"Mrs. Tousey, are you okay?"
“Oh yeah, I'm fine,” Aurora said. “I'm just overwhelmed with all of the work I have to do today." She sat back down and pretended to type something on her keyboard.
There was an awkward silence and Tiffany looked at her while tilting her head.
“Why are you giving me that look?”
“Well,” Tiffany said. “I know you are not busy on Wednes –”
“Please,” Aurora cut her off. “Please, next time knock before you come in. There is a reason why I chose the shades.” Tiffany started to walk out the door.
“Wait, Tiffany… I am sorry. It’s just…. Never mind.” Aurora signaled with her hand for Tiffany to leave.
Tiffany opened the door and signaled for Gannon to come in.
Gannon came in walking with his head down and lightly closed the door behind him. I wonder where he went last night. She wanted to have time to organize her thoughts to decide what to do next. She wanted time to heal and never see him again, but Gannon would never let her think after a fight. She could hear his nagging voice in her head: You are worthless. No one will ever be with you. I am the reason you are successful. That time, she ignored the thoughts.
She started to breathe heavily as she saw his arms, which were full of yellow roses. You have got to be kidding me.
“Rora,” he said as he put out his hand to try to touch her. She pulled away.
“Gannon, you know I am allergic to flowers.”
“Oh, I forgot.” Why is it that he never remembers anything about me?
“Gannon, how could you forget? We have been together for years.”
Gannon set the flowers on Aurora’s desk. Aurora inhaled a large breath of air while turning her head away from the flowers.
Gannon ruffled his fingers through his hair with his nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw. One of the nostrils was slightly larger than the other and it drove Aurora crazy. Aurora could feel sweat accumulating everywhere on her body as she grew angrier.
“Rora, I was so drunk last night,” Gannon said, his cheeks flushed. “I thought she was you.” She looked at him and rolled her eyes. Really? You have been with me for how many years and you thought she was me? Aurora thought.
With angst, she continued, ignoring what Gannon had said completely: “Gannon, why are you here?”
Tiffany knocked on the door and cracked it open. “Is everything okay, Mrs. Tousey?”
“She is fine,” he said, as he always said when someone suspected her of being abused, upset, or depressed. Aurora’s eyes grew wide at Tiffany. Then she flashed a fake smile at Tiffany through the crack of the door.
“Here.” Aurora grabbed the flowers from her desk. “I got you some flowers for being such a great assistant.”
“Thank you!” Tiffany said as she smiled, staring at the roses.
Then Aurora closed the door.
Gannon began to pout and stepped towards Aurora. “I came to apologize.” He tried to grab her hand, but she slapped it away.
"You know I'm at work,” Aurora said. “I like to keep my personal life outside of work. Can you please leave?”
Looking frustrated, Gannon said, “Well, I guess so, but I….”
“I said ‘please,’ Gannon. Don’t make me ask again and call security. I don’t want to see you.” She clenched her jaw and ground her teeth. “And those flowers mean nothing to me.”
“Aurora, I am not giving up that easily.” Gannon looked deep into Aurora’s eyes. “It isn’t my fault for what happened.”
“Then whose is it?” Before Gannon got a word in, Aurora continued, “It must be my fault, huh? Just like when you... When you abuse me? That’s my fault, too.”
“Well.”
“Then Shazzy’s? Honestly, Gannon, get out of my office.” Aurora started to breathe heavily. “Get out of my life!”
Gannon stepped in to try to hug her. She pushed away.
“Get out before I call security or maybe even the police.”
“But Aur…” Gannon pleaded.
Aurora pushed him out of her office and shut the door. She put her back against the wall and took a deep breath.
She went to her desk, grabbed their wedding picture, and threw it in the trash.
Chapter 4
The following day, Aurora went to meet with her best friend, Tessa. Aurora had texted her that morning about meeting up, telling her friend that it was important. Tessa was in her senior year of dental school. Aurora stood on the lawn next to the brick building where Tessa’s class was. She leaned against an oak tree that seemed to tower over her small frame. She looked up as she heard a gust of wind ruffle the colorful leaves.
After ten minutes of Aurora waiting and kicking around leaves, Tessa came out of the building.
I am so nervous. What if she yells at me for just blacklisting her?
“Hey, Tessa,” Aurora said as she lowered her head.
“Aurora?” Tessa said. “Is everything okay? We haven't talked in forever. I thought Gannon didn’t want you to see me anymore.”
Tessa was blonde and walked with spunk in her step because she was a jock and ran track in high school. During their undergrad, Tessa always tried to get Aurora to run with her, but Aurora would always quit ten minutes in. Aurora preferred to bike if anything.
“I am sorry. I know we haven’t seen each other or talked in a while, but I...” Aurora started to choke on tears.
“I know you are not here to just tell me sorry,” Tessa said as she pulled Aurora in for a hug. “What’s wrong?”
“Gannon cheated on me,” Aurora said as she took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. “I caught Gannon with a woman the other night.”
“Oh, Rora,” Tessa said.
“I was wondering. Before you say I told you so…” Aurora said.
“I won’t say that.”
“Well, you know I hate asking for help. I paid for all of my college and expenses on my own and covered the expenses of my life with Gannon and never asked anyone for a dime.”
“Really?” Tessa said. “He paid nothing? That lazy ba – ”
“Tessa,” Aurora said. “I know I was so stupid to ever pay for anything for him. I am just asking you… Asking for your help.”
“Of course! What can I do?”
“I just need a place to stay. I can pay for rent. I will even stay on your couch. I just don’t know who to talk to about what happened. I can’t tell my family or any of my friends.”
“But you can tell your best friend,” Tessa said.
“Yes,” Aurora laughed as she shed happy tears. “My best friend…. I guess I have been so distant lately. Gannon just got so bad that I felt like I was in a hole I could not get out of.”
“It’s fine. I get it.” Does she really get it? I guess I won’t get into that now, Aurora thought.
“So, do you still live in the suburbs?”
“Yes,” Tessa said. “I still live an hour away, like I mentioned the last time we bumped into each other. I am working for a dentist now.”
“That’s a long commute, but that’s fine,” Aurora said. “I have been staying in a hotel the last few nights. You know, since I left my place. I just cannot stand to be alone anymore. I haven’t eaten anything in three days.”
“No problem,” Tessa said. “I would love to have you stay with me. It will be just like college again.”
When Aurora and Tessa met in college, they lived across the hall from one other. Aurora had needed help setting up her Wi-Fi. She asked Tessa for help in her own awkward way, but she usually tried to avoid small talk or introduce herself to people she didn’t know. Aurora could tell by Tessa’s mannerisms that she was the same way. They became friends after that, and would do everything together, like going to parties, eating, and studying.
“Thank you,” Aurora said.
“It’s okay. Pretend you never asked, and that I asked you.” Tessa said. “Is that all you wanted to say?”
“W
ell,” Aurora said in a silent voice. “No. Gannon was abusing me.”
“He was what?” Tessa stammered. Her voice began to attract the attention of onlookers.
“Such a horrible human being. Remember the summer of freshman year when I took a trip with you and Gannon to Chicago?” Tessa continued.
“Yes. I remember.” Aurora was standing stiff and tense.
“Well, I saw how Gannon was always poking fun at you or making you feel stupid. I hated that. That is probably why he hated me. I saw through his narcissistic personality by his always making excuses for you and me not to hang out.”
“He didn’t hate you,” Aurora said as she kicked some leaves on the ground. “But he didn’t like you either.”
“He did hate me then, and he still hates me.” Tessa rolled her eyes. “He had to, because no one just stops seeing their friends for no reason,” Tessa said. “I am sure he hated me because I saw through his crap. I never liked him. Who knows what he would say if he knew we were talking now.”
“He won’t,” Aurora said. “But you told me how he was before I married him. I just didn’t want to listen. I am sorry I let him get between us.”
“It’s fine. I am just happy you are not with him.”
“I am sure.”
“I am happy that you will be staying with me.”
“I am just glad you said yes.” Aurora took a deep breath and smiled as she relaxed her stance. “I was expecting the worst.”
“You always expect the worst, Rora.” Tessa smiled and let out a soft and comforting laugh. “Some things never change.”
--
Aurora went to her and Gannon’s apartment with Tessa after work the next day.
“I’m not going to miss this place,” Aurora said as she and Tessa walked into the living room. “It was like my own little hell here.”
“Funny thing is,” Tessa said, “this is the first time I am allowed in your place, and it is to pack your things.”
“Please, Tessa,” Aurora said. “You know I felt guilty about that every single day.”
“I know. I am just messing with you.”
Aurora looked at her wedding picture hanging on the wall.
“Wow,” Aurora said. “That is probably the last time I remember being happy.” Aurora pointed at herself in the photo.
In the photo, Aurora was wearing her dream wedding dress, which was an off-white lace dress, like the dress Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, had worn to marry Prince William. Aurora’s hair was up in a French twist and she was wearing a white lace veil. The ceremony was a picture-perfect fall wedding. They were at Gannon’s parents’ estate, The McMaster Plantation, just outside of Auburn, Alabama. It had a beautiful garden in it. Aurora was sickened when she thought it was probably built on the backs of slaves, but she never said anything about it though it bothered her deeply. The garden had been around since it was created in 1862 when Gannon's great-great-grandparents first purchased the land after coming to the United States from Ireland. In the photo, Gannon and Aurora were walking in the garden down the wedding aisle that was covered in white rose petals. The garden flourished with pink peonies, which were Gannon’s mother’s favorite flower.
“I doubt I will ever have a wedding like this again,” Aurora said. “Not like I ever want to again, anyway.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Tessa said as she got closer to the photo. “But wow. To think you were only twenty-one when you and Gannon got married.”
“Yup, and Gannon was twenty-three,” Aurora said. “Everyone said we were too young to get married, but we didn’t care. I just loved him so much, but it was only that Gannon didn’t want to lose me to my career.” Tears ran down Aurora’s face, and she wiped them away with her sweater sleeve.
“Aurora,” Tessa said as she tried to console Aurora.
“It is just that everything changed on the day I married him,” Aurora said. “Everything changed after I said ‘yes’.”
“It’s okay,” Tessa said. “It is done now.”
“I was just so stupid,” Aurora said as her cheeks grew red and her voice began to crack. “Giving up my dream of working at The New York Times for him.”
“Aurora,” Tessa said. “This is upsetting you. We don’t need to talk about it.”
“It is what it is,” Aurora said. “He literally ran to my gate and begged me not to leave. I mean, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was so young and naïve.”
“No, you were not,” Tessa said. “Do not blame yourself.”
“He didn’t even have a ring to propose with.”
“Aurora,” Tessa said as she touched Aurora’s arm, “there is no need to talk about this anymore. It is only making you upset and it is in the past now.”
“You’re right,” Aurora said. “Let’s start packing.”
Aurora stared at the couch where she and Gannon would sit and binge watch Netflix. All she could see was a vision of her friend and Gannon kissing. Aurora clenched her jaw and fists as she thought, I wonder how long Gannon and Shazzy have been doing this with one another.
Aurora and Tessa went to her office to pack up some of her things.
“Wow, Tessa,” Aurora said. “I will never forget the time he kicked my desk chair out from underneath me and bruised my whole left hip. It took months for that bruise to go away.”
“Aurora, I can’t believe I never knew.”
“I know it is uncomfortable to hear, but it happened,” Aurora said. “I still have photos of the bruises on my phone.”
“Why did you never show them to the police?”
“I don’t know.” If people only knew why it is just so hard to up and leave an abusive relationship.
“Well, you need to get yourself a lawyer,” Tessa said. “And when you do, as hurtful as it will be, show this to them.”
“Come here and look at my phone,” Aurora said. Aurora pulled up the picture that showed the bruise marks on her hip.
“Oh Aurora,” Tessa said as she put her hand to her mouth in awe.
In one photo, from another time, Aurora’s left forearm had a large purple mark from where Gannon had thrown her against a countertop.
“I only took them because I wanted to have proof if I ever had the courage to leave,” Aurora said. “And he would always threaten me that if I tried to tell anyone, he would tell everyone I am crazy and that I cheated on him. I just want proof of what he did to me.”
“Tessa, it was such a normal occurrence,” Aurora continued. “When one bruise would disappear on my body, a new bruise would form. It was like my body was a blank canvas he painted and colored with bruises.”
“I am so sorry,” Tessa said. “If I had known, I would have done everything I could to help prevent this.”
“It is not your fault,” Aurora said. “After every fight, I would just put a bandage on our relationship and hope it would heal itself, like my bruises and scars. But the scars on my heart never healed – they only grew more with time. And now look where I am. I made it out. Finally.”
Chapter 5
Aurora stepped on the scale in her bathroom and to her demise, she found out that she had lost fifteen pounds in two weeks after she decided to weigh herself.
Earlier that day, she had heard employees at her job talking about how she had lost so much weight in a short period of time. One of her tall blonde employees asked Aurora in her valley girl accent, “How have you lost weight so fast, Mrs. Aurora? What is your secret?” She touched Aurora’s arm. “Oh my God, you have to tell me your secret.”
Aurora just stared at her employee blankly. “Well, it is just working out and eating healthy.” Or not eating at all. “But hey, enough about me, you have a deadline, Jessica. So you should get back to work. As Aurora shut her office door, she muttered, I just can’t eat anything.
Aurora took her feet off the scale and set them on the cold, white mosaic tiles of Tessa’s bathroom floor. Tears started to roll down her face as she put her hand against the w
all to maintain her balance. She felt the ribs while rubbing over her shirt and lifted it up to look at herself in the mirror. She quickly pulled her shirt down and took a deep breath.
Aurora walked out of the bathroom to find Tessa cooking something in the kitchen.
“Let me make you some soup or something, Aurora,” Tessa said.
“No,” Aurora said. “The idea of food makes me sick.”
“I hate seeing you like this.”
“It’s fine. I will be fine. You eat what you want,” Aurora said as she looked for something in the fridge.
“This protein drink is all I can eat,” she said as she grabbed it out of the fridge, showing it to Tessa. “I can only drink the butter pecan one today.”
“That is not enough, Aurora!” Tessa hesitated. “At least try to drink a couple more a day.”
“I said, it’s fine!” Aurora said. “I will be fine. I manage to work still, so I will make it through.”
“Aurora, you are not fine,” Tessa said. “You are far from fine. You have to take care of yourself.”
“It’s easier said than done,” Aurora said.
“That is true. I mean, I don’t know how you feel or how to help,” Tessa said. “But taking care of yourself is quintessential to your surviving, and if you can’t do it, then I am not going to let you wither away and die on me.”
“It is not that serious.”
“Yes, it is!” Tessa exclaimed. “You are skin and bones. I know you see it when you look in the mirror. Aurora, you've got to try to eat something. Force yourself.”
“Come on, now,” Aurora said, startled.
“I’m sorry,” Tessa said. “I am just worried about you and I wish I knew the right thing to say or do to help you. You just came back into my life. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“Tessa, you won’t lose me.”
“Aurora, I just know that if you don’t gain any weight, I am going to take you to a hospital,” Tessa said. “Have you thought about seeing a therapist?”
“I don’t think I will be able to accept help from anyone,” Aurora said. “No one can help me at this point besides myself. I want to eat: I just can’t.”
After She Said Yes Page 2