by Jami Alden
What did Caroline need?
I kept hoping you would come after me. All that time, Caroline had been waiting, ready to give him another chance. And he’d let her go without a single protest.
Quitter his father had called him. Danny had always believed he was being strong, tough, not losing himself over a woman, not realizing all the while he was already gone. His father was right, he had quit on Caroline. And he’d let her quit on him.
She was alive. Caroline was alive out there, and she loved him, and Danny had admitted defeat before the war even began.
His dad was right. It was time for Danny to pull his head out of his ass and go after his woman.
CHAPTER 22
One week later
Mount Aspiring National Park, South Island, New Zealand
Caroline crested the ridge and paused to take off her Gore-Tex shell. Though the air at that elevation was cool, even in the middle of New Zealand’s summer, she’d worked up a healthy sweat as she hiked the last pitch to get over the ridge. She stuffed the jacket into her pack and took several bracing gulps of water, half listening as the guide pointed out landmarks to Caroline and the other four hikers on the guided trek through some of the most gorgeous landscape Caroline had ever seen.
Jagged edged, snowcapped mountains strained for the sky, erupting out of the lush green valley. A shallow river wound its way through the valley floor. Caroline closed her eyes and imagined she could hear the frigid crystal water rippling over the rocky bottom.
Cool air whipped strands of hair loose from her braids. She drank in the scent of the wind, smelling of green grass and crisp snow. It was exactly what she needed. Kate had questioned her decision to travel halfway around the world alone to go on a multi-day trek with a bunch of strangers. But while Caroline had always wanted to travel to New Zealand, James had never wanted to go. Now she was free to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and if she wanted to go to New Zealand, by God she would.
Not to mention that going halfway around the world, across four time zones and an international date line made it somewhat easier to resist the temptation to call or e-mail or otherwise contact Danny.
But her thumbs itched every time her cell phone picked up service.
It was good, perfect. The clean air, physical activity, and stunning natural beauty distracted her from thinking so much about Danny. The landscape they covered between the lodges every day was wild and undeveloped, so different from her own world it was like she was visiting a different planet. The people were different too. The locals were friendly and laid back. No flinty eyed, emotionally stunted heart breakers in these parts. She could almost pretend she’d entered an alternate universe where Danny didn’t exist.
Then she’d see something—an animal or a stunning vista—and she’d want to share it so badly with Danny it was like a physical ache. He would love it there. The craggy peaks and endless miles of running trails. In the past weeks at home and as she’d trekked the miles there she’d gone over their conversation a million times. Maybe she’d been too rash. Maybe she’d panicked. Maybe she should have stuck it out and given him another chance.
But she always came back to the same conclusion. If he’d wanted another chance, he could have asked for it. He knew damn well how to reach her. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life, trying to beat down all his hard edges until she broke herself on them.
She opened her eyes and let her gaze drift over the other people in her group. The guide was an affable man in his late forties with a salt and pepper beard and a face burnished from years of exposure to the alpine sun. Of the five hikers, she was the only one not part of a pair. The other hikers were a married couple from Texas and two girlfriends from London who wondered gleefully how their husbands were managing alone with their young children. It was nice. If she wanted companionship at dinner, she had it. If she wanted to retire early and be anti-social, no one questioned it.
No one asked her too many questions. She never had to talk about her year of hell and how her run-in with an ex had caused her heart to implode for the second time in her life.
She took another breath and drank in the beauty. A break from her world and its ugly realities. She drank in every drop.
“Let’s move on then,” the guide said, satisfied everyone had had a sufficient water and view break.
Caroline slipped her pack on and was turning to follow when she saw a black dot moving swiftly up the ridge from the direction they’d come. Unlike the members of her group who leaned forward, trudging heavily up the steep slopes, this guy moved at a fast, steady jog, his pace never slackening. He was nothing but a dot behind them as Caroline turned to follow her group.
A little more than ten minutes later—less than one third of the time it had taken Caroline to cover the same distance, she heard the crunch of gravel under jogging feet.
“Hey, I think this guy wants to pass us,” she called up to the group. Everyone stepped off to the side to let Speedy Gonzales pass by.
“I think I’d rather join up with you all, if that’s okay.”
The slightly breathless voice froze the breath in Caroline’s chest and made her heart leap against her ribcage. She had to be hallucinating.
She turned around, lifting her gaze up, past the lean abs and broad chest covered in Capilene. Up the strong, tanned throat, jutting chin, and full, firm lips twisted into a tentative smile. To gray eyes full of warmth and hope and regret.
“Hi Carrie.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked stupidly.
He moved closer and she could smell the scent of clean sweat clinging to his skin. “You told me you were waiting for me to come after you all those years ago. I was hoping that was still true.”
It was all too surreal. She’d never heard of altitude sickness causing hallucinations but there was a first time for everything.
“Is there a problem here?” the guide asked.
“Nope,” Danny answered. “I just needed to have a talk with Caroline.”
“You followed me all the way to New Zealand?” she asked, still unable to process what was happening.
He reached out a hand and cupped her cheek. “It took me awhile to figure it out, big, dumb male that I am, but I finally realized that if I ever want a shot at being happy it meant chasing you down and begging you for another chance. So here I am. Coming after you. And I’m going to keep doing it until you say yes.”
All of the reasons why that was a bad idea clamored in her head. He could make all the grand romantic gestures in the world but that wouldn’t change anything. “Danny,” she shook her head.
His thumb brushed across her cheekbone. “I know I have to get better. I know I have to learn to,” he paused, “share,” he said quickly as though the word tasted funny, “and not shut myself off from you. I can’t promise I’ll get it right away, but I’ll try.”
She leaned into his hand, absorbing his touch. “You came all the way to New Zealand,” she said again, still not able to believe it. Still not sure she could let herself hope.
“I’ll go anywhere for you Carrie. I love you.” He cradled her face in his hands and tipped her face up for his kiss. His touch washed through her like a balm, healing the cracks and fissures inside her until she couldn’t imagine living another moment without him. “I love you so much,” he whispered. “And I need you,” he said, almost pleading. “I need to marry you and give you babies and be with you.”
She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, tasting the salt of tears and the flavor of a man. A man who had come half way around the world to tell her he loved her. “I love you too. And I want everything.”
He pulled her to him so tightly she lost her breath but she didn’t care.
“You have to promise me something too,” he said.
“Anything.”
He pulled back to look at her, his gray eyes serious. “You have to promise to have faith in me, in us. You have to trust that even if I fuck up, I want
to make you happy. No more keeping things to yourself until you convince yourself dumping me is the only solution.”
“You’d come after me anyway,” she said smugly.
“You’re right,” he said, his eyes turning molten. “But I’d exact my revenge.” He kissed her again, hot and sweet as his tongue slid against hers.
Carrie opened her mouth to let him in and twisted her fingers in the damp hair at his nape. A loud throat clearing abruptly reminded her of their audience.
“This is quite romantic and all that, but we’ve got another five kilometers before we reach the lodge. And if I’m not missing my guess, I’d say you two definitely need a room.”
Danny never wanted to hike with a boner again. The last five kilometers had been torture, not only because of his state of arousal, but because he knew he could complete the distance to the lodge in a little over fifteen minutes instead of the nearly fifty it took the straggling group. It took another twenty minutes to check in and get their room assignments. The lodge was bare bones, but thank God Caroline had a private room.
He stood next to Carrie, unable to keep his hands off her as she signed the registry. His fingers slipped along her long, silky braids. His hand stole up the hem of her shirt to touch the bare skin of her back. With her sun kissed, cosmetic free skin she looked young, carefree, and so beautiful it made his heart twist.
His. She was his and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time. And he couldn’t wait to get her alone to start proving it to her.
She barely got through the door before he had her pressed up against the wall. Kissing her like a starving man, licking into her mouth and drinking in her taste. “Jesus, Carrie, I missed you so much.” He slid his hand up her shirt to cover her breast and encountered the thick lycra fabric of her Jog bra. “Take off your clothes,” he nipped at her neck. “I want you naked.”
“Let me shower first. We’re all sweaty.”
“Good idea,” he grinned and stripped off his shirt.
“Whoa boy. Showers are down the hall.”
He followed her out of the room, grimacing when he saw the separate bathrooms clearly marked men and women.
Not exactly what I had in mind, he thought as he watched her disappear behind her own door. He beat her back to the room. He stripped down and lay on the bed, grinning as he caught sight of himself sticking straight up like a flag pole. Yeah, he was definitely excited to see her.
He licked his lips in anticipation as the doorknob rattled. Carrie wore a short white robe and a shy smile, her damp hair spilling in thick locks down her back. He could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo, the freshness of soap, and underneath it the warm musk that was all her own. His balls drew tight against his body and he felt like his cock grew another inch. “Come here, baby.”
He caught her by the hand and pulled her down to the bed with him. He threaded his fingers in her wet hair and tilted her head back for his kiss as he rolled her under him. His cock brushed the silky skin of her thigh and he hissed in pleasure. “God I missed you,” he whispered. The taste of her, the feel of her skin under his hands. All the sweeter because he never thought he’d have her again.
“Danny,” she pushed against his shoulder. He pulled his mouth from hers and rolled to the side.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She rolled to a sitting position and he propped himself on his elbows. “I was just hoping we could talk first.”
Talk? He’d followed her halfway around the world and was sporting a dick so hard it could cut glass, and she wanted to talk? He shoved his frustration aside as he looked into her wide, expectant brown eyes. “Talk. Sure. I can talk….” he trailed off, distracted by the curves of her breasts, revealed by the gaping neckline of her robe. Focus. Ogling her tits is not the way to prove to her you can change. He dragged his gaze back to her face. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Well,” she said, twisting a strand of hair around her fingers. “I think it’s important for us to talk about our feelings, how we’re going to work through the hurt we’ve caused each other in the past, and recently.”
Oh, shit. His mind drew a blank. Any hurt he’d felt would be obliterated by the first touch of her hand on his cock, but he didn’t think she’d appreciate that. “Uh, I think as long as we listen to each other,” what had his dad said again? “and try to uh, respect each other’s needs we can work past it.” He thought that sounded good. He nodded attentively and waited for her to take her turn.
Caroline opened her mouth but couldn’t get a single word out before she started cracking up.
Realization dawned. She was messing with him.
“You should have seen your face,” she said through gasps of laughter. “‘Talk? Yeah, I can talk,’” she said in a low, dopey voice.
“Bitch,” he chuckled as he flipped her to her back and pinned her. He untied her robe and pulled it open so he could look at her breasts.
“You love that side of me.”
“I love every side of you.”
Her laughter faded and her eyes got all misty. Suddenly it got so deep and real it was almost scary. He kissed her and felt something break open inside of him. Her robe seemed to melt away and she was all hot silk under his hands. His lips sucked and teased her breasts, his hand slid between her thighs to find her slippery wet and ready for him.
Part of him wanted to take his time, savor her, wring every bit of pleasure out of her. The other part wanted to claim her, get inside her, fuck her deep and hard, and feel her coming around his cock.
The primal part won out. He kneed her thighs apart and thumbed his cock into place, groaning at the feel of her pussy parting for him, taking him in. Sweet and hot and better than anything he’d ever felt.
He froze.
“What’s wrong?” she panted.
“I forgot the condom.” He started to pull away.
Long lean legs clamped round his waist. “It’s okay. You don’t need to wear one. As long as you’re ready.” Her dark eyes locked steadily on his. He knew exactly what she was asking.
“Everything. I’m ready for everything.” He sank home, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head as he felt her closing around him, tight and hot with nothing in between them. This time he was going to come inside her. The thought turned him on so much he almost came right then.
Every muscle flexed as he struggled for restraint. He kissed her, stroking in her mouth like he was stroking her with his cock. He’d never felt like this, not even before with Caroline, every part of him singing in pleasure as his heart burst inside his chest.
He could feel her tightening around him, hear her cries against his mouth. She came hard, shuddering and shaking around him while her body milked him. His orgasm burst through him like a wildfire, his cock twitching as he came, spurting hotly inside her.
He collapsed on top of her, so wrung out he could barely move. Caroline wrapped her arms around his back, hugging him close as she rained kisses on his neck and shoulders.
“Love you so much,” he murmured. It got easier to say every time he said it, and felt better every time.
“We’re going to do it right this time, aren’t we?” she whispered.
He kissed her hard and felt a smile of pure happiness stretch across his face. “Damn right we are.”
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“You know something?” Josh cocked his head to the side as the corner of his mouth tugged upward. “I just figured out what it is about you that doesn’t fit.”
“Pardon me?”
He pointed at her forehead. “The way you talk. It’s what throws off this whole picture.”
A wave of confused dizziness hit her. “I have no idea—”
“There’s emotion in your voice, well, sort of, but your body never moves.” He nodded his head as if warming to the subject. “Makes me wonder if there’s any feeling inside there anywhere. I’m betting no.
”
The shaking moving through her turned to fury. Ten more seconds of his garbage and he’d be feeling her hand smack across his face. “You don’t need to worry about my body.”
His eyebrows rose. “If you say so.”
“I need your detective skills.”
The lazy grin vanished as his back snapped straight again. “No way.”
“What kind of response is that for a grown man?”
“The only one you’re going to get.”
“Could you at least try to be civil?”
“You killed that possibility a long time ago, lady.”
Okay, she deserved that. He refused to understand her position, but she couldn’t exactly blame him for the anger. “I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for Ryan.”
“You pay a whole team of professionals to poke around in other people’s private lives for you. Get some of them to do your work. You don’t need me.”
Lot of good all that money did so far. “I actually do.”
“Well, that’s a damn shame since I already have a job.”
Time for a reality check. “Word is that might not be true soon.”
“Visiting my office again, Ms. Armstrong?”
As she watched, he turned into a serious, uncompromising professional. He talked to her with a tone part soothing and part condescending. She sensed he would handle an interrogation the same way.
His disdain lapped against her. He didn’t say the exact words, but he didn’t have to. His actions spoke for him. He hated her.
Gone was the laid-back surfer-dude laziness that hovered around him making the business suit seem all the more out of place. Blond, blue-eyed with a scruff around his mouth and chin, he could play the lead role in any woman’s bad boy fantasies. But behind those rough good looks lurked a man serious and in charge, tense and ready for battle.
Well, he wasn’t the only one in the room fighting off a deep case of dislike. He needed to know she was not one of his frequent empty-headed bedmates. She could match his intellect and anger any time, anywhere.
“Most of the information I need about you and your current predicament is in the newspaper,” she said.