Will there ever be relief?
Relief comes quickly when a man walks up to me and orders the men to unbind my hands. For a moment, it seems that I’ve never felt so happy. When I look up, I see the man that will do anything to stop Shadowface.
Jeremiah.
“I’m not a man that believes in divine providence, but this situation is particularly interesting,” Jeremiah says as he sits down across from me at a table. We are in a private room away from everyone else. No doubt he has a lot of questions for me, and I have a lot of questions for him.
“Why is that?” I ask.
He holds up a finger and smiles. “I’ll get to that in a minute,” he says. “First, I want to ask how you are. Where have you been? I assumed you were captured.”
“I was,” I said. “But first, did you know that Mitch is a traitor?”
“A fact I regrettably discovered, yes,” he says, looking down at the table. “He is still at large, I’m afraid.”
“What would you do if you caught him?” I ask. “He’s your son, right?”
“He is,” Jeremiah says. “Though I don’t know what I would do. I suppose he would try to fight me, and what would happen, would happen.”
“What would happen is that he would kill you,” I say. “He can control minds. He drank the Starborn blood.”
“I know all this,” Jeremiah says with a smile. “Mitch is a very powerful enemy now. But he is not our priority.” He clears his throat and leans his head to the side. “Please, tell me where you have been.”
I tell him everything. Anchorage. Shadowface being the woman, Olivia. The tests they ran on me and Amber. All of it. Well, all but the vision I saw of him and myself dying by Shadowface’s hand.
He stares at me with his big, drooping eyes, taking in all the information.
“I am fascinated by how you escaped,” he says. “The sewers…” He grinds his teeth together. “Do you think it would be a viable way of reentering Olivia’s compound?”
“I suppose, why?”
“You know why,” he says. “You must think of why I came to Elkhorn in the first place. I’ve been searching for a way to take Shadowface down. Now, I have a way.”
“I’m not so sure I want to be a part of it,” I say.
“Why is that?”
“Because of something Mitch said. He said that Olivia was his mother. And since you are his father, well, that means you’ve known who Shadowface is all along. It sounds to me like a personal war.”
Jeremiah shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “It is a personal war, but it is one that affects all of you. To fight it benefits all of mankind. It was personal because I have been with her since the beginning. I know what her plans are. She lurks in the shadows, pretending to be this wonderful supplier to these settlements when really, she is going to use them all to take over the places that resist. Her only aim is to take control of what is left of the civilized world. And I want to stop it.”
“Why did you keep it from everyone that you knew her?” I ask.
“Because of the very reaction you gave me,” he answers. “You just told me that you didn’t want any part of it because you feel like it is a personal battle. Well, it’s far beyond personal. The personal side of all this serves only to give me an advantage against her. I know how she thinks. I know what her plans are.”
“Is it true she’s responsible for the greyskin virus?” I ask.
“Yes,” Jeremiah says. “Without a doubt.”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe it.”
“What can’t you believe?”
“She seemed somewhat nice when I talked to her,” I say. “Determined, but nice.”
“She has an effect on people,” he says as a distant stare glazes over his eyes. He seems deep in thought as if he’s thinking about how her charisma has directly affected him. It’s as if there is some story there that he will never tell anyone, but it is so apparent that the story almost tells itself.
“Do you still love her?” I ask, thinking back to the vision I had where Olivia said that she loved him once.
“No,” Jeremiah says quickly. “There was never much love between us.” He sighs. “I don’t want to talk about this now. There is more to discuss.”
“Yeah, you were saying that something was particularly interesting.”
“Yes. About that. A few days ago, a young man showed up here. And last night, a young woman showed up here. The timing of all this is very strange, and is perfect enough to actually make me feel as though I should be cautious.”
“What do you mean?”
“The young man and woman are people you know.”
I sit a little straighter.
“The woman is none other than your sister, Remi.”
I can’t help but smile when he says this. I almost don’t believe him.
“The man,” Jeremiah says, “comes with a story about how Mitch forced you to shoot him, though he is alive and well now.”
“Ethan?” the name passes by my lips as a stunned whisper.
When he nods and says, “yes,” I don’t believe him.
Ethan stands in front of me like a ghost from the past. A feeling of eeriness mixed with a strange desire to kiss him twists within me. I became speechless when I walked into the room. Jeremiah had told me where Ethan was, and I went there immediately, alone, scared. When he sees me, he stands from his chair, but says nothing. We stand across from each other for at least a minute before either of us say anything.
What should I say? ‘Sorry I shot you?’ No. That won’t do.
My breaths are shallow, and I find myself almost ready to say something to him, but my cowardly brain won’t let the words surface.
“Waverly,” Ethan says, just above a whisper. “I…” He looks away from me and at the ground, his face turning red almost like he’s embarrassed.
“How are you still alive?” I say, tears stinging my eyes. The salty drops start falling down both sides of my nose and dripping off the end of my chin. I don’t bother to wipe any of them away because I know each will be replaced by another. I feel happy and sad at the same time. Remorseful but elated.
Most of all I feel relief. Relief in knowing that Mitch hadn’t beaten me after all.
Ethan shook his head slowly, still not looking me in the eyes. “There was a man that found me,” he says. “I don’t know where he came from, but he loaded me into a truck and took me to his cabin far from here. He took care of me. Fed me. Helped me get better.”
“Who is he?”
He looks up at me and shakes his head again. “He never told me his name. He died about a week ago.” Tears start to fall down Ethan’s cheeks as well. He seems so distant. Is he angry? Does he even want to see me anymore?
“You know Mitch took control of my actions, right?” I say. “I would have never done that to you myself.”
“Of course,” Ethan says. He swallows. “Still. It’s not easy to see you.”
“It’s good to see you,” I say. I don’t know what is wrong with him. Why is he keeping his distance? Why is he making this harder for me? For the past month I’ve been living my life in a cell, thinking that I killed one of the last people in the world that I cared about—that cared about me. But here he is, alive and well. Now, he doesn’t even want to see me.
“I plan to work closely with Jeremiah,” he says, changing the subject. “I’m going to help him take down Shadowface.”
I take a short step forward. “We can leave,” I say, whispering. “We can just keep going and never look back, just you and me.”
He looks away from me and sits back down. “It’s too late for that. Maybe a month ago. But not now.” Tears are still falling down his face.
I wish I could get inside his head. I wish I could know what he was thinking, or why he was feeling this way.
“I’m glad to see that you’re alive and well,” he says. “But I want to be alone right now.”
That’s it? He wants to be alone? No
questions of where I’ve been for the past month? No wondering how I have been? What has happened that suddenly makes Ethan not care about me anymore?
“Ethan,” I say. My lips begin to quiver as my teeth clench together. His coldness is too much for me to bear right now. Seeing him alive is a dream come true, but knowing that he hates me for some reason is a nightmare. “I’m sorry, Ethan! I’m sorry! I didn’t want it to happen the way it did!”
He turns his head away from me. “I’m tired,” he says. “I need to rest. Please close the door on your way out.”
I stare at the back of his head for a long moment. I don’t know why, but the tears stop. For the entire conversation, I felt sadness, but when he tells me to leave, I only feel rage growing within me. The tears return, but only because I have the urge to break something. My fingers ball into fists, but I compose myself. I leave the room, but not without slamming the door as hard as I possibly can.
Chapter 10 - Remi
“For the first few days, she just cried,” Stephen tells me.
“Well what do you expect from a three-year-old?” I say.
“Remi,” he says, shaking his head at me. “I don’t have the strength to deal with your snarky attitude.”
I swallow and look away from him, staring out into the parking lot where little Evie sits next to Gabe. Stephen found sidewalk chalk for her to draw on the ground and she almost never looks up once she begins to play. Gabe smiles over and over as Evie tries to show him every new drawing she creates.
“I know you’re mad at me for telling Paxton about his granddaughter, but I think it’s safe to say that nothing came of it.”
“You’re right about that.”
I’m not sure if I’m right about making him mad, or if I’m right about nothing coming of it. I suppose both.
“What happened?” he asks.
“Shadowface gave Paxton an order and he obeyed it,” I say. “I thought his granddaughter would be enough of a reason to go against Shadowface, but it seems I misjudged him. He tried to kill us on the road. I was shot. A couple in some village north of here took care of us.” I look away from Evie and Gabe. “What happened here?”
“We lost almost everybody,” Stephen says. “I assumed Ashley was a traitor by the way she acted, but it seemed she was just trying to get to Shadowface. Ashley knocked me out, and the next thing I knew, most of my people were dead and Shadowface’s soldiers were out of here. Days later, Jeremiah quickly started the process of bringing in more soldiers. I don’t know where he came up with them. It’s almost as if he had them ready, though if he did, I’ll kill him, because we could have used them for the battle.”
“And you don’t have any idea where my sister is?” I ask.
“I’ve already told you,” he snaps. “She was gone when I woke up. Ethan was gone too, but he showed up just before you did. He’s the one you’ll want to ask.”
I plan to. I look at Stephen and I feel sad for some reason. I know he partly blames me for all this. It seems that if I hadn’t showed up here, all this might not have ever happened. He would still be caring for the people that were closest to him. He was no longer the leader of Elkhorn. There were almost none of his people left to lead—just a handful. The rest of the men were Jeremiah’s men—people he had seemed to conjure out of thin air.
That’s what I don’t really like about Jeremiah. I’ve never liked it. He always seems to have a lot of information that he is not willing to divulge. He always tells you exactly what you need to know and nothing more. It gives me the sense that he isn’t to be trusted, but who else is there to trust? I suppose I could travel as far away from here as possible, but I’m not just going to leave with only a memory of my sister. I want to find her.
“You’ll take care of her, won’t you?” Stephen asks, nodding at the little girl.
Do I have a choice? From what I read in Waverly’s notebook, I’m not so sure I do.
“For a time,” I say, absently.
“I’m not doing a very good job of it,” Stephen says. “She could use some motherly attention.”
His words almost make me laugh loudly, but I keep it in. “I am not the person to turn to if you’re looking for motherly, that’s for sure.”
“Maybe not, but she likes you,” he says. “About a week or so in, she was asking about you.”
“About me?” There is some expression on my face that makes Stephen grin for only a flash of a second. Maybe it’s surprise—a lack of belief?
“Yep. I don’t know why, but she likes you.”
“That’s cause she doesn’t know me,” I say rolling my eyes.
Stephen shrugs. “I think it would be good for both of you if you watched out for her.
“I think what you mean to say is that you’re tired of taking care of her and you’d like to pass her on to someone else,” I snap. “I’m not here to babysit. I came here to look for my sister.”
“Well, she isn’t here and no one here knows where she is, so you might as well leave and move on or make yourself useful.”
“And what exactly are you doing here?” I ask.
“Trying to lead,” he says, looking at the ground.
“How’s that working out for you?”
He shakes his head. “One day…just one day and the rug was pulled out from under me. I never even cared about being a leader. That’s not how my people were in Elkhorn. There was no hierarchy, but the people looked to me anyway. Now most of them are gone. I feel like I’m allowed to be here because Jeremiah feels sorry for me or something. Now I just want to get out of here.”
“Where would you go?”
“That’s just it,” he says. He swallows hard as if he’s trying to hold back tears. “I’ve got nowhere to go. I don’t know anyone. And I don’t want to go to a place run by Shadowface. But I don’t want to fight Shadowface either. I just want to live in peace.”
I fight the urge to tell him that that is what we all want. That is what we are all striving for. But what good would it do? We’ve all felt it at some point or another—uselessness, the need to fit in somewhere. It’s a hopeless place to be.
“Remi, look!” Evie’s voice breaks into my thoughts. She crouches on the concrete, her head turned to face me. “I drew you.”
I glance at Stephen before I make my way to Evie and Gabe. Stephen’s eyes seem blank as he stares at the ground, lost in his thoughts. As I walk away from him, I see him as a broken man that has lost everything more than once. First, it was his family. Then, it was his second family—the people here in Elkhorn that used to look up to him. With everyone gone, he is just an empty shell.
I crouch next to Evie and look down at the drawing. It’s a stick figure, which I assume is me, a triangle around the body to show that I’m wearing a dress. My line of an arm is extended, meeting the end of another arm—a drawing of a boy.
“Who is this?” I ask, pointing.
“Gabe,” she says with a big smile.
Gabe flashes a bright smile when she says this. I think he likes the drawing a little too much. I quickly point to a different drawing. There are about thirty other stick figures, all of them seemingly moving toward the drawing of Gabe and me.
“And who are all these people?” I ask.
“Greyskins,” Evie says. “They will eat you.”
Hearing these words from such a small girl creeps me out. And to know that these things are real and not just from some story is even worse. It suddenly dawns on me that this is all Evie knows. She is literally the first person to have lived her entire life in a world where the greyskins rule. Life as I knew it three years ago never existed for her. In fact, everyone born after this point will only know this life of hardship. The thought brings tears to my eyes. I turn away quickly and stand to try to gain my composure. I move to another drawing and point at it.
“What are those?” I ask.
She talks for the next minute or so, but I don’t hear anything from her. Lost in my thoughts, images of a future gene
ration pass through my mind. What will the future be like if we don’t stop Shadowface? What if we don’t find a cure to the greyskin virus? What kind of person will Evie grow up to be when all she has ever known is death and decay? Who will show her love in her life? Who will raise her? Take care of her? If my sister is correct at all, it won’t be me for very long. I’m going to give her away to somebody.
The thought had never made me do more than shrug before, but now that I’m with her I feel a great sense of sorrow. Guilt even. When I think on my childhood, I see images of playing in my treehouse, riding a scooter down the sidewalk, or getting ice-cream whenever I wanted it. Evie will get none of that. No child will.
“Remi,” Gabe says.
I turn to him.
“You okay?” He stands next to me and places a hand on my shoulder.
“Yeah,” I whisper, looking down at Evie who is drawing another group of greyskins surrounding Gabe and me. My eyes travel past her to where Stephen had been standing. He is no longer there. “I guess it’s up to me to take care of her.”
“You won’t be alone,” Gabe says. “I will help.”
“That’s not what we’re here to do,” I say.
“Look at her, Remi,” he says. “She needs people who aren’t walking around comatose. Stephen isn’t good for her.”
“There aren’t other people around?” I already know the answer to that. There is no one. Most from before are dead. Those that are still alive are concentrating on helping Jeremiah. Why? Maybe because there is nothing better to do. “I figured Paxton would have come here to look for his granddaughter.”
Gabe shakes his head and shrugs.
“What does this mean for trying to find my sister?” I ask. “Will we just take Evie with us?”
Gabe looks past me, his expression goes from serious to a silly grin spreading across his face.
“What?” I ask.
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