by Amy Cummings
He waited for a measure of understanding, but the three men only looked to each other and then busted out laughing.
“Hell, man, she’s not even your first wife yet,” Orson said. “When you’re on wife number three, you won’t even remember her name.”
Jim and Bill laughed again. Raymond remained stone-faced.
“Oh, don’t take things so seriously,” Orson said. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re in the wrong business if you want to be all lovie dovie. Look, if you’re just needing to get your rocks off, bring a girl to the office. Why do you think you have that nice leather couch?”
The other men laughed again.
Raymond’s mind flashed to a time just the previous week, when he’d seen a young lady leaving Jim’s office.
A young lady who was not Jim’s wife.
Orson shook his head in disgust and stepped closer to Raymond. His voice was low but held a certain weight.
“Look, I won’t say anything to the partners about this, but I will tell you that it better not happen again. You have to decide, Ray, if you want a career or this girl. You know how it is. You’re married to the job. The wives just have to accept that and be grateful for the money you bring home.”
He patted Raymond on the shoulder like a father just finishing up a pep talk to his son.
A twisted, backward, perverted pep talk.
Raymond felt sick to his stomach as the men walked away.
“Come in an hour earlier tomorrow,” Orson called over his shoulder. “And get those documents reviewed tonight!”
Suddenly Raymond felt dirty. He looked around the restaurant and shook his head. Why had he taken Kinsley to a place he associated with work? Was he that attached to his job—even off the clock he wanted to be close?
He thought of the guys’ words.
Is that how he wanted to end up? Was that what he wanted out of life?
He stalked back to the table and took Kinsley by the hand.
“What’s going on?” she said.
“Do you really want fancy?” he said.
Kinsley shook her head. “No!”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
He looked at the iced teas that had been delivered, pulled out his wallet, and threw a twenty down.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”
*****
Raymond didn’t mention the encounter with the guys from his office. Even with that thrown in the mix, he managed to relax and enjoy the rest of the afternoon with Kinsley. The date day proved to be what both needed. It ended with a relaxing, hand-in-hand walk around the pond at the local park.
They pulled up to their house the same time Braxton arrived at his.
“Your Dom’s home,” Raymond said with a smirk.
Kinsley blushed.
“Care if I meet you inside? I need a few minutes to talk with him, actually,” Raymond said.
Kinsley looked concerned.
“Don’t worry, pretty girl,” Raymond said. “Nothing is wrong. I just need some advice.”
He leaned across the car’s console and kissed her.
“Mmm,” she said. “That was nice. But is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Just guy talk.”
She remained skeptical but blew him a kiss as she got out of the car. “I’ll be waiting on you inside. That was quite a date you took me on today. You know I’m going to put out, right?”
Raymond burst into laughter.
“Oh, I’ll hurry home. Believe me!”
He got out of the car and hurried across the lawn to catch Braxton just as he was headed inside.
“Hey, Braxton,” he said.
“Hi, Raymond. You’re home early.”
Raymond knew Braxton hadn’t meant anything by the comment, but it still stung—even thought it was true. At five o’clock, that was at least two hours earlier than Raymond’s normal arrival.
“I took the day off,” he said.
Braxton stopped at the door and glanced at Raymond with an approving smile. “Come on in, my friend.”
Once inside, Braxton laid his briefcase on the kitchen island, washed his hands, and opened his fridge.
“Beer?”
Braxton grabbed a bottle from the fridge, popped the top, and passed it to his guest. He then got another one. He tipped it upward in a toast.
“To neighbors and friends,” he said.
Raymond clinked his bottle against Braxton’s.
They walked through the living room and out the backdoor, sitting on the patio.
The sun shimmered off the pool. It was warm but pleasant outside. The cold bottle felt good in Raymond’s hand.
“So what’s up?” Braxton asked.
Raymond stared out across the pool. A pink flamingo innertube floated by, its eyes covered by comically oversized sunglasses.
“Little Kinsley likes that one,” Braxton said before taking a sip of his beer. “She looks pretty cute riding it.”
“She looks cute all the time,” Raymond said.
“I know that’s right,” Braxton said.
More silence passed.
“Look, I know we don’t know each other well,” Raymond said. “But I’m at a crossroads and I really need to talk it through. I’m sorry, man. I know you’re busy.”
Raymond started to stand.
“No, not at all,” Braxton said. “Please, sit. We have plenty of beer in the fridge if we need reinforcements. I’m on your schedule.”
Raymond lowered himself back into the chair.
He took a drink, using that time to gather his words. He wasn’t sure where to begin so he just started blurting it all out.
“I love Kinsley so much,” he said. “But I don’t always do a good job of showing it.”
“None of us are perfect,” Braxton said.
“It’s more than that,” Raymond said. “I’ve neglected her for so long. Gosh, she isn’t even my fiancé yet. Not officially. I think of her as more, though. I think of her as my wife. You know?”
Braxton nodded but remained silent.
The flamingo made another pass, bumping up against a beach ball and scooting it along the top of the crystal-clear water.
The summer-linked smell of pool chemicals swirled in the air, stirred from the water that was being moved by the pump that hummed quietly in the background.
Raymond recounted the chance meeting from the restaurant.
“That’s not the kind of life I want,” he said. “That’s not the kind of life I want for Kinsley.”
“Can I show you something?” Braxton said as he stood. He sat the beer on the glass-topped patio table.
“Sure,” Raymond said, following suit.
Raymond followed Braxton through the house to the master bedroom. Braxton picked up a framed picture from his nightstand, looked at the woman’s face lovingly, then handed it to Raymond.
“My Nichole,” Braxton said.
Raymond looked at the picture then back to Braxton.
“When I started out in the financial industry, I was going to take it by storm. Be some sort of maverick trader. Make millions. Maybe billions. Really acquire it all. I spent a few years like that, working long hours and sometimes just sleeping at the office. It was quite an office, too. You should have seen it. Top floor of a high rise. Big glass windows. Could see the whole city. Really impressive.”
Raymond pictured it in his mind. It was much like the office he dreamed of having. He was still a few floors below that top, though.
“I only saw the light when Nichole was diagnosed. That gave us nine months. Nine wonderful months, but still not nearly as long as I wanted. As I needed.”
Braxton wiped moisture from his eye. Raymond didn’t know what to do. He only knew the man as a calm and collected, suave Dom. The one that made Kinsley swoon. The one other girls came over to see.
The display of vulnerability took Raymond by surprise.
“After Nichole died, I never once thought, ‘Gee
, if only I’d worked a little harder. Spent a little more time at the office.’ But not a day goes by where I don’t wish I’d spent more time with her. Every day. Still.”
Raymond swallowed the lump in his throat and handed the picture back to Braxton.
Braxton looked down at it, smiled, and caressed the woman’s face. He sat it back on the nightstand and cleared his throat.
They walked to the patio and sat. The flamingo was still smiling but the beachball had gotten stuck against the railing on the pool’s stairs.
“So what about…you know, what you do?” Raymond asked.
“Being a Daddy?” Braxton said with a sly grin. He picked up his beer and took a drink. He smacked his lips together before answering. “Nichole was a Little. My Little. She told me before she left to find my baby girl. That there is another one out there for me. Someone who needs me. I haven’t found her yet. Sure, I play around and have a ton of fun. But they all know I’m just messing around. Looking for her. None of the cuties who come over are mine.”
Raymond grinned wide. He had to admire Braxton’s self-confidence and sense of fun. The guy was living out his dream, despite overwhelming heartbreak.
“That includes Kinsley,” Braxton said. “She isn’t mine, Raymond.”
Raymond shifted uncomfortably. “That’s another thing,” he said. “I am lamenting that I don’t have this traditional relationship, yet I’m so freaking turned on by the last few days that I can’t even see straight! What’s wrong with me?”
Braxton laughed. “Welcome to the club, brother.”
This time Raymond chuckled.
“But seriously,” Braxton said. “This kinky stuff is fun. Right?”
Raymond shook his head in agreement.
Braxton leaned in. “But it isn’t life. It’s a part of life. Right now. And it’s awesome. It’s okay to color outside the lines. I believe a couple who plays together stays together. You’ve got to keep things spicy.”
“I think you’re right,” Raymond said. “But there’s nothing wrong with me for finding this hot, right? It doesn’t mean I love Kinsley any less, does it?”
“Less? I’d venture a guess that you feel closer to her now then you have in a long time,” Braxton said.
Raymond confirmed the hunch with a slight nod and easy grin.
Braxton shrugged. “There you go. You can still have a relationship built on love and trust and be as kinky as hell. That’s different than what that douchebag at your office is doing.”
Raymond thought of Jim. He’d told Braxton about him earlier when spilling his guts.
“I doubt his poor wife is in on that. He’s taking advantage of her trust. Being a selfish bastard and only thinking of himself,” Braxton said.
Somewhere from a nearby backyard the sound of a sprinkler coming on interrupted the conversation. Children yelled and laughed. Both men listened for a minute with approving smiles.
Finally, Braxton got back to the topic at hand. “Nothing wrong with being kinky as long as everyone’s on board. Just know it moves in waves. Like that flamingo out there. The sex comes and goes. One day, kids might come. You’ll have to shift priorities. For a while. Then you have that second honeymoon. Maybe things get as kinky as hell again.”
“Would be nice,” Raymond said.
“But it’s not all about that,” Braxton said. “Who’s going to be there with you at the birthday parties? By your side for all the milestones? Who is going to attend the weddings and funerals with you? And when the sex fades, and it will, and life settles down, who will still be there? One day the cycle will come to a close. Things will wrap up. Who will be with you at the end?”
Raymond couldn’t take his eyes off Braxton. He couldn’t even blink. His hand shook as he tried to take a drink of the beer, so he lowered it into his lap.
Braxton leaned back in his chair. He took a drink and sat his beer down.
“It won’t be any of those guys from your office,” he said. “It won’t be your career. That firm will cast you aside as soon as you’re too old to be of any use to them. Once it’s chewed you up.
“I’m just saying…don’t wait until you get a diagnosis to get your priorities right. Don’t make the mistake I did.”
Raymond stood and extended his hand. “Thank you, Braxton.”
Braxton stood and the two shook.
Before Braxton eased his grip, he looked Raymond square in the eyes. “You have a decision to make, friend.”
“Yeah,” Raymond said quietly. “A big one.”
As Raymond was leaving, Braxton called out after him.
“I’m having a little party here Saturday night. Why don’t you bring Kinsley? You two would have a ton of fun. And, I do mean Little, if you catch my drift.”
Raymond was excited to tell Kinsley about the offer. He knew she would love it. It sounded fun to him, too.
But first, Raymond had a decision to make. Perhaps the most important one of his life.
And Kinsley’s.
Chapter Twenty
For the first time since starting the arrangement with Braxton, Kinsley was nervous about going to his house.
She’d had an amazing time with Raymond the day before. The fact that he’d actually called into work, spent the entire day with her—save for his meeting with Braxton—meant the world to her.
It wasn’t because she’d had such a great time with Raymond that she was hesitant of seeing Braxton. It wasn’t even Braxton she was leery of.
It was the two other Littles who were coming over to play.
Sydney and London.
“You’ll have fun,” Raymond told her as he walked her to the front door.
Kinsley snorted before grumbling a retort.
“Now, now,” Raymond said, “you don’t want me to tell Uncle Braxton you’re throwing a fit again, do you?”
Kinsley gulped.
She most certainly did not!
The thought of being diapered in front of the other girls embarrassed her.
“Besides,” Raymond said, “this will give you practice for the party Saturday.”
“The party?” Kinsley said.
“The party,” he simply said. “Saturday. Just some Littles and their Bigs coming to Braxton’s place to have some fun.”
“Am I going?” Kinsley asked.
“We’re going,” Raymond said. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Oh my gosh! You’re totally getting into this!” she said with a smirk.
Braxton neither confirmed nor denied it. There was no need to. She’d already seen his reactions played out in the bedroom. He’d confessed his newfound kinkiness.
Braxton opened the front door and Raymond kissed Kingsley before sending her in with a pat on the bottom.
Inside, Kinsley was relieved to find London and Sydney had not arrived yet. She hoped something had changed and they weren’t coming. Her hopes were dashed once Braxton started planning their day.
“It just so happens I don’t have any pending work today. Good thing since I’ll have my hands full with three Littles.”
“Oh, the girls are still coming,” Kinsley said, trying to sound as disinterested as possible.
“Yes,” Braxton said. “You’ll have to share me today. Think you can behave?”
Kinsley wanted to stick her tongue out. Of course she could behave. She was a grown woman after all. The fact that she was eagerly walking to the table where finger paints had been laid out made her keep the observation to herself.
“It will be fun,” she said with a flip of her hair.
“I agree,” Braxton said. “Sit down and start painting. I’ll get you some juice, cutie.”
He retrieved three sippy cups from the cupboard and twisted the lid off one. He filled it with apple juice, fixed the lid back in place, and sat it before Kinsley.
“How was last night?” he said.
He waited for Kinsley to recount the heart-to-heart conversation she’d had with Raymond. He was hoping to
hear of a major breakthrough. Kinsley only shrugged.
Figuring Raymond was still making his decision, he smiled pleasantly but said nothing more of it. It was evident Kinsley had no clue what he was referring to.
“What are you painting?” he said.
“A puppy dog!” Kinsley said.
“I bet it will be cute. Just like you,” Braxton said.
The doorbell rang, causing Kinsley to groan. Braxton flashed her an inquisitive glance and Kinsley covered her lips.
Braxton went to answer it, leaving Kinsley to stew over the fact that she was about to have other Littles to contend with.
A moment later, London and Sydney skipped into the room, obviously excited to be with their Uncle Braxton.
My Uncle Braxton, Kinsley thought.
She realized it was absurd to be jealous. Braxton wasn’t her boyfriend or anything. While she found him hot and sexy, she didn’t even want a relationship with him beyond what they had. Sure, she would gladly fool around with him if Raymond was on board—and by all indications he was!
No, Kinsley was not in love with Braxton. She was with Raymond. But she enjoyed the thought of being Braxton’s special Little. The realization that she had to share that distinction didn’t sit well with her. Not to mention she feared the other girls would judge her. Kinsley was new to the lifestyle. She’d barely explored it at all. London and Sydney were seasoned. What would they think of her?
She noticed Sydney’s gait was hampered by a thickness between her legs.
Diaper.
Kinsley felt a bit better. At least the Little wouldn’t make fun of Kinsley if she knew of the diaper punishment.
“Uncle Braxton told us we had a new friend to play with!” Sydney said. “Yay!”
She went in for a hug but Kinsley reared back as if dodging a punch.
“Sydney, she is nervous so go easy on her,” Braxton said. He then turned to Kinsley. “Can I talk to you in the other room, please?”
Kinsley sighed as she followed the man. Once they were alone, Braxton cocked his head in frustration. “Okay, let’s hear it. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” he said. “Are you nervous, jealous, or both?”
Kinsley grew embarrassed. How had Braxton read her so perfectly?