A Graceful Swan for the Fearless Marquess: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance

by Fanny Finch

  Was it merely a thing of convenience? A necessity that must be done with?

  Surely not. Sebastian was too warm a man, and very given to emotions. Although he held them in check most times, she could always see them in his eyes.

  With her, they could not stay unhidden. They swirled in those pools of violet waves, every time he spoke of something dear to him.

  Surely, such a man would not want to enter a loveless marriage? And if so, if he was considering marriage to her, would it mean that he loved her, in fact?

  Oh, but why would he not just say it? Better he did and put them both out of this misery!

  “Lilly?”

  His head turned then, facing her then, and that was when she realized that his lips had been moving all this while, speaking to her. She had heard not one thing.

  Shaking her head, so she could bring herself out of it, she offered him a small, guilty smile.

  “Yes, Sebastian? Were you saying something?”

  “I was. A lot of things, actually.” He paused and turned around fully. She was forced to do the same. They no longer stood side by side.

  “Is all well, my dear? Do you feel ill? Would you like for us to return home?”

  “What?” she chuckled, finding that he had thought her ill a tad funny. Apparently, he found no amusement. Instead, his brows furrowed in concern.

  It made her heart warm so, to see how purely he cared for her.

  “No, Sebastian, I am not unwell. I am very well, in fact. My apologies. I simply got lost in my thoughts for a bit.”

  “You seem to have been lost in your thoughts all afternoon. What is the matter? Pray tell me, do you find this a bore? Would you rather be elsewhere? I reckoned you love galleries.”

  “Oh, I do. Very much so. It’s just… I have many things that I cannot seem to stop thinking about.”

  His brows furrowed more deeply, as he took a closer look at her.

  “Liliana, you are aware that you can speak with me of anything, are you not?”

  Yes, she was. Yet, this was not one of such matters to be discussed with the man in question. How would she tell him of Lord Rothwell’s wishes and request? Surely, he would see her as an opportunist!

  Oh no! That would not do.

  She peered up at him, wondering if she could use this moment to her advantage in the very least.

  “Anything?”

  “Certainly. We are friends, are we not? We are more than that. I have confided in you, my most precious secrets. I do not think there is any need to have any reservations amongst ourselves. Do you?”

  She smiled, knowing he was trying hard to be convincing and that he meant every word he said.

  “Hmm… I do, Sebastian. I do. Alright then, I shall speak. Pray, do not take this the wrong way, my lord, but I have always wondered, what is marriage to you?”

  “Marriage?”

  She did not know what he was expecting, but by the look of surprise in his eyes, she knew it was not that question. Still, the look was more of amusement than shock. It appeared he did not mind the question one bit.

  He started to walk, and she followed suit, easily keeping up with his short, lazy strides.

  “Oh well, I suppose, a home. Yes, when I think of marriage, I think of a home. A home filled with love, and laughter. Lots of laughter. A home filled with genuine friendship, beyond the duties of man and wife. A home filled with loyalty, and children. Little children who resemble the ones who have birthed them into this world, running around the house, and bringing joy. More than can ever be measured. A home, Liliana, to me, is a place of peace.”

  Liliana stood, lost for words, her breath paused.

  This man. Who was he and how could he be so perfect? She had never seen a more beautiful answer to such a simple, yet, meaningful question.

  He had spoken of love, and joy, and children, loyalty and peace. All of those things Liliana held dear to her heart. Values that her father had grained into her since she was only a child.

  “Liliana? You seem bewildered.”

  She chuckled, recovering. “Amazed, is more like it, my lord. You spoke so deeply, I could tell it was from the heart. Funny, that is what my father always told me marriage should be. It was what I grew up, hoping mine would be.”

  “And now?”

  He was looking at her, searching her eyes, and she knew he was asking a deeper question than his words echoed.

  Her lips curved in a smile, aware that she would never stop loving this man, she would bless always, the day their paths cross.

  “I believe the same, my lord. Only, more strongly. Marriage should be a home filled with all of those, indeed. Beyond duty, encompassed with love.”

  He chuckled, the lazy sound washing over her in a way that made her stomach tremble.

  “Spoken like a true lover of art. Perhaps, my dear one, you should consider writing some poetry yourself, I do believe you would have success at it.”

  “Truly? But women do not…”

  “Pshaw, nonsense! They do, and they have since the beginning of time. Many of the great books you read, and the poems that leave your heart full, were written by women. Only, under aliases, or as is popularly known, anonymous.”

  “Truly, you think so?”

  “I know so, Liliana. Very much so. So, do not be afraid to try your hand at it, if you so desire. I shall help with the printing and distribution. Mayhap, we shall come up with a genius alias for you. What do you think of Swan Ali? ‘Tis your name, only shortened and of course, rearranged.”

  “Swan Ali…” she repeated, testing the sound of it against her tongue. A genius thought struck her then. “It is lovely, indeed. Nevertheless, consider this… Alan Swan. It does sound more like Liliana Swan, does it not?”

  He looked down at her once again, his eyes filled with unmistakable admiration. Liliana felt her tumble and breathed more life.

  “Yes, it does, and very English. You see, my lady, you do have a penchant for this business, I tell you. Now, let’s move along and see how much money we can make from this venture.”

  He sounded excited, and so was Liliana. The rest of the afternoon went by just as beautifully. They visited a few other places, discussed more topics of interests and mulled over ideas for this new venture.

  It was at the park, their last place of a visit, that they ran into Lady Evelyn Grendon.

  She was the lady Sebastian had been keeping company of, at that very first ball. Her wedding to Lord Samuel Grendon had taken place at the great parish, only a fortnight ago.

  It had been a lovely one, and Sebastian had received a special invitation as a close friend of the couple. He had invited Liliana as his plus one, of course, and he had told her of the story between the two love birds.

  It had made the entire wedding even more beautiful for Liliana to experience, and she had shed a tear or two- maybe more. To see Lady Evelyn, end up with the one man she had always loved all these years, was nothing short of magical.

  They had been unable to take their eyes off each other and though a whirlwind courtship, it had been clear that Lord Grendon was just as much in love with his lady, and she was with him.

  After the wedding, at the reception, Sebastian had formally introduced her to the newly married couple, and both of them had taken an instant liking to her.

  Especially Evelyn, who had been warm and all smiles. Liliana had decided there and then, that she adored the older woman.

  So, it was only natural that she began to beam, the moment she took sight of them.

  “My goodness! What a lovely surprise, running into you two!” It was Evelyn as the distance between them diminished. She was quick to take Liliana into her arms, kissing her on both cheeks.

  Liliana returned the affection, and when they came apart, she acknowledged Lord Grendon, as Evelyn, greeted Sebastian like the friend he was.

  After pleasantries were exchanged, the men were soon off, discussing business in the wake of a new-born partnership, leaving the ladies alon
e to fill their time with idle gossip.

  Only, neither Liliana nor Evelyn were any of such women.

  So, they spoke about art, and books, and travels. Evelyn was a well-travelled lady as Liliana had been told. It was exciting to hear a woman like herself, speak of the world beyond England.

  Liliana wished silently that someday, she too would be able to tell these tales for herself.

  “I used to be like you once you know,”

  Liliana turned to Evelyn, realizing for the umpteenth time that her eyes had strayed to Sebastian, unable to keep off him.

  “What?” she asked, even though she knew exactly what it was Evelyn spoke of.

  “Stealing glances, I used to be like you. In fact, I am still like you. Although, now, not so much because I know that he is entirely mine and he is going nowhere. Nevertheless, I just can’t get enough of looking at him, you know. It’s that way when you are in love.”

  Liliana blushed, but said nothing. There was nothing to say. It was useless to deny.

  “Sebastian told me it wasn’t always this way between the both of you.”

  “Ah yes, for the longest time, he could not see me. He only saw the little sister he never had. I have never had a more difficult challenge in all my life, getting him to see me as more. As it happens, you are in a better situation than I was. He sees you. Sebastian. He always has, and he cares for you. In fact, I dare say, he is just as in love with you as you are with him.”

  The last part shocked Liliana. “Surely, he did not say something to you?”

  Evelyn laughed at those words. “Oh my. It is true, is it not? It is often easier for anyone who cared to look to see, but hard for the two people who actually need to see. He has never spoken of his love, has he?”

  Liliana shook her head.

  “Neither you of yours?”

  She shook her head once again.

  “Ah… and yet, you two have been courting formally for four fortnights. Ah… this would not do. Something must be done. You wish to hear him say those words?”

  She nodded, seemingly having lost her ability of speech.

  “Then, I shall help you, my dear. Within a fortnight, you would not only hear these words from Lord Sebastian Longcross, you shall also receive a grand and well-deserved proposal. Mark my words. You only need to do as I say.”

  As Liliana saw the mischievous twinkle in Evelyn’s eyes, she wondered whether to be worried- not in a bad way, for she knew Evelyn only meant well.

  So, she too soon found herself smiling, as she listened attentively to the older woman’s instructions.

  By the time Sebastian returned her home that evening, Liliana was beyond grateful and glad, that she had left her worries behind and truly, enjoyed the day with the man who owned her heart.

  Chapter 27

  The next day, Lord Rothwell had to leave the house on an urgent business matter. Nora had an outing with a Lord who seemed to have gained her fancy. Liliana was left alone to her own devices and she welcomed the solitude.

  She reveled in it. She brought out her box from under her bed, where she kept her special things, eager to get started on something new for the day. Perhaps, she would try her hand at writing, as Sebastian had suggested.

  Oh, Sebastian! The thought of him put a thrill in her heart. And when she remembered the scheme Evelyn had devised for her, she giggled mischievously. It was very harmless, but also very interesting.

  Sebastian had no inkling what was coming for him and he might not understand until it was too late.

  Truly, Liliana did not care so much for a proposal. She simply wanted Sebastian to confess his feelings. If only she knew without a doubt in her heart that he loved her, then, she would wait a hundred years until he asked her to be his wife.

  Yes, she would! She giggled again, the happiness in her, bubbly.

  As the chest came open, she began to sort through, searching for whatever would tickle her interest. She had been going for an old book she had never written in, a gift from her father, but she never found it.

  She saw the scarf instead… her mother’s scarf. The one she had found in the attic. It called to her, and as she reached out to hold it, an onslaught of memories buried her deep within her mind.

  Nostalgic feelings overwhelmed her and she rubbed her face against the smooth silk.

  Oh, how much she missed them.

  Since meeting Sebastian, the pain had seemed to dull a little. Yet, on days like this, she wished she could lay on her mother’s laps, while her hair got stroked ever so tenderly, the way only a mother ever could.

  She wished she could sit with her father under the moonlight and tell them both everything. Of this man who made her understand what love was, and made life so much better, just by being.

  She wished she could tell father she had found a man just like the one he had always prayed for, on her behalf. The kind of man he would have given his blessings with no hesitations.

  A tear threatened to spill but she held them back. Not today. Today would be a lovely day.

  Just then, she remembered the chest in the attic, and what other treasures laid undiscovered. She remembered the letters. Her father’s letters. She had never gotten the chance to read them.

  Indeed, she had planned on returning after the encounter with Lord Rothwell, but somehow, she had not.

  Now that everyone who mattered was away, perhaps, it was time to return.

  Not thinking too much of it, she closed her box, returned it to its place underneath her bed, and began her journey to the attic.

  The climb was not easier than the first, but she had anticipated the strain. She reached in one piece and after a good look around, realized that the attic had been cleaned out and everything rearranged.

  There was not one speck of dust. None at all. Stepfather must have ordered that it be cleaned after the last visit. For her?

  She shook her head, most likely not.

  She took another look around. That was when she realized that the chest was not in sight. For some reason, panic seized her, but she willed herself to be calm.

  It was just a box. Surely, it could not have been removed from the attic? For what reason? On to what end? Was there something in the chest that had to be hidden. If so, what was it?

  Curiosity piqued, she set to search for the chest. If it had simply been kept in another location in this room, after the cleaning, she would find it. As long as it remained here.

  She got to work and after a while, her search yielded results. She found the chest, sitting on a pile of books, in one of the old wooden closets.

  She pulled it out, grimacing as she did, for it weighed a ton. She hadn’t known it would be so heavy. Now that she had it out in the open, right in front of the window where rays from the sun streamed in through, she settled down.

  The lock was apparently damaged, so she only needed to pull the lid away. The contents of the chest laid bare before her, and her hands went for the letters. They were so many and all thankfully written in plain language.

  There were letters from her father to Rothwell, apparently, and from her mother to Rothwell, as well.

  Awe filled Liliana at this new revelation. The dates on the letters showed that this was some months before her father’s death. Long before her mother decided to marry Rothwell after her mourning period was over.

  It was all becoming very confusing. Liliana had never known of the friendship between her father and Rothwell. In fact, they had been led to believe that Rothwell had only come in contact with her family, after her father’s death.

  Liliana no longer knew what was what. Nevertheless, she was certain that whatever Nora and herself had been led to believe, it had been a purposeful deceit, a lie of omission.

  Why? Why had her mother and Rothwell kept this alliance to her father a secret?

  Her head began to spill, but she knew she could not afford that now, as she needed to be in her right health, to read these letters.

  Willing herself to be at p
eace, she picked the first letter and got to reading.

  They were filled with words she could read, but meanings she could not understand. The more she read, the more confused she grew.

  Until… until she found a fresh set of letters, which were closer to the dates her father died.

  Rothwell,

  I am writing again, as I intent on settling this amicably. For months now, I have respected the friendship we once shared and refrained from challenging you to a duel.