by Laney Webber
Gunnie squeezed Jannika’s hand. “I can get the roast out of the oven myself. Why don’t you go home and call your date—Lee, is it? Go have your supper with her.”
Jannika kissed her again and got up from the table. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”
“I’m sure. If you want me to rest, you need to go, because we’ll keep on jawin’.”
“Call me if you need anything. And I mean anything, okay?” She knew her aunt was right and she didn’t want to tire her out. But she was a little worried still.
“I need you to call that girl. Promise me.”
Jannika went to the oven and opened the door to check on the food. “Promise. Your supper should be ready in another ten or fifteen minutes or so.”
“I know how to cook. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Okay, Auntie.” Jannika bent and kissed her good-bye and headed to her car.
Jannika got in her car and checked her phone before starting the engine. There was a text from Joanne.
Did you get my message? Answer me.
She didn’t want to worry Gunnie by sitting in the driveway texting. She knew her aunt would be looking out the window to wave good-bye. She started the car, and sure enough, there was her aunt, in the window. Jannika waved back as she backed out of the driveway and onto the street.
During the three-mile drive home, her mind spun between the text from Joanne, her Aunt Gunnie’s health, Joe Bosworth and the store, and Lee. She brought the apples from the farm into the cottage and put the bag in the fridge. She made a cup of tea and sat on the couch and looked out the sliding doors at the end of her small living room.
Jannika brought her feet up onto the couch and stuffed an orange pillow behind her back. She stayed there curled up, watching the afternoon sun sink behind the pine trees in the back yard.
Her phone chirped again. It was Lee. How is your aunt?
She replied, Sorry, I just got home. My aunt is ok. Low blood sugar. She’s home now.
I bet you haven’t eaten. Would you like company? I have some tasty soup I could bring over?
Jannika thought for a half minute, then tapped Lee’s number. She’d promised her aunt, after all.
“Hey there,” Lee answered.
“This might sound silly, but I wanted to hear your voice,” Jannika said.
“That doesn’t sound silly to me at all. I’m so glad your aunt is okay. It sounds like you’re really close to her.”
“Probably closer than to my mother. She’s always been my anchor, so tough, and today she looked so vulnerable in that hospital bed. It shook me a little. Sorry I left like that.” Jannika heard only silence on the phone. “Lee, are you still there?”
“I’m here. We should talk about that, but not over the phone.”
“Are you upset?” Jannika asked.
“I think today has been full enough for both of us. I’d like to bring over some soup for you if you want.”
Jannika couldn’t figure out why Lee might be upset. Maybe she was upset because she’d left and messed up their date or she didn’t text Lee from the hospital? That seemed a little high maintenance. Maybe they were moving too fast.
“I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to veg out on the couch for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Sure, sounds good.” Jannika ended the call and reread the message from Joanne.
Chapter Thirteen
Jannika’s hands shook as she typed a reply to Joanne’s text. She dropped the phone on the couch and plopped down beside it. She put her head in her hands and her shoulders shook as she tried to hold in the warring emotional factions—the dream date she had with Lee, and her feelings of betrayal talking with Joanne. She wanted to get on with her life. That’s why she’d moved to New Hampshire. And she wanted to move on from Joanne. Maybe a part of her wanted Joanne to hurt the way she did. Maybe part of her wanted Joanne to realize what she had given up when she kicked Jannika out of the house and out of her life.
She woke to a dark house. The sun had long since set and her stomach told her it was way past dinnertime. She picked up her phone. Nothing else from Joanne, good. And nothing from Lee either.
She grabbed some of the leftover Chinese food from the other night and popped it in the microwave, then sent a text to Marcy. She hadn’t heard much from Marcy lately since she and Amy were seeing each other. They went away a lot to avoid being seen together in Grangeton.
What’s up, kiddo? Marcy texted.
Got a message today. Joanne is selling the house and found some of my stuff.
Oh, Marcy replied.
Wants me to come up.
Amy and I are at her place. You want me to come over?
Was it selfish of her, wanting Marcy to leave her girlfriend to listen to her problems? I’m a mess. Gunnie is okay but was in the hospital today. Low blood sugar they think.
Messy doesn’t bother me. I’ll be right over. About half an hour.
Jannika walked around the cottage, randomly picking up things then putting them down. She threw some laundry in the washing machine but didn’t turn it on. She put on the kettle for tea and set out two mugs, a jar of honey, some lemon slices from the fridge, and some milk. She didn’t know how Marcy or anyone else on earth could put milk in a nice cup of tea. The thought made her shudder. As the kettle was heating up, she went in the bathroom, washed her face, and tried to do something with the left side of her hair, which was now smashed into the side of her head at all angles from sleeping on the couch.
She scrubbed the kitchen counters and heard a car in the driveway. She threw the sponge in the sink, washed her hands, and opened the door at the first knock.
“Oh, Nick,” Marcy said and wrapped her arms around her. “First, how is Gunnie?”
“She’s okay. Scared me, though, to see her like that. They said she doesn’t have diabetes, but she might be hypoglycemic. I took her home, got her settled in, and she seemed more like herself.”
“Good. That must have scared the pants off you. Where were you?” Marcy asked.
Jannika plopped on the couch. “I was over at Lee’s. We’d gone apple picking, and she brought me to her house to show me around,” she said. “I got a call from Carol, Auntie’s friend, to come to the hospital. While I was there, I got a text and a voicemail from Joanne that she and her girlfriend are selling the house.” Jannika rubbed the back of her neck. Her jaw was set. “Later, Aunt Gunnie told me she heard the same gossip I heard about Joe Bosworth being bored with the bookstore. I’m trying not to panic.”
Marcy sat on the couch next to Jannika and turned to face her. “Do not panic. You know how Carol, and Gunnie, and all those ladies are. I think you need to call Joe and hear whatever it is he has to say about the store.”
“Edgar told me to call Joe and ask him about the store too, when I saw him at the Simon’s weekend.”
“Don’t you want to know?”
“You’re right. I’m going to call him and find out what’s up with the store, if anything.” Jannika knew everyone was right, she should call her boss, but she was afraid of his answers. She didn’t usually put off things like this, but she just wanted to pretend the rest of her life was stable and enjoy going out with Lee. “Do you want some tea or anything?”
“Like you have anything in your fridge besides frozen stuff. I’m okay. And now from left field—let’s take a break from the heavy stuff and you can tell me about apple picking.” Marcy scrunched a pillow behind her and leaned back against the couch.
Jannika’s face relaxed, and she unfolded her legs.
“It was the best apple picking day.” Jannika shook her head. “But I had to leave when I got the call about Auntie. It’s probably just as well. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I feel so comfortable with her and she is so…incredible. I’ve never had anyone look at me like she does. But do I want to take the chance of getting my heart broken
? Look what happened with Joanne. I trusted her and you know how that ended. And now, out of the blue, she gets in touch. But I think I could finally get closure on the Joanne stuff if I go up to get the rest of my stuff. But I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Jannika, I have a proposition for you,” Marcy said.
“What’s that?” Jannika asked.
“I want to make a deal with you. I’ve told you how I feel about Amy,” Marcy said.
“And I’m so, so happy for you—both of you, you know that,” she said.
“I wanted you to know that I finally agree with you. There is a big block of something holding back my relationship with Amy. And it’s labeled parents. I’ve decided to come out to my mother, then my father. But my mother first. Next weekend. Here’s my deal. I think you and I both know you have unfinished business with Joanne, and that might, just might, be holding you back from your happiness. I think we should make a deal to do it this weekend. I’ll come out to my mother and you take the trip to Maine and see Joanne. We can be brave for each other, you know? Hold each other up and all that stuff you always say to me when you’re acting all Super Lesbian,” Marcy said, putting her hand on Jannika’s shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can this weekend. I texted and told her I would come up, but I don’t know…” Jannika said. “I’m not good at confrontation. I get really anxious.”
“I know what you’ve told me about Lee. And you can tap dance all around it, but you really like this woman. I see it in your face when you talk about her. Would you want to move forward with someone who seems still hung up on their ex?”
“Kind of harsh,” she said.
“Kind of true,” Marcy said.
“I never compared our situations before. You’re right, as usual. But I don’t know. Part of me is still hurt, and part of me is angry at the way she treated me,” Jannika said. She ran her hand through her hair, then over the back of her neck. Her stomach churned at the thought of confronting Joanne. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Yes, you do.” Marcy sat up and put her hand on Jannika’s knee and looked her in the eye.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” Jannika said.
“Next weekend, right?”
“Next weekend.”
“And you’ll call Lee and let her know what’s going on. Don’t leave her in the dark,” Marcy said.
“She’s calling me tomorrow,” Jannika said. “And you and I will check in with each other Sunday night. I’ll text you or you text me.”
“You got it.” Marcy gave her a hug. “She’s something, your camp counselor, huh?”
“Yes, she’s something.” Jannika smiled and thought about their afternoon before the phone call about her aunt. She was running up the stairs behind Lee—
“I wish you could see the look on your face right now. Ooh la la. I’ve never seen you like this. It’s flippin’ awesome. Just so you know.”
“Thanks, you.” She poked Marcy in the upper arm.
“Welcome,” said Marcy. “I’m gonna get going. I’ll leave you to your wild and luscious thoughts about the camp counselor. We can do this.” She gave Jannika a hug.
“Very funny. Yes, we can.”
She shut the door to the cottage. She picked up her phone from the coffee table and thought about texting Lee but decided that she wanted Lee to hear her voice. She looked at the time on her phone. It was too late to call tonight. she’d call first thing in the morning.
Chapter Fourteen
“Hey, Jannika.”
“Hey.” Lee had answered the phone after the first ring. “I know you said you wanted to talk about something, and I need to talk about something too.”
“Can we talk in person? I haven’t had my breakfast yet, have you? Do you go into work today?” Lee asked.
“No breakfast. No work. I stay home on a Monday every once in a while, to catch up on paperwork. Sarah’s at the store. I wanted to call you first thing.”
“How about I bring over some breakfast and coffee or tea if that’s okay, or you could come here?” Lee asked.
“Why don’t you come over here,” Jannika said. “I’ll give you directions.”
Jannika told Lee how to get to her cottage, then ran around and straightened things that didn’t need straightening. She had already taken a shower and dressed in jeans, a white T-shirt, and a gray V-necked sweater. The cottage was in pretty good shape after her cleaning frenzy last night waiting for Marcy to get there. She moved her toaster oven over about three inches, then moved the big blue pottery bowl on the kitchen counter to the coffee table. Then she moved it back to its original place. She opened her bedroom door, then had second thoughts and closed the bedroom door. She checked to see if she had clean towels in the bathroom, reaching up every now and then to rub the back of her neck. She started a grocery list. She turned music on, then she turned it off. She got out some orange Fiestaware dinner plates, a couple of forks and knives, and two orange and red striped placemats. Then she stood in the middle of the living room, looked out the sliding glass doors, and took a deep breath. Lee’s truck rolled toward the house, down the driveway. Her stomach did several backflips.
She watched Lee get out of her car and reach back in for a white paper bag and a cardboard cup carrier holding two large cups. She let Lee and her packages into the cottage. Lee set the food and drink on the kitchen table, then pulled Jannika into her arms.
“I am so happy to be here,” Lee said.
“Me too.” Jannika felt a catch in her throat.
Lee looked around the small cottage. “This is a great place. It fits you, cozy and neat with a little old-fashioned charm thrown in for good measure,” Lee said. She reached in the bag and removed foodstuffs wrapped in white butcher’s paper.
“You make me sound like a quilt my auntie would have made,” Jannika said. She frowned. She didn’t want Lee to see her as some straitlaced, single-for-way-too-long person.
“I listed a few of your surface qualities. I know that under that cozy exterior beats the heart of a wild woman,” Lee said. She smiled at Jannika.
Jannika felt her ears grow warm. When Lee smiled at her like that, whatever she wanted to talk about slipped away, and everything faded except Lee, standing next to her. She didn’t feel cozy at all. She felt like she wanted to take Lee in the other room and ravish her.
“I picked up a couple of Portuguese breakfast roll sandwiches from TJ’s. They have local ham, egg, and cheddar cheese in them. Lots of protein and some very yummy tasting carbs to boot. Oh, and when I left my house, I swung by the orchard and picked up a couple of cider doughnuts.”
Jannika tried to focus on what Lee was saying and not on the effect Lee was having on her body. “Oh, Lee, that was so sweet and thoughtful. I’m sorry about yesterday. I want to talk about it.”
“I do too, but let’s get some food into us before we go digging around into what I’m sure is going to be emotional territory for both of us,” Lee said. She unwrapped a sandwich and took a bite. “This is the best bite, try yours.”
Jannika thought about how the events played out yesterday when she got the phone call about Aunt Gunnie. She thought it was a little overboard for Lee to be upset at the way she left her house in such a hurry—it was a family emergency after all—and she didn’t know why that might be emotional territory, as Lee put it. She took a bite of her breakfast sandwich.
“Oh my God, how have I not known these existed? This is incredible,” Jannika said. She covered her mouth with her hand after realizing that she was talking with a mouth full of food. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”
It took them all of twenty minutes to finish their breakfast. They picked up the wrappers, plates, and forks and brought them into the kitchen. Jannika put hers on the counter and turned to take Lee’s from her. As she took the plate from Lee she looked into her eyes.
“Come sit down with me. Marcy came over last night and she helped me a lot,” Jannika said. She put Lee’s plate in the sink, took her han
d, and led her into the living room.
Jannika sat down and tucked herself into the corner by the arm of the couch. She angled herself so she faced Lee.
“Tell me about yesterday,” Lee said. Her voice was soft and she reached out and put a hand on Jannika’s folded leg.
“You know I got a call about Aunt Gunnie. And she’s fine. I called her this morning before I called you and she feels darn smart today. I reminded her that she needed to call her doctor today and make an appointment. What I didn’t tell you was that I got a text and voicemail from Joanne while I was at the hospital. Joanne and her girlfriend are selling the house and she found some of my stuff in the attic and wants me to come get it.” She looked past Lee and out the French doors.
Her palms were moist. She rubbed them on her thighs. She looked at Lee. Beautiful, kind, sexy Lee. A big part of Jannika wanted to somehow skip this part, pretend she’d never gotten the text, and take Lee into the bedroom.
“And what does that mean to you?” Lee asked. She moved a little closer to Jannika.
“To be honest, part of me wants to forget I ever got that text. But I need to go up to Maine and talk to Joanne. It feels a little scary, because I don’t like confrontation. But I’ve never had closure on that relationship, and I want to move forward in my life.” She reached for Lee’s hand. “I’m going up next weekend.”
“I think that’s very courageous,” Lee said. “It sounds like it’s the absolute right thing for you to do. I want to be honest with you too, Jannika. I hope that moving forward will mean moving forward with me, with us. And that might be coming on too strong and too fast, but there is something between us—I think you feel it too. It’s more than our physical attraction. It’s something deeper. Do you have a sense of that too?” Lee moved even closer to Jannika and put her right arm on the back of the couch.
“Yes,” she said. “I felt it that first time we were walking back to the store and we went and got the cookies. And you are very close to me right now.” Jannika smiled. She had to concentrate to get the words out. The proximity of her body to Lee’s was too close for intellectual thought. Her body hummed with desire. She saw her desire reflected in Lee’s eyes as well.