by Edie Baylis
Beaming, Teagan rushed into his arms. ‘Oh, am I glad to see you!’ She wrapped her arms around Joe’s neck and stretched to kiss him.
Joe pulled away. ‘I can’t stay long, I...’
‘Oh my God, Joe.’ Teagan gestured to the imposing house looming over them. ‘You should see it in there. It’s massive!’ she gabbled. ‘It’s just me and Dulcie in there – the lady I’m looking after, but she’s a sweetheart. She’s got two children – Helen, who’s really nice and Robert. Robert’s scary – rude too and...’
‘Teagan, I...’ Joe shifted from one foot to the other.
‘I’d invite you in, but I’d have to ask Dulcie first. Actually, she wants to meet you and suggested you come around on my afternoon off!’ She smiled widely. ‘You’ll like her. She’s ever so nice. Drinks gin too and...’
‘Teagan!’ Joe’s face was serious. ‘I wanted to see you because I didn’t want to do this over text.’
Teagan froze, for the first time noticing Joe’s expression. ‘What’s happened?’ She clutched at his arm. ‘Are you alright? Oh no, please don’t tell me you’ve lost your job?’
Joe gently removed Teagan’s hand from his sleeve. ‘No, I haven’t lost my job. It’s...’
‘Thank God! We’d be going backwards with the money for the flat if that had happened and...’
‘Teagan!’ Joe hissed. ‘You’re not making this easy.’
Falling silent, Teagan blanched. ‘Easy? What’s going on?’
Joe sucked his bottom lip and looked at the floor sheepishly. ‘This isn’t working.’
Teagan blinked and frowned. ‘What isn’t working?’
‘Us,’ Joe said. ‘We’re not working.’
‘What do you mean?’ Teagan cried. Joe wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying, was he? Surely he wasn’t saying...?
‘This isn’t going to work out,’ Joe repeated.
Relieved, Teagan grabbed back hold of his arm. ‘I had a feeling being away like this would be too much. I know it’s only been a few days, but I’ve missed you like crazy too.’ She wrapped her arms around his waist. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll leave. I’m sure Dulcie will understand, but I might have to stay to the end of the week. We’ll find another way to save up the money for the flat.’
Joe dragged his hand through his floppy hair. ‘It’s nothing to do with you being away. I meant it’s not working between us anymore.’
‘B-But you said... This was your idea. You...’
‘I guess I wanted a few days to myself to prove myself right. And I did.’
Teagan’s eyebrows knitted together. ‘You sent me on a six month assignment to get money to move in together and then three days into it you decide we’re done?’ she cried, her eyes filling with tears.
‘Oh, come on Teag. You know as well as I do that we’ve been going through the motions for ages!’ Joe said. ‘There hasn’t been anything between us for a long time.’
Teagan felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. She hadn’t been going through the motions. She thought she’d marry Joe, when he eventually got round to asking her, that was. Nothing between them? There was everything between them. Joe was her world and the most important thing in it. ‘You wanted to get a flat. It was your idea. You said th...’
‘No, Teag. You said. You wanted us to move in together. You’ve been bleating on about it for ages! All the lads dig me about it. You’re like a fucking stuck record! I should have stopped this ages ago, but it was less hassle not to.’
‘Is that all I am? Hassle?’ Teagan sobbed, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Joe shrugged. ‘Look, I just don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m sorry, alright?’
Teagan’s eyes narrowed and she eyed Joe suspiciously. ‘There someone else, isn’t there?’
Joe laughed. ‘There’s been a few actually, but no – this isn’t because of anyone else. I just don’t want to settle down and you do. It’s not working. Simples.’
Teagan dropped her hand from Joe’s arm and resisted the burning urge to slap the lopsided grin she’d always loved so much off his smug face. ‘Who are they?’ she whispered. ‘Who were these others? These other girls?’
‘It doesn’t matter, they’re unimportant,’ Joe said.
‘It matters to me!’ Teagan wailed.
‘You’re embarrassing yourself,’ Joe snapped. ‘Listen, I could have let things drag on and let you think we’d got a future, but I didn’t. You’ve been texting and texting and driving me mad. I’ve done the decent thing and yet you’re still bloody moaning!’
‘Decent thing?’ Teagan screamed. ‘This is decent? Years we’ve been together and now you’re telling me it’s over? Just like that?’
Joe nodded. ‘That’s about the extent of it, yes!’
‘Interrupting your time with other women, was I?’ Teagan spat, her whole body shaking.
Joe rolled his eyes. ‘You always have to be melodramatic and over the top. You’re a goddamn bunny boiler!’
‘That’s quite enough!’ Dulcie’s voice spoke clearly and loudly.
Teagan swung around, mortified to find Dulcie behind her. ‘Dulcie... I....’
Dulcie looked through Teagan, her sharp blue eyes fixed on Joe. ‘You’ve said what you came to say young man, so now I suggest you scuttle back to where you crawled from!’
Joe stared at the elderly lady. ‘You what? Who are...?’
‘This is my property and you’re on it. Uninvited!’ Dulcie countered. ‘Make yourself scarce and when or rather if, you ever grow up you’ll realise your mistake in treating this young lady in such a fashion!’
Teagan’s mouth hung open at Dulcie’s words, taking a small amount of pleasure as Joe’s face turned an uncomfortable shade of red.
‘Did you not hear me, you imbecile?’ Dulcie roared. ‘Get off my property! That’s the last time I will tell you!’
Joe scowled at Dulcie, then at Teagan before turning and stomping down the steps. ‘Fucking mad old bag!’ he muttered.
As Joe got in his car, slammed the door and fired the engine, Dulcie stepped towards Teagan. ‘Come on, dear. Let’s go back inside. You can’t stand here all day.’
No one noticed the engine of a second car starting slightly afterwards and following Joe’s car down the road as he drove away.
‘I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE,’ Lena whined, realising she’d possibly overdone the doe-eyed look when Jonah shook her hand from her arm.
‘It was that alright,’ Jonah scowled. Agreeing to marry Lena was one thing, but he could have done with longer than forty-eight hours to get his head around everything before she’d taken it upon herself to organise a full-on fuck off engagement bash at his own club – inviting just about anyone and everyone. Including the goddamn press.
The first he’d known about it was when people started congratulating him this morning. Bloody embarrassing it was. He hadn’t even had the chance to mention anything to Gwen or Nero. Actually, it was very embarrassing. And there was only one way to look at it: his impending nuptials were now official.
‘I’m sorry babe,’ Lena slithered her arm around Jonah’s neck as he flopped into a chair.
Jonah forced himself to smile. He’d have to swallow it – put it down to her excitement. This pregnancy thing had been a shock to them both, but that didn’t make it any better. For a nanosecond, he felt guilty being as he’d never had any genuine plans to marry the woman – far from it. But at least he was doing the right thing - the only thing under the circumstances.
Jonah stared at the plate of food Lena put in front of him and forced himself to pick up the cutlery. He wasn’t in the slightest bit hungry.
‘I hope you’ll make the effort to spend more time with me now.’ Lena eyed Jonah carefully. It was time to up the ante. She placed her hand on her washboard stomach. ‘I know how things work, but now I’m pregnant with your child, the least you can do is stay faithful. I don’t want my baby infected with an STD because you can’t keep your dick in y
our pants.’
Jonah slammed his fork down, his eyes blazing. ‘Don’t you dare start dictating shit. I’ve never had no STD, nor will I!’
Quickly changing tack, Lena forced tears into her eyes. ‘I’m sorry... I-It’s just... I’m feeling unattractive at the moment.’ She looked sadly at her plate. ‘I-I’ve never been fat...’
Jonah contained the urge to punch her in the face. The silly cow was as thin as she had always been. ‘You said you’re only five weeks pregnant, Lena. You’re hardly fat. You look the same as always.’
‘But I won’t soon,’ Lena whined, her heavily-made up eyes scrutinising Jonah. ‘I’ll be all fat and pregnant and you won’t want me. You’ll go off with other women, I know you will.’
‘No I won’t,’ Jonah said through gritted teeth, wishing she’d shut up.
Lena sighed heavily. ‘And I’m so exhausted with these baby hormones. I could really do with a housekeeper or at least a cook and a second cleaner. You said you’d sort it the other day and it’s the least you could do being as you got me pregnant.’
Jonah bit back his retort. She spoke as if he’d planned to somehow purposefully override the chemical contraceptive. Hardly!
He’d have to try and do what she wanted. His father would expect that of him now she was carrying his child, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. ‘I said I’d look into it and I will.’
‘Thanks, babe. My tits don’t half hurt too. I think they’ve got bigger already. What do you think?’
Jonah shrugged as she shoved her more than ample cleavage in his general direction. Personally, he couldn’t see how they could get any bigger with the amount of implants she’d had put in.
‘What if they go saggy? I’ll have to have them done again,’ she gasped, her taloned fingers clutching Jonah’s hand over the table. ‘You’ll still love me though, won’t you?’
Jonah moved his hand away from Lena’s grasp in the pretence of picking up his beer. ‘Yeah, course.’ Well, he might have done if he’d ever loved her in the fucking first place, which he hadn’t. Not even slightly. And now he was struggling to even like her. Christ, what a mess...
‘Jonah, you haven’t mentioned the baby to anyone, have you?’ Lena batted her false eyelashes. ‘I don’t want anyone to know our exciting news until after we’re married. Plus, it’s bad luck to say anything until after the twelve-week mark. Promise me you won’t.’
Jonah shook his head. ‘I’ve already said I wouldn’t the other day and I haven’t.’ She didn’t need to worry about that. If people hadn’t already guessed the reason for their marriage, he’d drag out having to publicly announce he’d been so bloody stupid to get her pregnant too for as long as possible.
‘I’ve also got a date for our wedding pencilled in too.’ Smiling, Lena reached for her bag and fished out the registry office paperwork. ‘Nine weeks’ time.’ She pouted her lips. ‘I wanted something sooner because we need to get married before I start to show. I don’t want to look like a heifer walking down the aisle. Maybe they’ll get a cancellation? Perhaps you can have a word?’
Jonah nodded numbly, supressed rage pushing its way to the surface. Whether he liked it or not, he was stuck with Lena Taylor and found himself hating her more and more every fucking minute.
So engrossed with trying to keep his impotent rage under wraps, Jonah didn’t notice Lena’s hand leaning on the paperwork and partially obscuring what, if he had seen it, he wouldn’t have taken the pen and scrawled his signature. If he’d have seen what was there in black and white, he’d have thrown her out of his life and the house there and then.
Thirteen
COLLAPSING ON TOP OF THE BLONDE, Joe rolled onto his back, sated.
‘Joe?’ the woman whined, her fingers trailing down Joe’s sweaty chest. ‘Aren’t you going to finish me off?’
Stretching across to the bedside cabinet, brushing the woman’s fingers away, Joe grabbed his packet of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling deeply. ‘Greedy, aren’t you? I think you were pleasured more than enough last night. I’m surprised you haven’t seized up!’
‘But I’m still well horny,’ she continued. ‘You can’t leave me half done.’
‘Fraid you’ll have to put up with it, babe. I’ve got lots on today, so you’d best make tracks.’ Joe smiled, but he really wanted to just tell this woman to shut up and sling her hook.
The woman propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes caked with last night’s makeup. ‘What? You want me to leave?’
‘No, of course not,’ Joe lied. ‘It’s just that I...’ Hearing his phone beep, he swung out of the bed and grabbed his phone, betting that was her texting again. It usually was.
But then he remembered. Teagan was no more. His face split into a wide grin and just to prove the point, he opened the text messages, breathing a sigh of relief to find a spammy text about upgrades from Vodafone. Voila. No Teagan.
He grinned. Even if it had been her, he could now happily ignore her. Yesterday afternoon’s visit had lifted a massive weight from his shoulders and he should have done it a long time back. In fact, he should have never got involved in what would be classed as a ‘proper’ relationship with Teagan Fraser from the off. He wasn’t the type.
Joe hid the smile creeping back across his face. At least his housemates couldn’t take the piss anymore. Oh yeah, he’d seen them pressing their thumbs onto their foreheads when Teagan was mentioned. Now there would be no more of that, or no more digs about getting married either. Their faces last night when he’d announced he and Teagan were over had been a picture and they’d gone for a decent night on the town to celebrate his newfound freedom. Not that being with Teagan had ever stopped him from taking what he fancied where the ladies were concerned.
Hastily pulling on his jeans, Joe glanced at the woman that he’d brought back last night and grinned to himself, realising that at last he didn’t have to constantly think of excuses to answer the never ending rounds of Teagan’s questions.
Shoving his phone in his pocket, he yanked a T-shirt over his head, one eye on the large exposed breasts of the girl in his bed. He wouldn’t mind a bit more with her, but being as she’d already started demanding things it was best he got rid of her quick smart before she started stalking him too.
Picking up a bundle of hastily discarded clothes from the floor, Joe chucked them at the blonde. ‘Here’s your stuff. Sling anything of mine back on the floor and I’ll sort it later.’
Turning his back, he walked from the room, desperate for a drink. It was almost lunchtime and hoped the others would be up for grabbing a beer at the pub. He needed to offload his hangover, plus he wanted to get away from this chick before she decided she wanted to move in.
Joe moved into the kitchen, shutting the door behind him and stumbled to the fridge. Yanking it open, he saw it was empty, apart from a rather wizened tomato embedded to the back wall and a carton of milk.
Pulling out the milk, he unscrewed the top, sniffing at the contents. ‘Jesus Christ! That fucking stinks!’ he muttered.
‘We’d have bought some fresh with us had we known,’ a voice snarled.
Spinning around, Joe dropped the carton of milk, the curdled contents spreading in a lumpy pool around his bare feet. He stared at the rabid strangers in his kitchen, then his eyes quickly found his housemates, Alan and Dave, bound to kitchen chairs, their mouths covered with gaffer tape.
‘What the fuck?’ Joe gasped, his usual bolshie confidence evaporating at a rate of knots. ‘Who...?’
‘Who are we?’ the man growled, a ghost of a smile on his face. ‘That doesn’t matter. I’m here to ask questions and my friend here is making sure everyone obliges, nothing more.’
Joe dared a quick look at the monster in the other corner of the room and shivered internally at the thick scar down his face. And what the fuck was that? Half an ear? Oh, Jesus...
He shook his head slightly to double check he wasn’t seeing things. He’d been a tad heavy on both the weed and the bee
r last night, so it was feasible he was hallucinating. Unfortunately, he wasn’t. He focused back on the man talking – at least six foot six, with a thick neck and hands like shovels. They both looked pretty damn real to him and fear pooled in his feet, spreading rapidly up his legs into his spine.
This man didn’t look any more friendly than the other one; slightly less physically repulsive, but that was about it. Joe next looked across to Dave and Alan, their eyes pleading with him to do whatever these people wanted. This was typical of them. The first day as a free man away from the clutches of a bunny-boiler and his bloody housemates involved him in weird shit?
He took a deep breath and smiled at the vicious-looking pair. ‘Listen guys, I don’t know what’s going on here, but we don’t want any trouble. If my mates owe you money for gear, then let’s not stress. I’m sure we can sort it o...’
‘Do we look like lackeys collecting drug money from a bunch of wasters?’ the less ugly man spat, his eyes narrowing.
‘Erm, no... I meant...’ Joe hesitated, feeling even more uncomfortable. If it wasn’t to do with them, then...?
Before he could think of anything more suitable to say a meaty hand grabbed a handful of his wayward hair, the other wrapped tightly around his throat and forced his head down on the small kitchen table.
Joe concentrated on a cluster of congealed baked beans encrusted on the tabletop in an attempt to control his rapidly escalating panic.
‘Being as we’re nice, we decided to let you finish whatever you were doing in your bedroom.’ The man jutted his bull head towards the closed door. ‘And I used that time to talk to your friends...’
Joe blinked rapidly, pointlessly fumbling over the man’s thick fingers in the hope that he could loosen the grip around his windpipe. His eyes flicked back to Dave and Alan who looked just as terrified as he felt, possibly more, finding with mounting unease that they both averted their gaze. What had they said? Oh shit! Was the woman in his bed this guy’s wife or something? Please no...