Charmed Life

by Diana Wynne Jones

  As Cat expected, Will Suggins made a beautiful tiger, long-backed and sleek and sharply striped. He was heavy as he padded up and down the slope, but his legs slid so easily in the silky folds of his hide that he almost seemed light. But Will Suggins himself spoiled the effect by rubbing a distressed paw over his huge cat face and staring appealingly at Chrestomanci. Chrestomanci simply laughed. The dragon trotted up the hill to investigate this new beast. Will Suggins was so alarmed that he reared up on his great hind legs to get away from it. It looked so ungainly for a tiger to be doing that, that Cat turned him back to Will Suggins on the spot.

  “It wasn’t real?” asked the dragon.

  “No!” said Will Suggins, mopping his face with his sleeve. “All right, lad, you win. How did you do it so quick?”

  “I don’t know,” Cat said apologetically. “I’ve really no idea. Shall I learn when you teach me magic?” he asked Mr. Saunders.

  Mr. Saunders looked a little blank. “Well—”

  “No, Michael,” said Chrestomanci, “is the right answer. It’s quite clear Elementary Magic isn’t going to mean much to Cat. I’ll have to teach you myself, Cat, and we’ll be starting on Advanced Theory, I think, by the look of it. You seem to start where most people leave off.”

  “But why didn’t he know?” Janet demanded. “It always makes me angry not to know things, and I feel especially angry about this, because it seems so hard on Cat.”

  “It is, I agree,” said Chrestomanci. “But it’s something in the nature of enchanters’ magic, I think. Something the same happened to me. I couldn’t do magic either. I couldn’t do anything. But they found I had nine lives—I lost them at such a rate that it soon became obvious—and they told me I had to be the next Chrestomanci when I grew up, which absolutely appalled me, because I couldn’t work the simplest spell. So they sent me to a tutor, the most terrifying old person, who was supposed to find what the trouble was. And he took one look at me and snarled, ‘Empty your pockets, Chant!’ Which I did. I was too scared not to. I took out my silver watch, and one and sixpence, and a silver charm from my godmother, and a silver tiepin I had forgotten to wear, and a silver brace I was supposed to wear in my teeth. And as soon as they were gone, I did some truly startling things. As I remember, the roof of the tutor’s house came off.”

  “Is it really true about silver, then?” Janet said.

  “For me, yes,” said Chrestomanci.

  “Yes, poor darling,” Millie said, smiling at him. “It’s so awkward with money. He can only handle pound notes and coppers.”

  “He has to give us our pocket money in pennies, if Michael hasn’t got it,” said Roger. “Imagine sixty pennies in your pocket.”

  “The really difficult thing is mealtimes,” said Millie. “He can’t do a thing with a knife and fork in his hands—and Gwendolen would do awful things during dinner.”

  “How stupid!” said Janet. “Why on earth don’t you use stainless steel cutlery?”

  Millie and Chrestomanci looked at one another. “I never thought of it!” said Millie. “Janet, my love, it’s a very good thing you’re staying here!”

  Janet looked at Cat and laughed. And Cat, though he was still a little lonely and tearful, managed to laugh too.

  PERFECTBOUND

  E-BOOK EXCLUSIVE EXTRAS

  WHO IS CRESTOMANCI

  WHO IS CHRESTOMANCI? The question should really be What is Chrestomanci? For, as was revealed in Charmed Life, Chrestomanci is actually the title of a job and not a person’s name at all. The Chrestomanci is employed by the Government to monitor and control the use of magic throughout the related worlds.

  This is not the most popular of jobs, especially with the less-than-scrupulous characters who tend to be tempted by any opportunity to misuse power, and particularly if it can earn them lots of money or an exciting life. But using magic is always dangerous, and it always has consequences, so even the best-intentioned witch or warlock needs help and guidance from time to time. Not only that, but there are plenty of ordinary people in the worlds without even a whiff of magical ability, and they need someone to make sure that the magic users don’t get their own way all of the time — which is where Chrestomanci comes in.

  As well as looking after people, Chrestomanci also has to protect the worlds they live in. Many spells need certain ingredients to work properly, just like recipes — which is fine if they are items like six drops of dew from a yew tree at dawn, or a handful of grass from inside a stone circle, or even dried mouse droppings. But some spells call for substances such as dragon’s blood or mermaid scales. These are illegal products, because of the potential harm caused by both the collection and careless use of such dark materials. But this also means there is a thriving black market in “exotic supplies,” so Chrestomanci and his team have to be constantly on the alert for smugglers and underhand dealers.

  Of course, not everyone is qualified to take on the post of Chrestomanci — it’s not a job you can simply apply for. Only the strength and special skills of an enchanter can possibly begin to attempt to tackle the task. But Chrestomanci is no ordinary enchanter — he has to be a nine-lifed enchanter. Most people, whatever their magical status, just have one life each — but they also have counterparts, or doubles, in other worlds. People with nine lives (and they are exceedingly rare) exist only in their own world, with no counterparts anywhere else, which means that all the talents and energies and abilities that would have been spread out across the others are all concentrated in the one person. This makes Chrestomanci a very powerful enchanter, indeed.

  One of the most challenging tasks a Chrestomanci has to undertake is finding his successor — the next Chrestomanci. This is never easy, not only because of the fact that nine-lifed enchanters are exceedingly rare, but they might not even be living in the same world! They also are usually completely unaware that they have more than the usual number of lives and often demonstrate a distinct lack of magical ability in childhood. They are often discovered for the first time when they begin to lose their lives. For example, if on Monday somebody falls from an extremely high tower, or is consumed by fire, or gets hit round the head with a cricket bat, and yet on Tuesday is happily walking around with no noticeable ill-effects, chances are he has nine lives. This means that he is then worth testing to find out what’s stopping him from doing magic.

  All nine-lifed enchanters have a weakness, and it is usually that weakness which prevents them from being aware of their magic when they are young. Of course, they do not all share the same weakness, so it can take some time to track down exactly what the problem is. Once the weakness is identified and avoided, they can work magic like anything! In fact, because enchanters’ magic is particularly potent and immediate, they have to spend many years in training, learning how to control their power and discovering its full extent — while trying very hard not to dislocate the universe or blow off too many rooftops.

  Once they are aware of their nine lives, it’s up to them to make sure they take care of the ones they have left — especially the last one. The best way to do this is to detach it from the body and keep it in a secret, protected location where it cannot be attacked or enchanted. Removing a life intact is a delicate operation; Gabriel de Witt, who is Chrestomanci in The Lives of Christopher Chant, pioneered the process, trialling it successfully for the first time on his Chrestomanci-in-training.

  The one thing Chrestomanci doesn’t have is a nine-to-five job. He h11as to be ready to thwart evil, apprehend villains, and solve magical conundrums at the drop of a hat, no matter in what time, place, or dimension they happen to occur. People in dire need can also summon him by calling his name aloud three times. Consequently, his staff are used to finding half-drunk cups of tea and abandoned plates, as dire need is no respecter of mealtimes.

  Being Chrestomanci is the most powerful job in the related worlds, and the Government are always on the lookout for the next one. So if you ever fin
d yourself returning to dream worlds you’ve visited before, waking up with grubby feet and gravel in your bed, being told off for being “on a different planet,” or raising small whirlwinds in the garden — you never know, it could be you!

  ABOUT DRESSING GOWNS

  ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS we learn about Chrestomanci when we meet him in Charmed Life is that he has impeccable taste in clothes, particularly of the well-tailored and expensive variety. When he turns up out of the blue in Mrs. Sharp’s untidy kitchen, he’s dressed in a beautiful dark velvet coat with pearly-striped trousers and carrying a tall black hat that is as shiny as his boots.

  Later he is seen splendidly attired in velvet — dark red, gray with faint lilac stripes, smooth dove gray with a matching hat, blue velvet with lace ruffles at the collar and cuffs. And that is only correct; being in charge of the use of magic throughout the related worlds is an important post, so Chrestomanci should look important.

  One of the main problems with being Chrestomanci, however, is that he’s likely to be called away on urgent business at any time to any place. No matter whether he’s having breakfast, about to go to bed or have a bath, or simply being with his family — if there’s a call for help, Chrestomanci has to go.

  And that’s where the dressing gowns come in. Because he never knows when he might be summoned, Chrestomanci has a whole collection of magnificent embroidered dressing gowns, which are just as splendid and important-looking as any velvet suit he might own.

  Eye-catching designs he has been seen wearing include:

  Red and purple flowered silk, with gold at the neck and sleeves.

  A flowing robe of bright pink and orange, lined in scarlet.

  Green with embroidered golden lions.

  Sky-blue with golden lions.

  Long and black with embroidered yellow comets, lined in yellow with embroidered black comets.

  In fact, Chrestomanci has a different dressing gown for every day of the year, so it is very unlikely that he would ever be spotted in the same one twice! They are such magnificent garments that they would easily pass for robes of office in most worlds. (Except, perhaps, for the odd occasion when Chrestomanci is quite obviously wearing bedroom slippers, too!)

  RELATED WORLDS

  AS ANYONE READING these five e-books knows by now, there are hundreds of different worlds, and some are nicer than others. A new world is formed when there is a big event in History, like a battle or an earthquake, when the outcome can be two or more quite different things. Different things can happen but they cannot exist together, so the world splits into worlds and History goes its separate ways.

  Chrestomanci and his team know about other worlds and a number of them have been visited. There are twelve known Related Worlds and each of these worlds is divided into sets, called Series (there are usually nine of these), which are categorised according to the events in History that were the same in them. The numbering of the Related Worlds goes from twelve to one. The numbers go backwards because it’s thought that Series One is the original world of the twelve, and the great Mages of One who first discovered the other worlds did the numbering.

  Although each world is different, the worlds may contain some elements that are the same. For example, you might have a number of counterparts in the Related Worlds, but while you and your counterpart may be exact doubles, the chances are your characters will be quite different. If you wanted to find out more about Related Worlds, a book like Other-World Studies, Series III would come in handy.

  If you didn’t know about Related Worlds or Series, then you might call them the Anywheres or Almost Anywheres. But if you have studied the Related Worlds you would know how different each Series can be: you may not want to visit Series Eight, a bleak and stony world, or Series Six, where the worlds are covered in ice. And don’t be fooled by Series Eleven, as it’s not a Series at all, but just one world. But you may like Series Five, with its islands and mermaids. And if you’re looking for a good cup of hot chocolate, Series Nine is the place for you.

  Janet Chant’s world is the one that most resembles our own, with its machinery and science and signs to Tufnell Park. And the Angela Brazil books that Christopher sees in The Lives of Christopher Chant are considered to be Rare Books, imported from her world, Twelve B. Like Cat Chant, Janet’s world is in Series Twelve, but whereas World A (Cat’s world) is oriented to magic, Janet’s world split off in the Fourteenth Century and turned to science and machinery.

  If you find yourself suddenly transported from your own world to another you could get by, as all the Related Worlds speak the same language (hence their name), but not knowing the history of that particular world could make life very tricky. However, you could always fall back on a good game of conkers, the rules for which seem to be the same in a number of different worlds.

  How do you get from one world to another? If you are Chrestomanci, a call for help is enough to transport you there. It’s not that easy for everyone else, but there are a number of ways: you can move in body (i.e., move your physical body from one world to the next), and you can also move in spirit — on what is known as a “spirit trip” or “spirit traveling.” The difference between the two is that the person who is spirit travelling needs another medium to anchor him to his own world. This might take the form of a pretty young lady playing a musical instrument. Note that it is not usually possible for a spirit traveller to bring back solid objects from another world. If you are able to spirit-travel without a medium and you are able to bring back solid objects, you are obviously very special.

  So how do you physically travel from one world to another? Well, for this you will need a gateway, an opening between worlds. You may be living very near a way through to another world, but unless you know how to look at something in a different way, you may never find it. It does help if you have witch-sight, as this enables you to see through magical disguises. It is also possible to set up a gateway to another world. This is rather effectively done within a pentangle in The Lives of Christopher Chant, but it takes very strong magic.

  When you travel from one world to the next, you usually have to leave a part of yourself behind. Unless, of course, you wish to move more permanently. By using very strong magic it is possible to relocate yourself to another world, but be warned — this will set up a chain reaction whereby your counterparts will be dragged through after you, replacing the gaps left behind in each world!

  Before you get to another world, you may have to travel through The World Edge, which, if you didn’t know any better, you might call The Place Between. Not all travellers can actually see The World Edge, but it’s always like a leftover piece of world. At its worst, The World Edge can be shapeless and empty, which may be enough to put the most hardened traveller off going any farther, but it also functions as the mechanism that draws you back to your own world, and this can help prevent you from getting lost.

  Once you’ve made it into another world, it’s a good idea to proceed with caution, as you never know when you might stumble across something unpleasant — like a dragon, for example. You should also be careful what you do in other worlds, for your actions may affect the natural laws in your own world. One thing is certain: Related Worlds and parallel universes are not to be toyed with!

  TYPES OF MAGIC

  WHAT IS MAGIC? There is no easy answer to this question. For in the worlds of Chrestomanci, magic is as individual as the person using it. And if two people use the same spell but the results are different, this may not only be due to who is doing the magic, but how they are doing the magic, and whether the magic is being used for good or evil.

  Is it possible to learn magic? If no one in your family has ever shown signs of magical ability, it is very unlikely that you will be able to do magic. If, however, your great-aunt twice removed once turned herself invisible, the chances are there is magic in your family and you may well have inherited it. It is no surprise that Roger and Juli
a Chant can do magic in Charmed Life, for example, given that their father is Chrestomanci. Even those children from a magical family who seem to have no magic ability at all usually find there’s a logical reason why not, as magic will out!

  But being born with magical ability is not enough. Magic users are not born knowing spells and charms — these have to be learnt. Spell-making and spell-using is handed down like recipes through generations in The Magicians of Caprona, where each spell-making family is a school of learning. In The Lives of Christopher Chant, Charmed Life, and Mixed Magics, alongside lessons on history, geography, and mathematics, the student has to take a series of Elementary and Advanced Magic classes. It is only when you pass the Advanced Magic classes that you become what is known as an “adept.”

  So what happens in a world where magic and witchcraft are outlawed? Larwood House, the school for witch-orphans in Witch Week, is the very last place you would have magic lessons, for magic is utterly forbidden. Still, the funny thing about magic is that, lessons or no lessons, it has a habit of breaking out like measles, whether in the form of a swarm of exotic birds, a flying mop, or a running shoe disguised as a gateau. One thing is certain: although erratic, the results of untrained magic can be quite spectacular.

  If you are born without magic, or don’t come from a family of magic users, it is still possible to learn magic. But having magic on the curriculum doesn’t necessarily ensure good teaching. Being taught by a hedge-wizard (a derogatory name for an inept wizard) is just as bad as not being taught at all. People who have been taught by hedge-wizards, or not taught at all, usually lack the skills to use their magic ability wisely or properly, yet another reason why Chrestomanci is needed!