by Hoy, E. S
He pulled her into a gentle hug and held her until she stopped crying then wiped her face, “Next time I see you you will be smiling and at home safe, part of him felt a little uneasy she seemed withdrawn and sad, he couldn't gage her mood at all, he thought she would be happier to be coming back, he dismissed his anxieties,” your mum will be here in a couple of hours, when you get home I will be still in bed so wake me up if you want when you get home”
Sophie smiled as he left then lay back and the tears came back with a vengeance. An hour later she had written her note for Marcus and her mum walked in with a change of clothes and a warm smile.
“up you get now are you totally certain this is the right thing to do Sophie it is a big thing to walk away from the love of your life, believe me I know all about that when I walked away from your father”
They never talked about Saul Ramsay he was her mums true love they had met as students he was a budding author, they spent every minute together and moved into together after graduation very happy for a few months but she had left him because he wanted to marry her and make her a domestic goddess but she wanted a career, she spent a month working for a large newspaper in London trying to get over him, then discovered she was carrying his child, she raced back to Manchester to win him back but he had emigrated to Australia and she never saw or heard from him again. The fact she kept the baby had always surprised Sophie considering her ambitions, but with hard work and determination she was now owner of a television production company and sat on the board of two major newspaper groups, she had also been a fantastic mother to her, she had looked for Saul a few times since but with no joy, Diane had never married she always told Sophie if you can't have “the one” then nobody else would do.
It was four in the afternoon when Marcus woke up, he stretched and then sat up, Sophie must have decided not to wake him up, he jumped in the shower had a quick shave put his smartest jeans on and raced down hoping to find her being fussed over by his mother who had arrived this morning to spend time with them both, when he walked into the living room he stopped in his tracks, his parents were alone and they were looking at him with a mixture of fear and sadness. Barbee stood up “son we went to the hospital to find out why Sophie hadn't been discharged yet and she was already gone”
Marcus looked at her shaking his head “gone what do you mean gone”
“she had left earlier with Diane, they left a note for you with Sally, here read it please the suspense has been killing me”
she handed him the note, he just stared at it, why would she go, what would she do, she looked fine earlier, then he remembered her sobbing words of apology was that her goodbye. Marcus sat down stunned and opened the note, the last contact he may have with the love of his life.
Dearest Marcus my angel my good Samaritan Please believe me when I say I love you, I do so much it hurts me, I cannot imagine my life without you in it. When I killed Jasper I know it must have horrified you and then you had to see the photos, how can you possibly love someone capable of those things, you are too good for me angel, you deserve better please forgive me please don't hate me but most of all don't give up on love, you are a wonderful man and you will find it again but with someone worthy I am nothing, just an empty shell, I think I am too broken for even you to fix Doc.
I Will Love you forever, Sophie
Through his tears Marcus noticed a second note inside the envelope it was from Diane, and it was his lifeline to Sophie. Dear Marcus
Sophie is making a huge mistake, but I understand why she feels she needs to do this for you, I have taken her with me to France and below is the address of my villa where we are staying, just give her a few days then please come and save my daughter again. I know you love her she just doesn't understand why you would, so come and convince she is worthy, I am staying with her until Tuesday, then she is all yours, stay as long as you both need to sort out her feelings, I know you can make her happy and I trust you with the most precious thing I have, see that you take care of her. Diane
on the back was an address in La Rochelle France. Marcus stood up and left his parents standing there but he had to sort things out he phoned the hospital and took indefinite leave of absence, given that they all knew about Sophie they were very understanding and were happy to keep his job open as long as he needed. He booked a single flight for early hours of Tuesday morning then when that was all sorted he went back to his shell shocked parents and explained the situation, they were supportive and gave their blessing, Barbee had really taken to Sophie her maternal instincts worked overdrive with her and she loved her dearly and was keen to keep her in the family, Don too agreed with Diane he needed to go and she needed to be healed mentally before they returned home, they also felt she may find coming back here traumatic for a while so Marcus extended the lease on her little cottage and to keep himself busy he would make the cottage homely for her return in case his renovations were not complete at the house, so that if she did decide to come back she would feel safe. Next he contacted Duncan and asked him to come and design a new structure to replace the boat house, 24 hrs later the two brothers and Duncan's new girlfriend an Architect called Louise were designing a beautiful summer house to replace it, he was also using an interior designer, Louise's brother to totally redecorate the house to give it a face lift, a fresh start was what Sophie needed, he wanted to live here with her forever and he couldn't even contemplate coming home from France without her. His parents returned to Cheshire, Duncan was busy supervising the demolition job and Marcus was left to ponder how he would convince his girl he was in it for keeps, he had an idea that may just work.
Chapter 18 Sophie was relaxing on a sun lounger reading her kindle, she had spent the last two days doing exactly that and was enjoying the “Twilight” saga she had watched the films with Charlotte but was enjoying the books much more. The sun was doing a wonderful job of healing her cuts and despite the fact she was a redhead she did tan quite well and her skin was now a golden colour which made her scars less noticeable, she was using the oil as instructed by Raj, her mum did her back every morning and the difference was noticeable even after such a short time, her mum had treated her to a manicure and a haircut, she loved her hair it was cut just to the middle of her back and she had layers put in so the curls with softer around her face. Although Sophie was healing outwardly her inner self was still a complete train wreck but the worst thing of all was the hole in her that leaving Marcus had made, she was desperate to ring him and beg him to come to her but she needed to do the right thing and let him move on, as sad as that made her she felt it was the right thing to do. After dinner she went for a walk by the sea she missed Anglesey but it was definitely warmer here and that was a fact! Her mum was going home in the morning and she was feeling a little anxious about being on her own again, Diane had been amazing and they had sat talking for hours in fact Diane had decided when she returned to London she was going to try and track Saul down again, Sophie should know her dad they were both really excited about it, he was a budding writer with a bright future when they had met at university, she knew he had always wanted to be a novelist or scriptwriter so that would be where she would start her search. Diane left for the airport shortly after their morning coffee on the decking, Sophie felt empty here alone but she put on her bikini and went back to the sun lounger and picked up her kindle, the silence was suddenly compounding her empty feeling and she was feeling just like Bella in the book she was reading, she had to hold her arms around herself to hold herself together and soothe the gaping hole in her chest, Sophie was feeling exactly the same way, Bella gets her happy ending though, Sophie’s hole was just going to get bigger. Lunch times Sophie and her mum had walked to the little bakery at the bottom of the hill to get a fresh baguette every day, they had a stash of cheese in the fridge, Sophie hadn’t really eaten anything since the accident nausea hit her frequently during the day and it made eating seem impossible, today she was peckish so decided to try and eat. She slipped a sundr
ess over her bikini it was floor length so covered her wounds and she walked down to the Patisserie. As she was walking back up the hill carrying her petit pain she noticed a man walking towards her she blinked and stopped in her tracks, she lifted her sun glasses up and tried to focus her eyes, it couldn't be him surely, she must be hallucinating, that or wishful thinking but as he got closer to her there was no mistaking that floppy brown hair gorgeous mouth and broad shoulders, it was Marcus he had come for her, she couldn't believe that despite everything, despite her letter, her horrific actions, he was here for her. Although Sophie’s head was saying stop her heart exploded and she dropped bread and ran towards him ignoring the look of shock on his face she threw herself straight into his arms and planted her mouth firmly on his he hesitated for no more than a second before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her back relishing in each other’s warmth after being starved for so long.
Marcus had arrived at the villa and found it empty he had looked round the back and was about to phone Diane when he saw a beautiful redhead floating up the hill, he had walked towards her with trepidation thinking she would send him straight back, but instead her face lit up and she threw herself into his arms, his heart soared as she kissed him passionately, he was overjoyed and maybe then he hadn't lost her at all and that she was still his.
They drew apart and stared at each other eyes locked breathing ragged, “I thought you would send me away once I got here, this was not what I expected”
“how did you find me, was it my mother?” he nodded shamefully Diane was a wonderful person Sophie thought “Mum was right though, I have to admit she did tell me that all I needed a couple of days to mend, she always believed I would still want you but I wasn't convinced until I saw you just then, you walked towards me and I knew you were my life and I couldn’t live without you 3 days was hard enough”
He grinned at her “I've waited almost two weeks to hold you like this imagine how I feel, Diane told me to come but to give you some time first I was to wait until she left, she has also offered us the villa for as long as we need to get back to where we were before all this happened” “but what about work?” Sophie asked, he smiled at her and lowered her to the ground “They have given me an unlimited leave of absence so we have all the time we want” She was so happy she forgot her bread and took his hand they walked together back to the villa “I know we need to talk Marcus there are a lot of things to deal with but first things first I want to show you the villa!”
Marcus loved the villa, it was all cream with white shutters on the windows, the downstairs was open plan the windows were bi fold and opened the whole length of the living room opening on to their own private beach and large deck area, he took his bags upstairs to the one and only bedroom which was stunning, a large four poster with voile curtains, whitewashed walls, a real fireplace and the en suite had a sunken jacuzzi bath. He unpacked his things and hung his clothes, he was hot from the journey so he took a shower and changed into shorts and a t shirt. When he went to look for Sophie she was settled on a sun lounger with her eyes closed she was smiling and enjoying the sun he drank in the sight of her, Sophie in a bikini was a centrefold dream, she had lost quite a bit of weight but still he felt a familiar twitch and hastily sat on the lounger next to her, her hair looked glossy and the curls seemed softer somehow it looked a little shorter but so soft, she looked like she was sleeping so he had chance to look closely at her wounds, they were healing very quickly she was a beautiful colour, surprising for one so normally pale, the cuts on her thighs were now just dark red lines the stitches had dissolved they looked weeks old rather than days his friend had done a superb job of stitching her, the burn marks had faded into her tan and were barely visible but his eyes were being dragged back to her chest her breasts sun tanned were incredible he wanted nothing more than to touch them and kiss them but that would have to wait, she caught him looking at her. Sophie smiled at him thrilled he still wanted her so much a quick glance at his crotch showed her exactly how badly he wanted her, but he would have to wait a little while longer, she pulled her sarong across herself sighed and sat up. “I still feel the same way about you Marcus my desire and love has not altered but what has is my feelings towards myself” she reached her hand to his and Marcus sank to his knees and rested his head on her lap “ I have done a terrible thing taking someone’s life no matter how much he deserved it, the thing that scares me is I don’t feel sad I enjoyed smashing his head in” she shuddered and Marcus looked up at her anguished face “I don’t know if I can ever erase the memory but feeling sexy and desirable is just so far from my thoughts, I can see how much you still want me and that makes me feel there is hope for me, but you have seen the medical reports haven’t you?” Marcus nodded he knew her internal damage was similar to childbirth and she would take at least another 5 weeks before she healed but as for her mental scars he had no idea how much time they would take to heal if ever. “Sophie you have as much time as you need I will not touch you that way again until you instigate it all I want is to hold you and take care of you the rest can wait” Sophie stroked his hair then held his face in her hands “if anyone can heal me Doc you can “ he sat back on his lounger and pulled her into his lap they stayed that way until the sun went down.
Over the next couple of weeks the days were filled with walks along the beach and swimming in the sea the salt water was great for Sophie’s wounds. Sophie was still not eating well but Marcus took over the cooking and gradually her appetite was returning, the nights were hard for Marcus he held Sophie every night but the night terrors were hideous for him to witness, he felt so helpless holding back her hair while she vomited and then soothing her as she shook and cried herself back to sleep, he wondered how she would have coped alone and was glad he had chosen to ignore her wishes. Sophie herself was thrilled Marcus was with her, she could see how much he was suffering but his love was so tangible it made her feel so safe and she knew if he hadn’t been there she would have driven herself mad or gone back to him anyway, she felt selfish relying on him so much but he seemed to be satisfied the way things were. The fact he had restrained himself so far made her love him even more, she could see how much she affected him and although it delighted her she wondered how long he could wait if she never felt able again. The days ran together and they were both glowing with the effects of the sun and Sophie was eating better and her night terrors had calmed enough that she was no longer being sick after, that night she decided she wanted to thank Marcus in a special way, Sophie herself had never pleasured a man and as she still felt sore intercourse was still a few weeks away instead she would give him her mouth, she was a little scared as she had never done that to a man before but as it was not linked to any trauma she felt this was a way back to normal without risking her freaking out on him.
Marcus had gone for a jog and was in the shower so Sophie slipped into her silk neglige’ and poured a couple of glasses of wine, she downed one quickly for Dutch courage then poured another ready, she heard the shower door and sat on the bed to wait for him.
Marcus felt refreshed after his shower and was pondering what to make them for dinner, he stopped short when he walked into the bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed her hair loose draped around her shoulders wearing a very transparent bit of silk he gulped and didn’t know what to do, she twitched her finger at him beckoning him over, he clung to his towel which was struggling to disguise his sudden arousal and stepped just in front of her. Sophie put both hands on his hips and looked up at him biting her lip and nervously pulled him closer so her nose was level with his abdomen, when she kissed him there he practically convulsed, neither of them spoke a word somehow Marcus knew she was taking control and it was something she needed to do so he watched her with wonder. Her hands stroked his bottom then in one move she pulled away his towel and instantly kissed the tip of his erection whilst looking up at him under her lashes, a deep growl escaped him as she took him into her beautiful mouth, he closed his eyes and resiste
d reaching for her hair and enjoyed the sensations she was giving him, her mouth took him in deeper and as she slid him back she used the edge of her front teeth to catch his ridge and almost drove him to explode, her right hand clasped his thickness and her other stroked his cheeks her nails dragging as she pulled him closer to her, his eyes flew open as she took almost his entire length and as she drew back out that was enough after a month of frustration he could restrain no longer and he spurted down her throat he watched as she licked him clean and then lay her cheek on his thigh. “Sophie you are fantastic baby that was wonderful thank you” she looked at him with tears threatening, he pulled her upright and kissed her as if his life depended on it she returned the passion equally, no more was said about it but they both knew that was a huge step towards her recovery and they held hands and cuddled until sleep took them and for the first time since the fatal night Sophie slept peacefully in his arms.
Chapter 19 The next week was definitely a better one they began to touch each other naturally without restraint, Marcus found ways of returning the pleasure to Sophie without intercourse and they had lots of fun finding ways to reach orgasm one morning after Marcus had driven her wild with his wonderful tongue! Marcus released her and stroked her face “I want to talk to you Sophie so stop molesting me now and listen to every word I am about to say” she pulled her sarong back around her and pouted at him sulking for stopping her play, he grinned then his face was serious “ baby I love you more than life itself and I want you to finally believe that and accept that you are loveable, we have had a tricky beginning but we belong together and here away from the press and away from family we have built something strong, we are free now and nothing can hurt us but I want you to feel safe and secure more than anything” he suddenly sank to his knees by the sun bed “so I am asking you Sophie Merchant if you will do me the most amazing honour by agreeing to become my beloved wife and being mine forever” he took a ring from his pocket and held it out to her she looked at him then at the ring and was totally stumped she did not expect him to do this not ever and she was in shock suddenly with tears in her eyes she jumped on his lap allowing her heart to just take over her usual nagging doubts, she wanted him more than anything too and sobbed!” yes yes yes yes I love you too I will marry you and I will stay with you forever” Marcus placed the ring on her finger it was his grandmas engagement ring and was a huge solitaire diamond, his granddad had exquisite taste far too opulent than Sophie’s usual tastes but she loved it, it was a bit loose on her tiny finger she hugged her hand to her chest the sobs had turned into shrieks as he picked her up and swung her round he then carried her up to bed so they could get carry on exploring other ways to pleasure each other.