by Kara Hart
As I grow older, I find myself more and more drawn to honesty. Ali has that spunk I crave, a body that makes sparks fly, and a mind that exudes intelligence and humor. She has a realness that reminds me that life can be new again, if you just will it to happen. She’s so much more than a model.
“Sandra, how long have you known me?” I ask. “Am I the type of person to keep this from someone?”
Sandra raises a brow. “Sure. If you want to get in their panties.”
Brad chuckles. I punch his arm.
“That’s not very nice,” I mutter.
“You still haven’t answered my question,” she says.
Have I told Ali about the job? Well… not exactly. Sensing her readiness to run, I offered a job I thought she’d like better. I’m not sure if she’s still available.
“Um. Well...”
To my dismay, Sandra resumes writing in her notepad. “I’m going to take that as a no, so I won’t schedule the studio rental today.”
“You don’t believe in me,” I joke.
Her lips tighten to the side. “This is 2021, Marc. If you want to stay in business, you can’t keep pulling these sorts of stunts.”
“That’s news to me,” Brian says.
Sandra rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Ask her on a date. It’s not that hard.”
She walks out of the room and closes the door, effectively shutting my mouth for me. Not going to lie, it’s a little embarrassing.
Brian uses his chair to roll across the room. “She told you off.”
“Shut up,” I say.
Wondering if Jim has texted me, I check my phone. I’ve got another few missed calls. The guy is relentless. Ali is the complete opposite.
Brian waves his hand in front of my catatonic expression. “You there?”
I blink a few times, returning back to the room.
Brows rising, he smirks. “What happened last night? Did you guys...”
He’s elbowing me in the ribcage.
“Real mature,” I say.
He finishes his laughter with a swift swig from his water bottle. “I’m just playing. I know you didn’t get laid. You have all the money in the world, but you, my friend, are terrible with women.”
The truth is I’m not really listening to him. I’m thinking about last night, replaying everything in my head, and wondering what I did wrong. Maybe I offered her too much. Money is an intimidating thing. Or maybe she sees right through me.
She seemed to be enjoying herself at dinner. It was a pleasant conversation up until I mentioned her dog. That’s when things got weird. And then there was the job offer. She left the book behind her. I didn’t even get a chance to talk to her about the modeling opportunity. Can’t wait to hear what she has to say about that.
“Of course, I spoke to her,” I say.
Brian leans into my vision. “And you said what, goodbye?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I offered her one of my books before dinner,” I say. “And then I offered her a job.”
His eyes thrust open with surprise. “Did you buy her a house, too?”
Standing, I make my way toward the southeast wall of my office. I stare at the hazy outline of Mount Rainier. When I first moved here, it’s presence didn’t make it to my awareness. But over the past few months, I’ve come to this spot to look out at the fuzzy white mountain that guards the city, and inspiration almost always finds a way to relax my mind.
This time, however, feels different. It’s like a bad omen, a warning to slow down before I spin out of control. I’ve always been a person who goes after the next thing I can get my hands on. It’s been crucial to my survival and subsequent rise to the top of the publication world.
Who gives a shit? Not me.
I don’t care about this business anymore. At least, not in the same sense as I used to. Money. Things. My enormous paychecks are paying the bills, but they’re giving my brain a deficit I need to escape from. Eventually, I’ll need to retire. I have an obligation to give Sammy what she deserves, and hopefully Ali allows me a real first date.
“I offered her a job,” I say.
Brian’s eyebrows are fixed. “Right. The modeling job.”
“I offered her a different job,” I say. “One more suited to her talents.”
Peering out to the hallway, I see Sandra stop. She turns and looks like her mind is stuck before rushing back inside my office. “A different job,” she repeats.
She’s sharp. That’s why I hired her. Sometimes, it gets me into trouble.
For a second, I hold my real feelings back. Allowing my wild ideas to linger for a few days is a much safer plan. Then again, if they tell Jim, they’ll be out of jobs too. For once, I’m not stuck with the burden of deciding my next move. I can just do it.
I suck in a breath of fresh air, closing my eyes to briefly envision myself on Mount Rainier. My legs are crossed, and I’m starting to feel my inner Zen give me the confidence and creativity needed to face these people honestly. Whatever that means.
“The magazine isn’t going to happen,” I say.
It’s a declaration. A big fuck you to the board.
They don’t seem too impressed.
“Oh, I get it. You’re acting like an idiot now,” Sandra groans.
Brian stands, mouth shaped like a sad rainbow. “I’m with Sandra, man. I rescheduled shoots for this. Unlike you, I have bills to pay.”
He’s on salary.
I meander through the two, getting my checkbook out from the top drawer of my desk. “How many zeros do you two need to keep your mouths shut?” I ask.
Brian exhales. “You’re really not going through with Momma Bear?”
The name makes me cringe.
Chuckling, I sign two checks and write a number with a lot of zeros. “If this isn’t enough for your time, I’ll get you another one in three months. Just keep your lips sealed.”
They’re all accomplices now.
Sandra’s eyes fall on the number. “I just want to get this straight. You’re giving us ten grand to help you get laid?”
“It’s for Sammy,” I say. “She needs a good role model in her life.”
My team leader twitches. “That’s a good answer. I don’t buy it.”
“Then rent it out until you can afford it. My daughter adores Ali,” I say. “But she’s been very adamant about keeping me in the friend-zone.”
“There are better ways to impress a woman,” Sandra groans.
I realize how pathetic I look, but they don’t understand. There are rules to this thing, and now I’m caught in a web of promises I won’t be able to keep. Everyone wants to steal a piece of me. Everyone, except Ali.
“I have to be very careful about this whole thing,” I say. “I’m not allowed to call her.”
Brian quickly pockets the check before I can take it back. “Are you ten years old?”
He’s right. The game we’re playing is stupid and childish. But she seems really adamant about staying away from potential boyfriends. What else can I do? She makes the rules, not me.
Sandra interrupts before I can respond. Eyes wide, she plants her hands around the edge of my desk. “Well, you’ll have to tell her about the idea,” Sandra says.
I glance at Brian. He’s keeping his mouth shut.
Sandra’s confidence solidifies, and she crosses her arms. “You have to, Marc.”
Exhaling, I give a grin that immediately falls short. “I was hoping I didn’t have to,” I admit.
Frustrated, Sandra gives up arguing. “Fine. We’ll do it your way. But when this thing falls apart and she’s running out that door at the party, don’t come running to me for help,” she says, stopping a moment to catch her breath. “Oh, and since you’re keen on being a hopeless sap for the rest of your life, the best way to get her in bed is to get to know her. You know, listen to her problems. Take her to the dog park. Let her play with your new dog.”
Oh, right. I bought a dog.
It’s no
t a bad idea. “Noted,” I say.
I watch as Sandra disappears down the hall.
I’m stuck with Brian again. Fun.
Grabbing my bag, I tuck in my chair and nod toward the door. “I’m going home. I’ve got a dog, a wild daughter, and a couple thousand problems to fix.”
Brian beats me to the exit. “Not yet,” he says. “Come on. You faced Sandra. Now you have to face me, your best friend. You like this girl?”
I deflate, mimicking Julius Cesar’s betrayal. “Et tu, Brute?”
It doesn’t make him laugh.
“Maybe you should let this thing go,” he says.
I frown and push my weight against the door, but he gets his arm in between the exit in the nick of time. “You know how much I want you and Sammy to have a better life,” he says. “She deserves a mother. A good one.”
There’s a but coming. “But?”
He takes his arm away. I could run, but it’s better to face whatever it is he has to say. Relaxing, I take a step back and motion for him to continue his little advice column.
“I just want to make sure you’re not rushing into anything,” he says.
I think back to the night I took Sammy to buy her first dog. We’ve had such a hard time moving around, flying from city to city, and searching for a home that the look of excitement on her face took me by surprise. It’s almost like I woke up the night I saw Ali. For years, I acted like a business zombie, and now that I’m aware of all the crap I need to change, I’m seeing how big a job that might become.
My sister died, but she left me a gift. Regardless, it hurt like hell. It changed the course of my life, too.
Since then, I’ve dealt with the loss by remembering her image and living up to the standard she’d want for her daughter. It’s been difficult, but I’m learning to take the hard moments in stride because Sammy is the best thing to have ever happened to this world. I will not let my sister down. I can’t afford to let that happen.
“Trust me. This one time, put aside those doubts,” I say.
“You’re a wild card, Marc.”
I scratch my head. “Nah,” I mutter. “I’m putting those days behind me. I just want to put everything in my life together. Maybe this is a miscalculation, but I think I want to see it through.”
His face relaxes. His lips twitch, preparing a smile. “You really like this girl, don’t you?”
It’s too early to think about that. I just want to keep seeing her.
“Let’s put it this way. I’m willing to risk my ass for this,” I say.
He tilts his head back, eyes narrowed. “You like her.”
Either my cheeks are turning red or my whole face is on fire. “You don’t think I’m in over my head?” I ask.
A deep bubble of laughter escapes him. “You’re definitely in over your head. But that’s all right. I’m going to save you.”
“My hero,” I joke. “And how are you going to do that?”
He moves away from the door, smug. “Give me a couple days. You’ll see.”
Ali
An hour before class starts, I smuggle my slobber-stained St. Bernard into Marymoor dog park. It’s just a few short blocks from Shadow Park Valley Day School. With over forty-four acres of farm land at our disposal, the other dogs have space to run around and explore. This place is a doggy Disneyland. I don’t think Rowdy will be any trouble for me. He’s quite happy.
Today, I carry forward with a bit more optimism than usual. As the day unfolds with an orange sherbet sunrise, a warm breeze evaporates the fog, and for once, Rowdy is behaving like an angel. It’s something in the air, I guess. Everything feels like it’s coming together, even if I left things with Marc unfinished.
To welcome me into the school, one of the other teachers, Amanda, has decided to join me on my morning walk. Attempting to stay in the present, I focus on the beautiful landscape and realize I’ve got the whole year ahead of me. If something is going to happen between Marc and I, nature will let it happen.
I meet Amanda at the end of a sawdust trail that hugs the green grass. She’s got her own dog. Her own well-behaved handsome beast of a Rottweiler. As soon as Rowdy sees her, his ears perk up, his mouth fizzes with gooey saliva, and he lets out a bark the size of a Buick.
Holding the leash tight, I give it a gentle tug. Then I give Amanda a quick hug, watching to see if Rowdy sneaks a nip. The store owner was right, he’s not a bad dog. He’s just a little clunky and awkward. Everyone judges him, but he’s a good boy.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I say.
“Of course. Did you catch the sunrise?”
It’s still going strong. I give an excited nod.
“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” she asks.
I admire the area and feel blessed to start over in such a positive way. When I first arrived in Seattle, it was a little overwhelming. I found myself occupying my time in line for the Space Needle, or reading books in the park near Pike’s Place Market. Tourist stuff. But what I’ve started to realize is that a city is defined by its inhabitants, but what surrounds it gives it some much needed character. On the outside of Seattle is a wide variety wildlife, nature, and picturesque views that can change your entire day. Who knows, maybe I’ll become one of those nature girls someday.
“I love it here,” I admit. “It’s like a dream.”
“You’re new in town. Someday, it’ll feel like a nightmare,” she jokes.
At least, I think it’s a joke.
I met Amanda a few days ago when I was first getting adjusted at school. Dean Berman introduced us, and we immediately hit off. She’s got a loud personality, the opposite of my award-winning awkward demeanor.
It’s a newer school, but its reputation has been built up like the Great Wall of China. It’s an impenetrable fortress of wealth, status, and power. Amanda has a reputation, too. She’s rich, wears expensive clothes, has her own gaggle of minions, and has some pretty foul taste in men after getting d. That’s just me being honest.
A new teacher like me shouldn’t get accepted into a private school like Valley Day. But Amanda gets me. I understand her. We’ve got enough determination to see us through the finish line. We’re also the youngest among the staff. If we want to survive, we better stick together and keep our alliance strong.
As we talk and catch up, I can’t help but notice the light reflect off her dog’s amber fur. “Wow, she’s a pretty girl,” I say.
She bends and brushes her back. “This is Luna,” she says. “Go ahead and pet her. She won’t hurt a fly.”
I reach and let her sniff the back of my hand. When she gets a good whiff, her tail starts to wag, and her tongue whips near my face. “Hi, sweetie,” I whisper.
My dog shows off by urinating near my new shoes. “This hunk of meat is Rowdy,” I mutter.
Amanda angles her head. “This is good ol’ plan b?”
I told her all about the story of Ragamuffin, leaving out most of the key details to be safe. Marc seems to be well known around here, so I haven’t mentioned his name to anyone. It’s my little secret. Something tells me it’s coming.
I contain my laughter. “The dog I wanted to get turned out to be a little demon, so Rowdy’s growing obedience is a pleasant surprise.”
Rowdy farts. It’s time to start walking.
“So, I saw you talking to someone in the hall the other day,” she says, eyes lighting up. “Want to tell me what that was about?”
It’s gossip time for her. For me, it’s time to find out more about the situation surrounding Marc. What does he do for a living? What’s the story surrounding Sammy? These are key details I need to know if anything is going to happen between us.
Pretending I don’t know what she’s talking about, I furrow my brow. “Who, Dean Berman?”
She frowns. “Don’t play dumb with me. The guy in the black suit who looks at you with puppy dog eyes. Marc Wylan.”
I laugh, but my head is starting to wander back to the dinner I had with Marc and Sammy. It
was nice. And then I ruined it by storming out. I don’t even know if he still wants me after school with his daughter. Does he still want me at all?
Amanda leads her broad-shouldered Rottweiler ahead of us, while Rowdy tries to sneak a sniff of her butt. “Oh, come on,” she teases. “I know this is your first week, but you can open up to me. I’m one of the good guys.”
I suck in my lower lip and laugh, allowing the embarrassment to roll out of me. “You know the guy?” I ask.
Tilting her head back, her eyes bug out. “You could say that again.”
“Wife?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “A lot of women were wondering about his situation, so they did some digging. No wife.”
Jeeze. The women around here are real marriage sleuths. Normally, I’d be against that sort of thing, but I find myself storing that bit of info with pleasure.
A flurry of emotions run through me, but I lock my lips and keep them to myself. For a few moments, I just walk, going over all the possibilities in my head. He could be a scientist working on the next vaccine to cure all diseases. Or maybe he’s a doctor. Of course, my mind quickly moves the opposite way. Is it possible he’s some weird, wealthy, powerful, and mad control freak who wants to take over the world with force?
Amanda can’t wait to blurt out the answer. “Dude. You know how the area skyrocketed in value last year?”
Actually, I didn’t know that. I’m not usually using my free time to study the housing market. “Yeah, of course. So crazy,” I say.
“It was because of that guy,” she says.
Rowdy plants his nose in the grass, smelling something he likes. He starts to pull on the leash, but he responds when I flick my wrist and tighten the lead. I follow his movements as he veers off path ever-so-slightly.
“What do you mean?”
She laughs, smug. “He’s worth like a billion dollars.”
Rowdy’s pulling me, but the world has come to a grinding halt. Only able to blink, I try to process what she just told me. “A billion?”
She nods her head slowly, eyes two round bulbs with rolling dollar signs in the center.