen Ben and Andrew shove each other and get in each other’s faces before too. I can’t even imagine punching my child, even if he were an adult. I’m not excusing that. He was wrong and he’s being a dick, but I don’t think he’d strike a woman. But my stomach hurt, you know? It pushed buttons I keep forgetting I have. I stood my ground, Elise. I stood it for Erin and for myself. Maybe even for Andrew too.”

  Elise smiled. “Yeah. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

  “Sometimes.”

  They settled back onto the couches to wait. Adrian and Rennie came back from their sojourn just as Brody came out.

  Brody turned to his brother as they all walked to where everyone sat. “She’s good. Tired. Scared. They’ve got a heart monitor on her belly, and she’s counting kicks every two hours. Kid’s strong, doing just fine at this point. Visiting time is up in an hour, so she made me promise to take you and Rennie to a movie and dinner. I counteroffered with a DVD and dinner at home.”

  “More evidence that she’s on the mend.” Ella grinned.

  “Don’t know where that stubborn streak comes from at all,” Adrian muttered as he came through. “My turn to run in and see her. Don’t leave though; I’ve promised your daughter that I would hang out with you all tonight.”

  “So he doesn’t get sad all by himself.” Rennie squeezed his hand before reaching for Brody’s.

  “I think that is a very fine idea. I also think Ella needs to come too.” Elise grinned. “We’ll even let you have black olives on the pizza.”

  Ella rolled her eyes.

  “Oh please, please? That would be so fun!” Rennie hopped on one foot a moment before she remembered where she was. “Sorry, Dad.”

  Brody’s entire demeanor softened whenever he dealt with Rennie. It made Ella all smooshy inside to see it happen. He turned and knelt so they’d be eye to eye. “Muffin, you don’t have to apologize for being you. It’s a fine quality, you know, to be happy and excited about the world. Erin’s going to be okay, and so is the baby. So you can dance and hop and be Irene all you want.”

  Elise looked to Ella over the two of them, her lower lip trembling just a little bit.

  “You drive a hard bargain, but how can I say no to hanging out with all my favorite people?” She had planned to spend the evening with Andrew, but she was unsure that would be happening with all this upheaval.

  “Bring a bag and stay over. That way we can stay up after and chat over a bottle of wine,” Elise said quietly. “Oh, unless you were planning on staying over at Cope’s place. He can stay at ours too. Goodness knows he has before.”

  “I honestly don’t know what his plans are. I’ll leave him a voice mail though, to tell him where I’m going and to invite him. I wish I could help more here.”

  Annalee came into the room. “Are you all right?” she asked Ella quietly. “Was he horrible?”

  “I’m fine. Really. I hope I didn’t upset you, but I feel quite strongly that what Erin, Todd and Ben need right now is not to be mocked or treated with anything less than support. She’s my friend, and she’s been there for me when most everyone else wasn’t. I will carry that in my heart until the day I die. There is no excuse for this hateful tantrum. I know you’re in the middle, and I’ve been there too.” Though Annalee didn’t seem like she was controlled, her husband was a total asshole, and Ella would not allow him to harm Erin.

  “I had been hoping he’d come around. I don’t expect you to understand; you shouldn’t have to. He isn’t normally like this. I’ve been praying it was a lapse in judgment and he’d finally see his way through. Dean has; most of the others have. That’s his boy.” She shrugged, and Ella gave in, hugging the other woman.

  “I don’t need to understand, and I don’t judge you for trying to.”

  “I wish I could.” Annalee shook her head.

  Adrian came out with Ben, and both men headed their way.

  Ben hugged his mother again. “Why don’t you head home? I’ll keep you in the loop about everything. Todd and I will be allowed to stay in her room tonight, even though she’s insisting we don’t need to.” He rolled his eyes. “It means a lot to me, to us, that you’re here.”

  “Oh baby, where else would I be?”

  Ella needed to give them all some space, probably needed a little herself too. “I’ll see you all in a few hours. You call me if anything changes or you need anything at all. Do you guys have a change of clothes and toothbrushes? Stuff like that?”

  “After the last time, Erin made us put bags in the trunk just in case. We’re good.” Ben leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Thank you for that thing with my dad. I expect I’ll be hearing all the details soon enough. For now, know that we all love you, okay? Erin says to tell you she’ll be cupcake-ready in a few weeks.”

  “Tell her there’s a red velvet with her name on it, when she’s ready.”

  She hugged everyone one last time and headed out.

  “Dad, what is your deal? Why did you come here if nothing has changed?”

  Cope had wanted to run after Ella to check on her, to make sure she was all right, but damn it, his father needed dealing with too, and she’d gotten them more than halfway in a way he’d never expected.

  It was hot, even as he was annoyed she’d hare off and challenge his father in a hospital parking lot like she was more than a bitty woman with more love in her heart than could be measured.

  That she understood and accepted him, knew him better than the man he stood facing right then, was no small irony and no small amount of pain to admit. He’d spent all his life hoping his father would pay attention. All his life being measured against Ben and trying to do that, but failing because he wasn’t Ben. And damn it, why it took him thirty-six years to discover that it wasn’t supposed to be that way, he didn’t know. To understand that he didn’t have to be, because he was Andrew.

  Ella knew that.

  “I told you I came because your mother was upset. I promised to behave. It was your girlfriend who caused this mess. For fuck’s sake, boy, you traffic with whores for years, and now you get this one hanging on you. Your mother says she had some violence in her past. Why do you and your brother sniff after damaged goods?”

  He lunged forward, pinning his father to the wall just to the left of the elevator bank. “You shut your mouth about her and about Erin too. You don’t know shit about it.”

  “Get off, or I’ll knock you on your ass.”

  Cope snorted, stepping back. “You’re full of it, old man. I’ve given you a pass because I love you. I will always love you because you’re my father. But that man, the man who taught me how to carve, how to fit a joist, the guy who was there to take a picture the first time I hooked
a trout, that man is not here today. You’re half a man who’s become obsessed over stuff that’s just not his business. So you don’t like it that Ben is in love with people you don’t approve of. BFD. And? Do you run all your decisions past us? He’s nearly forty with a baby on the way. He knows what he’s doing. He’s got a successful business, and I hate that you can’t see how much he’s loved.”

  “He’s a deviant! Can’t just be gay, oh no. He has to have two partners, or spouses, or whatever the hell you kids call it nowadays. Can’t brag on the baby on the way because Dean already does. What am I supposed to say to that?”

  Cope sighed heavily. “This isn’t about you. Until you realize that, you’re not welcome in my life or in Ben’s. He only tolerated you here today because you promised to behave. And then lied. Far as I can see, he hasn’t lied. He’s trying to live his life as honestly as he can, given the unusual circumstances. But you? You’re a piece of work. Just because you’re my father and I love you does not mean I have to have you in my life.”

  He hit the elevator button. “I’m done with you. If you come back up, I’ll call security. I’m not going to allow you to harm anyone else I love, and that includes Ella.”

  24

  Ben was waiting for him when he got off the elevator.

  “You all right? Do I need to send a nurse down there?”

  Cope heaved a heavy sigh. “I don’t know that this is ever going to be all right, Ben. I’m sorry.”

  His brother smiled at him and led him back into the adjacent waiting room. “Dude, is that what you think you need to do? Fix this?”

  “He can’t go on like this, ripping at you and Erin. We can’t just not say anything.”

  “What about you? He rip at you? He tried to hit you, Andy. Just leave it be. I have enough to freak out about, and he can’t be allowed to be part of that. I don’t like it, but you know what? Fuck him. I’m not asking him to do anything more than accept my choices.”