Unscripted

by Nicole Kronzer

“Tell me about it.” I zipped up my suitcase. “Try to get Nina Knightley’s autograph for me, okay?” Will bit his lip and nodded. “Thanks,” I said. I stood and turned to face everyone. “Time for me to go.”

  A knock came at the door, and I jumped, sure it was Ben. Jesse poked his head in, and I wondered how long the ghost of Ben’s abuse would ruin normal moments like that for me.

  “Ready, scout?” Jesse was still trying not to smile, but his eyes gave him away.

  “There’s one person who’s glad she’s going,” Will said.

  “I just want Zelda to be happy,” Jesse countered. “Getting kicked out of improv camp doesn’t make her happy.”

  “But . . .” Will pressed.

  “But if she can’t have improv camp, I’m happy to try and make her happy a different way.”

  Will coughed and folded his arms.

  “Like by hiking!” Jesse protested.

  “Forgive him,” I said, whacking Will’s shoulder. “We’re protective of each other, but after this whole thing, Will might be on overdrive.”

  “You guys should come over,” Jesse sugggested. “Meet Murph and Ricky. We can hang out. Get to know each other better.”

  Will gave Jesse a half smile. “Yeah . . . Okay. Let’s do that.”

  We all marched back out to the field in front of the Main Lodge where we were met by Karen, the Pauls, and one of the police officers. The second officer was loading an exhausted-looking, handcuffed Ben into the police SUV. Instinctively, I stepped back into the circle of Gildas.

  “Zelda,” the officer said, approaching me, “I know you need to talk to your parents when they return, but do you want to press charges against Ben?” She had serious, but kind eyes. “You can always drop the charges after you speak with your parents.”

  Squinting, I asked, “Why are you loading him into the car if I might not press charges?”

  She nodded at Jesse. “Ben broke Jesse’s nose. That’s third-degree assault—a felony. What I need to know is if you also want to press charges.”

  Biting my lip, I shifted from one foot to the other. “What happens if I don’t?”

  “We process him for the assault . . . but nothing goes on his record for what he did to you.”

  I shuddered. “And if I do?”

  “Then it’s added to the list of charges. The nose-breaking third-degree assault charge is a felony, but with no priors, it’ll probably get knocked down to a misdemeanor. Even with the fifth-degree sexual assault in the woods, it’ll all probably end up as community service. Maybe a fine.”

  But a sexual assault charge wouldn’t look good on a background check, right? And if he got convicted, who would hire him to teach anymore? And if the story got out, he might not have a future at any reputable improv company, either. I shuddered again. “I don’t want to be in charge of someone’s future like that.”

  She nodded. “Sounds like he didn’t mind being in charge of yours. But it’s your choice.”

  “Detective?”

  We turned at the sound of Paul DeLuca’s voice. He waved her over. She glanced at me. “I’ll be right back.”

  I watched her stride over to the Pauls, but their voices were too low to overhear. She flipped open her notebook, jotted something down, nodded, and strode back over to me.

  “Mr. DeLuca and Mr. Paulsen would like me to tell you that they would be happy to let you stay at camp if you don’t press charges against Ben.”

  I couldn’t help it—I whipped my head around to look at them. They were staring at me. Nausea roiled around in my stomach. I jerked my head back and studied my dusty, Chaco-ed feet.

  I could stay at camp! I could maybe even perform. It was what I wanted, right?

  But if I stayed and performed, it was at the cost of saying what Ben had done and said was acceptable behavior.

  I thought about startling at the sound of the door. Of the mental anguish at rehearsal. Fear for Ben’s next move. Even the worries I had about Jesse’s intentions. It had only been a week, and Ben had done all that.

  “No,” I said finally, biting my thumbnail. “I don’t want to stay. I want to press charges. I just . . . I worry Ben isn’t sorry. That the Pauls aren’t sorry. Like, no one will learn a lesson if Ben just walks free. I want the Pauls to take camper concerns seriously. And I don’t want Ben to do this to other people. I don’t want Ben to go to jail. I just want him to notice. I want him to get help. I don’t want what he did to be a normal thing.”

  She handed me her card. “Call me here when your parents come. We’ll work it all out.”

  I ran my fingers over the embossed police seal. “Detective Kristi Margolis.”

  Detective Margolis smiled and led me a few steps away. “You going to be okay? Because I can take you into protective custody if you don’t feel safe at the Boy Scout camp.”

  “The Boy Scout camp is perfect,” I said. “They’re great guys.”

  She smiled. “Great guys are out there. Glad you found some. Talk soon.”

  She shook my hand and exchanged a few words with the Pauls that resulted in Paul Paulsen aggressively rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes yet again. Then the detective joined her partner in the SUV. I wasn’t going to watch as they drove away, but at the sound of a thud, my head jerked up reflexively. It was Ben. As the SUV passed us, Ben’s face twisted in pain, and when he caught my eye, he yelled, “Elllllllllllllieeeeeeeee!”

  I broke eye contact immediately, but even as the ranks closed in to protect me, it felt like cold water had been dumped on my head. Then I frowned. I didn’t want my last act with Ben to be hiding from him. I stepped between Paloma and Hanna, filled my lungs with air, and shouted as the SUV drove off, “My name is Zelda!”

  Dust from the gravel road filled the air, and soon, the SUV disappeared.

  I let out a huge breath, then turned to the Gildas and hugged each one of them. Then I hugged Jonas. Then Will held me close. Then I shouldered my backpack, and Jesse and I reached for each other’s hands.

  I faced the Pauls. They looked at me expectantly.

  “I wish it hadn’t turned out this way,” Paul DeLuca said. “If you just hadn’t turned violent there at the end.”

  “Yeah. That’s the regrettable part in all this,” I said. “Wait!” We all turned and watched someone tumble down the front steps of the Lodge.

  “High Ropes Jake!” I yelled and waved.

  “Oh yeah. That guy,” Jesse muttered as Jake caught up.

  “Where are you going?” he gasped.

  “I’m gone,” I said, trying hard to keep bitterness out of my voice. “Because I hit Ben. Zero tolerance policy.”

  “What?”

  “I’ll just be across the road—I’m a Boy Scout now.”

  He tugged at his ears. “Look, I—I’m sorry. For not defending you. I saw what was happening and I—I didn’t do anything.”

  “You’re right. You didn’t.”

  We stared at each other for a moment.

  “Well?” he asked.

  “Well what?” I frowned.

  “You say, ‘It’s okay, Jake.’ You forgive me.”

  I looked over my shoulder at the Gildas, whose disbelieving faces mirrored mine.

  “No, I don’t. I asked you to help me. Multiple times. But you were afraid for yourself. That’s fine, but I don’t have to be okay with that. I needed you, and you didn’t stand up.”

  He furrowed his brow. “I said I was sorry.”

  “And I’m saying, I’m not ready to accept your apology. So take that sorry and do better next time.”

  He folded his arms. “I ran and got the Pauls.”

  We were seriously arguing about this?

  “Thank you for that. I don’t know what you want from me, Jake.” I held up my hands. “Go forth and be good onto others, child.”

  He huffed. “You’re being kind of bitchy, Ellie.”

  The Gildas stepped forward.

  “Zelda. It’s Zelda. Look. You were brave when you ran
and got the Pauls. But I needed you to be brave a lot earlier, okay? Maybe next time you will be.”

  He rolled his eyes and half stomped away.

  “That guy was rude,” Emily muttered.

  Paul Paulsen shook his head. “This was a lot easier when just boys came here.”

  I spluttered. “I bet it wasn’t. But you’ve never had anyone willing to stand up before.” I gave the Pauls a wan smile. “Time to motor.”

  I turned to the Gildas. I was trying to come up with something to say that encompassed my gratitude for everything they’d done, but instead, Emily exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! I almost forgot!” and pulled a CD case out of her bag.

  I gasped, flipping it over. “You’re not giving me Pacific Coast Whale Sounds.”

  “It’s a loan.” She smiled. “Until we see each other again.”

  I blinked hard to keep the tears back.

  So did she. “Turns out,” she said, her voice watery, “we were our own Oprah.”

  I nodded and took her hand.

  Jesse lifted my suitcase, and I tightened the straps of my backpack.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  I clutched Pacific Coast Whale Sounds. I didn’t have a CD player, but it didn’t matter. In the CD, there was strength, and hilarity, and love. I found Jesse’s warm, brown eyes. In them, lived patience, and kindness, and hope. “I’m ready,” I said.

  It was a five-minute walk all the way down the dirt road to the gate, and Karen and Jesse and I were quiet the whole time. They seemed to sense I needed it.

  But when we crossed into Boy Scout territory, a pile of ten-year-olds surrounded us.

  “Jesse! Jesse! Jesse! What happened to your nose?”

  “Hey, Webelos. I broke it . . . Fighting a dragon. I want you to meet Zelda. She’s staying with Karen for the rest of the week.”

  “Ooh!” one cooed. “Is she your girlfriend?”

  He met my eyes. I smiled. “Yes, she is,” I said, “and I’m a dragon slayer, too.”

  Now they only had eyes for me. “There aren’t really dragons,” a particularly serious one protested.

  “Well, I guess I can’t teach you if you don’t believe in them.” I waggled my eyebrows at them.

  They shifted, seeming unsure.

  “I can also teach you improv,” I said, “how about that?”

  “Ooh! My brother does improv!” one yelled.

  “It’s funny!” “It doesn’t have to be funny,” I said, “but it can be. If you learn the skills, it makes you a better listener, a better friend, more quick-witted, and more courageous.”

  One kid squinted. “How about we learn dragon slaying instead?”

  Jesse laughed, then winced, touching his nose. “You need the courage for the dragon slaying. Let’s let Zelda settle in. But then maybe some improv tomorrow?”

  They scampered off, and we turned toward Karen’s cabin.

  “This might be really fun, actually,” I told Jesse. “Shaping the future. Encouraging boys to be like you.”

  Jesse’s eyes closed briefly. “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  I smiled slowly. “It’s true.”

  “Okay, you two. Some ground rules.” I’d forgotten Karen was there. “No being in a cabin just the two of you. No kissing in front of the Boy Scouts. No—”

  “Uh, Karen?” Jesse interrupted.

  “Yes?”

  “It’s me. You’ve known me since I was twelve.”

  “But—”

  “I promise. We will be totally above board.”

  She pursed her lips. “No Boy Scout camp babies.”

  My face turned red. “No one wants anything to do with that.”

  Jesse and Karen raised their eyebrows at me.

  I tripped on my feet. “Well, you know, the babies part. The other part.” I shook my head and buried it in my hands. “Ughhh.”

  Karen patted my shoulder. “Best to stop talking, hon.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  When we arrived at her cabin, a version of Gilda Radner with several small rooms, she said, “Go get settled, Zelda. I’ll be in the infirmary. Right here. Clanging around. Popping in at any time. Also calling your moms about this whole broken nose situation, Jess.”

  Jesse winced. “Clang around for a while first, okay? I should be the one to call.”

  Karen nodded once and opened the door to my room—a set of bunk beds and a dresser with a mirror above it on the wall. Jesse and I stepped in and she made a big production of leaving the door open.

  “Welcome home,” he said. I kissed him.

  “Clanging around!” Karen called.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  “Are you sure you’re okay if Ricky and I go to the show?” Murph asked, tugging at his baseball cap.

  I nodded, kneeling to double knot my hiking boots. “Absolutely. I need a firsthand report on how it all goes down. And tell me if they do my cold open. It’s about a pilot and circus performers and a sleepwalking bear.”

  “Okay. Consider us your eyes.” Murph grinned.

  “And ears.” Ricky nodded stoically.

  “Especially ears,” I said, lightly punching Ricky in the shoulder. He pretended to be hurt, and Murph and I laughed.

  “Okay! Ready to go?” Jesse trotted up to meet us.

  “Wait a minute,” Murph said, putting his hands on his hips and looking back and forth between Jesse and me. “Hiking boots? Backpacks? Headlamps? Now I see why you’re okay with us going to the show,” Murph said. His eyes narrowed “You two are going on a sexy two-person night hike!”

  “Not that sexy,” Karen called. “Everyone in this camp will be back in two hours, and I expect you will be, too.” She squinted one eye and and curled her pointer finger to beckon Jesse closer. I couldn’t hear her talking, but a stern-looking monologue and several severe hand gestures later, Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and jogged over to me, chagrined.

  “What was that all about?” I asked as everyone waved goodbye and headed off toward the improv show.

  He sighed and reshouldered his backpack.

  “It’s embarrassing.” “It’s okay. You can tell me things. I’m your fourth person, remember?”

  “I’ve told you plenty of things now even my moms and Micky don’t know.”

  “Okay then.” I clicked on my headlamp, adjusted it in place, then smiled. “Tell me this thing.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck again. “She said that there are . . . c-condoms in the infirmary but she doesn’t want to encourage us to do anything, and that humans are never as fertile again as they are as teenagers, and so if we insist on gambling with our futures, we should at least use protection, but I didn’t hear it from her. Then she said there are—” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t—”

  I laughed and took his arm. “Please tell me.”

  He sighed. “She said there are at least five hundred other things two human bodies can do to each other that aren’t sex and maybe starting there would be a good idea.”

  I laughed, but then I flashed back to Ben pinning me against the tree, and my face fell.

  Jesse reached over and squeezed my hand, which was grasping his arm. “Tell me.”

  I tried not to look at the trees. Tried not to remember the trapped feeling and the panic. I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Um. I want to tell you. I will tell you. I just—I need a minute. I think . . . I think forward motion will help.”

  Arms linked, we hiked in silence for a while. I focused on the nighttime sounds of the mountain—crickets, the wind in the leaves, the occasional owl hoots.

  “Where are we going?” he finally asked.

  I straightened up. “It’s a short hike, really, but steep. Lots of switchbacks. It’ll get us up high fast. I found it a couple days ago when you were all merit-badging the afternoon away.”

  He laughed. “Amazing.”

  Soon we were both huffing and puffing, and I dropped his arm to use both of mine to propel me forward. My l
egs started vibrating. Panting, Jesse suggested a break. He leaned against a tree, and I gulped down water from my Nalgene and tried to steady my breathing. “When Ben touched me—”

  I felt Jesse’s body tense.

  “He touched me places no one has touched me before. And when you said that thing Karen said about the five hundred things people can do to each other that aren’t sex . . . I thought about him. But I don’t want that to be the thing I think about. I want to think about happy things. I want to think about you.”

  Jesse was quiet. “I want you to think about me, too. How are we—you? We? Going to do that?”

  I clipped my water back onto my backpack. “Not exactly sure . . .” I glanced at his face—his deep brown eyes caught mine, but then he bit his lip, worried. My core felt warm. Suddenly, I felt steady. Grounded. “But I think tonight’s the night to find out. You ready?”

  “Uh, yeah.” He stumbled, then regained his footing.

  The rest of the hike was quiet with both of us lost in our own thoughts.

  As we approached a bend in the trees, I stopped him. “It looks different in the dark, but I think this is it. You’ve seriously never been up here before?”

  He shook his head.

  “Okay. Turn off your headlamp. And take my hand . . .”

  We turned the corner and stepped out onto a large, flat overhang of rock. When I had been there a couple days before, I could see for miles, but at night, we were treated to a bright, full moon, and more stars than I’d ever seen in my whole life.

  “Oh,” Jesse breathed, and my lungs expanded as big as the sky. He squeezed my hand. “Thank you for bringing me here,” he whispered.

  The air was cool, and I welcomed his warm lips on my cheek. “I’m glad I finally got to show you something you hadn’t seen before,” I murmured.

  He smiled. “You want to sit?”

  I unzipped my backpack and pulled out a soft, thick wool blanket I’d found in Karen’s cabin. “How’s this?”

  We took off our boots and settled ourselves side by side on the blanket, stretching out our legs. Jesse opened his backpack and plucked out a little chocolate and more water. I happily accepted the chocolate and kissed each of his eyelids. “You know, I’ve been thinking about that section of the woods that was burned down by the fire.”