by Dawn Tamayo
Helen could feel the tears stinging her eyes, the pain was giving way to anger and finally she found her feet. She pulled her eyes away from her torturous sight and focused on the shops ahead of her. Taking a deep breath Helen put her chin up and forced her feet to move, one step in front of another. Finally she walked past Romero forcing herself not to look back, willing herself to get into the nearest shop so she could take a moment to pull herself together.
Romero couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Helen standing not ten feet away from them. His hand was still holding Maria’s and they had just put on an award-winning pretence of two people very much in love, and by the look on Helen’s face she had seen every second of it, and believed it. Romero felt like a knife had sliced through this heart as he saw the look in Helen’s eyes, but when he heard Maria ask what was wrong he remembered where he was and what was at stake. Romero quickly tried to recover himself and grabbed Maria to him so she wouldn’t see Helen behind her. To anyone else it looked like he was hugging Maria tightly, but Romero was pleading silently, desperately to Helen not to reveal who he was, not to say his name, or anything. He wasn’t supposed to be known by anyone around these parts, never mind be a policeman who had rescued someone from there and had fallen madly in love with them spending the most wonderful two weeks of his life with her! He couldn’t believe it hadn’t even been two months since he had met Helen, it felt like he had known her forever. But that couldn’t matter, not right now - too much was at stake for everyone. He kept looking at Helen, until he saw the tears forming in her eyes. He cursed himself quietly as he watched her slowly walk past him. He held Maria for a moment longer, then once he was sure Helen had gone he released her and pulled her to the little table sitting down so they were both looking out across the harbour at the El Paradiso.
Romero looked at the menu but he didn’t read a word printed on it. He was aware of Maria making small talk with him, pretending to discuss the options on the menu whilst she looked across the top of it keeping an eye on the El Paradiso. Romero didn’t respond, he just made grunting sounds in the appropriate places. Right now he couldn’t think about anything apart from Helen. He couldn’t forget the pain he saw in her eyes, but then he reminded himself of the pain she had caused him - the pain he felt a few nights ago when she walked out of his house and back to her fiancée. She hadn’t seen his pain that night, and the next day! So why shouldn’t she feel that same pain now? He hadn’t intentionally set out to hurt her, but Romero wondered if it would be such a bad thing for her to feel how he felt - if he had thought he hurt after driving away from her when he left her in Estepona then he had been very much mistaken, because he had not felt the full force of heart-breaking pain until Helen put that engagement ring back on her finger and walked out of his front door, closing it behind her. Romero closed his eyes briefly as he felt the feelings from the painful memory envelope him. Quickly his eyes sprang open when he felt Maria’s hand touching his, her eyes looking at him questioningly. At that moment he saw Helen walking back up the promenade towards the restaurant, expensive shopping bags in her hand. Within seconds she would be just feet away from his table. He didn’t want to do it, Romero wanted to jump up and stop her and explain everything to her, but he couldn’t. He turned his head away, covering Maria’s hand with his own and looked across the table at Maria’s menu, pretending to ask her what she was having to eat as if that was the most important thing to him at that moment in time. Regretfully he knew that Helen, like everyone else, would have to believe that he was here on holiday with his girlfriend. It was for the best. And as upsetting as it seemed to be for her, it shouldn’t make any difference to her considering she had her cosy life with Oliver Chapman all wrapped up! Romero could see Helen out of the corner of his eye, she had faltered in her step, but then she walked on. He could feel her presence as she walked passed him, not stopping or looking his way, with her head held up high in the air as she continued walking on down the promenade until she turned off, and was out of his sight.
“Excuse me. There are no more seats outside and the view is too good to miss, do you mind if I sit at you table?” The tall blonde Englishman said as he touched one of the two spare chairs at Romero and Maria’s table.
Maria looked up surprised to see Detective Spencer standing there dressed casually as a tourist in his grey t-shirt and khaki shorts, with sunglasses covering his eyes.
Romero sighed, he wasn’t surprised to see Detective Spencer one bit, he knew the detective and either Carlos or Miguel would have been watching them. If it hadn’t already been obvious he had no doubt that one of them would have mentioned that Romero had recognised Helen. Romero offered the Englishman a chair, and keeping in disguise he introduced himself and Maria, shaking hands as the detective sat down.
“I’m James.” The Englishman said falling into character. “It’s lovely here isn’t it? Do you live here or are you on holiday?”
Romero took up the charade, “No we’re not from around here. We are here on holiday.”
They paused as the waiter took their orders, Detective Spencer ordering an iced tea and handed the waiter a ten Euro note for his drink.
“Lovely yachts aren’t they?” Detective Spencer said nodding across the way to the huge two and three decked yachts scattered all around the marina. Maria sat vigilantly watching the yachts, she had a feeling the detective was there to talk to Romero and not her, since he had chosen a seat directly across from him.
“Yes, very nice.” Romero nodded.
“It’s funny because I am a long way from home yet I still manage to bump into someone I know – a friend, or a friend of a friend. Do you ever find that when you are on holiday? Do you ever bump into your friends?”
Romero knew exactly what Detective Spencer was getting at. He knew Carlos or Miguel would have been surprised to see Helen too, but he wasn’t prepared to go into detail with the Detective about Helen - she had nothing to do with the stake-out or operation, and she was personal. Very personal. That was his business and no one else’s. “Not really.” Romero responded.
“No?”
They paused as the waiter put their drinks down and handed the detective his change from the Iced Tea. The Detective looked surprised at the remarkably small amount of change in his hand and threw the remaining coins on the table for a tip - there wasn’t much point in pocketing them. He cursied under his breath at the expense of a drink and Romero laughed.
The detective continued, “Really? You never see anyone you know when you are on holiday - the world can be a very small place you know.”
Romero sighed, “Sometimes it is possible to see someone from the past, but that is very rare.” He looked the detective head on, letting him know there was no issue and this wasn’t something to be concerned about.
“From the past? That must be very inconvenient.” He said nodding to Maria next to him.
“Not really. The past stays in the past.” Romero said bluntly, wishing the conversation was over.
The detective nodded and drained the rest of his drink. He thought this was the quickest ten Euros he had ever spent on something non-alcoholic. “Well thank you for letting me join you for a moment. Have a lovely rest of your holiday.” He said as he stood up and walked off back in the direction he came from.
Maria looked at Romero questioningly, but he shook his head, they could talk about this later when they were back in the surveillance van. He had known there was the possibility he could bump into Helen, but the likelihood was so remote considering she lived and worked half an hour away so he really didn’t think that would happen or be an issue. There were thousands of people around the Puerto Banus area, and it would have to be bad luck if it did happen - he had already planned to stay away from the Estepona area, so he didn’t think it would be likely. How wrong could he have been, he wondered? Romero wanted to think more about Helen, but now wasn’t the time. He looked forward to having a few minutes to himself later that night when he could get some peace a
nd quiet, then that would be the time. Romero pulled his mind back to the operation and took his turn on keeping his eye on the El Paradiso.
CHAPTER FORTEEN
Helen let her feet take her one step in front of the other, faster and faster, until she was running back to her car at full speed. She knew Romero had seen her and she couldn’t believe that he didn’t care one bit for her! Because if he did he would never have held that woman in his arms and whispered to her like he had. Not right in front of her! The pain of the image of Romero so close to someone else seared through Helen and she could hardly breathe. She needed to get away - get away from him and get away from there.
As Helen reached the car she threw the bags containing Oliver’s shirt and some other items inside and jumped in. Turning the engine over she started the car and drove off manoeuvring onto the coastal highway. She could feel the tears streaming down her face and she wiped them roughly away with the back of her hand. Swerving around one car and then the next she weaved her way further up the coast. All the time she cursed herself for being so stupid - so stupid to have fallen in love with someone who was obviously was not in love with her, and never had been. She cried even harder until she realised she could hardly see now. Slowing slightly she steadied herself holding the wheel tightly. She could see the sign for Estepona getting closer and looked at the shirt in the bag next to her; the last thing she wanted to think about now was some stupid shirt, but she knew she had to get it to Oliver or he would be phoning her to see where it was. Helen pulled the car onto Avenida España and carried on driving along the seafront until she reached the turning for Oliver’s office.
Pulling up in front of the building Helen parked the car and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. She looked into the mirror and didn’t think she was kidding anyone, but it would have to do. She got out of the car leaving her handbag behind; she wasn’t going to be there for long, she just wanted to give Oliver his shirt and then she was off.
Helen walked past Oliver’s Secretary and into his office. He was on the phone but he put it down when he saw her.
“Oh good, you have my shirt.” Oliver walked around his desk and took the bag from her. He smiled as he looked into the bag, at least Helen still remembered where he bought his favourite shirt from, and his preferred colour. He walked over to the door and locked it as he undid his tie and started to unbutton his shirt.
Helen stood back and watched as Oliver moved across the office. She watched each step and movement he made assessing him, assessing herself. Okay, so he was no Romero, but he had a fit body and he was a good-looking guy, and a nice one at that. She was beginning to think she must have been crazy to be crying over some guy who didn’t feel the same way about her. Gorgeous or not, Romero wasn’t worth it. She had recited that over and over again like a mantra as she drove up Avenida España, and she was still waiting for it to sink in.
Oliver looked across at her and stopped, his shirt half undone. “What?”
Helen realised she had been staring at him. “Nothing.” She smiled.
“What’s with the sunglasses?” He knew Helen never wore sunglasses inside, she thought that was for posers.
“Nothing.” She said again shaking her head.
“Nothing, nothing. Am I going to get any more than that?” Oliver carried on unbuttoning his stained shirt ready to put the new one on.
Helen didn’t answer, she still watched him. She wondered if she had been smarter before her accident. Had she got it right then? There was a handsome, rich and successful man standing in front of her who was ready to give her everything she wanted, and she was acting like some spoilt brat who couldn’t have the toy she wanted because it wasn’t available. Wasn’t available or never was available? She didn’t care anymore, she didn’t want someone who could do that to her. She didn’t want Romero. No, she hated Romero!
Mentally Helen kicked herself for being so stupid, she told herself to see what she could have if she wanted it, and he was standing right there in front of her. Helen walked across the room and surprised Oliver as she put her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. She felt his lips on hers and closed her mind to what it was crying out for. She was not going to be stupid anymore. She was wising up, and growing up.
Helen kissed Oliver like her life depended on it, and she could feel his relief in his response. For a moment she didn’t want to think about who she was or wasn’t kissing. She just needed to be kissed, to be wanted and held. Helen closed her mind off and accepted Oliver’s kisses, letting her fingers trail to his exposed chest. She felt him pull her in closer and she willed her mind to fall deeper into the abyss of darkness. She felt the comfort from him and she accepted it, she needed it. Right now Helen felt like if she didn’t do something, anything, then her heart was going to break wide open and she was going to die.
Oliver broke their kiss, but held Helen close to his chest feeling relief wash over him. “Finally, I knew you were in there somewhere Helen.” he murmured into her hair.
She didn’t lift her head to look at him, but lay her forehead against his chest, “I’m sorry, but I am back now Oliver.”
Through her numbness Helen felt Oliver take her hand. He checked his watch as he unlocked his office door and reached for his jacket. Mindlessly Helen walked behind him as they walked past his secretary and out of the building.
Oliver held the car door open for Helen and closed it behind her. He went into the driver’s seat and she watched as his secretary came running out of the building after him.
“Mr Chapman, where are you going? You have an appointment in half an hour.”
“Cancel it. I’m busy.” Oliver called back as he climbed into the car.
“What time will you be back?” The secretary asked looking harassed.
“I don’t know. I’ll call you later.”
“Where are we going?” Helen asked as Oliver pulled away from the office.
“Home.”
Helen didn’t say a word, she just stared at the road ahead focusing on not thinking, not caring, not feeling the unmistakable hum of pain which reverberated through her body, soul and mind.
Helen didn’t wait for Oliver to open her car door when it pulled up outside their house. Full of determination she stepped out as soon as the car stopped - she knew exactly what she was doing, and was about to do. Helen plastered a smile on her face and walked past Mrs Becks as she opened the front door, and headed straight into the kitchen. Helen went to the large glass fronted fridge and reached in taking out a bottle of champagne.
“Would you like two glasses.” Mrs Becks appeared behind her holding out two exquisite crystal cut champagne flutes.
“Who needs glasses?” Helen said as she walked past the woman, champagne bottle in hand, and back out into the hallway to where Oliver was standing. She felt like laughing at the surprised look on the old woman’s face - Helen decided that Oliver’s housekeeper needed to be taken down a peg or two, since she caught the older woman spying on her several times earlier in the week, and Helen didn’t like it.
“It’s good to see you back.” Oliver said as he followed Helen up the stairs, pulling the last piece of his shirt out of his trousers as he went, “The other Helen was getting a bit boring.”
“She was stupid.” Helen muttered as she kicked off her shoes inside their bedroom door. She passed the bottle of champagne to Oliver as she walked across the room to her dressing table. She threw her sunglasses on the table and took the hairbrush, brushing her hair roughly and tied it back into a hairband. Helen didn’t look at her reflection once, she couldn’t. She didn’t want to see who was going to be looking back at her; she hoped the next time she looked in the mirror she would see the Helen of old, the one who had never fallen into the arms of a gorgeous and sexy Spanish policeman. She needed that woman back because she wanted to forget about Romero – forget she had ever met him, forget his eyes, his face, his body, his love, and his touch. After tonight it was going to be as if the last few mo
nths had never happened. The old Helen would be back, and Romero wouldn’t even be a memory, he would never have existed! He would never be able to hurt her again, no one would!
Helen turned back to Oliver, unzipped her shift dress and let it drop to the floor.
He whistled and held up the open bottle. “Glasses?”
“Over-rated!” Helen said as she closed the distance between them and took the big bottle from his hands and put it to her lips. Taking a big gulp of champagne she winced against the sting of ice cold sharp bubbles as they cut into her throat. She took another big drink from the bottle as she watched Oliver hurriedly remove his shoes and socks, and was now almost falling over his trousers in a haste to get them off. Helen handed Oliver the bottle and he looked at her like she was crazy wanting him to drink from it without one of his beautifully cut glasses. Then he shrugged and took an equally big drink from it as well. He watched Helen over the top of the champagne bottle as she stood in front of him in just her underwear, and appreciated the view. He had wondered how long it would take her to come around - he didn’t know what had happened to make this afternoon possible, but whatever it was he didn’t care. He could finally relax now knowing Helen was not going anywhere, even if she was acting a little more crazily than she had ever done before. He smiled - he quite liked this new side of her.
The bubbles were finally going to Helen’s head and her body was beginning to take on a warm woozy feeling. She laughed as she took the bottle from Oliver, pushing him back onto the bed. He watched as she took another big swig of champagne and put the bottle on the bedside table. Helen felt numbness begin to engulf her and she welcomed it.