by Eden Bradley
Jared nodded at him, remained quiet until Matteo had thrown on some clothes and left the room.
“I’ve been offered a project. It’s a book of architectural photography. A group of incredibly talented folks are working on it. Some of the best in the world. And my manager’s arranged a show there for me at the same time. I’ll start in Prague, then go to Berlin. I’m not sure where else. I’ll be gone a few months, probably.”
“Oh.” She swallowed hard, the disappointment and the hurt going down like acid. Her heart was hammering, a dull, thudding ache in her chest.
He reached out and tipped her chin up with his hand. “Look, this is a brilliant opportunity for me.”
“I know that.” She was furious when tears thickened her voice.
“Ah, now, don’t do that. I can’t bear it.”
He leaned in and kissed her mouth, kissed her tear-damp eyes, her hot forehead. Her heart twisted at his tender touch.
He pulled away and looked into her eyes. For a moment she thought she saw something in the dark brown depths of his gaze. A glimpse of emotion. But she knew it was only her own wishful thinking.
“When do you go?”
“On Friday.”
“So soon?” That was only two days away.
“I just got the news. Another photographer was supposed to go, but he’s been ill and can’t make it. I’ve been asked to replace him. And I don’t think long goodbyes do anyone any good. Leigh, you knew I’d be leaving eventually, didn’t you? That I’d have to work. I never led you to think otherwise.”
“No, you didn’t.” She pulled in a long, sighing breath, trying to calm her racing pulse. “I’ve always appreciated your honesty.”
“Right, then. Can we enjoy the next two days? Do you want to be here with me?”
“Yes. Of course.” If only he knew how much.
“Matteo is leaving tomorrow. He’s playing a show in San Diego. He’ll stay a while to do some surfing, then maybe head down to Mexico with some friends.”
A small stab of pain for Matteo too. But it was Jared who was breaking her heart. It had always been Jared.
She nodded her head, unable to speak as a knot lodged in her throat.
“That’s my girl.” He rubbed a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’ve had the most wonderful summer with you. You’re an incredible woman, Leigh.”
“Don’t say that. Please.”
“It’s true.”
Then why wasn’t he staying with her?
Jared lay back on the bed and pulled her on top of him. He kissed her again, softly. His lips were so sweet against hers. He tasted faintly of the beer they’d been drinking the night before. Her body heated up, despite her aching heart.
“Make love with me, Leigh,” he whispered.
He’d never called it that before. It was always fucking.
Don’t think about it.
She slid her body against his, her already tight, hard nipples grazing his chest. He cupped her bottom in his big hands and pulled her hips into his heavy erection.
“Ah, Leigh,” he groaned.
She reached into the nightstand and found a condom, slipped it over his thick shaft, and positioned her wet sex over him. She needed to feel him inside her. Needed to have at least that much of him.
She parted the lips of her sex with her fingers and slid onto the hard length of him, his cock filling her. He reached up and took her face in his hands, drew her down for another kiss.
When his tongue pushed into her mouth, slipping inside, all wet, sweet heat, she began to move. His hands threaded through her hair, caressed the back of her neck, her shoulders, while she rocked her hips against him.
This was different, somehow, even as the familiar stab of pleasure shot through her. He was different. Was she fooling herself into believing he felt something for her? That he was going to miss her the way she missed him even now? Even with his flesh buried inside her body, he was lost to her already.
He thrust into her, faster and faster. His pelvis ground against her clit, and the pressure built quickly. And when she came, pleasure crashing over her like the waves of the ocean, she cried out.
“Jared!”
“Ah, God…”
Moments later he stiffened beneath her, pulled her body close to his, her breasts crushing against the hard wall of his chest. And her name escaped his lips on a long sigh.
The next morning came all too soon, the early dawn light filtering through a haze of fog outside the windows of Jared’s house. The moment her eyes opened, it hurt to think that this was the last time she would be there for a while. Maybe forever. Who knew what might happen in the months Jared was gone? He could forget all about her.
She wouldn’t forget him.
Matteo had returned the previous morning with breakfast, as promised, and she’d done her best to swallow her emotions and simply appreciate her time with them. She was surprised when Jared had asked her to stay while he packed his suitcase, his camera equipment, taking her back to bed for the afternoon while Matteo ran errands. They’d napped, made love again, napped some more. Somehow, afternoon had turned into night, and they’d all gone to dinner, had a few drinks, coming back to the house and falling into bed. There was no sex, just the three of them in a warm tangle of limbs, which seemed all the more poignant to her. Leigh had expected to lie awake all night, but she’d slept heavily and dreamed of Jared. Now her eyes were heavy, and the early light felt cold to her. Stark. She pulled the blankets closer around her shoulders.
Matteo had gotten up early, preparing for his trip south. Jared slept in the bed beside her as she listened to Matteo running the shower, packing his duffel bag, going downstairs to eat breakfast. She couldn’t make herself get up. She couldn’t force herself to get through the final moments. The fog was just beginning to clear outside the windows when Matteo came back into the bedroom.
“Hey,” he whispered, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Hey.”
He reached out, brushed her hair from her face. “Don’t be sad, beautiful girl.”
“I’m…trying not to be.”
He smiled, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I know it’s not for me.”
“Matteo—”
“It’s okay. I come and go. I won’t forget about you. You won’t forget about me. It’s all good. For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing, Leigh. And if Jared decides to stick with you, I’m in, if you’d have me. No question about it.”
“He won’t. But you’re sweet.”
She tried to smile as he lifted her hand and kissed it. She squeezed his fingers. “Have a safe trip.”
“Leigh, if you ever need anything…” he paused to pull a card from his shirt pocket, “…call me. I mean it. Whatever happens with Jared.”
She took the card, turned the smooth paper over in her fingers. “Thanks. I will.”
“You’d better.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, then her mouth softly.
She watched him go, his lean form silhouetted in the pale light. Jared still slept, his features relaxed, peaceful. His face was so beautiful, all masculine angles. The face she had come to love.
Her heart twisted, her stomach knotting. Tears dampened her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
Have to get out of here…
Despite what she’d said to him before, about being with him up until he left, she realized she couldn’t do it. Better to cut it off now, before she got in any deeper.
You are in about as deep as it gets.
She loved him.
She was a fool.
She heard the front door close as Matteo left the house. Time for her to go, too. She took one last look at Jared, his mouth soft with sleep. She wanted to kiss him. She didn’t dare.
Just go.
She got out of bed, slipping into her clothes, then down the stairs and out into the quickly heating air of the summer morning. But a piece of her was left behind, in that big bed, with the man she loved. And could never truly h
ave.
She’d wondered if she would hear from him, if he would bother to ask where she was, why she’d disappeared. But an entire day and night had gone by and she hadn’t heard a word. She didn’t want to obsess about it, but she couldn’t help but peer through her curtains to watch his house for any sign of activity. The enormous black SUV had been parked in the driveway all day, and as far as she knew, he hadn’t left the house.
He hadn’t come to see her. Hadn’t called.
She sat at her small kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea, trying to soothe herself. But it didn’t help. She wasn’t sure anything would. Jared was leaving today, and that was it. It was over. Even when he returned, things would be different. It was inevitable. She wanted more than he did. Much more. There was simply no way to reconcile that.
She tried to tell herself he hadn’t contacted her because he’d gotten the message loud and clear and understood there was nothing more to talk about. In her girlish fantasies he would have fought for her. But this was no fantasy. This was real life. And the truth was, he didn’t want her. She’d known from the start it would end this way. That along with the sultry heat, he would be gone by the end of summer.
But she still wanted him, on every level. She shivered with need whenever she pictured him. His big, hard-packed body, his fathomless brown eyes, his hot, kissable mouth. Even worse was the yearning in her heart, in her head. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, even for a moment.
Was this obsession? Maybe so. But there were reasons why she felt the way she did about Jared. Why she loved him with all her heart. Her aching body. Her soul.
He was everything she could want in a man—kind, funny, creative, confident. He was the sexiest man she had ever met. It was more than his body, tight with muscle. Or even his beautiful face, his deep, dark eyes. It was more than the things he did to her in bed, his frank openness about sex, his natural sense of command. It was something about the way he carried himself, the way he moved. The way he smelled. He felt right. Even the dynamic with Matteo had always seemed natural and sensual. Rather than being threatening in any way, it made things feel more complete.
Jared made her feel about herself all of the things her ex never had—sexy, smart, beautiful. Maybe because he saw her that way. But it wasn’t enough to make him stay, was it?
She hadn’t quite let herself cry. But she knew the tears would come eventually, hovering just behind her eyelids.
She crossed her legs, uncrossed them. Tapped her fingernails on the rim of her mug. She couldn’t seem to sit still, hadn’t been able to since she’d come home the day before. Her kitchen was scrubbed to a shine. Her wood floors polished, her laundry done. She was afraid if she allowed herself to stop moving grief would take over, drown her. It sat like a stone in her chest, heavy, burdening her every breath.
It was 11 a.m., and the heat of the day was already stifling. She set her tea down on the table. It was too hot to drink it anymore. It was too hard to sit still, anyway. She got up and opened her kitchen door to let some air in. And there he was.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she was sure she’d never breathe again. He was too beautiful, standing there.
“Hallo, Leigh.”
Her heart thundered. The tears burned, and she had to swallow the hard lump in her throat.
“Please, Jared. I can’t do this.”
“I can’t either.”
“What?”
He took her arm, pushed past her into the house, pulling her with him. He took something out of his back pocket and put it into her numb hands.
“Come with me.”
The warmth from his hand was seeping into her skin. He smelled like Jared. Like clean skin and sex. She thought her legs might go out from under her. What had he just said? She glanced down and realized she held a pair of plane tickets.
“Go? Go where?” She couldn’t seem to make sense of his words.
“To Europe. To Europe now, and later, wherever. Wherever you want. As long as you’re with me.”
His dark gaze locked onto hers, and her shocked brain finally understood that he was serious. His fingers brushed her cheek. It was a moment before she realized he was wiping away the tears that fell there.
“Jared…why are you doing this now? You made it clear you aren’t interested in a relationship. You haven’t come by or called since I left.”
“I was an idiot. An idiot stuck in a rut. I’ve had this idea that I can’t change. That maybe I never needed to. But I’m thirty-two years old, and it’s time for me to grow up.”
“Is that what this is about? I’m supposed to help you grow up?” she asked, waving the tickets. She was angry. Hurt. She didn’t know what to think.
“Ah, don’t look so cold, Leigh.” His hand tightened around her arm, his dark brows drawing together. “No, I’m sorry. You’ve every right to be mad. I’ve been an absolute shit about this. I’m sorry. I’ve been a bit spoiled. It’s not as though I even want to be with other people. I’m just used to having my way, my freedom. Stupid, really. Juvenile of me, and I’ve realized that. You can be mad at me later. You can berate me all across Europe if you like. But I can’t go without you. I won’t do it. Say you’ll come.”
“Why, Jared?” The damn tears were still falling, but there was nothing she could do about it.
He smiled, just a small tilting at the corners of his mouth that lit up his face, making her heart lift despite the hurt there.
“I love you, Leigh.” He paused, his dark gaze intent on hers as he used his thumb to stroke her jaw, across her lower lip. “I’ve never said those words to anyone else. I’ve never wanted to. Say those tears mean you love me. Say you’ll come.”
Her heart was filling up slowly with a warm joy that consumed her. He loved her. She could barely believe it was true. She’d wanted it too much. But looking into his eyes she could see it there. His expression was intense, hopeful. It was the first time she had ever seen him unsure about anything. She wanted to kiss him, had to.
His lips were soft, more pliant than they’d ever been before. But he tasted the same. Like the man she loved. His arms went around her and pulled her into his big body, his chest a solid wall against hers.
She pulled away long enough to whisper, “I wanted to tell you, Jared. I wanted to tell you I love you. I’ve needed to, so badly.”
“I’ve known it for weeks,” he admitted, his breath soft in her hair as he kissed her cheek, warm, fluttering kisses between his words. “I’ve known I loved you and couldn’t admit it until I was faced with losing you. I didn’t want to change. But losing you would be a thousand times worse.”
He tilted her chin in his hand, raising her face to his.
“Tell me again,” she demanded.
“I love you, my girl. You are my girl. You have been from the start.”
“It’s true,” she told him.
“Tell me you’ll come with me.”
“Today? Go with you to Europe today?”
“Can you pack by tonight? The flight leaves at eleven. I know it’s crazy. I know you have your work, that you’re starting your business. But come for a while, at least. For a week or two. Longer if you can. Long enough for me to know that when I come back, I’ll have you to come home to. Do you have a passport?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love me, Leigh?”
“Yes.”
“Then come. Be with me. Be here when I get home.” He shook his head, held her tighter.
Her head was spinning, her heart tripping. But she knew what she wanted. She wanted him.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this, but yes, I’ll come with you.”
He kissed her hard, his lips crushing hers, his big arms nearly squeezing the breath out of her.
She had to come up for air after a few moments. “Jared…I have to ask you…about Matteo.”
“Matteo is important to me. You know that. But it’s his friendship that’s most important. It’s always been that way. What role h
e’ll play with us is up to you. He loves being with you, with me, but he’s a free spirit.”
“I love that about him. And I want him to be with us when he can be. I may not love him the way I do you, but I adore him, if that makes sense.”
“I know just what you mean. And I’m glad. I would have accepted things either way. As long as I have you.”
She smiled at him. Could this really be happening? Jared loved her. And the scenario for their future was something most women could only ever dream of. Even if things changed with Matteo, she and Jared would still have each other.
“Leigh.” Jared lifted a hand, stroked her hair. His face was serious, but after a moment he grinned. “I sort of can’t believe you’re agreeing to this. To running off to Europe with me. To this whole thing, allowing Matteo to be with us. That you love me.”
“But I do. I can hardly wait to go. And I can hardly wait to come home and for us to be together. To start our life together. But there’s one thing that just can’t wait.”
“What’s that?”
She put her palm over his heart, felt the steady beat there. “Love me, Jared.”
“Ah, that’s easy enough, my girl.”
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, laid her down on the bed and undressed them both quickly but carefully.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured, his hands gliding over her bare skin as he knelt over her.
She reached for him, her palms finding the taut muscles of his chest, moving down over his stomach.
“Touch me, Leigh.”
She took his hard cock in her hands, felt it pulse with need, watched his face as she stroked. Saw the pure pleasure as he closed his eyes, bit his lush lip. His hands cupped her breasts, his fingers brushing over her nipples. They grew hard, aching. Her body heated, swarmed with desire.
“Jared…”
He opened his eyes, his gaze locked on hers. “I need to be inside you.”
“Yes…”
She leaned over to open her nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. He took it from her, tore the packet and rolled it onto his thick shaft. She watched, her sex pulsing with need, a steady, white-hot rhythm. She opened her thighs for him, and he sank between them. He took her hand in his, held it over her head, clasping her fingers. With the other hand he reached down and parted the lips of her sex, and slipped right in.