Adam knew where Clark’s lab suite was. He often came by to get Elle after they were both done for the day. Sometimes they studied there. Normally she was working by herself, so it was no big deal. Adam stopped short when he saw Preston, who was gathering up the rest of his things.
“Am I interrupting?” Adam asked. He surely knew Preston wasn’t another student. The School of Information was small and worked a lot with the Computer Science students; they all pretty much knew each other, at least by sight.
“Oh no, we were just wrapping up.” Preston gave Elle a glance. “Will you be all right here?”
Adam seemed to bristle at the question, but Elle focused on Preston. “Sure, I’ll be fine,” she reassured him.
Preston smiled back. “See you tomorrow then.” He seemed to look Adam up and down, assessing him, within the blink of an eye before nodding at him and leaving, closing the door behind him.
“Who was that?” Adam demanded.
Elle scowled at his tone, but she forced herself not to snap back. “Someone I’m working with.” Adam looked at her expectantly, so she added, “Thanks for the flowers; they’re pretty. And the chocolate.”
Adam didn’t look pacified by her response. “Why are you working with him?”
Who the hell was he to question her about anything? Elle took a deep breath. Arguing wasn’t going to get them anywhere. She almost slipped and said “CIA” (that would get under his skin) but remembered the cover just in time. “That’s Preston. He works with Anderson Advertising, the agency that’s funding my thesis. They need me to finish fast, so Preston’s here to work directly with the data as I find it.”
“Preston.” Adam said the name like someone would speak of an STD.
“Yes, Preston.” Elle picked up her backpack and the vase of flowers. “I was about to head out.”
The distaste slid off Adam’s face. “I was hoping you could come by my place. We could order a pizza- or pick up something on the way. Brian’s at a conference, so we’d have the place to ourselves.”
Elle wondered if this was such a good idea. She guessed he could see her skepticism, because he rushed in to add: “Last night- last night didn’t go well. We didn’t get anywhere.”
That was for damn sure. She didn’t know what would make tonight any different, but if she wasn’t going to break up with him, then they had to try, right? Somehow the logic didn’t quite make sense to Elle, yet she couldn’t think of anything better. What the hell were people supposed to do in these situations? She always thought she’d kick a guy who cheated on her in the balls, but somehow she couldn’t quite bring herself to do that. Earlier in the day, after her class but before returning to the lab, Elle had done some web surfing about dealing with infidelity. The advice ranged from “try to forgive if you think the relationship is worth saving” to “dump him,” like she didn’t already know those were the options.
“We’ll just hang out,” Adam said.
“So I guess you and Bella don’t have anything to work on tonight?” The snip slipped out before Elle could stop it or even think about it.
Adam’s face flushed, but he pressed his lips together. He just looked at her, silently pleading, which made Elle feel guilty. She didn’t want to be bitchy, but dammit, he deserved it. She turned away to focus on the computers, making sure all the laptops and desktops in the lab were shut down or in sleep mode, as she did every evening. It gave her a chance to think.
When she turned back around, Adam was standing right behind her. She could smell his clean, fresh scent. No aftershave, just soap. Elle stared at his chest as he slid his arms around his waist. Oh boy. She looked up, and his eyes met hers.
“I want to spend the evening with you,” he said.
Elle could feel her heart beating in her chest, but her heart wasn’t beating harder with excitement. She didn’t know if she wanted this. Didn’t know if she was ready for this. She looked at his chest again just as he lowered his face to hers, so his lips ended up kissing her forehead.
“Adam, I… I just don’t know…” she said as he pressed his body into hers. They were both bundled up in winter clothes, including heavy winter coats, so if anything was, well, rising, Elle couldn’t feel it. She could feel herself beginning to sweat, however. She forced herself to raise her eyes to face him again. “I appreciate the flowers-”
He landed on her lips that time, gently sucking on them almost as if he was sucking the pulp out of an orange. Why did he persist on kissing her like that? She tried to pull away, but his arms held her in place, so she tried to speak again. “And the candy-” but her words were cut off when his tongue slid into her mouth. Make-up sex was supposed to be hot, and this was pretty forceful for Adam, but was his tongue supposed to do a sweep of her entire mouth?
Then the image of him riding Bella materialized in her mind, and her eyes popped open. She pulled her head back, pressing her lips together. Adam’s tongue lathed her lips for a moment before he stopped, pulling back as he opened his eyes.
“I…” Elle didn’t know what to say, but she knew trying to force herself to continue wasn’t going to end well. “Adam, I can’t.”
He let her go, taking a step back. “What do I have to do?” Normally Adam was pretty gentle, so the frustration that roughened his tone was surprising. “We’ve been together for years. I made this one mistake-”
“One mistake?” Elle echoed.
Adam sighed. “What do I have to do?”
Elle sighed herself. “I don’t know. I need time.”
“Time.”
“Yes, time. Just… give me some space.” Elle felt bad at Adam’s crushed expression. “Please. I’m not saying it’s over, I just- I need time.”
Adam nodded, the reluctant acceptance like a defeat. “So you’ll call me? After you’ve had some… time?”
Elle was relieved he didn’t push her for more of an explanation. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll call you. I’m not trying to string you along, I just really don’t know what I want to do.”
“Okay.” Adam picked up his backpack, which he’d set on the floor. “Okay then. Are we… still together?”
“Yes,” Elle said. “At least, as far as I’m concerned-”
“Me too, then,” Adam said. He simply stood there for a moment, looking at her as if he was trying to read her mind. “Do you want me to walk you home? It’s dark.”
“I’ll be okay,” Elle assured him. “I have some things I need to get from the library anyway.”
Adam nodded again. After what felt like one of the longest pauses of Elle’s life, he started for the door. He stopped after opening it, looked at her again, and then said, “I guess I’ll be hearing from you.”
Now she just wanted him to go. “I’ll be in touch.”
“After you’ve had some time. Okay, then. Talk to you later.”
Elle nodded and found herself still nodding even after the door had closed behind Adam. Talk about excruciating. After a moment, she heard the screech of the main door as he opened it to leave the building.
Chapter 10
Elle really did have to get a couple of books from the library for one of her courses, so after she found them and checked them out, she headed home. The cold air cleared her head. The pale yellow of the streetlights illuminated her path as she walked back to the apartment.
She prided herself on being mature, level-headed, and able to focus on the important things. Adam was a good person. He was smart, kind, funny, and they just “fit” with their shared interests in computers and mathematical modeling: their geekiness. Wasn’t that the type of stuff that was really supposed to matter when choosing a lifelong partner? She thought he appreciated her, too, even if she wasn’t a head-turner like Bella. He seemed sincere about wanting to be with her. Had the wrong head just taken over for one terrible night for him? Could she trust he wouldn’t let it happen again?
Elle’s cell rang. It startled her out of her reverie. She checked her cell and had to double-check it. Yes, it was h
er father’s number. Elle’s father never called her. If she didn’t call him, then they didn’t talk, which meant they sometimes went without speaking for months.
“Dad?” Elle fumbled to get her earpiece in as she answered.
“Hey, Ellie.” Ellie. She hadn’t been called Ellie in years, but it was hopeless telling him that.
“Hey, Dad,” Elle said. “What’s wrong?” He sounded healthy. She hoped nothing was wrong with him or her younger half-sister, Lauren, or half-brother, Mikey (he was Michael Jr.). If something was wrong with the she-demon her father was married to, well, she’d have to fake polite concern, even though he’d know full well it was fake.
“Nothing’s wrong,” her father laughed. “Actually, I’m calling with good news.”
Good news? Elle wondered what kind of good news merited a call.
“I talked with a contact of mine at Virginia,” he continued. The joint JD/MBA program at Virginia was his alma mater and the school he’d been talking about her going to ever since she made the honor roll in fourth grade. “Despite you missing the early decision deadline-” Elle could hear the reprimand in his voice, but she had been too busy working on her thesis to apply early decision, “-my contact told me they’ve already decided on your application: you’re in.”
She was in. Elle had achieved the goal she and her father had set all those years ago. She glanced up at the dark sky, half expecting to see the sun surge up and bathe the world in a glowing light at the news, melting the snow and ice with the warmth of spring, at least, even if it was evening and winter. But no, the sky was still dark, and the wind still blew.
“Hello? Ellie, you there?” her father asked.
Elle had been silent for too long. “Oh yeah, I’m here. That’s great news. Really great.” She forced a laugh. “Now I won’t have to check my mail every day.”
She could hear the smile in her father’s voice as he spoke, which brought a genuine smile to her lips. “He said your application was outstanding; it was a waste for me to call in the favor.”
Oh shit. That wiped the smile off her face. “You- you called in a favor?” Elle swallowed.
“You’ve been talking about going to Virginia since you were a little girl,” he replied. It was about the only thing they had to talk about over the years, so it made sense he’d see it that way. “You know it’s tough to get through both the law school applications and the business school side.” It was true. Although the joint program had existed for a while, applications officers seemed to question applicants’ genuine interest in their individual schools (the law school and the business school) when the applicant wanted to attend both. It was silly, to Elle, since they did indeed have the joint program, but whatever.
His actions weren’t great news for Elle, however. This meant if, for whatever reason, she chose not to go to Virginia, her father would be really pissed.
“Well, you’re welcome,” her father finally said after another pause.
Elle shivered as an especially cold breeze seemed to blow straight through her. “Oh, thanks Dad- I really appreciate it- you calling your contact and everything.” Elle was quick to speak up: it didn’t take much to tick him off but calming him down was next to impossible.
“Are you outside?” her father asked.
“Yeah, walking home.” Elle was forced to walk in the snow to avoid an especially large patch of ice on the sidewalk.
“This late by yourself?” he demanded.
“I do it all the time, Dad,” Elle said. “I had to get some books from the library for a class.”
“You college kids.” Her father overcame his concern fast. “So want to tell me why the news about your childhood dream isn’t getting the… enthusiasm I expected?”
Dammit, she hated it when he got like this. He expected certain responses from her like she was a trained monkey or something. “I’m happy, really I am,” Elle said. She knew her tone wasn’t convincing so she kept talking before he could start up again. “I- I feel badly you had to call in a favor. My grades and test scores are good: I thought they would be good enough-”
“Of course they’re excellent,” her father said, “I know you’ve always been a good student. But a lot of students apply with top grades and test scores. It’s not always enough.” A pause. “Are you upset about Christmas?”
Elle hadn’t even seen her father this past Christmas, although he had sent her a good-sized check. It hadn’t made any difference to her: the truth of the matter was the holidays had sucked ever since her parents divorced when she was six. “No, not at all,” Elle said firmly. “I’m just sorry you had to call in a favor.”
Silence. Elle had the feeling her ass wasn’t out of hot water yet.
“So is that what you’re upset about? That I pulled some strings for you?”
Elle figured it was better to stay on this topic than any other that had come up so far. “I just wanted to do it on my own,” she said. That was true enough. Her father had repeatedly offered to help with her application process, and she had repeatedly refused.
“Eleanor, you’re twenty-two years old: old enough to know how the real world works. It’s not what you know.” Her stomach tightened hearing her father call her by her full name. It made her sound like she was some stuffy eighty year old. On top of that, she knew where this speech was headed. “It’s about who you know. Connections make the world go ‘round. Trust me, many of your future classmates are doing the same thing right now. Or trying to.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Elle needed to end this conversation, and she knew agreeing with him was the fastest possible way to do that. “Thanks again, Dad. I appreciate it. Really. I’m sorry you wasted a favor.”
Another pause. Dammit, she did not need this right now.
“If you had applied early decision,” her father said, “then none of this would have been necessary.”
Elle rolled her eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Eleanor,” he snapped.
She came to a stop. How the hell did he know when she did that?
“I know what you’re doing,” he went on. “You’re just like your mother: there’s no making you happy.”
Oh, he wanted to go there. “Don’t talk about Mom to me,” she snapped. “And everyone calls me Elle. Not Ellie or Eleanor.”
“I can’t keep up with what you’re calling yourself these days,” her father said.
Elle rolled her eyes again. “I’ve been called Elle since the sixth grade.” Not that he would notice. He was too busy running around with his succubus.
“Oh, you’ve called yourself other things,” her father insisted.
“You really want to argue about this?” Elle asked. “Seriously?” She stopped in the sidewalk. When her father didn’t respond, she went on. “Maybe I wanted to go somewhere besides Virginia. That’s why I didn’t want any favors called in.” Elle didn’t know what possessed her to say that, although she did like having options and choices.
“You don’t want to go to Virginia,” her father repeated.
“I didn’t say that-” Elle started walking again. It was too cold to stand still outside for long.
“You don’t want to go to the finest JD/MBA program in the country?” her father sounded incredulous.
Finest in her father’s mind. It was an excellent program, in the top ten, but there were Ivy League schools that outranked it. There was no telling her father this, however. She picked up the pace.
“Well, fine, then,” her father said. “I’ll call my contact back and tell him you aren’t accepting the spot.”
“Dad!” Now he was getting all melodramatic on her. “I didn’t say that. It’s about having choices. I wanted to see how this played out. Without interference.”
“You’ve wanted to go to Virginia since you were little,” her father said.
He had wanted her to go to Virginia since she was a little girl, but Elle knew bringing that up was only going to escalate the battle. When she had visited her
father last summer for a weekend, he and his wife had hosted a garden party. Her father had introduced her as “My daughter, who’s going to go to grad school at Virginia in a year.” What would they have to talk about if she chose not to go to Virginia… or not to go to any JD/MBA program? She would have a master’s degree in Information Science this spring, not that he knew that.
Elle slipped on a patch of ice she hadn’t noticed and fell hard. Her cell dropped out of her jacket pocket and hit the ice, so she wasn’t surprised to pick it up and see the screen was cracked. Great. Good thing she had the thing insured.
“Ellie? What happened?” her father was asking.
“I’m fine,” Elle said. No use bringing up the name thing again. “I just slipped and fell.” She stretched out her legs. Nothing hurt but her butt, which luckily had some padding to cushion her fall.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She carefully stood up as she dropped the cell into her bag, which was where it should have been all along. She spent too much time checking it. “Cracked the screen on my cell. Listen, I’d better go. Thanks again, Dad: for everything.”
“You’re welcome,” her father said. “You aren’t obligated to answer right away. Actually, you can’t: you have to wait until you get the official letter, which will go out with all the other regular decision applications this spring. You’ll get to see how your back-up schools responded. And then I know you’ll make the right decision.”
Elle rolled her eyes again but laughed for his benefit. “I’m sure I will. ‘Bye, Dad.” With that she disconnected.
Chapter 11
When Elle stepped into the apartment, Marni pounced, eyes sparkling. “You’ve been holding out on me, Eleanor Paquet.”
Elle’s brows raised. Marni knew full well she hated being called by her full name. “Not you, too,” she groaned.
“Not me, what?” Marni asked.
Elle shook her head as she dropped her backpack. She was starving. She spoke as she searched the refrigerator. “My father called.” Normally she had some takeout for dinner, but since they had just gotten back from the winter break, there weren’t any leftovers yet.
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