by Sarah Bailey
We walked down the hallway together towards the dining room. Duke glanced at me.
“You’re already strong, Kira. You’ve been through so much since his diagnosis. It’s why I wanted to treat you. You deserve it, you know, to do something just for you and not worry about the future or your dad’s deteriorating health.”
I couldn’t put into words how much Duke’s gesture meant to me. We were going to have a lot of fun together in New York. Two eighteen-year-olds exploring the city. Whilst we wouldn’t be able to drink, I didn’t care about that. I wanted to see the sights and spend time with my best friend away from our usual lives.
“Thank you. I think I need this. I can’t wait.”
“We can do all the stuff you want when we’re there. Dad gave me permission to spend as much as we want.”
I knew better than to object to using his parent’s money. They’d always seen me as one of the family. Dad was constantly thanking them for everything they did for us whenever one of Duke’s parents visited. He wasn’t always well enough to come to dinner here.
Duke and I had to tell my dad not to mention the dating thing to his family whilst we were still working out whether or not it was going somewhere. Thankfully, Dad understood and promised he wouldn’t say a word. I absolutely dreaded to think about what would happen if it got out.
The two of us arrived in the dining room, finding everyone else was already there. We took the two empty seats next to each other. I was next to Xav, which I wasn’t upset about. I needed to speak to him anyway. Everyone started digging in the moment we sat down, passing dishes around, and the conversation flowed. Family dinners at Duke’s place were always loud and lively. With nine of them, there was never a dull moment.
I nudged Xav with my arm to get his attention after a few minutes. He glanced at me with a smile.
“I wanted to thank you for the New York trip,” I murmured, leaning closer.
His grin got wider and he winked.
“You’ve told me enough times it’s top of your bucket list.”
When Xav was teaching me coding and other stuff, we talked a lot about my interests and what I wanted out of life. The topic of going abroad came up more than a few times. I guess I’d always been closest to Duke’s dad. We had similar interests. Not to mention Duke had a lot of his dad’s traits. Probably why we got on so well.
“I appreciate it.”
He reached over and rubbed my shoulder.
“It was Duke’s idea, I merely suggested the place and the things you’d want to do.”
“Still, you didn’t have to do that for me.”
The next thing I knew, Xav had wrapped his arm around me and gave me a half-hug.
“You’re important to me and everyone else here, Kira. We know you’ve been through a hard time with Stan. How is he doing?”
I couldn’t help hugging Xav back, even though we were at the dinner table.
“He’s okay.”
“Must be hard on him. I know how much he loved working.”
I nodded as Xav let me go.
“I worry about him. He’ll be happy to know I’m going away with Duke but being away from him makes me nervous.”
I didn’t want anything to happen to my dad when I wasn’t around. It would kill me if I couldn’t say goodbye. I loved my dad more than anything. Well, perhaps my only exception was Duke, but I loved him in a different way.
“He’ll be fine and if he’s not, then we’ll make sure to keep an eye on him, yeah? I promise.”
“You don’t have to do that. He’s got his carers.”
Xav gave me a look.
“It’s not an imposition, don’t even try to start with that shit.”
I picked up my fork and gave him a sheepish look. I did know better than to argue about this shit with him or any of the others.
“Okay, okay.”
He nudged my arm.
“That’s my girl.”
I grinned. Xav treated me like I was his kid, though he was more lenient with me than his own children. Probably because I was the one who never got in trouble. Duke always took the fall when our dares got out of hand. He never minded. Duke had a thick skin and let a lot of things wash off his back.
I glanced over at Duke, who was watching me and Xav with an unreadable expression on his face. His features smoothed out when he noticed me looking, and he gave me a smile. I wondered what he was thinking about my interaction with his dad. I shouldn’t since he’d witnessed Xav and me together before. Maybe I was reading into stuff way too much. I had a tendency of doing so. I tried my best to combat it. Only when it came to Duke, I read into everything. Probably had a lot to do with me being in love with him.
I’d already accepted I would probably always feel this way about him. Being around the object of your affections meant it was difficult to move past it. Especially when you’d been intimate with them. The memory of Duke's and my drunken night played on repeat in my head when I attempted to sleep at night. It invaded my senses and made me want a repeat. I wouldn’t get one though. We wouldn’t go there again. We couldn’t keep fucking up like that.
It would be different if Duke wanted a real relationship, but he didn’t. He’d decided on this fake dating thing for my father’s sake. He didn’t love me the way I loved him. Duke had always only loved me like a friend. Sure, there was some attraction there or we wouldn’t have slept together when we were drunk, but it meant nothing more. You did stupid shit when you were drunk you wouldn’t normally do.
I was determined to put it behind us, just as I had done the last time. Duke and I were going to have an awesome time away and remind ourselves why we worked best as friends.
Or so I hoped.
Chapter Twenty Four
Tomorrow Kira and I would be jetting off to New York. She was getting more excited by the day. I kept getting text messages from her informing me she’d changed her mind about what she wanted to do whilst we were there. We only had four and a half days. She wanted to make the most of it. I was content to let her decide. It was for her, after all.
I’d got my suitcase out, and was in the middle of packing when my phone started ringing. Grabbing it off the bedside table, I answered the phone, noting it was my best friend.
“Hey, Kira.”
“Duke, I need you,” came her choked voice.
I tensed. She sounded panicked and afraid. What the fuck had happened?
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Dad… Lisa called the doctor earlier as he’s not been doing too well. He came out and told us Dad needs to be hospitalised. He’s pretty sure Dad has pneumonia.”
My chest tightened. The fear in her voice cut me deeply. There were two leading causes of death in patients with Parkinson’s. Falls and pneumonia. Kira was terrified of either of them happening to her father. And now one had.
“Where are you?”
“We’re getting ready to leave. The ambulance is here.”
“Okay, do you need me to take you to the hospital?”
I could only be glad my car keys had been returned by my parents, though if I told them about this, they would help me without hesitation.
“Please. I’m so scared, Duke.”
“I know. Give me two minutes and I’ll come get you, okay?”
Packing could wait. Being there for Kira was far more important. She needed me.
“Please hurry. I really need you. I can’t do this by myself.”
“I’m coming, Kira. I promise. You don’t need to worry. I’ll be right there with you.”
“Thank you.”
She hung up. I stuffed my phone in my pocket, gathered up what I needed and left my room, making a beeline for the front door to put my shoes on. Raphi was coming out of the living room when I reached the lobby.
“Where you off to?” he asked, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.
“Stan has to go to the hospital. I need to take Kira.”
/> “Oh shit, what happened?”
I stuffed my feet into my trainers.
“They think he has pneumonia. Can you tell our parents?”
“Of course, give Kira a hug from me.”
“Will do.”
I rushed out the door the next minute and ran to my car. It would take me a couple of minutes to drive to Kira’s. Opening my car door, I jumped inside and started the engine, setting off immediately. The ambulance was still outside Kira’s house when I pulled up. I was out of the car, locking it and striding towards her front door within minutes. It was open and Kira was standing speaking to one of the paramedics just inside the house. The moment she saw me, she ran into my arms. I held her against my chest as her body shuddered.
“Duke.”
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’m right here.” I stroked her hair. “I’ve got you.”
The way her body trembled had my heart in knots. Her fists clenched in my t-shirt. She was having trouble holding back all of her emotions. No fucking doubt I would stay with her as long as she needed me.
After a minute, I pulled back and held her face in my hands. Her eyes were watery. Those beautiful copper eyes should never be so full of pain.
“Do you need me to do anything else?”
“Just be here,” she whispered.
I nodded, spying the paramedics coming out the front door with Stan on a gurney. I moved Kira out of the way to allow them through. They stopped next to us when Stan held up a hand. He pulled his oxygen mask down.
“Take care of her,” he croaked before replacing it.
“I will. We’re right behind you, Stan. I promise.”
He nodded. The paramedics took him away into the ambulance. We spent a few minutes talking to them before they set off. Lisa, Stan’s carer, promised to check in with Kira and me later. We got into my car and drove in silence. I held Kira’s hand as much as I could when I wasn’t changing gears. She looked downtrodden and defeated, staring out of the window as the city passed us by.
When we got to the hospital, we had to wait whilst they got Stan situated in a ward and seen by the doctors. Kira held onto me in the waiting room like she was afraid of falling apart if she let go. I spoke to my dad on the phone to update them on the situation. After an hour, we could finally sit with Stan on the ward. He was hooked up to the machinery and looked so small in the hospital bed. His spirits were up though, having both of us there. Kira was attempting to be strong for him. I knew on the inside she was scared out of her mind.
The doctors had been in to see Kira and talk to her about Stan’s condition. They’d assured her they were going to do everything they could, but they had concerns as his ability to cough was severely limited by his disease.
Stan fell asleep not long after they left. Kira and I sat in two seats by his bedside. She watched him with a broken expression as if seeing her dad like this destroyed her inside. I wrapped an arm around her and tugged her against me, stroking her hair to attempt to soothe her.
“I’m scared,” she whispered, clutching my thigh.
“They’re doing everything they can for him.”
“But what if he can’t fight it, Duke? What if he… he’ll never see me go to university. He won’t be there on my graduation day.” She choked out a sob as a tear fell down her cheek. “He won’t see me get married.”
I pulled her into my lap, curling my arms around her. She buried her face in my shoulder and cried.
“Shh, it’s okay, I know,” I murmured into her hair.
I didn’t know what else to say or do other than hold her. If she needed to cry and let it all out, then she could use me as her anchor. She could cry all over my t-shirt for as long as she needed. Her body shook with the violence of her emotions. She was trying not to be too loud and disturb the other patients on the ward. Stan’s bed was the last one at the end, so we were next to the window. The curtain had been pulled across on one side, giving us privacy. Not sure Kira would want anyone else witnessing her breakdown. I imagined she felt safe to cry on me when her dad was asleep.
Whilst I let her sob her heart out, my mind ran riot, particularly over the last words she spoke. The ones about marriage. Stan’s biggest dream had always been seeing his little girl on her wedding day. It was the one thing he desired more than anything in the world. I’d known about it for years because it bothered the hell out of Kira. I could understand his feelings on the matter. He wanted Kira to have someone who’d be there for her when he was gone. It didn’t matter if he knew she had my family, he wanted something permanent for her.
What if Kira’s fears came true? What if Stan didn’t make it and he never got to see her married? My heart was fucking dying over it. I’d grown up with Stan. He was like another father to me in so many ways, even though I already had four. And the way Kira was sobbing on me killed me even more. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what.
The seeds of something reckless as fuck entered my mind. Something I should never even consider. But when had I ever been rational when it came to Kira and making her happy? I’d do anything for this girl. Absolutely anything. This shit might be the stupidest idea I’d ever had.
Kira pulled away from me, her eyes all bloodshot and her expression grim. I stroked her face, wanting to dry her tears. My shoulder was a sodden mess, but I didn’t give a shit. All I cared about was her.
For a moment she said nothing, her expression telling me everything I needed to know. She felt some catharsis from purging her emotions, but it didn’t nullify the pain and worry in her heart.
“I should go clean my face up,” she whispered.
I nodded, helping her out of my lap. She checked on Stan, who was still asleep before disappearing. I tugged my phone out of my pocket and set about researching what I needed to know to enact my incredibly ridiculous and reckless plan. Who the fuck knew if Kira would be on board with this. It would be taking the fake dating thing one step further. Probably one step way too far. It didn’t stop me. Nothing would. Not when the happiness of the people I cared about was on the line. Fulfilling what might be a dying man’s wish was my driving force.
When Kira came back, she was calmer as she sat down next to me. I took her hand, rubbing my thumb over the back of it.
“Okay?”
She nodded, her eyes fixed on her father. She turned to me a moment later.
“I don’t know if we can go to New York. Not when he’s like this.”
I squeezed her hand. It wasn’t surprising she’d thought of that, but I was going to show her why we should.
“We need to go.”
Her eyes searched mine, confusion painting her features.
“How can I leave him, Duke? He needs me. I can’t go to traipsing off to another country when Dad’s lying in a hospital bed.”
“We can go and I’ll tell you why.” I squeezed her hand. “We’re going to fulfil Stan’s desire to see you get married.”
Kira’s eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened.
“What?”
“Before you lose your shit, hear me out… we can’t do it here because it would take too long. You have to wait twenty-eight days, but if we go to New York, we can do it whilst we’re there. Just have to make sure we take all the right ID and stuff.”
She slid her hand from mine and shifted back as if scared of what I was saying.
“Am I hearing you right? Did you just suggest you and I get married?”
“Yeah, you heard me right.”
“What the fuck, Duke!” she hissed, “Are you insane?”
I probably was, but it was neither here nor there.
“Fake dating for my dad is one thing but getting married is entirely different. You’re seriously telling me you’d legally bind yourself to me purely to make my dad happy?”
I shrugged. Honestly, I’d never considered marriage as an option. Not when my parents were perfectly content in their relationship without the need for a legally
binding document. Not that the five of them could get married, but that wasn’t the point. This was Kira. I’d move mountains for her and Stan.
“You said it yourself. What if he doesn’t make it, Kira? What if he doesn’t get to see you do everything you love? Wouldn’t you want to give him this one thing?”
She gave me a wounded look, which I probably deserved. I was trying to be realistic. There was a possibility he wouldn’t survive this. He was sick enough to be hospitalised. The doctors had expressed their concerns regarding his condition. We didn’t know if he was strong enough to fight pneumonia with his failing health.
“Marriage is a big deal.”
“Is it?”
“Yes! We’re not even in a real relationship. Why the hell would we bind ourselves to each other?”
I took her hands again.
“We can get it annulled or whatever afterwards. It wouldn’t be forever.” She was about to open her mouth when I cut her off. “Kira, I would do anything for you and for Stan. I love both of you. You’re part of my family, even if you’re not blood. Stan already thinks we’re together, what is going one step further going to do?”
Kira shook her head. I could see her wavering.
“How on earth are we going to explain this to everyone else?”
“We don’t. They don’t have to know. We’ll Livestream it to the hospital for Stan, and no one else has to be any the wiser.”
“Dad’s not going to keep it a secret!”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Who is he going to tell?”
“What happens if he survives, Duke? Did you think of that? We would have to explain it then. Dad’s going to want to talk to your parents.”
I hadn’t exactly considered it.
“Then we deal with it if it happens. I’m not fucking around with this. Do you think I would suggest it if I wasn’t serious? I’m aware it’s crazy and fucked up, but when have we ever played by the rules?”
Dropping one of her hands, I cupped her face, running my thumb over her jaw.
“Did you forget we’re two reckless teenagers who don’t give a shit about the consequences?”
She shook her head.