I want her so much right now that I’m trembling with the need to restrain myself. For starters, I want to lay my hand on her belly and feel the life that’s growing within.
I’m so turned on just thinking about my baby in her that most mornings I have to jerk off before I roll out of bed, or I know I won’t get a damn thing done for the day.
And that leads me to the other things I’m desperate to do. Three months I’ve been deprived of her, and I can tell you I am so hard and needy that if she so much as grazes her lips anywhere near me I’ll probably come in my pants.
Mostly, I just want to hold her and reassure myself that she’s still mine. Dad and I finally had that talk while we watched Cody fish and hop around all day, and I know what he was trying to tell me all along.
I find it hard to put much credence in some old family curse that dictates that any James man will be cursed to an unfulfilled life unless he meets his soul mate, but I’m one hundred percent on board with the whole loving only once thing.
I’ve never loved another woman besides Nic, and I can safely say I don’t think I ever will love another. She’s it, my one, and I will want and love her for the rest of my life.
I’m praying that that includes having her beside me for the remainder of my life not only as my wife but also as my lover, best friend, and partner in crime.
I just need to convince her to take a chance on me.
“Nic. We belong together, babe, and you know it.” I take in her shivers when I smooth a hand down her side and rest it securely on her soft round belly.
The contact is so profound that I’m forced to shove my face into her neck and breathe deeply when arousal and pure love surge through me, making my knees weak with need and longing.
“Law, no.”
Her voice is a choked whisper that leaves me feeling some hope even as she scoots out of my arms and scuttles behind the sofa, her hips swaying at her escape.
I allow her the small space and turn to lean against the door, as we stand staring at each other.
“I went a little nuts when Justin told me that I was going to be a father, and then to hear that Melissa was going to give my baby away if I didn’t marry her…”
Nic gasps and frowns deeply, her eyebrows coming together in a maternal show of anger and offense. I almost laugh when her hand shoots to her belly, as if calming our child and assuring us all that nothing like that will ever happen to him or her.
See, I knew she wouldn’t be anything like that cold-hearted bitch Melissa, not even after everything that’s happened. Nic is a natural nurturer, and she would be horrified to know that Melissa was cursing and threatening to abandon the poor baby first chance she got after I let her know that Justin was being arrested and taken back to Monaco to face charges.
“Oh, Law, that’s terrible. How could she even think about giving her child away?”
“She’s not what you’d call…loving. She fell pregnant by a man who isn’t very good or caring, and they planned to take me for a ride, using that defenseless little kid. Unfortunately for them, I snapped out of it real quick when you told me you were pregnant, and I went searching for answers I should have searched for before even thinking of marriage.”
Nic blows out a huge breath and falls into a seat, her eyes looking so sad for a moment that if not for the hand she puts up I would go over to comfort her.
“What, the baby isn’t yours?”
“No, babe. The baby is Justin’s,” I say, taking my own seat and stretching my legs out as tiredness swamps me suddenly.
I’ve spent so much time and lost so much sleep trying to get everything done and squared away. Not to mention the effort it took not to come here and do something stupid. I am finally feeling the long hours and sleepless night.
“Justin? Isn’t he that smarmy dick I met when I went to your office?”
Can I just say how much I love the fact that she finds one of Europe’s most eligible bachelors unattractive? My chest swells at her words, and I have to keep myself from beating my chest and marking her right then.
Later. I’ll reward her later for that one, I promise, imagining all the naughty, sweaty things I want to do to her once I get her back. And make no mistake. I’m not leaving here till I have my woman and family back and that’s that.
The only reason Dad let me back in for this whole father-son fishing trip was because I finally cornered him at the golf club and laid it all out for him while running after his golf cart.
Old bastard.
“Yup. That bastard. He and Melissa were looking for a meal ticket after his family cut him off, and apparently, they thought they could fool me into thinking one drunken night had resulted in a baby.”
That gets me a frown, and I see her eyes narrow and squint in displeasure. Ah, my Nic doesn’t like the thought of my dick in another woman?
That’s okay, baby, I think, adjusting my dick not so subtly when it gives a kick, demanding release and a clear shot at our woman. This cock is yours and yours alone.
Her eyes stretch, and she blushes, looking away, but not before I see her lips twitch at my predicament.
“You seem to be having a problem there,” she mutters, flicking a hand at my crotch.
“Nope, my boy’s pretty clear and making his needs known now that he’s in the vicinity of his mate. Don’t mind him though. I got to think without his input for three months, so I’m pretty sure we can at least get through the rest of this conversation without me shoving him in you,” I drawl darkly, laughing at her gasp of outrage.
“Keep that thing away from me if you know what’s good for you, Law. Every time he gets involved, I get in trouble and my heart gets broken again.”
God, babe, don’t look so torn up.
I hate the pain I’ve brought her, but honestly, if I had to do it all over again I think I’d do it exactly this way. See, I’ve learned a few things in the last three months. While I’ll never be the old Law who loved hockey, making love after a night of partying, and praise after a game win, I am still enough of the same guy who never, not for a minute, stopped loving her.
I’ve carried her in my heart and in my wallet for years, as I sought out a life that was never mine to live, and I know now that everything I was searching for has always been here.
Yeah, I am indelibly changed and scarred and battered from years of debauchery, but I’m a man now, and this man wants nothing more than to settle down and spend the next lifetime seeking out adventures with my loved ones.
I no longer feel trapped or itch for the freedom I valued so highly. My place is here, surrounded by my family and my Nic, as I endeavor to build a legacy for the line I intend to leave behind.
And most importantly, I now forgive her and myself for the foolish mistakes we made in our youth. Yeah, I know you’re probably asking what I had to forgive her for since I’m the asshole and you hate me, but I need you to understand, Nic wasn’t all sunshine and roses herself.
That girl I loved was driven to succeed and build her career, and while she was great as a girlfriend most of the time, she was also very cruel and uncaring about my injury and the loss I suffered when I learned I would never play again.
She wasn’t there for me, and I, in turn, lashed out and hurt her for that. I hated us both for a long time, but now I can forgive and let it go because I know that if none of that had happened we wouldn’t be here today.
“Law? Lawson James, are you sitting there thinking about sex while I’m trying to speak to you?” Nic snarls, her eyes going to slits, as I grin and shrug again, not ready to admit that what I think of most are the feelings I have for her.
See, I’ve grown! My dick no longer rules me. Well. Not all the time. I am now capable of more than just lust and self-gratification. Although if she wanted to suck my dick right now, I wouldn’t complain too much.
“A little, but give me a break, Nic, my dick hasn’t seen action in months, so he’s a little rabid at the moment.”
Her eyes n
arrow some more, and I wonder how she can possibly see me through the slivers when she suddenly starts giggling and doesn’t stop till her eyes are watering and tears are streaming down her face.
I’d laugh right along with her, but I’m not sure I should since she seems to find something amusing about my monster, and I can’t be sure she’s not thinking some very uncomplimentary thoughts about that very important part of me.
“Are you trying to tell me you haven’t had sex in months? What a crock! I bet it gets hard when the wind hits it.”
Well, hey now, I take offense to that shit ,and I let her know it right quick, going so far as to shove off of the sofa and lean over her, my arms planted firmly on the arm rests.
“I haven’t fucked since the last time I had my dick in you.” I grab her hand and shove it against my raging erection.
The contact makes me groan, but I push that away and step back with a glare, letting her know how annoyed I am at her lack of faith in me.
“Melissa all but gave me a fucking hand job in the limo after the wedding but my dick, the dick you seem to be so scathing about, hasn’t been hard for any other woman since the day I fucked you!” I yell, running a hand through my hair.
This conversation is not going the way I planned, and it’s starting to drive me nuts. Why can’t she just hear me and believe in me for once?
“Really?”
I pause in my pacing and look back at her, instantly losing my anger when I see her biting her lip and looking so hopeful it breaks my heart. And okay, so I get a little harder at the thought of her wanting to believe that I’m telling her the truth.
So sue me. My dick hasn’t had any action other than my hand in way too long and he’s a little one-track minded.
“Really, babe. She tried and failed epically. Seems this”—I stalk forward and grab her hand, pressing it to the boner trying to chew its way out of my zipper—“is yours and only yours.”
Her hand moves and I groan, feeling hope bloom when she bites her lip before pulling away and rising to her feet.
“You’ve got a lot to make up for, Law.”
My heart speeds up when she pushes closer and lays a hand on my cheek, her eyes going all soft and liquid when I drop to my knees and grab her to me, my body trembling so hard I’m struggling not to cry like a little bitch.
“You’ll give me another chance?”
Chapter Thirty-seven
Nico
It’s strange, but the minute he grabbed my hand and made me touch him I knew that—no matter what—I love this man and I will never stop. So okay, maybe that’s not as romantic as him groveling and swearing his undying love, but I’m not your regular woman, and I told you before, I love me a good gritty romance that isn’t all hearts and flowers.
And that’s what I’m getting with Law.
We will never be that couple who fawns all over each other and constantly declares their undying love, and I like that about us.
Want to know a secret? I already knew all this shit before he even walked through the door—thanks to Jack and Minnie and their big mouths. I’ve just been sitting here, waiting for the big oaf to finally come to his senses and give me my happy ending.
Which I now have.
Looking down at him, where his face is pressed into my swollen belly, I resist the urge to laugh—and I stroke his hair instead, loving the feel of him worshipping our unborn child and me.
But…no happy ending would be complete without those three little words—and since he hasn’t said them yet, I guess this story ain’t finished.
“Law?”
“Yeah?” he asks distractedly, sprinkling kisses over my stomach while his hand starts travelling up my thigh.
Naughty man.
“Don’t you have something else you think you should say to me?”
He stills and looks up in confusion, and I narrow my eyes at him, ready to slap him silly if he so much as moves before I hear what I need to hear.
“Something else?” he asks, looking for all the world as if he doesn’t get my drift.
I slap him upside the head and try to shove away when he grins mischievously and leaps up, taking my face in his hands and kissing me so sweetly I feel tears mist my eyes.
“I love you, Nicolette Sharp. I always have, and chances are that I always will,” he murmurs, kissing me again. “Did you not get that when I said my dick won’t work for anyone but you?”
I should kick him in the balls for that one because now there’s no way I can tell this story to my children. For at least twenty years.
But I’ll take it.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
“Er, no?” I tease.
“Nic.”
“Okay fine! I love you too, asshole. Now shut up and kiss me.”
We’re laughing through the meeting of lips, and I almost bust a gut when the door bursts open and our three eavesdroppers come busting through the door all smiles and happy wishes.
“Mom, what’s a cock?” Cody asks later when we’re all sitting together making plans to get married as fast as humanly possible.
I close my eyes, count to ten, and turn to Law with a scowl that is met by his sheepish grin and a shrug.
“Daddy’s going to tell you all about that, baby. He’s the expert,” I finally say, giggling when Law sits up straight and gives me a look that is all fearful doe caught in the headlights.
Before he smirks and lets his gaze travel over my body.
“Yes, I am.”
Epilogue
I love them more every day, something I never thought possible since I thought I already loved my family more than is possible for any one human being.
Looking over at Nic where she’s trying to convince our daughter Ash not to eat salt while the twins toddle around giving Dad a run for his money, I feel my heart expand so big I can hardly contain the emotion.
We have four children now with another one on the way, and instead of feeling harried by all the responsibility, I am looking forward to the day I can plant another baby in my wife.
Yeah, I know how that sounds since that poor girl has already given me four children and is big with the next one, but you have to understand, nothing gives me a rush like knowing I’ve made another baby with her.
The more years we spend together, the more I need her, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. If ever.
Nic is…everything to me, and I live for every moment we have together on this earth. Weird for a guy who wanted nothing more from life than the next party and round of meaningless sex, but I can honestly say that I am no longer that guy.
“Law, could you please talk to your demon spawn?!” Nic yells, practically tossing Ash at me, as the little darling starts screaming and kicking for all she’s worth, her tantrums so frequent that I’m not even fazed anymore.
So I spoil her rotten, so what. She’s daddy’s little angel, and I’ll gut anyone who says differently. With her long dark hair and eyes like her mama, I can’t help but adore the kid, and unfortunately for all involved, the little imp knows it.
“Want it!”
“Yeah kid, but wanting what’s bad for you isn’t all that smart. Here, eat the sugar, at least it won’t burn your tongue off,” I croon, ignoring Nic’s glare when Ash dives into the sugar bowl and starts happily munching on the sweet grains.
“You’re an idiot.”
I smile and plant a hot, wet kiss on her, copping a feel as I go because, yeah, she turns me on even now, being eight months pregnant and so big I see her coming before she turns the corner.
Sexy as fuck.
“I’m a fool for you,” I murmur, kissing her lips again as our child rolls around between us.
Nic just smiles as she always does and gives me the words I now crave the way I crave the next adventure.
“I love you, Lawson James.”
And there it is. That’s our story. We’ll probably have to PG the shit out of the sucker when we tell the kids how Mom
my and Daddy fell in love all over again, but I don’t mind.
The X-rated stuff can stay in the bedroom where it belongs.
And speaking of bedrooms…
Nic squeals and starts waddling out of the kitchen as Mom and Rose round up the kids and laugh delightedly. I stalk Nic the whole way up the stairs and into our room.
“Perv.”
“Hussy.”
I’m smiling later, as she cuddles close and throws her belly over my side, her body draped over mine as she snuggles down and falls asleep.
She’s mine, finally, and all it took was for me to break every rule I ever made for myself.
No regrets.
~~~
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RED LOVE
Chapter One
The Metropolitan Museum of Art is my favorite place in the world, hands down. I love everything about it, from the steps at the entrance to the crowds of people vying to see the art.
I visit at least once a month without fail and never cease to be spellbound by everything all over again, nevermind how many times I’ve been. My favorite painting is Monet’s Sunflowers.
It’s the happiest painting I’ve ever seen, or at least, it makes me happy every time I see it.
My college professor despaired of my one-dimensional view of art the whole time he’d been cursed with me and my uninspired ass. He said my interpretation of art is skewed, flat, and altogether too happy when faced with a world of possibilities.
LAWSON (A Standalone Billionaire Romance Novel) Page 18