by D. N. Hoxa
Vampire. He said the word and all I could think about was the legend of Catalonia about Dip, the evil dog who sucked the blood out of humans. The story my mama told a thousand times to me and my sisters. I shook my head. It wasn’t possible.
“I know it’s hard to understand, but whatever you heard about vampires before, if you have, forget it all and listen carefully because the things I am about to tell you will be crucial to keeping yourself alive. The first thing you need to know, aside from the fact that we need to drink human blood to survive—”
“About that. Does it ever get better?”
“No. It doesn’t. You always feel the hunger,” he confirmed reluctantly.
“So I just kill people?” I felt disgusted.
He shook his head. “Not necessarily. You will learn, can learn to feed off people without killing them. You take as much as you need to get through another day or two, and you stop.”
I didn’t know how I could possibly ever do that. I couldn’t stop myself with the dead man. Not until I’d gotten the very last drop. How was I to stop when there was more?
“You’ll learn. In time. Just give it time,” he said again. “Promises,” he continued. “Do not make promises if you cannot keep them. If you make a promise and you break it, you die.”
“Promises,” I said in wonder. Just a word could kill you?
“Yes, promises. Do not make them, under any circumstance, if you have even the slightest doubt that you won’t be able to keep them. Understood?” I did. “Good. Now—”
“How? I’m sorry, but how are we like this?” Things were catching up to me. It was all starting to look very real.
“Nobody knows. It’s a virus that gets in your system when you turn and stops everything in your body, except for your brain. That is why we are super-fast and have super senses. The brain functions to its full capacity in us.”
I wasn’t even close to understanding, but I pretended that I did.
“Not every vampire can make new ones. You have to be a Doyen, a master vampire, to turn others. And once you turn a vampire, he or she will be bound to you forever. They connect to you in a way no one understands. Vampires are compelled to do everything the Doyen says without question.”
“Ray turned me,” I said, terrified. I hated the guy. Did it mean that I was compelled to do everything he said?
“Yes, he did. And whoever this Ray is, he must be far away from here, because otherwise you would’ve felt the need to follow him, be close to him and fulfill his every wish.”
“But I don’t. I don’t feel anything—”
“If you get close to him, within a certain distance that’s never been defined, then you’ll feel him. You’ll feel the tug and the need to go after him.”
“I can’t be around that man again,” I said.
“It’s not up to you, unfortunately. But we need to move on, Matias, if we’re going to make it out of here alive.” I didn’t interrupt him again. “I need you to tell me first where you think you are and what year you think this is.”
“The year is 1691, but I don’t know exactly where I am. Ray said New York, but I’m not sure he spoke the truth.”
Dublin lowered his head. He looked so uncomfortable, I almost asked him if he was okay.
“The year is 2029, and you are in New York. In what used to be Long Island.”
I stood up without realizing it. Out of everything, what he was saying now was the most ridiculous thing I’d heard. Ever.
“Liar.”
“I promised you I wouldn’t lie to you. You know now what happens if I break that promise,” he said calmly.
“I only know what you’ve told me. And you’re a liar.” I was desperate now. Desperate because he looked honest.
“I’m not lying, Matias. Look around you. The world evolved and what you see is not nearly half of what it used to be before it became what it is today.”
“My mama. My mama and my sisters…they…”
“I can assure you that they made it safely to New York. All of them, and your Papa stayed behind. They were safe for a very long time after the night you planned to escape.”
“How do you know that?!” I shouted.
“Keep your voice down!”
“Tell me, right now, how do you know that I was planning to escape?”
“Because I know you, Matias. I’ve known you before, even if you don’t remember it. I swear to you, you told me all this yourself.”
“That’s impossible. It’s impossible. It’s 1691, I know it. And we were going to…when Papa caught me, Mama and my sisters…I saw them last in the backyard of my house. I need to find them. I need to find them and make sure—”
“Stop, Matias. Please, stop,” he said, defeated. “Please, listen to me, or you’ll die before you’ve made it to tomorrow.”
“I can’t…it can't be. It can't be 2029.” I felt ashamed for wanting to cry so badly.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but listen to me and be strong. Trust me when I tell you that your Mama and your sisters made it safely to America back in 1691. Can you trust me?”
I couldn’t speak. He stood up and came to me, and grabbed my shoulders to shake me until I looked at his face. “Can you trust me, Matias?”
I didn’t want to. I had no clue if I should. But I did know that there was no one else out there I could talk to. No one else that wouldn’t kill me on sight, or try to do to me what Ray did. And if others were half as bad as Ray had been, then I definitely didn’t want to talk. So I nodded.
We sat again.
“We’ve lived forever among human beings. Always in secret, keeping to ourselves, most of us. But thirty years ago, or even earlier I assume, they found out about us. They were scared, and with reason. We are better at everything, and they couldn’t have that. They couldn’t live under the threat of losing their planet to us. So they tried to bomb all of our homes, places we stayed in the most. We found out about it. We were ordered to move all the bombs to every part of the planet. When they went off, they went off everywhere, and made the world what it is today.”
I nodded, though I understood nothing.
“A lot has changed since the time you remember. Look at the buildings around you,” he said, shaking his head. “But nothing matters more than keeping yourself alive for now. So I will tell you what you need to do right now, as a vampire, and you’re going to listen to me if you want to make it.”
I started to laugh. “Why would I want to make it? My family is gone. Three hundred years of life have passed, and I don’t even remember them. Why would I want to keep going?”
“Because you might not remember yet, but you have things to live for. Things I cannot tell you about, but you must find them yourself. Again. Trust me, Matias, this world needs you. And you need it.”
He sounded so sure of himself. I kept quiet. “You cannot be exposed when the sun begins to rise. In time, you’ll be able to stay awake longer and longer, but before then, fifteen minutes before sunrise, make sure you’re inside, somewhere where the sun’s rays can’t touch you. Got it?”
This I understood. I’d felt it myself the night before.
“With the human world gone to hell, things have changed in our world as well. There are three bases in the United States. Here, Boston and Washington. These places have walls around them—very hard to miss. You never go close to those walls, not for any reason. Humans have perfected their technology, and they have devices that can sense you from miles away. You do not want to catch their attention, so keep away from the walls, and keep away from humans that are inside the walls.”
“But how will I…” Drink, I wanted to say. Yet, I didn’t, because it didn’t feel right.
“I’m talking about the people inside the walls. You’ll know the difference. They dress differently. They have cars. Big cars, and they’re organized. They never come out in a group of less than ten people. It is on others that you feed, and there are a lot of others left in the world, outside the
walls of the States. So you feed on them,” he said, and I flinched at feed. “Silently. You’ll learn to feed when they’re asleep, and you won't even have to wake them. They won't even know that you were there.”
“Okay.” It was not okay, because I didn’t know where I would learn. But I knew I’d have no other choice but to figure it out.
“Take this,” he searched his pockets and handed me a small metallic bottle, something I’d never seen before. “It’s gin,” and when he saw the lost look on my face, he added: “alcohol. It’s what keeps our minds from the craving for a few minutes at a time, if we’re lucky. You won’t get drunk, but you’ll forget with every sip. Find what you can on your way, and always keep some close when you need to be in control, understood?”
“Okay,” I said again. I felt pathetic. I never had tasted alcohol before. Ever.
“Keep away from the humans from the inside. They have guns. And they have silver bullets. And silver, Matias, makes for the most painful moments in the life of a vampire.”
“Silver.” I nodded.
“You keep away from silver. It doesn’t kill you, but it hurts you and it freezes you. Weakens you enough that you’ll be easy prey for anyone around you.” I nodded. “Weakness is bad for you. Do not show it, not ever. Not in front of humans, or around them, and not in front of vampires. If a vampire senses that you’re weak in any way, you are done. You do whatever you have to do to come off strong, courageous, and unafraid of anyone, or anything. You do not want to see what happens if a vampire gets the idea that you’re weak.”
“Understood,” I said.
“Death is bad for us. The only way to kill a vampire is to decapitate him. Take away the head completely, and burn him. All of it, and make sure the bones have turned to ash, too.”
“That’s the only way?”
“No. That is not the only way. There’s someone who kills differently. And there are promises that if not kept, take you away from the world and you never see the light of day again.” For a second, he looked like he was in pain, so I didn’t ask questions.
“So sun’s bad, inside-the-walls humans are bad, silver is bad, weakness and fear are bad, death is bad…what else?”
“A lot, but there are things that you cannot be told about. There are things that you need to see and experience for yourself in order to understand.”
“I thought you said I couldn’t survive on my own,” I reminded him. And the truth was, the way he described everything, I was pretty sure I couldn’t, either. I had power, sure, but seeing him run faster than I did meant there were others out there like Ray who maybe were stronger than me, too.
“You can't. Not yet, anyway. That is why I am going to send you to the Yukon. That’s in Canada.” He took out a piece of paper from the pocket of his jacket and opened it in front of me. It was a map. “We’re here,” he pointed to the first red dot on the paper, “and you need to get here.” He pointed to the other red dot. “So you have to go north from here, get it?” I nodded. I was already beginning to panic.
“What’s in the Yukon?”
“A vampire. My Doyen,” he said. “The first thing you do when you see him, or feel him, or hear him when you get there, is to tell him that Dublin sent you. Do you understand? The second you hear movement when you’re close, you whisper, and you say Dublin sent me.”
“But how will I know if it’s him?”
“No other vampire goes to the Yukon. He’ll be the only one there. Just make sure he knows before he reaches you.” That seemed very important to him so I nodded.
“Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked, half fearful and half hopeful. I didn’t know him, yet he was all I knew.
“No, of course not. I need to leave you, right now. Be on your way tonight; don’t waste time. It’s dangerous for you to be here before you understand…” he said and stood up.
“Why can’t you just tell me so I don’t have to go at all? Wouldn’t that be easier?” It sounded pretty easy to me.
“I can't,” he whispered.
“Well, why not?”
“Because I have things to do. People have to see me, and if I spend time with you, they’ll come looking for me. Remember what I said about others seeing you?” I nodded. “They cannot, for any reason see your face.”
“You think they’ll mistake me for Hammer, too?”
“They will. And they’ll kill you.”
“But I haven't done anything—”
“It doesn’t matter, Matias. You need to be gone, right now,” he said and went for the door. “They’re coming.”
“Wait, who the hell was Hammer? And why are you helping me?”
“You’ll figure that out soon enough.” He started to descend the stairs.
“Swear to me that what you told me was not a lie!” I didn’t believe him, but what other choice did I have?
“I swear that all I’ve said to you today is the truth.” He turned around to look at me for one last time. “And change those clothes, will you? Black is your color.”
***
I didn’t see Dublin again after that. I sat still and waited for the footsteps around me to stop completely.
I couldn’t bring myself to think straight. My mind was a mess. A tangled mess with no beginning or end. I missed my family, and I didn’t dare think that I would never see them again. If Dublin had told me the truth, they’d all have been dead for a long, long time now.
One thing was clear though, even between the tangles in my head. I needed information. Information that would keep me alive, and a purpose. A purpose to live for. I needed to get to the Yukon, and find that crazy vampire nobody dared go close to, have him answer some questions and then…I’d figure it out.
But first, I needed clothes. I wore a dark brown, completely torn camisole with almost all of its buttons missing. And my greyish pants were a mess as well. I realized my feet were bare only when I looked at them. So I found the first purpose, and I was on my way.
It was actually easy to find stuff when you could see in the dark with such clarity. I found closets and I found clothes of all kinds. I found pants, much tighter than I was used to, but they worked. I found shoes which were the most comfortable things I’d ever had on, and a black shirt, much like the ones I was used to, only softer. It wasn’t until the third place that I found something I had no idea I’d been looking for.
It was in a massive building with the highest ceiling I’d ever seen. Giants could fit in there without trouble. It had once been very beautiful.
I tried to imagine the place without the dirt, with all the things I did not know how to name, unbroken, whole. Red velvet covered a set of stairs that shone under the moonlight that streamed through the hole in the ceiling. There were different things, costumes at every corner of the wide space on lifeless, faceless figures. I saw all kinds of things I had no idea how to explain. A red hat with so many feathers on top, it looked like a bird; an armor that looked to be made of pure gold; swords as thick as two of my arms together; a man’s body with the head of a tiger; a figure painted completely in white, save from what was supposed to be its arm that was cut in half, and black. Burned.
And then I came across a figure, the only one with a face. A mask. A black mask with cheekbones made of metal, and the rest made of leather.
I took it off the faceless figure. The inside was strong and there was a thin, see-through material above the eyeholes, so that whoever was looking at me wouldn’t even see my eyes. But I still could see every detail through it. I tried it. It fit perfectly. I tied the leather behind my head tightly. Good thing I didn’t need to breathe because it would’ve been impossible to draw in air through the tight leather and the darkened metal.
There was no mirror around me, but I didn’t need to see how it looked. I didn’t need to know. It would have to do. Nobody could see my face and mistake me for Hammer anymore.
I tricked myself into spending another hour, just looking. Or maybe the things around me tricked me. So fa
scinating, I felt like I could never get enough.
And the fascination they caused helped in getting my thoughts in order. I’d lost three hundred years of life, but I couldn’t let that thought consume me. So I pulled the map Dublin had given me out of my pocket and tried to read it.
I made out the letters and was glad I had learned to read when none of my friends had bothered. Why would they? I wouldn’t have, either, if it wasn’t for my mama. I remembered how she used to stay up with me almost all night, until Papa came home, and she read to me, patiently, until I understood every last word. It broke my heart to tell her I didn’t want to—I didn’t see the point in learning how to read. So I went along. And now I was thankful.
Remembering Mama’s beautiful face made me want to break down and cry. It was painful to push thoughts of her away from my mind. I didn’t know how to live in a world where she wasn’t. I guess I was still just a little boy at heart.
According to the red dots and the thin red lines made between the names on the map, I had to make it to Pennsylvania by going all around New York City. A red X marked it, which only meant that I was not to go there, not even close. Stay away from inside-the-wall humans. I could do that. I had a purpose. I had a goal. As long as I had that, I wouldn’t lose it. I couldn’t. No matter what, I had a direction to follow, and I was going to see where it took me.
IX
I had never run faster and longer before in my life. It was insane how fast I was. It took me a little more than an hour to get to Pennsylvania. It had to be some kind of a record, though I wouldn’t know. And I didn’t intend to stop, not until I felt the sun beginning to rise.
But then my legs stopped working all by themselves. My ears had caught a beating heart.
The craving in me grew as I imagined a monster would. I gave not even a thought to the gin bottle Dublin had given me, which was wrapped in a dirty piece of cloth and hung around my belt.
I stopped and closed my eyes, and concentrated only on what I could hear. Besides the wind, there it was. A smile spread on my lips, and I felt it to my core. The beating was delicious.