by T. J. Klune
“You guys,” Courtney said.
“Oh please, Tina. Your personality is like a—”
“You guys,” Courtney said.
“My personality? You are the absolute worst—”
“You guys!” Courtney shouted.
We all looked at her.
She had gone completely pale. She lifted a trembling finger. She said, “It’s. Him.”
We all looked where she was pointing.
And yeah. Fuck my life.
Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart stood on the other side of the street, talking with a small group of people.
We all screamed. Me for entirely different reasons than the others.
He looked up, startled.
The entire fan club was waving maniacally at him.
Except for me. I was sinking down in my seat.
Ryan waved back and held up a finger.
“Does that mean he’s coming over here?” Nicole said weakly. “Oh dear gods. I think my underwear just fell off.”
“Nicole,” Tina hissed. “Keep your comments to yourself! Be a respectable fucking lady, for fuck’s sake!”
“Mine did too,” Mary said, patting Nicole’s arm.
“Mervin, where are you going?” Griselda asked, and damn her for noticing me trying to flee quietly into the crowd.
“Uh. Nowhere? I mean, somewhere. I just remembered I have an important business meeting. For business. To discuss my business.”
Mary grabbed my arm and pulled me back to my seat. “Don’t be so shy, Mervin. That can wait. Who knows when we’ll ever get this chance again? It’s not as if—oh my gods, he’s coming over.”
Well shit.
I looked over and yep. There he was. Walking across the street like he didn’t have a care in the world. To the outsider, he held himself tall and proud and looked every bit the knight commander that he was.
But I knew him. I’d been watching him (like a creep) for a long time. I saw the fake set of his smile. The slight purple lines under his eyes. The stiff hold of his shoulders. He was stressed and tired and confused.
“Ladies,” he said, glancing over the table. “And gentleman.” He smiled at me.
They all giggled.
I didn’t because I was too busy wondering if anyone would notice if I made myself invisible. It was almost worth the risk.
Tina, the awful person that she was, stood and posed, sticking her chest out as far as it could go. She looked like the back end of a horse. “Knight Commander,” she all but purred. “How very kind of you to take time out of your busy schedule to come and mingle with the ladies.”
“Hate you too, bitch,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Are you some kind of social group?” he asked.
Tina preened. Like a peacock. “Not just any social group,” she said. “This is the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. We are the largest Foxheart Fan Club in all of the City of Lockes. We’re the Foxy Ladies.”
“Well,” Mary said, patting my hand. “The Foxy People. We don’t discriminate.”
“Fan Club?” Ryan asked, sounding adorably shocked. Then I remembered he was an asshole and I was pissed off at him, so he wasn’t adorably anything. “Oh wow. He wasn’t kidding when he said that.”
“Who?” Tina demanded.
“Sam. He’s a… friend of mine.” There was a tightening around his eyes and I wanted to shout that we sure as shit didn’t seem like friends yesterday, you motherfucker. I kept that bit to myself. Barely.
And almost all the ladies sighed. “Sam of Wilds?” Mary said. “He knows about us?”
Deidre burst into tears. “He’s… just… standing… so… close.”
“Can you sign something?” Nicole demanded. “This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.”
“Heh,” Ryan said. “Whoa.”
“Nicole,” Tina barked. “Rein your slut back in!”
“I can’t believe Sam knows about us,” Griselda said in awe.
“How?” Courtney cried. “How does he know? I want answers! I want him here. I changed my mind. I’m no longer about Rystin. HaveHeart forever!”
“HaveHeart is where pairings go to die,” Tina growled. “Long live Rystin!”
“I… just… want… to… touch… him,” Deidre sobbed.
“Whaaaaat is even happening right now?” Ryan said.
“Rystin is Justin and Ryan,” Mary explained.
“And HaveHeart is Sam Haversford and Ryan Foxheart,” Griselda said.
“Rystin and HaveHeart?” he said faintly. “I don’t even….”
“I’m a Sam Girl,” Mary told him. “Because of how he looks in tight pants. Edible. Edible is how he looks in tight pants.”
“Oh my gods,” I whispered feverishly. “This is happening right in front of me.”
“And I’m a Foxy Lady,” Tina said. “Because of reasons.” She stared at his chest. Everyone understood her reasons. Even me.
He looked back at me. “So, you a Foxy Lady too? Or a Sam Girl?”
“What,” I said, dropping my voice as low as it could go. “No. Not even. Shut your mouth.”
He frowned. “Do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”
And with that, everyone at the table turned slowly to stare at me.
“Nope,” I said. “I don’t know you. I’m just here to do business. For my business.”
“And what business is that?” he asked.
And because I couldn’t help it, I said, “None of your.”
And he laughed. And my underwear almost fell off.
“Sweet molasses,” I said weakly.
“Are you sure we’ve never met?” he asked. “You remind me of someone.”
“I have that kind of face,” I said.
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t see it. Behind all that hair.”
“It’s a beard.”
“I can see that,” he said. “It’s very long.”
And so I leered, “Yeah it is,” because my life. Then I coughed horribly and oh my gods. “I mean thank you! I’m proud of its length. And girth. Holy crap. Shut up, S—Mervin.”
“What’s a Smervin?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Oh no! Would you look at the time? I have another business meeting I really must attend to. For business.”
“It’s Mervin,” Mary said. “And forgive him. He’s just nervous right now. He has a little bit of a crush on you.”
“Mary!” I shouted. “You traitor. I do not! I am not a Foxy Lady.”
“So you’re a Sam Girl,” he said, sounding amused. Like an asshole.
“Yes,” I said. “Total Sam Girl. The Sammiest Girl who has ever lived.”
“So, HaveHeart, then?”
“I think Sam does just fine on his own.” Ha! Flora Bora Slam, motherfucker!
“I’ll be sure to let him know,” he said, cocking his head at me.
That pissed me off. “You do that. I’m sure he just can’t wait to talk to you.”
And boy did he flinch at that one.
“We’re so sorry to hear about Justin,” Tina said, commandeering the conversation. And, just because she could, her eyes filled with tears and she sniffed. “You must be so devastated.”
“Yes,” he said tightly. “It’s been rough. But we’re going to get him back.”
“And then you’ll be married!” she said, clapping her hands, tears drying instantly. “It’ll be the wedding of the century with flowers and tears and cake and I love yous and duck as the main course with greens, and there will be balloons and fairy lights and vows where you say he will be yours forever, and you will look into his eyes and sigh.”
“That’s… a lot of words,” Ryan said. “You remind me a bit of Sam.”
“I will murder everything you love,” I snarled at him.
“What?” he asked.
Shit. “That guy behind you. He was kicking a puppy. But no need to turn around and look! He ran away and so did
the puppy and that is the end of that story.”
“Probably no duck, though,” Ryan said, turning back to Tina. “Some people might be allergic. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“Oh, come on!” I said loudly.
“Excuse me?” Ryan said, looking confused.
“Puppy kicker came back. But he ran away again. Man, that guy is so fast.”
“Mervin,” Tina said, grinding her teeth. “Would you at least try and act like a normal person?”
“Only if you try and find a way to disappear and never return.”
She turned back to Ryan. “I must apologize for Mervin,” she said. “He’s not as… cultured… as the rest of us are used to.”
“I’ll show you cultured,” I said, and Ryan laughed again, quickly covering it up with a cough as Tina frowned.
“You’ll see,” she said. “You’ll get Justin back, slay the dragon, and then you’ll be married.”
“I guess,” he said. He smiled at her, but it was forced now. They couldn’t see it because he was good at hiding. But I saw right through it. I almost felt bad for our fight earlier. The weight of Justin’s kidnapping was weighing hard on him.
He graciously agreed to sign autographs before he left, saying he needed to finish preparing for his trip. When he got to me, I just sat there and stared at him. The girls were too busy gushing to each other over what Ryan had written to listen to us.
“Do you need me to sign anything?” he asked.
“This must be fun for you,” I said.
“It’s not bad,” he said. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I just… I swear I know you from somewhere. Where did you say you were from again?”
“I didn’t,” I said. I was starting to feel really sweaty because he was studying me way too closely and knowing my luck, my beard would fall off, followed by my underwear.
“Oh, where are you from, then?” he asked.
“I grew up in the slums,” I said, voice harsh. “You wouldn’t know anything about that.”
He looked surprised. “You did? How old are you?”
“Eighty-seven.”
“Right. So, early twenties?”
“Why?”
He shrugged, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Maybe that’s where I would have known you—” He cut himself off.
My jaw dropped. “You grew up in the slums?” How had I not known that? How had I not known him?
“Look, do you want me to sign anything for you?” He was starting to fidget.
“Here,” Mary said, sliding a piece of paper in front of me. “Mervin is so forgetful sometimes. And I know he’d be furious if you didn’t give him your autograph.”
“I wouldn’t be furious,” I assured him. “There would be no level of fury.”
“Good to know,” he muttered. He reached down and took the pen from Mary and wrote something on the page and slid it over to me. He quickly said his good-byes and, with one last look at me, headed back into the crowd.
“What did you do?” Tina growled at me. “You chased him away? How dare you! I have half a mind to ban you for life, Mervin!”
Normally, I would have swooped back in and crushed her verbally. Normally, I would have tripped her with my words until she was stumbling and yelling. That’s how the meetings always ended.
But not this time.
Because this time, I had looked down at the autograph Ryan had signed for me.
And all powers of speech fled as if I’d never had them at all.
To Mervin:
Don’t worry.
I’m a Sam Girl too.
Our secret?
Ryan Foxheart
CHAPTER 11
And the Adventure Begins!
I DIDN’T have time to do any amount of research when I got back to the castle. I thought for sure I could sneak back in and try to find out anything I could about Ryan Foxheart before he came to Castle Lockes. I knew he’d been conscripted into the Knights of Verania after serving in the King’s Army, but before that, I really didn’t know much.
But as soon as I crossed back into the castle, Morgan grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back down into the labs despite my protests.
“How did your secret meeting go?” he asked as he shut the door behind us.
“Secretly,” I said.
“You still won’t tell me what it’s for?”
“Not even if you held a sword to my neck.”
“That bad?”
“Worse,” I said. “But why even ask? You could easily find out. All you’d have to do is follow and I’d never know it.”
“I could,” he agreed. “I wouldn’t, though.”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve your secrets,” he said. “Much like I deserve mine.”
“You have secrets?”
“So many.”
“Tell me,” I demanded. “We’re friends. Bros, even. Bros don’t keep secrets from each other.”
“What was your meeting about today?”
“Bros can totally keep secrets,” I decided.
“Wow, that bad? Should I be concerned?”
“Possibly. Probably. It’s certainly not healthy.”
“Underground cock fighting?”
I was horrified. “I would never do that to roosters,” I said.
He winked at me. “I wasn’t talking about roosters.”
I threw up a little in my mouth. “I just learned something new. I never want to hear the word cock come out of your mouth again.”
“Because you’d rather just have cock come in your mouth instead?”
“Wow,” I whispered reverently. “That…. Morgan. That was a thing of beauty. And so disgusting, coming from you. What the hell. Thank you for subjecting me to that. And I hate you.”
“I’ve got to keep you on your toes,” he said. Then he sobered. “Are you sure about this, Sam?”
Dammit. Serious time. “The King asked,” I said. “And he has a point. Justin will be my King. Ryan will be the King Consort. One day, I will be sworn to protect them like you do for the King and did for the Queen. It’s our duty, Morgan.”
He watched me for a moment before replying. I knew he was trying to gauge my sincerity. And I thought myself sincere. For the most part. “You’ve grown,” he finally said. “Once, you were this gawky, loud little boy who turned a gang of miscreants to stone. And now you stand before me a man. Making choices as a man. I thought….” He shook his head. “I’m proud of you, Sam Haversford. Sam of Wilds. I am so proud to have you as my apprentice.”
“I’m about to hug the crap out of you,” I warned him. “Like, full-on feelings hug where it goes on for a bit too long and becomes slightly awkward and we both clear our throats and shuffle our feet when it’s over.”
“Must we?” He sighed.
“You’re proud of me,” I reminded him. “You think I’m awesome. You love me. Yes. We must. Open your arms, Morgan. I’m about to bring it in.”
He opened his arms sarcastically. I didn’t know that was possible for a person to do that. But he did. “Hugs, hugs, hugs,” I mumbled as I pulled him in. His arms circled my back and I held on as tightly as I could because without him, I would not have the home I did. Without him, I would not be where I was. Sometimes, things could be hard. Things could be unfair. But Morgan was my friend. More than that, he was someone I could look up to. He would never steer me wrong. I didn’t know how much I needed someone like him until the day he took my hand and led me out of that alleyway, listening to me babble incessantly about pink shoes and the tears of a succubus.
I sighed happily into his neck.
“Sam? I think it’s gone on long enough.”
“Shh,” I said, reaching up to pet his face blindly. “Not awkward yet.”
“No? I would have thought otherwise.”
“You make me have feelings,” I told him seriously. “Like you’re my brother uncle dad.”
“There’s the awkward.”
“It’s not awkward when i
t’s true. Am I your brother nephew son?”
He groaned. “Will that make you let me go?”
“Try it and see.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, Sam. You’re like my brother nephew son.”
“Good.”
“You’re not letting go, are you.”
“No. That was a lie. You smell good. Like berries and sunshine. What lotion do you use? Is it called Berry Sunshine? You’re my berry sunshine, Morgan.”
He shoved me away as I laughed.
“You’re going to miss me,” I said. “Admit it.”
“I am regretting every decision I ever made about you,” he retorted.
“Lie. Don’t front. I make your world brighter.”
“Please, please, please don’t say anything like this to Randall,” he said. “And whatever you do, do not try to awkward hug him. That will not go over well.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t strike me as the hugging type. But then, he didn’t strike me as the dick nose type and look how that worked out.”
“This is going to end in disaster,” Morgan said.
“Have a little faith, huh?” I said. “I’ve got this. I just have to get through the whole traveling up close and personal with Ryan while going to rescue his fiancé thing and then we’ll be just peachy.”
“Can you do it?”
Probably not, but I chose the path of false bravado. It was easier. “I’m Sam of Wilds,” I said with a rakish grin. “I can do anything.”
He wasn’t fooled one bit. “Sam.”
“I get it, okay? I know what I’m doing. Okay. Most of the time. Well. Sometimes. But this time, I totally do. I got this, okay? It’s going to suck, sure. But it’s not about me. It’s about rescuing Justin and making sure he gets back home safe and sound. That is my priority. And I can do this.”
“I know you can,” he said quietly. “And the fact that you’re even doing it in the first place says much about your character.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Enough with all the feelings. If we keep this up, I’m going to want to braid flowers into your beard. And I’m very good at braiding. Just ask Gary.”
“Enough feelings,” he said. “I’ve got something for you.”