Maybe safe was what she needed.
Chapter 17
Aurora got to Tessa’s place a few nights later, after she was done with work. She sat on the couch to watch the news and started to think that she felt bad about what had happened with Jason. She felt like she shouldn’t have pushed Jason out of her car so abruptly. He was probably just being nice, right? I don’t know a good guy if I see one right now. Aurora was upset Jason hadn’t messaged her or called her. My theory about him only wanting sex from me was accurate, or maybe he just sees me as damaged goods.
She wondered why a guy ten years older than she was, who was successful, handsome, and charming, wanted anything to do with her.
Maybe he only goes for vulnerable women… That is why he went for me in the first place. I am vulnerable, but I am not falling into a trap set up by a boy, again... But wait, Jason is a man. It must be different since he is not Gannon…. Oh crap, Aurora.
She was so upset that she messaged Jason about it.
Aurora: Hello, Jason. I was wondering why you haven’t messaged me to at least see how I was doing.
He never responded to her, and she regretted sending him that text because she felt needy.
Aurora waited for days for Jason to message her back, but he never responded to her text. She then called her best friend from high school to find out about Jason.
“Hey Cynthia, I cannot get ahold of Jason. Is everything okay with him?”
“Well, hello to you too.”
“Oh, sorry. Hey. How have you been?” Aurora said.
Cynthia said, “Fine…. And yeah, he is fine. He was up north last weekend.”
“Oh, well, he hasn’t messaged me. I wonder if something went wrong.”
“No, he was fine, but he dropped his phone in the lake. That is probably why he didn’t respond.”
Aurora said, “Well, did he get a new number?”
“He might have. Why don’t you message him on Facebook?”
“I deactivated my Facebook.” Aurora deactivated her Facebook every so often when she wanted to rid herself of drama and current events. Though in reality, she was really sick of seeing happy couples. It made her want to throw up.
“You guys didn’t have sex, right?”
“Oh my God! Really, Cynthia?” Aurora said. “No, you know I will only have sex when I am married to someone.” Cynthia should have known better than anyone that Aurora had saved her virginity for marriage because Aurora had prided herself on that in high school. Aurora’s virginity had meant everything to her, which is another reason she resented Gannon because he had been so eager to take it.
Cynthia replied, “Good, I am glad to see you haven’t changed.”
“You know me!” Aurora said. “So, how have you been?”
“Good. Just moved back with my parents for a while.”
Aurora responded, “What! Why is that?”
Cynthia said, “I got a job at our high school, as an English teacher.”
“Oh! That’s exciting! Congratulations.”
“I know I am not as successful as you, but it is still exciting.”
Yeah, I am successful, but I am divorced…. Well, almost divorced. How exciting. I don’t want anyone to be envious of me. No one wants to go through what I went through with Gannon.
Aurora said, “So, are you still writing?” Cynthia and Aurora became friends in high school because they both loved writing. Cynthia wrote poems and Aurora wrote short stories for fun.
“Yes I am. I am hoping to put together a bunch of my poems. I already have a few agents in mind.”
“Well, that’s exciting.”
Cynthia said, “I am not getting my hopes up, but I think it could be really good.”
“I hope someone publishes you. How about I do an article about you in our magazine? Tell your agent about that and maybe it will help.”
Cynthia said, “No, Rora. I want to do this on my own.” Like Aurora, Cynthia didn’t want to have to depend on anyone or feel like she owed anyone anything.
Aurora said, “Come on. I owe you one!”
“You owe me for what?” Cynthia said.
“You are going to get Jason’s number for me.”
Cynthia said, “Well, I still don’t know if I want your help.”
“Come on, Cynthia.”
“Fine Aurora. We have a deal. In the meantime, I’ll message the agents about the article and message you Jason’s number.”
Aurora said, “Thank you. And about the article, don’t mention it.”
--
Later that night, Zara called Aurora and asked her to come hang out at her place on the following Saturday night with Zara, Sara, and a couple of their friends. Aurora was sure that Melih would be there.
“I am sorry Zara. I cannot make it.”
“Vhat? Really, Aurora? Come on! On a Saturday night?” Zara said.
If only Zara knew I am just worried that it might be awkward between Melih and me.
“Come on, Aurora. You can’t lie to me,” Zara said. “Aurora? Vhere did you go?”
“I am here. Just thinking,” Aurora said.
Okay, since Dan and Tessa are hitting it off, Tessa would definitely go. So I guess if Tessa is there, she will be a good buffer and it will not be so bad.
Aurora heard Tessa in the back of her mind saying, “You better go, Aurora. I never have time to meet guys, so now I have this opportunity with Dan… I need you there.”
--
Two days later, Aurora pulled her cell phone out of her desk drawer during her lunch hour. She saw that Cynthia had sent her Jason’s number.
Should I message him now? No, I can’t. What about Melih? What about my divorce? What about looking too needy? You know what, forget it. What do I have to lose anymore?
Aurora: Hey Jason.
Jason: Hey. Who is this?
What? How many girls is he talking to that would say this to me? Then she remembered she was still married and wanted to hang out with Melih at the same time.
Aurora: It is Aurora… I was wondering why you haven’t messaged me?
Jason: Oh, hey! I am so glad you messaged me. How did you get my number?
Aurora: Your cousin Cynthia...
Jason: I am sorry I didn’t message you or try to contact you. I had to get a new phone.
Aurora: I figured since I wouldn’t have sex with you that you wouldn’t message me again…
Jason: Oh wow…
Jason: Just know that I am not like that. I knew you had to drive home still. So I wanted to make some coffee for you to take with. What I say is what you get. If I want something, I will tell you or ask you.
I guess I read into that too much… Like I do with everything. Aurora liked how straight forward he was. I feel like the bad guy now.
Jason: It’s fine. We can just pretend it never happened. Deal?
Aurora: Deal.
--
The next morning, Aurora arrived to work and saw two bouquets of flowers on her desk. They were not the ugly yellow roses like Gannon had brought her the day after he cheated on her. All she could think was, I am still married, and two people are sending me flowers. I know how this is going to make me look to everyone in the office.
Aurora was anxious because she was going to be looking at a couple of new houses within a few days, and the Valentine’s Day magazine special was about to come out.
Tiffany asked, like a kid on the playground when someone has a crush on them, “So, who are the flowers from, Mrs…Miss Tousey?”
Aurora said to Tiffany, “You didn’t look?” Aurora laughed. Aurora knew that Tiffany had always been nosy because Aurora was so closed about her life and never let anyone get to know her on a personal level. So, Tiffany tried to find out for herself.
Tiffany replied as she looked down at her computer and pretended to type something, “No, I didn’t.” Aurora didn’t believe she didn’t look at the cards before she got in. She gave Tiffany a peculiar look. “I really don’t know wh
om they are from.” Aurora assumed one was from Jason and the other must have been from Melih. She went into her office and shut her door. She ran to see the cards on the roses.
She looked at the first bouquet of red roses that were cut short and packed in a white box. She picked one up and felt the velvety rose petal. She then brought it to her nose to smell it. She sneezed and said, “Dang allergies.” She looked around the first bouquet for the card. There was no card on the first one. “Well, that is weird.”
She cracked open her office door and said to Tiffany, “Did both of these flowers have cards?”
Tiffany said, “No, only one did.”
“Ha! So you did look,” Aurora said.
“Ah, What… N-n-n-o,” Tiffany said as her cheeks grew red and her lip quivered.
Aurora laughed and closed the door.
Aurora went and looked at the second bouquet and around it for a card, again. She found it and took it off the plastic cardholder.
The first bouquet is because I am sorry for not contacting you the other night. The second bouquet is because you are gorgeous.
- Jason
Her face became flushed as she read the card. Though no one was around for her to feel shy, she still blushed. Since she usually didn’t keep flowers in her office, for some reason she wanted to keep those, though she would only keep them in her office them until the end of the day and have Tiffany put them on her own desk.
--
Two nights before Zara and Sara’s party, Aurora was lying in bed, reading her new Jane Austen novel. She heard her phone chime and picked it off of the mint colored nightstand next to her bed.
Melih: Hey Aurora… I hope you have been doing well.
Is he really messaging me? Finally? Her heart started to beat fast as she read the message several times. She started to daydream of the moment where they stared into each other eyes at the ice skating rink. It was as if time stopped. As if he was the person who would come save me after I was lost at sea.
Aurora didn’t respond until after staring at her phone for half of the morning. She thought of texting, I was fine until you messaged me or I was fine until you triggered what Gannon did to me. Aurora only wanted to say those things so she could look tough, but it just made her look mean.
But that isn’t me. I am not mean.
Aurora really knew that it was not his fault because no one knew until that point, besides Tessa or Aurora’s family, that Gannon was abusive. In reality, I am scared that I may really fall for him and be hurt again.
Aurora: I am fine…. Thank you for asking.
Melih: Well, I wanted to say sorry for what happened when we went ice skating. I had no idea what happened to you and I wanted to give you space. I didn’t know Gannon abused you… I hope I am not messaging you too late.
What is it with these guys and their space? The space you gave me, Melih, was like the distance between Earth and the Sun. The last thing I want is for you to give me space; I want you to console me.
She wanted him to tell her everything would be all right. She thought that if he really cared, he would have chased after her to make sure everything was all right and express his undying love for her. Due to her being a hopeless romantic, she often thought that all romances should be like the love stories you see in the movies, where one character is playing hard to get, while the other character is running after them. Then they both end up expressing their undying love for one another. She thought she might have unrealistic expectations, though with Gannon, she had set the bar pretty low.
Aurora: Everything is fine. Thank you for checking up on me…
Melih: I am bad with messaging. Would you like to meet for a coffee after work tomorrow?
What is the worst that could happen?
Aurora: I’ll check my schedule and get back to you in an hour or so.
Aurora knew she was free that night, but wanted to be coy. Every few minutes she was thinking about responding to him, but she wanted to drag him along by a thread, like he was doing to her heart. She messaged Melih an hour later.
Aurora: Okay, I can meet you tomorrow after work. Just text me the coffee shop and I will meet you there.
Melih: Okay. See you at Michelangelo’s at 6.
--
She could not stop thinking about Melih all day that day. She knew one thing, that if he told her how to feel, she would freak out. She was over men telling her how to feel.
Aurora walked into the coffee shop and was hit with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of milk frothing in the background. The coffee shop was full of hipsters and college students working on homework. Aurora noticed their awkward facial expressions and mannerisms that she mimicked as well. They must be here on their first date. Aurora felt her heart beat fast. Aurora looked down when she realized that Melih might see her. She went to the barista and didn’t look for Melih. She didn’t have to see him to know he was there. She could feel the electricity of his presence near her.
Aurora ordered a cappuccino and pulled out her money to pay and Melih came up from behind her and said to the barista, “I will pay for her drink.” Melih was wearing a gray cardigan sweater and dark green jeans.
Aurora turned around swiftly and said to Melih, “No, I can pay for myself. Thank you.”
Melih said, “No, please.” He gave the cash to the barista and told her to keep the change. “I invited you.”
He is killing me with kindness, I see… “Well, thank you for the drink, Melih.” Aurora said as she put her hair behind her ears.
“No problem,” he said with a big smile, as if he achieved breaking through her walls. “My father and my religion taught me to be generous. Even if it is something so small.”
He signaled to the table where he was sitting. Aurora followed him to the table and felt herself smile as she smelled his Chanel cologne. The smell gave her goose bumps down her spine. Don’t fall for his charm, she thought.
“Let’s go take a seat,” he said. He is not Gannon. He may be genuinely nice.
They sat down. Melih said, “So, how have you been?”
She thought to herself, I have been a nervous wreck and Gannon ruined my idea of love but otherwise, I have been great. Thanks. Aurora said, “I have been fine. Just staying busy with work.”
“Dat is good you are staying busy.”
The barista came with Aurora’s cappuccino in a white porcelain cup. The art of the foam mixed with the espresso made it look like a heart on top.
Aurora said, “Yeah.”
There was silence as they both realized this was the first time both of them had been alone together, even if it was in public. Both of them took drinks from their coffees. Aurora decided to speak first to break the silence. “So, why did you invite me here?” She was sure it was to clear the air before they saw each other on Saturday at Sara and Zara’s house.
“Vell, I vanted to see how you vere doing.” He took a deep breath. “I hawen’t stopped thinking about vhat you told me about Gannon.”
Why couldn't you have called or texted to tell me that then?
Aurora’s face went white as if they were talking about someone who had just died. Melih used his hand to push back his silky dark black hair. His fingers were long, and he had a few dark hairs on his knuckles.
“Oh. It is no problem. I have been fine.” Aurora took a drink of her coffee.
“Den you must be tough.”
“Yeah, something like that.” Aurora looked down and started dragging her index finger along the rim of the coffee cup. She knew that she had made it far since she had first found Gannon on that couch with Shazzy. Then saw a flash back of them on the couch and felt a bad taste in her mouth. She said out loud, “Just nasty.” She had meant to think that.
“Vhat’s nasty?”
“Oh nothing. Just remembering the lunch I had today.” Where is your filter, Aurora? she thought. “So, I talked to my lawyer about what would happen if Gannon didn’t come to court.”
Melih sa
t up straight and his temples started to pulse. He slightly stuck out his chest as the sound of Gannon’s name made him want to fight him. Melih said, “So, vhat did your lawyer say?”
“Well, basically if Gannon doesn’t show up, they will just proceed without him.”
Melih replied, “Vell, that’s good.”
“Yeah, I was worried about it. I thought I was going to have to be married to him forever.”
“That would be horrible,” Melih said. “Since vee are talking about your divorce, I vanted to say…. I am sorry.”
“Why? You are not divorcing me.” Aurora seemed confused.
“No, I am sorry about vhat he did to you.” He pushed his hair back again. Aurora thought that it might be something he did when he was nervous. She imagined herself putting her hand through his hair. Aurora, get ahold of yourself.
Melih continued, “I felt like I could have done something to prevent it or I could have stopped him.”
“No one could have stopped him, Melih. I didn’t even have the power to tell anyone. He manipulated me to complete silence.”
“I know, Aurora, but vee all saw how horribly he treated you. I alvays felt so bad for you. I just didn’t want to interfere. Da way I was raised, vee never put our noses in anyone else’s marriage. Vee all knew Gannon was spoiled growing up, but vee never knew how abusive he could have been.”
“It is okay, Melih. That is how the youngest child acts when they do not get their way.” Now that Aurora thought about it, she was annoyed that no one had spoken up if they saw him treating her badly.
Melih grabbed her hand now and started talking with more passion. His hands looked as soft as a freshly made bed. Melih said, “I am da youngest in my family and I am not like dat.” Aurora stared at his hand as it touched hers. Oh my God. His hand is touching mine. Their hands linked together. It felt like putty melting in her hands. Melih continued, “He is not a man. He is a boy.”
After She Said Yes Page 10