“I see it. Part of me wants to ride right by, but part of me had to see if anything of my pa is left.” Her words quavered at the end.
“We’ll circle with our party and then go look.”
By the time they were situated and they had unhitched the animals, many people had already left for the empty wagons.
“I feel as though they don’t have a right to be there. Look they are going through people’s things. They don’t even know who those things belonged to. Oh, Zander someone is pillaging my wagon.”
They hurried forward, and Zander called out to the two drovers in her wagon. They looked sheepish and left the wagon empty-handed.
A single shot had everyone standing still. “Back away, and there had better not be anything in your hands or pockets,” shouted Captain London. “You’re all behaving like a wake of buzzards.”
People had put what they wanted into piles for themselves. Zander could feel Tara’s rage building. He took her hand and gently squeezed it.
“Tara, please come and show me exactly what you saw happen,” Captain London called as he gestured for her to join him and his scout, Oscar. “Do you think you could walk me through it?”
“Wh-where are the bodies?”
“I had a group of trusted volunteers ride ahead of us and take care of it. I’ll show you where your pa is when we’re done.” He sighed. “At least I think it’s your pa. He had a leather bracelet around his wrist with the name Patrick Carmichael carved across it.”
She nodded as a feeling of numbness crept over her. “I made that for him for Christmas when I was only thirteen.”
Captain London’s mouth thinned until it was only a flat line as he nodded. “I’m sorry, Miss. Carmichael.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
She walked to one wagon. “It was here I saw the first man die.” She gestured to a distant field. “I was over there in the grass when I heard gunshots. The murderers didn’t make any type of cry they just attacked before people could reach for their rifles. Then panic started. Many tried to run, but they were caught. They used knives mostly. One man used a bow and arrow, but he was white. They were all white.” She walked on to another wagon.
“Mrs. Parsons was inside with her four children. There hadn’t been a sound from them but suddenly there was crying and screaming. Then it was silent again, but the canvas was covered in red. My pa was standing right here with a hatchet in one hand and his rifle in another. He’d always been good in a fight, but the person he was fighting didn’t kill him. Someone shot him in the back. There was such a look of shock on his face. I could see it, even from far away. The last to die, I think, was the wagon master. They kept yelling at him to tell them the truth, and the man on the roan horse shot him in the head.”
She stared dry-eyed into the distance. “They went through the wagons like I said, and they left, but they came back. I was still lying in the tall grass when they came back. I thought for sure they knew I was alive. I was both wise and a coward that day.”
Zander turned her toward him and pulled her against his body, putting her head on his shoulder. He hadn’t realized she was taller than most. He felt the heat from the stares of the others on him, but he didn’t care. He had a feeling she’d had little comforting in her life.
“Thank you, Tara. Which wagon is yours?”
She pointed it out.
“Come I’ll show you the grave.” The captain turned to Oscar. “Don’t allow anyone in the wagons until after Tara has a chance to take what she wants first and tell them to get rid of those ridiculous piles. I won’t have her intimidated into not taking something that she wants.”
He walked to a space near the forest.
“Someone carved his name on a cross. There are still good people in this world.” She kneeled down and bowed her head in prayer.
Zander heard a lot of griping about how long she was taking. He needed to stay calm and not let his temper show. It was hard to rein himself in but he did it. Though he glared at the more vocal people.
Tara began to stand and Zander helped her up. “Captain, I believe it would be more respectful for Tara to go through the wagons without an audience.”
“I concur! Everyone back to their wagons!”
The grumbling was loud as people walked back to the wagons.
“Thank you, Captain. Zander, would you come with me?”
Both men nodded.
Her heart was heavy as she approached her wagon. She didn’t expect much to be there. It looked to be in good shape, though. She stopped short and stared at it. Then she took a few steps and vaulted into the wagon. It was a bit of a mess and it had an odor of rotting food but she didn’t see anything missing, except for her pa. His pipe lay on the floor and she picked it up, smelling it. She could see him sitting by the fire smoking and the memory both gave her joy and heartbreak. She put it in her pocket.
“If we can get the rotten food out, I’d like to drive my own wagon. I’d need some oxen but I can pay…” She looked for a secret drawer at the bottom of the bench. She had to take out many tools to get to it. Please God, let it still be here.
She opened the drawer and then sat down and cried.
“Tara it’s fine. We might be able to work something out with Harrison. He has extra oxen with him, and I have my wages.”
Tara smiled through her tears. “You are so sweet. You don’t even know you offered me your future. All the money is there. My pa and I didn’t need to spend much money, but we’d made plenty. There were a lot of trappers in the group.” Shaking her head, she gulped in some air. “Maybe that was what they were after. I bet there is a fortune to be had inside these wagons. Come on, I’m supposed to go from wagon to wagon and see what I want.”
By the time she was done, she had enough money to be one of the richest in Oregon. She also took supplies and things for the women who had been so kind to her. She hoarded all yarn, yard goods and anything else they could use to make things. Even though there weren’t many women, there was a surprising amount of yarn, material, flour sacks and needles. She also took some extra pots, pans, quilts and candles. The best treasure was the amount of clean buckskins she gathered. To anyone else it looked as though she hardly took a thing but she had all she needed and more.
“Tell the captain the rest can come. I will clean my wagon out and then talk to Harrison about the oxen. I bet they have more at Fort Hall. Just imagine, Zander, I have the means to make a future for myself.”
“Are you going to build a big house?”
She shook her head. “No, I have no need for big or grand. I want a log house a little bigger than we had and maybe a water pump.”
Warmth stole over her as she watched him walk away. She knew he wanted to be a bachelor, and she respected his wishes. And maybe he would find the right woman someday. Maybe he’d bump into his intended on the wooden walk or in a store. She had picked up bits and pieces about his life in Ireland. He’d been on his own when he was far too young. It sounded like a hard life.
She would ease his burden of looking out for her. She gathered her strength and cleaned the wagon out. She couldn’t watch as the others grabbed whatever they could find. Things shouldn’t go to waste but there had to be a more civilized way.
She scrubbed the inside of the wagon, and the foul smell left. She felt him behind her but she didn’t turn. She didn’t want him to think he wasn’t able to surprise her. It made her smile.
“Tara?”
She turned, and there was his big smile. He was made for smiling. He had dimples and deep smile lines on his face. Looking at him you’d never know he’d ever been sad.
She saw he clutched her father’s rifle and hatchet in his hands. She took them both and stared at them. She caressed the rifle. It had been her father’s constant companion. After touching every inch she examined the hatchet. Her father was as skilled as any warrior in a fight. She never needed to feel fear when her father was near.
Her eyes pooled as her gaze met Z
ander’s. “I thank you. You have no idea what having his weapons mean to me. I also thank you or making that fine marker for his grave. You’re one of the best men I know Zander Kennedy. I’m proud to be your friend. If you ever need help I’d be more than glad to help you.”
She held out her hand out to shake his. He always made her heart beat faster when they touched. “Friends for life.”
“Sure, friends for life.”
“I bet the others will be glad I have my own wagon.”
Zander nodded. “Especially Dawn and Heath. Dawn often needs a place to by herself and the tent isn’t set until late in the day. She and Heath are still trying to find their way.”
“She’s a very brave woman. What way are they trying to find?”
Zander turned a dark shade of crimson. “The married way.”
She stared at him, waiting for more information.
“I’m not sure how to say this. Dawn would like a child, but she hasn’t allowed Heath to—”
“You can stop right there. I know little about married folks.”
“She usually sleeps in Cora’s wagon. Though she spends time with Heath.”
Tara sat down on a trunk. “I’m so uneducated. I should have known. I never know what to say to the women. I want to be friends with them but I don’t know much about friendship. I do know that putting another in a position they don’t want to be is not being a friend.” Her heart sank. How did people make others like them? She never knew what to say, and she felt awkward.
“Could you guard my things for a few minutes? I want to talk to Harrison.”
“Sure, but I doubt anyone will touch anything. If you’re finished cleaning your wagon, I’ll put your trunks and things inside.”
“I wasn’t looking for help. I’ll be right back.” Why did he always want to do things for her? Maybe because all his friends were married, and he saw them doing for their wives.
She found Dawn sitting in the wagon's shade reading. Tara took a deep breath; she needed to apologize.
“Mind if I sit with you?”
Dawn smiled at her. “Sure. It’s nice and quiet here. It seems everyone is rummaging through the empty wagons.”
Tara sat down. “I need to say something to you, and I’ll let you know right off that I don’t know how to be a friend. All I had was my Pa and once in a while some of his trapper friends. I know little about being a lady either. My ma died when I was seven, but she taught me what she could. What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry you and Heath aren’t making children. I’ve been in your way and in your wagon. Forgive me?”
Dawn opened her mouth and then shut it again. She looked mad then she laughed. “Tara, you are a breath of fresh air. You know how to care for those around you. That’s what makes you a good friend. I consider us friends, and I know Cora and Luella feel the same way. Sometimes it takes time to feel comfortable with someone. You just need to give the other person a chance.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my, you might have given me a solution to my problem.”
Tara smiled. “Glad to help. I need to talk to Harrison about some oxen.” She stood and brushed the back of her pants to remove the dirt. “See ya later.”
She found Harrison crouched by the rear wheel on his wagon. He smiled a greeting as he stood and faced her.
“I…have my wagon, what was mine and Pa’s…and…”
“You need a yoke of oxen?” he asked as she wrestled with the words.
“Y-yes, sir, I do. I can pay a fair price.”
He studied her for a piece, and she squared her shoulders, determined to pass muster. After a bit, he nodded. “I can help you. Let’s talk terms while I show you my stock. It’s been a rough go, but Zander, Heath, and Declan have done a fine job minding my animals.
Less than an hour later, they’d hammered out a deal for the oxen. Feeling on top of the world, she ran to her wagon to tell Zander. She found him standing by the oxen, checking the yoke and reins. A twig snapped beneath her foot, and he whirled, his expression the same that her father had worn before he exploded.
“Zander?”
“You’re right, you are awkward. You go and tell Dawn what I told you? Heath was just here and he was mad because of my big mouth.” He kicked at the ground, raising puffs of dust. “I’m glad I now know not to tell you anything. I feel like I’ve been hit in the head. I didn’t see you as a carrier of tales. I thought you to be trustworthy.” He stormed off, leaving her in his wake.
What just happened? Glancing around, she discovered everyone staring at her. Somehow she’d made one friend happy and another furious. Her stomach knotted, and she keenly felt the loss of Zander’s friendship.
At a loss, she wandered over to the graves again and sat at her pa’s marker.
“I’m not sure what to do, Pa. I must be a stupid fool, but I’m not sure why.” Tears welled. “Oh, Pa, why did you have to leave me? I’m not prepared for life off the mountain. I thought I had made a dear friend, but he blew up at me. It hurts, Pa, his thoughts were important to me.
Silence settled around her except for the buzz of nearby insects. Her pa once would have offered sage advice… A sigh slipped out, and she swiped the backs of her hands over her eyes, drying the tears before they spilled over.
“Don’t you worry none, Pa. I’ll be just fine. You raised me to know how to take care of myself, and that’s exactly what I will do. With the Lord’s help I’ll be in Oregon. I don’t really know why we were going there. You aren’t a farmer. I can only guess you wanted to raise cattle. Whatever I end up doing, I will make you proud of me. We’ll be moving on in the morning, and I won’t be back to visit, Pa. I will think about you every day. I know we never were ones for carin’ words, but Pa, I love you.” She looked up into the sky and then patted the earth where her father was buried.
She got up and rounded up the oxen Harrison had sold her. Then she yoked them. Once hitched to the wagon she was tempted mightily to go on her own, but that would be courtin’ death. She drove the cattle near the wagon circle. There wasn’t a space for her, but there would be. She took care of the oxen and then made a fire for herself. She could make flat bread and at the next stop she’d hunt.
While the bread baked, she filled her water barrel. She was not fond of the sulfur smell, but it didn’t make anyone sick. Then she put the gifts she had taken for her friends in the flour sacks and then put the sacks into pots. The bread smelled heavenly as she took it off the fire. It would cool as she dropped off the packages.
With her arms full she walked toward the wagon she used to use. She couldn’t wait for Cora, Luella and Dawn to see what she had. She never even got close. Zander saw her, stood and glared at her. He rattled her so that she hurried back to her own wagon. Her hands shook as she put the pots back into the wagon. Climbing in, she closed the tailgate behind her and cinched the canvas as tightly as possible. Her Bible was missing. It was odd, but perhaps other things would be noticed as time passed.
And it was fine. She knew most of the verses by heart.
Chapter Five
As he stood guard duty, he couldn’t help but watch Tara’s wagon. He was still mad but Dawn had set him right. She had a good point. “We can never walk in another’s shoes,” she’d said. He’d spent enough time with Tara to know she didn’t have a grasp of people. He should have made sure someone was sleeping under her wagon.
She ended up eating alone and had closed up her wagon very early. The strange thing was, Heath and Dawn smiled at each other and Heath touched her every chance he got. She was, in fact, still in the tent with him. Now he was the one who owed an apology.
The sadness and disbelief and confusion on her face haunted him all night. He’d be relieved soon, and then he’d sleep under Tara’s wagon. He felt better just thinking about it. As soon as he was off duty, he grabbed his bedroll. He walked slowly and softly. He’d just situated his bedroll when someone sailed through the air and knocked him down.
He cursed under his breath. Why couldn’t there have
been a brighter moon? He fought back, surprised how strong the attacker was. Right before the knife plunged into him, he managed to roll them both so he was on top and straddling the miscreant. When he finally threw the knife and pinned the killer he took a breath and realized just how small the person was.
He saw the buckskins and groaned. “Tara?”
“Zander? Get off me! Get of me now! You are a low down snake—”
He put his hand over her mouth. “Shh. Someone is bound to come, and if they find us like this, it won’t be good for either of us.” He felt her relax and got off her.
She picked up the knife and grabbed his hand. Then she pushed him inside the wagon.
“What’s going on?” Chuck Klass demanded.
“The ghosts are upset all their things were taken.” She put her hands on her hips. “If needed, it was fine, but they’re upset with those who took just for gain.”
A strangled sound emerged from his throat. “Good night!” He ran back toward his wagon.
She climbed back into her wagon and put her hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter.
Zander did the same, then paused as a sliver of moonlight fell over her face. She was pretty when she laughed.
“I’m sorry I scared you, Tara. I thought someone should sleep under your wagon, and I felt awful about what I said to you. In fact, you made a difference in Dawn and Heath’s relationship. If you could have seen the way they looked at each other and Heath touched her every chance he got and she didn’t flinch.” He sighed, wishing she would say something, anything. “No matter the outcome I should never have treated you that way and I am really sorry. You’ve been through a lot and you don’t need me telling you what to do or chastising you.”
She sat down and clasped her hands in her lap while she stared at them. “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong. I think my best bet is to keep to myself. I’ll be just fine. I will see about buying a horse and paying someone to drive my wagon. It’ll give me plenty of time to hunt for food. I thought I’d be fearful in this wagon since I’m not in the circle, but I’m not scared.”
Tara's Trials (Romance on the Oregon Trail Book 4) Page 4