“All right,” Jason said.
“So, where do you work?” Aurora said. “Somewhere around here?”
Jason said, “I actually work at the building right next door. It’s connected to the coffee shop.”
Aurora tried to keep the conversation going. “Oh, nice. So tell me, what exactly do you do at work?”
“Well, I analyze the policies of how children are handled in the court system and the laws surrounding it. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about me. Tell me about you. What do you like to do?”
Aurora took a sip of her coffee. “Well, I like to read and write. I am not all that exciting. I like to work out and play guitar.”
“Oh really? You play guitar? I have always wanted to date a musician.”
Aurora giggled. “Too bad I am not a musician. It is just a hobby. I am a writer who is working as a magazine editor. I am not a published author yet, but I hope I will have a book published someday.”
“Wow, Aurora. You have pretty big goals for a little person.” She loved how he said her name but didn’t like being called little.
Aurora pushed Jason’s arm in a flirtatious way. She teased him back by saying, “I’m only a few inches shorter than you, it seems. So….”
“Good point, but I was trying to flirt with you. I guess that didn’t work so well.”
I could tell he was flirting with me, but he must have been out of the game longer than I’ve been.
“No, it was cute.” Aurora started to blush, and her cheeks got red. She wore her emotions on her face.
“Not as cute as you.” Aurora wasn’t used to compliments.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, sly guy.” Though she really thought, keep the compliments coming.
Aurora looked down at the watch on her wrist. “I gotta go back to work now. Unfortunately, my office is not right next to here.”
“I had a nice time. So, would you like to meet again?” Jason asked. Aurora thought the date had gone well.
Well, why not? What do I have to lose? She said, “Yes, I’d like to. Just text me.”
Aurora left feeling confident – that feeling you have when you are finally comfortable in your own skin. However, she was worried about getting into anything serious. She was not yet divorced, and things were complicated with Melih. She thought that Jason was just what she needed. He didn’t seem complicated, but she wasn’t sure. She wondered how a guy of his stature and his success would not be married or have kids. She wondered if he had kids. She also thought there may be something wrong with him. Aurora fell asleep that night contemplating all of these questions she had.
Chapter 13
It was Saturday afternoon. Tessa and Aurora were doing their makeup together, like they always did when they got ready to go out somewhere. They had to allow almost two hours to get to where they were going because they were driving into the city. That day, it was extremely windy.
Aurora ran upstairs to ravage through her winter clothes. She yelled down stairs to Tessa, “Should I wear my gray yoga pants with some wool socks? Or should I wear jeans with long underwear underneath them?”
“Definitely wear the jeans with your thermal underwear. It is really windy out today.”
Tessa was sitting on the couch and watching the Food Network as she was straightening her hair with a comb and air dryer. Tessa yelled up the steps, “You are lucky I love you, Rora. You know I like to stay inside cuddled up in my Snuggie when it is this cold out.”
“I know! Thank youuu. I love you.” Aurora came down the steps and almost fell because she had her fuzzy socks on. “Tessa, don’t forget, you gotta see if this guy actually likes me tonight.”
Tessa looked at Aurora, “Yeah, I can do that. So, you are dating two guys now? You are one hot lady.” They both laughed.
“I wouldn’t say that.” Aurora sat on the sofa chair next to the couch and took a sip of her hot chocolate that was sitting on the end table. “Melih hasn’t even texted me or talked to me since we saw him at the club the night I introduced you both.”
“Just be careful, girl. You are still married.” Sometimes Tessa was tough with Aurora just because she didn’t want Aurora to get hurt again.
“You are right. I’ll be divorced in a couple of months. I just don’t want to let one of these guys go. You know, I am a hopeless romantic.”
Tessa was finished straightening her hair and unplugged the hairdryer. Tessa said, “I know, but sometimes you think with your emotions and heart. You don’t think with logic in these situations.” Aurora thought that comment was tough, but Tessa was right.
“You have a point. Tessa, I also want to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?”
Aurora said, “I want to start looking for a place. I can’t keep driving this far to work every day. You know I appreciate your letting me use your guest bedroom.”
“Aw, but I like having you as my roommate. I feel like we are in college together again, but I understand.”
“I just have to check with my lawyer first, to see if it’s okay to move in regards to my paperwork.”
“Just let me know. You can stay here as long as you need.”
--
The ride to the rink was windy, and Aurora found herself struggling to keep the car straight on the road. She had to keep a hard grip on the steering wheel. She was already a reckless driver. Her driving always drove Tessa nuts. When Tessa and Aurora arrived to the skating rink, Aurora wrapped her dark gray wool scarf around her face. She found it hard to open her car door because the wind was so strong. She opened the door and her stocking cap almost flew off. She barely had time to catch it before it blew away.
They walked into the ice-skating rink. Aurora was cold from the wind, her cheeks rosy. Her heart started to beat fast. I cannot stop thinking of him and the night at the club. The way his sweat smelled so sweet. I thought Jason would be enough to distract my mind. She looked around to see if Melih was there. I don’t know why I am so fixated on that night. I mean, maybe he was just being friendly, but he is so hot… Aurora walked with Tessa to the front desk to get their ice skates. It was right next to the concession stand, where kids, some in hockey gear, were running up to buy soda and candy. Their moms were chasing after them telling them no.
Aurora and Tessa sat on a bench right outside of the ice rink. Aurora set her skates next to the bench. Before sitting, she put her mittens that were made of old sweaters, on the plexiglass window, overlooking the rink. She tried to find Melih or any of her other friends. She took her phone out of her pocket to see if she had arrived early or late. She looked around one more time, then sat down. Aurora thought to herself, they are always late.
Tessa was ready to skate at this point and was getting impatient. She didn’t really want to be there anyway. “Aurora, I am going to get a coffee from the concession. Want anything?”
Aurora looked at her boots and kicked a dirty napkin she found on the floor. “Ahh, I will have a hot chocolate.” She pulled some cash out of her pocket and tried to give it to Tessa. “Here you go.”
Tessa refused the money. “No, it’s okay. I got this.” Tessa walked away to the concessions.
Aurora took the phone out of her pocket to call Zara.
“Hey, where are you guys?” Aurora said.
Zara answered her, “Hey. Vee are in da parking lot. Vee vill be in there in a second.”
“Okay, sounds good. See you soon.”
Aurora’s heart started to beat fast. He’s literally right outside. Tessa arrived back and handed Aurora her hot chocolate. “Here you go.”
Aurora took a sip and burned her tongue. “Ouch. I always burn my tongue!” She put her hand over her mouth. She briefly looked to the right and saw in her peripheral vision that her friends had walked in.
She saw Melih and she started to get butterflies in her stomach, and those butterflies slowly started to form into a knot, as if they were forming back into a cocoon. She remembered that Melih had never messaged or called her
. She then felt her cheeks turn red and her temples began to throb.
Zara saw Aurora and waved. She had on her black petticoat jacket that she was usually wearing with red lipstick and her gorgeous smile. She had short, wavy jet-black hair with bangs. Her emerald-like green eyes were accentuated by her beautifully shaped thick eyebrows.
“Hey guys!” Don’t look at him. Do not make eye contact! Though she didn't notice it, all of his attention was on her. Aurora looked at Tessa. “This is my friend Tessa.”
Pointing at her friends individually, Aurora said, “This is Dan, Sara, Zara, and M-m-melih.”
“Yes.” Tessa said. “We me…” Aurora nudged her to stop talking.
“Well.” Aurora said. “I guess we should put on our ice skates and skate, right?”
Aurora took a big gulp of her hot chocolate that had cooled down a lot. She thought as she sipped, You are so hot, I bet you he could warm this hot chocolate up by touching it. She rolled her eyes at herself.
Tessa scooted closer to Aurora and whispered in her ear, “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I am fine.” Aurora said more quietly, “Did you notice if he was looking at me?”
“Not looking, more like staring.” Aurora looked down and smiled.
Aurora looked at Melih through her peripheral vision as she bent forward to tighten the strings on her skates.
Aurora slowly got up to hang up her jacket, with her face toward the coat rack, facing the wall. She felt the hair prickle on the back of her neck, as she could feel Melih near her. Every time she heard him talk, her heart would melt like the snow in the spring. She stopped breathing for a moment as she felt Melih move past from behind her. She exhaled. She forgot that she was walking on skates, which felt more like stilts. She lost her balance and almost fell over.
Melih caught her.
It felt like electricity was running through her veins. Aurora took a deep breath, as her pupils grew small. For a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes and said nothing. To Aurora, it was like his eyes were a galaxy or a new planet that had never been discovered, until that moment. How have I not seen you like this before?
“You hawe to be easy on dose skates,” Melih said. “You should hawe good balance vhen you are valking.” Aurora was still staring into his eyes.
“Aurora is fine.” Tessa stood up and pulled up Aurora. “I got her.”
All of Aurora’s friends were looking at them. Aurora saw everyone staring and said, “I am fine. Thanks.”
Aurora held onto Tessa’s arms and walked through the doors onto the ice.
Aurora started off by holding onto the rail, barely able to hold herself up. She slowly went from holding onto the rail to skating.
She saw Tessa laughing as she held on to Dan’s muscular arm. Dan was very tall and strong. He used to be a running back for the Badgers football team. Aurora thought about Dan and Tessa: well, that escalated quickly. I guess they are hitting it off. Good for them. Aurora was happy to see that because Tessa was always working or engulfed in her studies. It was nice for her to let her hair down.
Zara came up on Aurora’s side, skating backwards. Aurora said, “Wow, Zara. Where did you learn to skate like that?”
“Aurora, my lapochka, my sweetie,” Zara said. “Everyone can skate in Russia.”
“Of course.”
“Hey, I saw Melih help catch you vhen you almost fell,” Zara said. “Are you all right?” Aurora’s mind went numb. “Are you all right, Rora? Is your ankle okay?”
“Oh yeah, I am fine. I wasn’t raised skating like you guys. It takes me a while to remember how to use these,” she said as she pointed at her skates.
“Ah duh, so how are you? Are you almost divorced?”
“I’m fine. I will be divorced in a couple of months.”
“Dat’s good.” Zara grabbed onto Aurora’s arm and looked her in the eyes. “We are sorry about what happened. We haven’t talked to Shazzy since. Not Gannon either, but I never liked him.”
Aurora had a flashback and saw Shazzy and Gannon on the couch. She was relieved that she didn’t feel anything about what Zara had said. “It is fine. I am over it.”
Zara looked shocked but smiled. “Vell, dat’s great.” She let go of Aurora’s arm. “Vell, I am going to skate now, Rora.” Zara skated away and Aurora felt a sigh of relief. The pressure is off again. Thank God.
Tessa and Dan skated up to Aurora. Tessa said, “How are you doing? Having a good time?”
“I am fine.” Aurora was holding onto the rail. “Enjoy yourselves.” Aurora smiled and quietly giggled as they skated away.
Aurora was skating again and Melih skated up quickly on her left. “Hey, Rora.”
“H-i-I, Melih.” Her face flushed with red. “Thanks for helping me back there.”
“No problem. It vas my pleasure.”
Aurora thought to herself as she clenched her jaw, well of course it was.
Melih grabbed Aurora’s hand and held it close to his heart.
Aurora looked into his eyes as he pulled her close. Then she realized that everyone could probably see them. She abruptly pulled her hand away. “What are you doing? Everyone can see us!”
Melih took a deep breath as he said, “Aurora.”
“Yes?” Aurora said.
“I told Gannon he was an idiot for doing what he did to you.”
Aurora started breathing heavily. “You have no idea what he did to me.” She now imagined Gannon hitting her and fell to the ice. She started to cry.
Aurora thought back to the one time that Gannon had punched her in the stomach and she fell to the floor and Gannon started laughing. The laugh had sounded like an evil villain and then she heard Melih in the distance saying, “Aurora, are you okay?”
Melih got to his knees. “Aurora, are you okay?” Aurora had a sigh of relief that it was only a flashback. Melih pushed Aurora’s hair away from her face. “I am sorry, Rora. I would have told you sooner, but I vanted to vait until I saw you in person. It vas eating me up inside. I couldn’t keep it a secret.”
Aurora sat up and pushed Melih away. “Can you let me catch my breath, please?” Aurora breathed for a few moments.
Melih sat back up, while straightening his posture. “Well of course.”
“Well, what if Gannon doesn’t go to the court date now?” Aurora raised her voice. “Did you think of that?” She started crying. “I cannot be married to that abusive man anymore.”
Melih said, “Abusive?”
Tessa arrived and said, “Rora, are you okay?” Aurora was crying and shook her head no. Tessa grabbed her hand to help her up. “All right then. Let's go home, Aurora.”
Aurora stuttered, “No, it’s fine.” Melih tried to help Aurora but Tessa pulled her closer, “It’s okay, I got her. Thanks.”
They skated away and got out of the rink. From a distance it looked like Melih wanted to chase her and make sure she was okay. Until that day at the rink, none of her friends besides Tessa had known about who Gannon really was.
Chapter 14
Aurora went back to work Monday feeling ill. She could not believe the breakdown she had at the ice skating rink. I feel sorry for how I reacted toward Melih…I just had no control over my body in that moment. It was foreign to me. How has this not happened before, or did it and I just didn’t realize what was happening to me?
Just when she thought she was getting better, Melih triggered her bad memories about how Gannon used to abuse her. I just cannot be tied to Gannon, but he will try as hard as he can to keep me.
She didn't realize what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was until the doctor at the hospital told her at one of her checkups that she may be suffering from PTSD, and he wanted her to relay her symptoms or any events that may have triggered a bad reaction during their next appointment. She wouldn't realize until the next appointment that that is what she was suffering from. She thought it was something that happened to people in the military.
Aurora could not eat or think the res
t of that weekend because she thought that there was nothing worse that could happen to her besides having to be stuck being married to Gannon. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she would do to herself if she could not leave Gannon. As long as we are married, he will have some sort of control over me.
Since Aurora was so stressed from all of the overthinking she had done over the weekend, she knew that she would have to get something out of the way on Monday. She wanted to start looking for a new place to live and needed to contact her lawyer.
I need to get my life together. No one except me will do it for me. She kept exhausting big bursts of air and growling at everything that went wrong.
“Tiffany, come in here.” Aurora said frantically from her desk at work Monday morning. “Please.”
Her assistant came in and closed the door behind her. “Is everything okay? How can I help you?”
Aurora didn’t realize that she was making such a scene by yelling out her office for Tiffany. Her anxiety was so bad that morning. “Well, I am fine.” Aurora cheeks were red and her hair was a frizzy mess. “Can you call my divorce attorney and schedule an appointment with him as soon as possible? If he can’t do a meeting, just have him call me.”
"Divorce attorney?"
"Yes," Aurora said as she pulled her lawyer's business card from her purse. "Go give him a call for me."
Tiffany went back to her desk and called Aurora’s attorney’s office. Aurora sat at her desk.
Why hasn’t Tiffany called through to me yet? Why isn’t he answering?
Several minutes later, Aurora jumped up and looked at Tiffany through her glass window. Tiffany looked at her in despair and shook her head no, signalling that she could not get the lawyer on the line.
Oh no… Now what am I going to do? Aurora opened her desk drawer, took out a Xanax, and gulped it down with a glass of water.
Aurora got up out of her desk chair and opened her door. She walked over to Tiffany’s desk. Aurora leaned forward with her elbows on Tiffany’s desk counter next to a jar of candy and moved close to Tiffany. She whispered, “You couldn’t get him on the line?”
After She Said Yes Page 7