Laughter spills out of me uncontrollably, the sound reverberating around the park and gloriously bouncing its way back to me.
‘One for the road,’ I say bashfully, taking Alastair’s fingertips in mine and pulling him back up the pathway to the church.
I don’t need a special someone in my life to complete me, and I know I’m going to be learning all sorts about myself and the world over the next three months, but maybe it’s OK to admit that I need all kinds of people around me to make me feel whole. Mum, Dad, Ted, Michelle and baby Duncan, Connie and Natalia, all my new friends at Sing it Proud, and Alastair – they all bring out different sides of me, whether that be ambitious, brave, funny, sexy, loving, caring, silly or dedicated. Allowing all of those parts to shine is surely the only way I will ever feel content and happy. I will forever be working on my progress list, and that’s life. I’m not meant to be who I was yesterday, last year or a decade ago. Changing isn’t a weakness or something to be ashamed of. Evolving can only be seen as a success. Allowing people in will always be the making of me, whether for better or worse.
I’m lots of things, and just as different experiences along the way shape me into the person I am at one given moment, so too do the people I encounter. And that’s got to be some kind of wonderful.
Epilogue
Three months later
I take a breath, my backpack firmly on my shoulders, having recovered it from baggage claim. It was pink when I left, now it’s a murky purple thanks to the dirt that’s attached itself and followed us on our travels.
Have I found myself? Did I ever think that was truly possible? Surely not. We are ever changing. The second you think you’ve got a grasp of your true self the situation alters and you have to start solving the puzzle once again.
I am at peace with who I am in this exact moment. I can’t predict what’ll happen tomorrow, or who’ll be standing through these doors when I step into arrivals at Stansted Airport and how that might, or might not, affect who I’ll be tomorrow or in ten years. But I can accept myself for who I am, and allow myself to explore without having too many expectations.
I spent so long focusing on something that wasn’t real. From now on, all I ask of myself is to home in on the now and realize that that is all that matters. The here and now.
A young couple walk past me. As if their blinding rings aren’t the biggest giveaway, a huge sticker on the woman’s gold suitcase declares they’re ‘Just Married’. Honeymooners, coming home with their tanned skin and blissfully loved-up expressions.
Good for them, I think to myself with a wry smile, before peeling my eyes away and focusing on the doors in front of me.
Not my story.
I can’t stand here for much longer. It’s time to head through them and see what the moment holds.
One more breath.
In.
Out.
Calm.
Let’s go.
Acknowledgements
Writing a book can be a lonely experience. I can be sitting in my office for up to twelve hours a day with nothing but a packet of Chocolate Hobnobs to keep me company. That said, this book is a team effort and there have been many wonderful people who’ve cheered me on along the way! So, let’s get thanking!
Hannah Ferguson, there’s a reason you’re always listed first. I would not be doing this if you hadn’t seen my potential all those years ago. Thank you for being the right literary agent for me, and always replying to my worried emails with your super-relaxed energy! Thanks to the teams at Hardman & Swainson and The Marsh Agency for supporting us both.
Maxine Hitchcock, what a joy it’s been to have you editing this book. Thank you for doing so in such a calm and supportive way. Ellie Hughes, Claire Bush, Nick Lowndes, Fiona Brown and the various teams at Penguin Random House who’ve shown me nothing but love and support – you’re all brilliant!
Rebecca Boyce, Claire Dundas, Sophie Gildersleeve and everyone at James Grant for being the absolute best management team around. Thank you for encouraging me to keep reaching beyond what I ever imagined would be possible. I can’t wait to see what we get up to next!
The readers – YOU! I can’t thank you enough for making my dream of being an author a reality. Without you buying my work and asking for more there’d simply be no books. This is all on you!
A big thanks to my great friends who never put pressure on me or make me feel crap for disappearing each time I have a book to write. Katy, Emma, Charlie, Savannah, Lauren, Karen, Bex, The Hoppers, The Handy Crew and all the other kind and thoughtful special mates I’ve made – life has changed for all of us, but I love watching your lives unfold. I’m so proud to call you my friends!
I would not be able to physically sit at my desk each day if the Fletcher/Falcone troops didn’t gather around and look after the boys/us. Bob and Debbie, thank you for pouring so much love into the boys and making the fact I have to work a little bit easier on my heart. Dad, you really are the wisest man I know. Mum, you really are the nuttiest woman I know. Giorgie, Chickpea and Miss Summer Rae, how lucky are we to have you guys – trashy TV, food and wine. Thanks for keeping us sane and giving us a bit of normality. Mario and Becky, I can’t wait to see what the next few years have in store for you both. Debbie B – thanks for your continued kindness and love! Carrie, you’re such a talented soul with so many strings to your bow.
Tom, Buzz and Buddy. Well, the book is in and you’ve finally got your wife/mumma back. Tom, thanks for juggling this parenting malarkey with me and being as work-obsessed as I am. How lucky are we to do what we love and have two adorable boys to call our sons? Yes, the six a.m. starts aren’t pleasant, and we could probably do without all the wailing and senseless meltdowns, but the smiles and laughs make those moments more than worthwhile. Thank you for being my partner in crime and making me belly laugh on a regular occasion. Date night soon?
Buzz and Buddy, you two are perfectly imperfect and I will spend my entire lifetime loving every single thing about you. Thank you for being my driving force and my biggest inspiration. I love you!
THE BEGINNING
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MICHAEL JOSEPH
UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa
Michael Joseph is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
First published 2017
Copyright © Giovanna Fletcher, 2017
The moral right of the author has been asserted
ISBN: 978-1-405-92487-0
Some Kind of Wonderful Page 31