“Josie.” He took my right hand and held it in both of his, sending jolts of love and peace rocketing through me. “You are the most wonderful woman in the world. I admire everything about you. Your tender heart, your new love for God, your search for justice, your wisdom, the warrior in you. All of it, all of you. I admire all of you. And I want more.” His eyes were clear. As they stared into mine, I saw hope and a future.
And then, just as suddenly, a black wave of terror threatened to crush me. A dump truck sat on my chest. My pulse raced, and I wondered if Nick could hear it. I bowed my head.
God, I need you now! Please take my hand and lead me through this moment of fear and into Your glorious light. Here is this wonderful man declaring his love for me, and I need You to keep things straight, to show me Your ways, to let me know the right next step.
I lifted my head and looked at the man beside me. I breathed God into the moment. My heartbeat slowed, and my nerves settled to a dull roar. Perfect love casts out all fear. I smiled into those soft, brown eyes.
“Nick, I’ve loved you since forever, and I’ll love you ‘til the grave. As much as I love you, I have to say I love the God who made you more, and I am learning to seek to obey Him first before all others. And one thing I can tell you, I am a married woman. And until or unless that fact changes, there’s nothing more that can be done or said between us.”
My valiant attempt at putting God first and Nick a close second had not gone bone deep. My eyes were still speaking to him in love. I drew them away from the shining love I saw staring back at me and looked at our hands clasped together. Something on the inside of his right wrist caught my eye—a smudge of dirt?
“Relax, beautiful. I’m not saying I want to marry you… yet. I’m just saying I want to be the first in line when you’re ready to entertain the thought. I’ll leave the rest up to the man upstairs.” Nick drew my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His sleeve fell away, revealing an exquisitely shaped cross. I stared at it, frowning.
“Nick? Is that a tat?” I ran my index finger the length of it. When had he gotten inked again? And why?
He nodded, pulling his jacket up enough to show the rest of it. Something was written in tiny black script, but I couldn’t make it out. Numbers? An abbreviation maybe? I cocked an eyebrow at him.
“From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus. Galatians 6:17. Let’s just say Gino and I spent a little time on our knees at a chapel in a field recently.”
My heart raced again. Waves of joy cascaded over me. I wanted to skip around the room like a little kid. I bowed my head and thanked the God of the universe. Then, in my mind’s eye, I saw myself alone in a meadow. The sun went down around me, and the heavens opened up, and a beam of otherworldly light shone all around me, connecting me to God in all His glory. He was a shining light of power and love and every virtue packed into one Magnificent Being. I was a minor expression of Him, shining with a powerful light of my own, connected to Him with my heart and soul.
God reached down from heaven and took my hand in His. I looked up at Him in love and trust and awe. Next to Him stood another being of light and beauty and power and strength, also connected from the heart to His light and love.
The power and majesty of God shifted again, and the other being took shape as a man, lit brightly from within, standing beside Him. I couldn’t see his features, but I knew the other being was my Nick. Then the beautiful beings turned to face the future and walk together.
The vision faded and I opened my eyes. I tugged my hand free of Nick’s and spread my fingers out wide. My wedding band and engagement ring were still solidly in place. Nick took my hand, drew it to his mouth, and brushed his lips lightly against each finger. He paused on my ring finger. Then he bent it carefully, making the ring as prominent as possible. He studied the rings, and then he traced the faint trace of a bruise on the inside of my wrist with his finger. His finger trailed back up to my hand, and then he carefully bent the rest of my fingers until he’d formed my hand into a fist.
“I love you Josie. All of you. Josie the warrior, Josie the lover of small children, and now, Josie the woman of God. I don’t know what it all means, or where it will lead us. I don’t need to know that today. Having you, having your friendship, is enough for today. And tomorrow. After that, only God knows. And that’s enough for me.” He gently released my hand.
The glorious warmth of him radiated through me. I placed my hand lightly on the side of his face and nodded. Hope, sweet hope, glittered in his eyes like a beacon in the night.
I hope you enjoyed Cleansed by Death! I need to ask you a favor. Would you help others enjoy this book too?
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Thank you so much for reading Cleansed by Death and for spending time with me.
In gratitude,
Catherine Finger
Jo Oliver struggles with her faith. Gino serves as her spiritual mentor. What faith struggles do you experience? Who do you turn to when you need to work through your faith issues?
How does Jo Oliver cope with the pain of betrayal in her life? Do you think she works to avoiding feeling pain? What do you do to avoid feeling pain? What can you do to begin growing through that area of your life?
During her darkest moments, Josie is attacked by thoughts of suicide. In the midst of her battle, she feels God's presence, and experiences relief from her mental anguish. How did you react to this struggle? Where do you turn for help in your own life when things seem hopeless? Please know that no matter what you are going through, you are loved, and there is hope! Check out a few references at the end of the book for more information.
Part of Jo’s journey has to do with reconciliation with her past, and with her faith. What does she do to make peace with her past and what part does her faith play in this process?
Jo Oliver is a strong female leader in a man’s world. Does she face gender discrimination? What examples support your response?
Do you think the portrayal of Jo Oliver as a female police chief is realistic? Why or why not?
Jo Oliver’s struggle to become a mother to Samantha is a constant theme. What are some of her fears related to motherhood? How does she overcome them? Do these fears resonate with your own experience?
The tension between Jo and Nick ebbs and flows, as do Jo’s feelings toward him. Why do you think she is so ambivalent about his role in her life? How do you think she really feels about him? What do you think she really wants?
Have you ever felt extreme ambivalence in a relationship? How did you handle it?
9. Jo Oliver has built a strong network of caring friends who stand by her in the midst of difficult circumstances. What do you see her doing to nurture her relationships with others? What do you do to keep your own personal sense of community strong?
About faith:
Would you like to know God personally?
http://www.4laws.com/laws/englishkgp/default.htm
New Hope Christian Community - People, neighborhoods, communities and the world becoming who God designed them to be.
http://www.newhoperoundlake.com
About domestic abuse:
A
Safe Place - Transforming Lives After Domestic Abuse http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.thehotline.org/
800−799−7233
About suicide prevention:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
In the words of C.S. Lewis, I feel “lucky beyond my desserts” for the love and faithfulness of my family and friends who buoyed me through this magnificent journey. Special thanks to Margo and Joe, and Jodie and Carl for generating key character studies and ideas. More special thanks to my beautiful niece Catherine—a better writer by far—and to her equally beautiful sisters for sharing their delight with me along the way. Really special thanks to my warrior nephew, Dan, who taught me how to fight and which weapons to use for which battles—especially when you want to win.
My dear friend Erynn Newman kept one hand on my shoulder while sharing her supernatural encouragement and beta reading gifts, and I am grateful. Her constancy improved my work.
Thank you to my new friends at HopeSprings Books for strengthening my work, and sharing my passion for telling His truth through the power of story.
Like her heroine Police Chief Jo Oliver, Dr. Catherine Finger is committed to protect and serve. But instead of handcuffs and handguns, she uses her wit and wisdom as a high school superintendent in Grayslake, IL.
Learn more at CatherineFinger.com
Follow her on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/CatherineFingerAuthor/
Christian fiction from
HopeSprings Books
Women’s Fiction:
“The Sheep Walker’s Daughter” by Sydney Avey (and companion journal “The Wisdom of the Sheep Walker”)
Pairs a colorful immigrant history of loss, survival, and tough choices with one woman's search for spiritual identity and personal fulfillment. Dee's journey will take her through the Northern and Central California valleys of the 1950s and reach across the world to the obscure Basque region of Spain.
“The Lyre and the Lambs” by Sydney Avey
It's the Sixties. Modernity and tradition clash as two newlywed couples set up house together. Dee and her daughter Valerie move with their husbands into a modern glass house Valerie built in a proudly rural Los Altos, California, neighborhood. Then a body is found in the backyard and the life they are trying to build comes undone.
“Marriage Takes Three” by G.E. Hamlin
Darla Connor is struggling with whether to stay in her troubled marriage or walk away. Maintaining a long distance friendship with an old sweetheart isn't making the decision easier. Randall Connor wants to heal his broken marriage. When Darla rejects his ultimatum to sever ties with her old boyfriend, he's in for the battle of his life.
“Faith Departed” (‘Remnants’ series Book 1) by Elizabeth Maddrey
Starting a family was supposed to be easy. Twin sisters June and July (pronounced “Julie”) have never encountered an obstacle they couldn't overcome. Now married and successful, the next logical step is children. But as the couples struggle to conceive, each must reconcile the goodness of God with their present suffering.
“Hope Deferred” (‘Remnants’ series Book 2) by Elizabeth Maddrey
Can pursuit of a blessing become a curse? As one couple works with specialists to see how medicine can help them conceive, the other must fight to save their marriage. Will their deferred hope leave them heart sick, or start them on the path to the fulfillment of their dreams?
“Love Defined” (‘Remnants’ series Book 3) by Elizabeth Maddrey
With conflicting feelings on adoption, July and Gareth struggle to discover common ground in their marriage. Meanwhile, July's twin sister, June, and her husband, Toby, are navigating the uncertainties of adoption and the challenges of new parenthood. How much stretching can their relationships endure before they snap?
“Mrs. Covington’s Sunday School Dropouts” by Connie Miller Pease.
Cathy Covington has taught Sunday school to hundreds of young teens over the last forty years. After graduation, many of those students walked out the church door without a backward glance. Now Cathy is determined to see if a little nudge could push some of them back on the straight and narrow.
Contemporary Romance:
“Joint Venture” –Novella (‘Grant Us Grace’ series Book 0) by Elizabeth Maddrey
Laura Willis catches her fiancé cheating. Again. She throws her ring in his face and immerses herself in work at the salon. Laura’s coworker hairstylist, Matt Stephenson, invites Laura to partner with him in opening his own salon. Will this joint venture be more than either of them bargained for?
“Wisdom to Know” (‘Grant Us Grace’ series Book 1) by Elizabeth Maddrey
Lydia Brown has taken just about every wrong turn she could find. When an abortion leaves her overwhelmed by guilt, she turns to drugs to escape her pain. While Kevin McGregor works to convince himself and God that loving Lydia is a mistake, Lydia fears her sin may be too much for anyone to forgive.
“Courage to Change” (‘Grant Us Grace’ series Book 2) by Elizabeth Maddrey
When Phil Reid became a Christian and stopped drinking, his hard-partying wife, Brandi, divorced him. Reeling and betrayed, he becomes convinced Christians should never remarry. Allison Vasak has everything in her life under control, except her heart is irresistibly drawn to fellow attorney, Phil. Though she knows his history and believes that women should not initiate relationships, she longs to make her feelings known.
“Serenity to Accept” (‘Grant Us Grace’ series Book 3) by Elizabeth Maddrey
Karin Reid has never had much use for God. Until she meets Jason Garcia. After his own mistakes of the past, Jason is committed to dating only Christians. He decides to bend his rule for Karin, as long as she comes to church with him. As their friendship grows, both will have to decide if they’ll accept the path God has for them, even if it means losing each other.
Historical Romance:
“Watercolor Dreams” by Sherry Kyle
It's 1910 and Anna Lewis is praying to become a premier watercolor artist in Carmel, California. When a man strides down the beach, Anna sketches him into her painting. Was it a mistake? The minute Charles Jordan walks away, he regrets criticizing the woman's painting but he's just been jilted at the altar. How will a secret from Charles' past affect his chances of loving again? And how will Anna find hope when tragedy strikes and she must rely on the one man who crushed her spirit?
“Friends and Enemies” (Promise for Tomorrow, Book 1) by Terri Wangard.
In 1943, widowed seamstress Heidi Wetzel stumbles into a man she recognizes: a friend from her high school days in the United States, and the husband of her best friend Rachel. Aiding an enemy downed airman is punishable by execution, but she agrees to help. Then they are betrayed.
Romantic Suspense:
“Fiery Secrets” by Stephanie McCall
Dr. Grace Taylor, a driven pediatrician and single mom, needs divine intervention if she’s going to heal from the actions of her cheating, abusive ex-husband. But she never thought God would work through Chris Anderson, a tutor at the local learning center whose secrets keep him from opening up to her. Despite fears and distrust, love begins to take root. But their fiery secrets threaten to keep them apart.
Mystery:
“Not Guilty” (‘Windspree’ series, book 1) by Teresa Pollard and Candi Pullen
In 1974, Carrie Shepherd is a college senior with plans to be a missionary in Africa. Raped by a masked assailant, Carrie is so traumatized she tells no one until she realizes she's pregnant. Refusing to have an abortion, she must find the courage to face her family, her fiancé, her friends and a gossiping, angry congregation which may include her attacker.
“Not Ashamed” (‘Windspree’ series, book 2) by Teresa Pollard and Candi Pullen
Charity grew up as a missionary kid in Africa and is now a college freshman in America. Consume
d with shame that she was conceived in rape, she doesn't believe that her biological father has adequately paid for his crime. When she discovers a skeleton on the exact spot where her mother was attacked, she launches an investigation with her uncle, the Chief of Detectives. But can they catch the killer before he murders again?
Biblical Fiction:
“Tokens of Promise” by Teresa Pollard
Inspired by The Bible, Genesis 38, "Tokens of Promise" is an imagination of the love story of Judah and Tamar.
Rescued from disgrace by the handsome Judah, Tamar is already in love with the kind stranger. She eagerly followed Emi’s advice on how to win him. It almost worked. He’d promised. If only his servant hadn’t come at that moment, she’d be his wife now instead of going home with him to be his daughter-in-law. Why had her father agreed to this? Surely he could see her destiny was with Judah?
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