by Amanda Cain
I wanted to follow them and demand answers. I deserved answers! I deserved answers? I was as bad as her when it came to lying! Guess we both dodged a bullet. I pulled out of the parking lot.
I went back to the house and started to make some eggs and toast, slamming pots and pans around in the kitchen, too distracted to notice the noise I was making.
Melissa stood in the doorway, watching me.
“You okay, Dad?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
She looked like an adult, wise beyond her years. “No, you’re good,” she said.
I made everyone eggs and bacon. After breakfast, Melony and Melissa went to play and swim. “Don’t forget the sunscreen!” I yelled at them as they rushed out the door.
“What’s going on, Ryan?” Myla asked after the girls were gone.
“What do you mean, Sis?”
She sighed. “Are we going to dance around this? Emma. Tell me about Emma and what’s going on.”
“It doesn’t matter. Emma has moved on, and it’s just as well.”
“I know you …” She shook her head. “There is something here for you. You have feelings for her, so why are you so willing to call it over?”
“I don’t have a choice. How can I fight for her when I can’t give her a real commitment? My daughter is the most important thing in the world to me, and I won’t take any chances on losing her. I told you I talked to my attorney, and I’m screwed.”
“Lindsey’s been threatening you for years!” Myla fumed. “Do you really think she’d cut you off from seeing your daughter?”
“I do. When she decided we were moving to Chicago, I agreed to go but refused to continue to live in the same house with her. She hired an attorney and told me I would never see Melissa again.” I took a sip of coffee. “I bought the apartment in Chicago but had to stay at the house with Lindsey during the week. It was fucking crazy. It wasn’t until six months ago that she agreed to let me move out.”
“Maybe we can get her institutionalized for being batshit crazy.” Myla laughed. “When’s the last time you slept together?”
“Fourteen years ago.” I ran my hands through my hair.
“Shit, Ryan, are you kidding? I knew things were bad back then, but I didn’t realize …”
“Sis, the marriage has been bullshit from the beginning.”
“Why the fuck doesn’t she want a divorce?”
“I don’t know … spite? Fear? I wish she would get counseling. Maybe she blames me for ruining her life. I thought I was doing the right thing back then by marrying her.”
“I was just a kid, but I should have been a lot smarter about the money, the partying, and the women. Not that Lindsey cared about the women, but now it’s another weapon she can use against me. I asked you here so we could have some fun, not talk about Lindsey and Emma. Lindsey is Melissa’s mom, and she holds the power. I won’t let anything, including any feelings I may have had for Em, jeopardize my being able to be with my daughter. Besides, I think my judgment of Emma was off. Maybe she’s not the person I thought she was.”
Myla cleared her throat and nodded toward the door.
Melissa was standing in the doorway. “Can Mel and I have some water or lemonade?”
“Sure.” I poured two glasses of lemonade. She took the lemonade, and for a brief moment, I thought I recognized sadness in her eyes.
“I wonder how much of that she heard.”
“She is fourteen, and trust me, she is a lot smarter than you give her credit for.”
“Can we not talk about Lindsey or Emma and enjoy ourselves?”
“Whatever, Ryan, but for the record, I still think you’re making a mistake and being a pansy ass! I think Em could be good for you.”
Shaking my head, I said, “Well, it wouldn’t be the first big mistake I’ve ever made.”
Myla pointed her finger at me. “Yeah, and you didn’t listen to me back then, either.”
“Come on, let’s take the kids for a hike.” I kissed Myla on the cheek. “Go put your boots on, and I’ll round up the girls.”
We didn’t talk about Emma or Lindsey the rest of the week. Except for allowing the vision of Em with that jerk to torture me, I enjoyed my time with Myla and Mels. It had been too long.
Melissa and I still had one night together after Myla left. I sat on the deck, enjoying the evening, when my daughter came out and sat beside me.
“Dad?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Who is Emma?”
“What do you mean? What do you know about Emma?”
Melissa rolled her eyes. “I’m not a little girl, and I’m not stupid. The guy at the airport mentioned her, and you and Aunt Myla were talking about her. Do you love her?”
“I’m not sure what you heard, sweetheart, but Emma is someone Daddy knew and went out with a couple of times. It didn’t work out, and we went our separate ways. Nothing you need to be concerned about. And I don’t want to hear any more about it.”
Melissa twisted a strand of hair around her finger and, thankfully, changed the subject.
“It was fun seeing Aunt Myla and Mel. I’m glad they came.”
“It was, wasn’t it? I don’t get to spend enough time with Myla.”
“I wish I had a sister,” Melissa said.
“You do?” This was the first time Melissa talked about wanting a sibling. “But if you had a sister or a brother, I wouldn’t be able to spend all my free time spoiling you.” I joked, wrapping my arm around her and giving her a playful noogie.
We left for Chicago the next day. I dropped Melissa off at her mom’s. Sitting alone in my apartment, my frustration with Em grew. I couldn’t even fake it with Stacy’s mom, and she was dating some over muscled monkey.
I wanted Em so much, I needed to take her and make her mine again. She tried to call several times last week, but I couldn’t talk to her. I finally put her number on auto reject, afraid of what she was going to tell me or what I would say. But she hadn’t tried to call in days. I took her off auto reject and decided if she did call, I would at least listen to her.
I needed to find something, anything to get her off my mind. I went to the gym, which I had been doing more often. Jenna was leaving, and we almost bumped into each other walking through the door.
She looked up from her phone. “I’m sorry … oh hey, it’s you! I thought you didn’t work out here?”
“Occasionally, I like a change of scenery. Jenna, I’m sorry for my behavior a few weeks ago.”
“I understand. Is there someone else?”
“No … I mean yes. I’m sorry.” I sounded like an idiot.
Jenna smiled and shook her head. “Listen, Ryan, no complications, no strings, but if you ever just feel like being with someone, call me.” She turned and walked away, swaying her hips, knowing I was watching. How the fuck did Em move on so quickly? I had no desire to be with anyone else.
Unless I had to travel for work, I stayed in Chicago, so Melissa and I were together as much as possible. My daughter acted more and more like an adult, and it concerned me. We were giving her too much emotional responsibility for someone so young. I feared sometimes she thought she was the parent and Lindsey and I were the kids.
“Dad, you seem unhappy,” she said, one night as we were watching TV.
“What do you mean? I’m always happy when I’m with you.”
“What about you? Don’t you want someone in your life?”
“I have you. You are all I need.”
“No, Dad. You know … a woman, someone to love.”
“This sounds like a lot for a girl your age to be troubling herself with. Your dad is doing fine. I will find someone someday when the time is right.”
“You mean when I’m older?”
“Honey, where is this coming from?”
“I just want you to be happy, Dad.”
“As long I have you, I’m happy. Now off to bed with you.”
After she had go
ne to bed, I thought about calling Emma and picked up my phone. How could I have been so far off? I had believed she had real feelings for me. And all that time she was with another man? I put the phone back down.
I couldn’t have her, and I couldn’t forget her.
I dropped off Melissa at her mom’s for a few days and decided to take a short trip to Evergreen. It was still my house, and I still loved it there despite Emma.
Chapter 21
Emma
“Emma?” a young girl’s voice inquired.
“Yes, this is Emma. How can I help you?”
“I wonder … never mind, I’m sorry to have bothered you.” She hung up.
I opened my list of recent calls, planning to call the young girl back. I noticed the call came from a Chicago area code, and my heart began racing. I started pacing the floor. Could that have been one of Ryan’s daughters? Why would she call me?
I called Char. “What are you doing?”
“Laundry…” she laughed “…why, you wanna help?”
“Can you come over, now? I need you!”
She was at my door in ten minutes.
“What’s going on? You sounded awful over the phone,” she said, rushing through the door.
I poured wine for both of us. Charlotte checked her watch. “It’s a little early, but hey I’m in.”
She sat down on the kitchen stool. “Now, what’s wrong? I haven’t seen you this upset since Ryan. Oh crap! It’s Ryan. What now? You’re trembling!”
“I’m not sure. I got this phone call from a young girl. It came from a number with a Chicago area code.”
She held my hand. “Are you thinking it was one of Ryan’s girls? What did she say?”
“Nothing. She asked if my name was Emma. I said yes. She started to say something but hung up instead. I went to call her back but noticed the Chicago area code. Should I call her? I’m not even sure where Ryan lives—Chicago, Evergreen, or wherever—but his number has a Chicago area code.”
Char pursed her lips. “I hate to say this, but you should call Ryan. I think you need to tell him that one of his daughters might have called you.”
I sat at the kitchen island, looking at my friend, when my eyes drifted to the kitchen wall—the wall where Ryan first seduced me. I started crying.
Char put her arm around me. “I’m sorry. It sucks, but he needs to know.”
She was right. I dialed his number.
He didn’t answer.
I left a message. “Ryan, this isn’t easy, but I think you need to call me. It’s about your daughter.”
I couldn’t believe it had been an hour and no call back from Ryan. What was wrong with that asshole?
Char stayed with me as we made our way through a bottle of Moscato.
There was a knock on the door. We stared at each other. “No way, no way that could be Ryan.”
Charlotte went to the door. I sat frozen in my seat.
“Emma? I knew it! You were the woman I saw when I was with Dad in Evergreen!”
I came to the door and stood next to Char. Standing in the doorway was a beautiful young girl with wavy brown hair and brilliant green eyes, who was, beyond a doubt, Ryan’s daughter.
“Please come in,” I said.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“I’m Emma. What’s your name?”
“You’re Emma?” She turned to Charlotte. “Then who are you?”
“I’m Charlotte, Emma’s friend,” Char said, regaining her composure. “Why, don’t you come in and explain what’s going on?”
“My name is Melissa. I think you know my Dad, Ryan.”
I poured her a glass of lemonade and gave it to her with shaking hands. “Melissa, what is going on? Why are you here?”
“Does your dad know where you are?” Char added.
Melissa shook her head. “Please don’t tell him. At least let me explain first.”
She watched my trembling hand as she took the glass from me.
“I was right,” Melissa said, a satisfied look on her face.
“Right about what?” Char asked.
She pointed to me. “Emma … she loves my Dad.”
Had this poor girl traveled from Chicago or Evergreen? For what? To confront me, to tell me to leave her dad alone?
I felt like throwing up.
“Melissa, what makes you think I know your dad?”
She rolled eyes, and I recognized the same flicker in her eyes that Ryan often exhibited when he was excited or upset. “Do you love my Dad?”
“Melissa, where does he think you are?”
“At Mom’s. It’s her weekend.”
Mom’s weekend! Those words resonated in my soul. They were divorced! I began to relax a little. If she didn’t come here to accuse me of wrecking her home, why was she here? And why hadn’t Ryan told me about her?
“Where is your sister?” Charlotte asked.
“Sister? I don’t have a sister.”
“Who was that other girl you and your dad were with?”
“Melony? Oh, she’s my Aunt Myla’s daughter. Myla and Melony stayed with us at Dad’s for the week.”
Charlotte and I exchanged glances.
“Do you live there?” I asked.
“I wish, but no, we live in Chicago.”
“You never answered me …” Melissa continued, observing me. “Do you love my Dad?”
“Melissa, I care about him. He is a good man, but it is complicated.”
“Because of me?”
“Oh, sweetie, no, not because of you!”
“He’s been unhappy. I’ve never seen dad so sad. It is my fault. Because I’m not eighteen and he can’t be with you!” She started crying, and my heart ached for her.
“Melissa, what are you talking about?”
The phone rang. It was Ryan. About time! I grabbed my cell and walked out to the backyard.
“What’s going on? What does my daughter have to do with anything?” he yelled.
“Ryan, calm down! When I left you a message, two hours ago, it was because Melissa had called me. But now—”
“I was on a plane,” he cut me off. “She called you? How did she get your number? My cell! Dammit, I bet she went through my phone!”
Something I now wish I had done.
“Emma, I’m … I’m sorry. I will make sure she doesn’t bother you anymore.”
“Well, I don’t see how you are going to do that since she is here.”
“At your house?”
“Yes,” I replied curtly.
“I’m on my way.”
So he had been on his way to Denver, apparently not to see me. Randy and I were standing in the front yard when Ryan arrived.
“Ryan this is Ra—”
“Where is Melissa?” Ryan interrupted.
“Inside with Charlotte.”
He walked past me and into my house.
What was his problem? He acted like I did something wrong. Randy turned toward me and mouthed, “Asshole.”
I turned around and followed Ryan into my house.
He hugged Melissa pulling her close. “How did you get here?”
“Dad, I’m sorry. I took a plane and then a cab straight here. I used the credit card you gave me for emergencies.”
“Where was your mom? Never mind, I am just happy you’re okay. We will talk about this later. Did you bring anything with you?”
“Yes, my bag is in the living room.”
Char hopped up. “Come on, Melissa, I will help you get it.” Leaving Ryan and me alone in the kitchen.
Ryan was so cold, I didn’t understand.
“Don’t you think you owe me some kind of explanation?” I asked.
“Wow, Em!” He scowled. “I owe you? Hell, maybe I do. Yeah, I lied. But you knew I lied. You made the rules, and we agreed to them! At least I kept my end of our deal.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Melissa, we need to go!” Ryan hollered.
Melissa ca
me into the kitchen. “Thank you, Emma. I enjoyed meeting you,” she said politely.
He took Melissa’s hand and glared at me. “Sorry, we bothered you. It won’t happen again.” And they were out the door.
“He is so angry and distant. What’s his problem?”
Char stood there hugging me, trying to comfort me. “Who knows, Em, but it will be alright. Give it time.”
“If he’s divorced, why didn’t he tell me about Melissa? I don’t understand any of this.” I felt lost and exhausted.
Chapter 22
Ryan
I didn’t say a word to Melissa on the drive. I needed to calm down first. What if she’d been harmed or abducted? How long would it have been before someone knew she was missing? I didn’t want to scare her, but I needed to make her understand how dangerous what she just did was.
I couldn’t believe Emma, offering to introduce me to her new boyfriend? What the fuck? I wanted to punch the dude. I owed her? She told me she wanted to be monogamous and then started dating this buffoon. That’s cold!
Standing in Emma’s kitchen reminded me of our first night together. I wanted to back her against our wall and press my mouth against her lips, push her hair away from her beautiful face, and run my hand between her legs. I wanted to tell her how much I missed hearing her laugh, but I couldn’t. She wasn’t mine. I had to get out of there fast.
“Fuck!” I screamed. Forgetting Melissa was with me.
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “Please don’t be mad! I wanted to help. I thought if you made up with Emma you would be happy again.”
“Honey, don’t cry. We will figure this out.” I reached over and took her hand.
Back at the house, I fixed Melissa something to eat and tried to decide how to keep Lindsey from finding out about Melissa’s independent trip to Denver.
“Now, young lady, let’s talk. Do you have any idea how dangerous flying here by yourself and not telling anyone was? What if something happened to you? Your mother and I would have no idea where you were.”
“Stacy knew. But I understand, Daddy. I’m so sorry,” she said through her tears.
“It hurts me just to think about something bad happening to you. Promise me you will never do anything like this again.”
“I promise, Daddy. I’m sorry.”