"Yes, he does!" Jessica, in my body, insisted as we went through the school doors and outside.
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "Then how come he was putting the moves on Sumi?"
"He wasn't putting the moves on her," Jessica, in my body, insisted. "He was just being friendly."
Now that we were outside, I looked around the school yard for Dan and Sumi.
But they were gone.
"Oh, yeah," I said with a smirk. "He sure was being friendly. So friendly he took her and left without us."
Jessica, in my body, spun around, looking for them. "I don't believe it!"
Meanwhile, Josh looked at his watch. "I'm going home. It's time for lunch and I'm starved. You guys want to come?"
"I'll come," Andy said.
But my sister, in my body, had started marching down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. "Hey!" I shouted. "Where are you going?" "To town," Jessica replied without stopping.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why do you think, Jake?"
"Uh . . . you think that's where Dan and Sumi went?"
"Amazing deduction, Jake," my sister called back. "It's reassuring to know that my brain still works, even with you in my body."
I turned back to Josh and Andy. "I better go with her. I'll catch you guys later."
"What about getting back into your body?" Andy asked.
My sister rolled my eyes toward the sky. "Guess we'll have to wait until Monday morning."
"No, wait!" I said. "I read something when we were in school before. The choir's singing here tonight. We can come back then."
"But that means we have to spend the whole day in each other's bodies," Jessica said.
"It's better than spending the whole weekend," I replied.
Andy grinned. "Have fun today, babe."
"Very funny, Andy," I said, then ran down the sidewalk until I caught up with my sister in my body.
"I can't believe I'm going to be stuck in your body the whole day," she grumbled as she walked quickly toward town in my body.
"Hey, give it a rest already," I said. "Being stuck in your body is no picnic either."
A few moments later we got into town. Jessica stopped at the intersection of Main and North, the two busiest streets. She put my hands on my hips and looked around. "We better split up," she said. "I'll go down Main Street. You go up North Street."
"What should I do if I find them?" I asked.
"Stop it," Jessica, in my body, said.
"Stop what?"
"Stop biting my fingernails."
Startled, I pulled my sister's fingers away from her mouth. I hadn't been aware that I was biting them.
"I'm depending on you not to mess up my nails," Jessica said sternly. "Now we better look for Dan and Sumi. I don't want them getting too friendly."
Jessica turned and headed down Main Street looking in the windows of the shops.
"How am I supposed to keep them from getting too friendly?" I called after her.
"Use your imagination," she yelled back.
"But . . . "
Too late. My sister, in my body, strode away. I turned and started up North Street, checking out the shops, and wondering exactly how I was supposed to keep Dandy Dan from getting too friendly with Sumi. Since I was in Jessica's body, I figured I would be expected to do some girl kind of thing, like cry or claw Dan's eyeballs out of his head. But since I was really a guy inside a girl's body, I felt more inclined to do a guy kind of thing — like cry, claw his eyes out and break his nose.
"Oh, Jessica!" Without warning, someone grabbed my, I mean, Jessica's arm and yanked me into a store. It was Stacy Sloane! I looked around and felt a cold shiver run down my sister's spine. Stacy had just pulled me into a boutique called Scarcely Hers.
24
Scarcely Hers is this store that sells ladies clothes and swimsuits. In the window are mannequins wearing tight sweaters and skimpy skirts, or tiny bikinis. These things can't possibly do what clothes are supposed to do, namely:
1) Keep you warm.
2) Keep you covered up.
Normally, my friends and I walk past Scarcely Hers as fast as we can and avoid looking in the window (well, sometimes, if no one is around, we might peek in as we go past). But we never, ever stop. To stop and look in the window, even at night when no one else is around, means that you might be exposed to deadly Girl Rays. Scarcely Hers is a glowing nuclear reactor of girl stuff. It's practically fatal to boys.
And forget about going in. There is no way any self-respecting fourteen-year-old guy would even set foot in a place like that. You'd be instantly contaminated!
Your growth would probably be stunted. You'd definitely be scarred for life.
Now I was standing in Scarcely Hers with Stacy. We were surrounded by racks of women's swimsuits and clothes. The air was sweetly perfumed. New Age whale music was floating out of a couple of speakers on the walls. It was bad enough being in my sister's body. But being in her body and being in that store was total Girl Ray overload!
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
I was drowning in girl stuff!
"I'm so glad I found you," Stacy said.
"I have to go," I gasped. I lurched toward the door, but Stacy had my sister's arm in a vice grip.
"You can't go!" she cried, pulling me back. "Why not?" I asked.
"I need a fashion consultant."
"Then find one," I said, trying to pull free.
"But you're my fashion consultant," she said. "You always help me with a second opinion."
"If you need a second opinion, go to a doctor!"
Stacy held onto my sister's arm and grinned at me. "That's a good one, Jessica. By the way, I looked everywhere for Channel Four and couldn't find it."
"Huh?" I had no idea what she was talking about.
"You know, that place where you got your highlights done," she said. "By that Stu guy."
"Oh, yeah." Now I remembered what she was talking about. "Uh, it's out at the mall."
"Oh." Stacy nodded, then frowned. "Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to be going to the carnival with Dan?"
"That's why I have to leave right now. If I don't I'll be late." What I really had to do was get out of that store. Mr. Dirksen's machine had already turned me into a girl on the outside. Spending another minute in Scarcely Hers would probably turn me into a girl on the inside. I strained toward the door, but Stacy wouldn't let go of my sister's arm.
"But you can't go like that," she said.
I looked down and realized I was wearing the old baggy gray sweats Jessica had put on that morning.
"What time's your date?" Stacy asked.
"Uh . . . right now. That's why I have to go." I tried to leave again, but Stacy still had a firm grip on my, I mean, my sister's arm.
"I don't know what's gotten into you, Jessica," she said. "You can't go on a date with Dan looking like that. I won't let you. It's my duty as your friend to help you. Forget about my fashion problems, we have to do something about you."
Still holding my sister's arm tightly, Stacy started thumbing through the racks of short skirts and teeny blouses. Meanwhile, I could feel the Girl Rays permeating the outer layers of my sister's body, trying to get at me.
This was bad. Another five minutes in this place and I'd probably forget that I ever was a boy.
"That's really nice of you, Stacy," I gasped. "But I'm really short of money. I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back."
"I know you, Jessica," Stacy said. "You always pay back your debts. Besides, I still owe you for that sweater of yours I ruined."
"Wha . . . ?" I didn't know what she was talking about.
"The one my mom threw in the dryer and shrunk."
"That old rag?" I tried to play it down. "It was hardly worth a thing."
"Oh, stop it, Jessica," Stacy said. "It was brand-new. Not only that, but now I can finally pay you back for all the times you helped me pick out clothes. How about this?"
She pulled out a sk
impy skirt and a sort of semi see-through blouse. It practically glowed with red-hot Girl Rays!
"Oh, gosh!" I gasped. "I can't wear that!"
"Why not?" Stacy asked.
"You can almost see through it."
Stacy smiled. "No prob, Jess. We'll just make sure you wear a cute little bikini top underneath."
25
The next thing I knew, Stacy was nudging me toward the dressing rooms in the back of the store. A cute little bikini top? This was bad, really bad. Continued exposure to such high levels of Girl Rays had to be harmful to my health. Besides, Jessica and I had a deal. I wasn't allowed to look, and neither was she.
"Stacy, I can't. Really, I have to go."
"I know," Stacy said, holding up the skimpy skirt and see-through blouse. "That's why you have to try these on fast."
"Why can't I just wear what I'm wearing?" I asked.
"You're not serious." Stacy put the skirt and blouse in my sister's hands and pushed me into a changing room. She closed the door behind me. "Do you really think Dan wants to see you in baggy sweats?"
"Why should it matter?" I asked.
"Jessica, are you feeling all right?" Stacy asked on the other side of the dressing room door. "You don't sound like yourself."
"I'm a new me," I said and pushed on the door. But it wouldn't open.
"You may be a new you," Stacy said, "but believe me. Dan's still the same old Dan. He wants the girl he dates to look gorgeous. Stay here. I'm going to find you a bikini."
I looked around the dressing room. It was small and brightly lit. The side walls had big mirrors on them. The back wall had a wooden bench built into it. I looked down at the skirt and blouse Stacy had given me. No way, I thought. Forget it. I'm out of here.
I pushed open the dressing room door. But Stacy was standing there with a bikini made out of some kind of shiny silver material.
"Isn't this just perfect?" she asked, dumping the bikini in my sister's hands and pushing the dressing room door closed again. "Now hurry!"
This was turning into a nightmare. Not only was I stuck in my sister's body in a dressing room in the glowing center of the Girl Ray Universe, but now I was supposed to dress up in short tight clothes and a silver bikini!
"I just don't see why looks have to be so important," I said through the door.
"You're right, Jessica, they shouldn't be," Stacy agreed outside. "But they are and there's nothing we can do about it."
This was getting absurd. The last thing I wanted to do was look good for Dandy Dan. Frankly, given the choice between dating Dan or my dog, Lance, there was no choice. Lance won.
I put the clothes on the bench and pushed against the door.
It didn't budge.
"Forget it, Jessica," Stacy called from the other side. "I'm not letting you out until you put on those clothes."
"Are you serious?" I gasped.
"I'm doing this for your own good," Stacy said. "Someday you'll thank me."
26
The dressing room walls were only about six and a half feet high. Above that was four feet of open space before the ceiling. Suddenly I had an idea. There was one good thing about being stuck in my sister's body.
I was taller.
I stepped on the bench, reached up and grabbed the top of a side wall. Then I did a pull-up and got my sister's chin over the top. Now I could see down into the dressing room next to mine.
It was empty!
"I hope you're changing, Jessica," Stacy called from outside my dressing room. "You don't have much time, you know."
"I know," I called back. "Don't worry, I won't be long."
I slowly inched one leg over the top of the wall
and into the next dressing room. A moment later I was straddling the wall between the two dressing rooms. All I had to do was slip down into the second dressing room and . . .
The door to the second dressing room opened!
27
A big fat woman stepped into the dressing room, carrying an armful of dresses.
I held my breath.
She didn't see me straddling the wall above.
Now I had a choice. I could go back into my old dressing room, where Stacy wouldn't let me out until I'd changed into those absurd girl clothes. Or, I could deal with the BFW.
I quickly made my decision, and whispered, "Uh, excuse me."
The BFW turned and stared up at me. Her eyes bugged out and her mouth started to open.
I quickly pressed a finger to my sister's lips. "Shh!" Then I lowered myself into her dressing room.
The BFW watched me warily. "Who are you?" she whispered nervously. "What are you doing in here?"
In her arms was that pile of dresses. I got an idea. "I'm the fashion consultant."
She scowled. "Really?"
"Yes. My job is to help you select the right clothes. For instance." I pointed at a bright purple dress in the pile in her arms. "This one is all wrong for you."
The BFW's forehead wrinkled. "You think?" "Yes, it doesn't go with your natural coloring at all," I said.
"Really!?" The BFW's eyes widened.
"Yes, you strike me as being a very earthy person," I said. "You should stick with your ocean blues and your earth tone tans and browns."
"But what about this one?" The BFW pulled a large gray dress out of the pile. "This is one of my favorites."
"Well, yes, that's a good one for you," I said. "But it's not really earthy," she said.
"No, but it's, er . . . elephantine," I said. "Which is very close to earthy."
The BFW scowled.
"Why don't you try it on," I said, pulling the purple one out of her pile. "Meanwhile, I'll take this one back out."
"But do I really want to wear something that's elephantine?" the BFW asked.
"It's elephantine only in the best sense of the word," I assured her. Then, holding the purple dress up high like a shield, I left the dressing room.
If Stacy saw anything, it was only a large, bright purple dress coming out of the dressing room next to the one I was supposed to be in. Using it as camouflage, I carried it to the front of the store, then left it on a rack and slipped outside.
"Jake?" A familiar voice called to me. I turned and saw myself jogging down the sidewalk. A second later my sister, in my body, stopped in front of me.
"What were you doing in there?" Jessica pointed my finger at the window of Scarcely Hers.
"Stacy grabbed me," I explained. "She didn't think I was dressed right for your date with Dan."
"Hmmm, I didn't think of that." Jessica tugged on my earlobe. "She's right."
We started down the sidewalk. "Forget it," I said. "I'm not going back in there. The Girl Rays'll get me."
"Girl Rays?" Jessica scowled. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about not turning into any more of a girl than I already am," I said. "There is no way I'm wearing a short skirt or a see-through blouse. Just forget it. It's out of the question."
"I'm not saying you have to wear a see-through blouse," said my sister in my body. "But if you don't look nice, Dan's just going to get more interested in Sumi."
"Wait a minute." I stopped outside Vinny's Pizzeria and turned to her. "I thought you said Dan was only interested in Sumi as a friend."
"Well, I hope that's the case." Jessica bit my lip.
"It better be . . . " I didn't finish the sentence because of what I saw through the window of Vinny's. Inside, Dan and Sumi were sitting at the counter.
And Dan had his arm around her shoulder again!
28
you see what I see?" I asked. Jessica, in my body, stared through the window. "Why that — !" She yanked open the pizzeria door and I followed her in.
Inside, Dan had his arm around Sumi's shoulder while he showed her how to fold a slice of pizza the long way.
"See," he was saying. "You fold it like this so you can hold the crust. Then you start eating at the point."
My sister and I watched as Dan helpe
d Sumi guide the folded slice of pizza toward her mouth. Sumi giggled. Jessica, in my body, clenched and unclenched my fists.
"Ahem!" She cleared my throat loudly.
Dandy Dan looked over his shoulder. "What do you want, Jake?" Then he noticed me in my sister's body. His arm slid away from Sumi's shoulder. "Oh, uh, hi, Jessica, what are you doing here?"
"We thought you were going to wait for us back at school," said my sister in my body.
"I was, but Sumi said she was hungry," Dan explained.
"It's not his fault," Sumi said. "I was very hungry after that long trip. And I have always wanted to try American pizza."
"So how do you like it?" I asked.
Sumi smiled. "It really rots, Jessica."
My sister, in my body, turned to me. "Know what, Jessica? I think we should take Sumi home and show her an American house. I bet she'd really like that."
"Good idea," Dan said.
Jessica made a frown appear on my face. I could see she wasn't happy with the idea of Dan coming to our house with Sumi. She proceeded to twist my face into all sorts of strange looks. I got the message.
"Uh, I think it would be better if you didn't come," I said.
"Why not, Jessica?" Dan asked me.
"Uh . . . " Stuck for a reason, I glanced at my sister in my body. She mouthed something. It seemed like she was saying, "The door."
"The door," I said to Dan.
"The door?" He scowled. "Yeah, so?"
I glanced back at my sister, who was shaking my head furiously. Once again she mouthed some words.
"Oh!" Now I understood and turned to Dan. "I meant, the dog."
"What about it?" Dan asked.
Good question. I looked to my sister again. She bared my teeth, opened my mouth and snapped it shut.
"He bites," I said.
"Oh." Dan's pimply forehead creased. "Then, do you really think Sumi should go?"
"He doesn't bite girls," I said.
Dan turned to my sister in my body. "What about you, Jake? Does he bite you?"
"Oh, he wouldn't bite me," Jessica, in my body, replied. "But that's because I've known him since he was a puppy."
Help! I'm Trapped in My Sister's Body Page 5